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What to do if Neighbours are Spreading Rumours About you

By: Jeff Durham - Updated: 3 Feb 2019 | comments*Discuss
Dealing With Neighbour Rumours Coping

Unfortunately, we live in a world where gossip and rumour-mongering is prevalent throughout the whole of society. Often, it comes about as a result of the person who is spreading the rumours about you being very insecure, and may even be jealous or envious of you for whatever reason.

Try To Rise Above It

Firstly, although nobody enjoys being gossiped about, it’s important to realise that most gossip and any rumours that are spread about you will probably be pretty harmless. Wherever possible, you should try to keep a cool head and let it rise above you.

Much of the time, the person(s) who is spreading rumours are hoping that they can provoke you into some kind of retaliatory action so the more you can ignore them the better. Laugh things off if another neighbour approaches you with some gossip, and the likelihood is that they will lose interest, too. The rumour ‘spreader’ is more likely to start to feel that they're the one that other neighbours are starting to pity.

What if it Starts Becoming Malicious?

Although most gossip and rumours are pretty harmless, even if they can be a bit hurtful, sometimes they can start to get out of control and, before long, you can feel quite victimised, especially if the person spreading the rumours have been able to coerce other neighbours to ‘jump on board’. This can sometimes be very damaging to the mental health of the victim.

You might start feeling as though everyone is laughing at you or condemning you and this can lead to you feeling paranoid or suffer symptoms of anxiety and depression. If this happens, there is a real case of harassment taking place now and you are Protected By Law Against Harassment. You may wish to approach the police or, perhaps a better course of action would be to contact your local authority’s anti-social behaviour team, if they have one, and explain the issue to them.

Confronting the Rumour Monger

Before considering taking any of the actions above, it may well be worth contacting the rumour monger first to discuss the situation. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll end up becoming friends with them but sometimes rumours originate as a result of complete misunderstandings, so it might help to ask them why they have been spreading rumours about you and on what grounds are they basing their assumptions.

It’s also useful to tell the person how their actions have affected you, especially if there are no grounds for the rumours in the first place. Even if you don’t get the desired response, it may be worth asking your neighbour if they’d be prepared to Speak To A Mediator with you to help reach some kind of agreement.

Taking Legal Action

Unless the rumours can be proven to constitute some kind of harassment, taking the person to court is fraught with danger. Firstly, you’ll need to be able to provide proof that their comments are slanderous and have caused defamation to your character, and that’s often quite difficult to prove. Also, not only will legal action be costly, a defamation lawsuit may not necessarily result in any restoration of your character, and may even damage your reputation further.

Therefore, simply ignoring or laughing off rumours are usually the best way to go about dealing with them and people will soon get bored. However, if they do start to cause you harassment and make you feel that you’re being wrongly persecuted, then the threat of involving the police or actually involving them is perfectly acceptable under laws to deal with harassment.

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My wife and I have been subjected to physical assaults, intimidation, harassment and vandalism on a constant daily basis now for the five years of our social housing tenancy with our local LA. The root of our problem is that I am an Irish Citizen and my neighbours do not want us living in their park. The Police are dealing with our issues but our landlords (Castle Point Borough Council) are not. Their stance is they do not get involved in matters of anti social problems. They told me to stop sending emails to them that they are not referees between neighbours. The most recent assault on us was a vicious physical assault that resulted in that neighbour, her boyfriend and a friend getting a Community Resolution Order (Each) and the tenant a 'Community Warning' from the Police. This however was pointless as this neighbour is continuing to attack us and harass us. She has now also begun to coerce other neighbours to ‘jump on board’ with her and they too are attacking us. We sought the help from the LA (Council) but they told me to stop bothering them. We would leave but we cannot afford to. Our life living here is hell on earth.
OB - 3-Feb-19 @ 1:57 PM
I say about my hasty neighbourshe dose not just talk about me but every one who lives by her Like she tells people I had to get the police as my other side not us as there bed room active was to noise and could hear throught the wall she told me that was when I was talking to hear now what they do is get the new neighbourask me question to pass back to them like what Happen to the carson in haspital but as yet he as not we just talk a bout when the dust man comeing round again you see she tell people is back garden is a mess the man as just move In got two small childrenfull time job got no time for garden now winter start in portent in any live is famerlys
Dot - 24-Jan-19 @ 2:14 PM
Nasty neighbourthay don't like me we have two handicap boylive in this house 50 years Thay want our fence downBecouse thay go a cross a path with no drop curb so Insed of ask us he tell the man the other side he was going to move ithe as out grown his garden so he want our but forlast 8 year they have tried to get us outbut with a brought house they would have to go to cort now with other neighbour whom have jumped on the band wagon you may say they wear trying to stop a handicap bus I have not been out of my house for 5 years because I can't leave my handicap son now he is in hospital very poorly
Dot - 24-Jan-19 @ 1:39 PM
My family and l live in the middle of many older nabours and it's an old wardens house and because the warden has left that helped a lot of the older nabours they hate us living here but my son who is autistic feels safe here and we love our home.The older people play bingo in the community centre next door and you can here them shouting about us throwing hate speech and we have been to the police and they have spoken to the two that have caused these problems by getting others to join in the shouting and pointing the finger. I don't work and care for my wife who is registered as disabled and look after my son as he has fits at random times my daughter is a God send and is doing fantastic but when she goes out to play the nabours grunt at her and twitch the curtins. But we are not leaving so bigger to them Matthew UK
Matt7777 - 21-Jan-19 @ 7:20 AM
The anti social behaviour team is a joke. Neighbours now spreading rumours and phoning sspca saying we are cruel to our dog. THEY were caught with council recording device, AND their son formally warned by night time noise team. HE is now phoning the asbt on a regular basis complaining about us. The law is an ass, and so is the dundee anti social behaviour team
Disillusioned - 3-Jan-19 @ 7:16 PM
Our neighbours are malicious and driven by hate and envy. They had us arrested for assaulting them, when it was us who were directly physically attacked by them. The police took their word for what happened on a piece of crappy phone footage. We were kept in a cell for 24 hours released and now face a court case and possible eviction from our home. These two little idiots believe their own lies and somehow manage to get the authorities to come down on their side. We are beside ourselves with what may happen, cant sleep or eat properly and have had the worse Christmas ever while these two Neanderthals get off Scot free!!! There is no justice in this world and the lunatics are certainly running the asylum!!!!!
Tenacity rules - 31-Dec-18 @ 4:30 AM
My neighbours reasantly started and got the whole street involved. All because a guy up the road is reporting people for there gardens I'm getting the blame for it. I've had nasty cards posted the house has been covered in silly string and now there making a beeline for my child and relationship but what she's saying is crap. She's the 1 with violent kids and men standing in the gully waiting for her of a night time with booze she drinks a lot and had her 1 kid arrested. He used to smash the house up and beat the daughter up, the police was always there. I kept well away wouldn't speak to her didn't want to no,Now I've called the police and informed them an all I can do is set cctv up! I now hardly open the curtains and it's frightened me. My other half is a full time worker so I just stay in hiding now as these women are dam nasty had some strange old lady today looking in the living room window with a dirty look shacking her head and just blatant. What u supposed to-do if the people uve never even seen b4 in ya life and theyve gone like that?? And were not in a situation to be able to pack up and move, but it's frightening that they can mess with the house and do all this and get away with it I've not hardly sleept in 3 nights with worry some1 will mess with the property. I've informed landlord he said yes contact police,
Pukka pie - 6-Dec-18 @ 2:32 PM
My neighbors did a lot to me only because they could get away with it. Sleepless nights juvenile delinquent behaviour Noises left, right and centre All in the name of having fun Once they were instructed to apologise to me but it was a trick for what's was to come. I believe, by the ring leaders I am told not to say anything Even when they pretended I was the one doing everything Is this fair? The flats are small there are sometimes you can't tell where the knocking is coming from? Nobody is telling the truthof how it all started they just blamed me for whatever reasons . I rememberhow and when everything startedwith us all. I even remember the exactyear things went more down hillin the neighbourhood There are real haters around If they want the truth the years the neighbourhoodseemedto went downhill is the truth The answer is there . I suppose they don't care for the truth. The truth is to do with God so they don't care Hmmmmmmmm
Busted stalkers - 17-Nov-18 @ 7:02 PM
I heard one of my neighbors was evicted I don't know if she left or if it's true Anyway it's none of my business . I don't want to know and this is the honest truth . What I don't like for myself I can't like for others. I suggest she stop joining others to try to humiliatethemselves in the guise of humiliating me I really feel this being should find out the real truth about How she lost her home if this is true and go after them and leave my life immediately . I had nothing to do with her for years before she left or her associates so I am not and was not involved . Nothing means I had already washed my hands of them and did not want to know nothing about their business even up to this day Rumours have it she grassed up on her x boyfriend and many others and is now enlisted in a group to try to humiliate her innocent x neighbors for some time now She and the so called friends left behind have been participating in drilling , spreading lies, pounding and non stop harrassments giving the Neighbor no choice to defend herself For the most part they are trying but is humiliating themselves They stopped low No point reporting to the police everything is leaked I knows her name Also gave her own family problems Gossipers said she told them her boyfriend works for the housing trust. No wonder my life was such a misery. What I don't like for myself I don't like for others. Even if it'san awful person . I want to send a message to this Pearson.I don'twant to know if you work,if you aliveor if you are dead for years now. I live and let live. I suggest you find the truth if it's true what I heard . Please get out of my life . Life and let live Enjoy your vouchers but not on my account. You had thought the other girl should go away from the area until you befriended her No you and your acquaintances should live and let live . If sombody humiliated you Its surely not me Go away and leave my life alone . I really don't mind if you go after the ones whoreally humiliated you all Can't you manage them? Do what you does best? The word of God said you are an evil spirit . We wrestle against spirit and principalities in high places . If you are an evil spirit I know a God that could crush you and your evilspirit inside of you all. I won't mention your name You know who you are Leave me alone.Youhave your own problems to sort out Stop the lies If you can't figure the real reasons shut up Stop the organised harassment !!! LOW Keep writing about dogs ?
Wild Wild West - 17-Nov-18 @ 6:39 PM
One of my neighbours with a reputation as a trouble maker told people i was a peadophile and that i had been staring in a sexual manner at there daughter and other allegations without any proof , I contacted the police and they were useless , I live a law abiding life and keep my self to my self but due to these false allegations i've been beaten up , Spat at in the street , Its a sad state of affairs when people can say anything they like without proof ,Left me frighten to leave my house
james74 - 17-Nov-18 @ 4:02 PM
I know how everyone feels.I am an older person living with my son, we have lived at our apartment for 10 years.Now we have a new landlord that is mean and abusive though we always pay the rent on time.Our neighbor is friends with landlord and she makes up lies on me to get me into trouble and he believes her and comes after me.I am a Senior Citizen and this has never happened to me, it has gone on for over three years and it is destroying my health and can't sleep.The landlord and this tenant are a nightmare for me and everyone.But, God is watching and he will punish them.And what goes around comes around.This is clear elder abuse on me from these two 60 something year olds, they are downright mean and evil.They try to provoke me, but, I ignored them.I have never met people in my life like them, they enjoy doing harm.And that is evil.God will punish them, but, I refuse to play into their hands.
Hope - 16-Nov-18 @ 7:51 AM
My neighbors started to gossip about me and my family. Im only a teenager and it really stress me out. The rumors spread on my school and everyone's treating me horrible. All I could do is cry on my friends and pray. Its been going on for 3 years. Im so depressed.
Hurt - 11-Nov-18 @ 3:16 AM
So a person is being provoked they not suppose to react? Nobody ask you if you are or was provoking the personfor the person to react to you that way They ask if the person is down You said yes They say let's kick them You don't live there so you want the person out Gal I know you. You are not sIck in the head you are just EVIL I DONE WITH FIGHTING EVIL EVIL HAVE 10000 HEADS You can't fight fire with fire Fight fire with PRAYERS Leave it to GOD GOD GO DEAL WITH IT IN HIS TIMING
Black - 4-Nov-18 @ 1:39 PM
A good person will always be a good personnobody can't change that It's the mindset Don't matter what othersdo or say about them Again a good person will always be a good person Just don't respond to provocation when when it's brought to your front door in any form . Who agrees ? Years should be for growingnot stuck in childishness Life is hard so if you are helping people ease pressure of lifein some way hey althoughthis is negative And unfair Life is not easyfor nobody as some think,we all dealing with life Just because sombody don't continuously provoke you don't mean life is good for them . Some people kick you if they think you down But youcan't keep a good person down Kick them they will get up So think twice !!! Then you will get more upset cause they get up Is this upset good for you healthi wise? Your game is coming to an end . Shoo fly don't bother me People shoul use your years for growing not stuck in mischief !!!
No you live and let - 4-Nov-18 @ 11:03 AM
I have the same problemwith some neighbours they are going out their way to provoke me. It can do their health more harm than good in the long runand also you if you don't ignore their negative behaviour. All the blame for a juvenile and others was decided to be put on me. So long as you know SOME !!!!! of thereason why this is good for you. It may be a case of childish people who want to continue playing with you combined with something more sinister!!!. Like racism Stop responding to them it's a waste of life and energy to respond to negativity I was painting and they could hear they started responding thinking I wanted to play with them. Then other times I was chopping meat when both downstairs consult upstairs But to tell you the truth I do not wish to play gangstalkinggames. Who want to flollow follow. Which brothers that want to pretend to be the same person go ahead I done with responding to provocation it's childish and evil. And besides life is to short to live to respond to provocation when it could be better spent cherishing something good or good thoughts . So go ahead leave your mark. I applaud you but sadly for you all I don'e playing with you I am grown if you all want to stay childish go ahead People ask for the truth and can't even deal with the truth They prefer to deal in lies Well if this is your fun though sad continue and enjoy Its not mine I don't continue to provoke others to reaction to laugh because it's wrong. I have better thought to dwell on Down with organised gangstalkingit's not a secret anymore.I am not feeding into it. How I react to evil is my Karma I decide to ignore I will ignore provocation My energy God gives me is not for that . Negativity ruin lives What does it profit a man/woman/peopleifthey gains the whole world and suffers the loss of his own soul!!!! If people you never had a confrontation with is displaying negativity ignore them and if you did have a confrontation and they can't grow up still ignore them NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR RUINS EVERYONE HEALTH. ESPECIALLY IF ITSSOMETHING NOT WORTH LAUGHING AT. These people not interested in the truth. truth is sometimes boring with no laughter Show them you have grown up in years months . However long. life is to short for that gangstalkers LIVE AND LET LIVE GROW UP DOWN WITH GROUP BULLYING PICK ON YOHR OWN.SIZE
That's jokes for yo - 4-Nov-18 @ 10:35 AM
My neighbour is spreading malicious lies about me, including that I am being investigated by the police for stalking. I reported this to the police who sent a PCSO to speak to her - my neighbour lied that she had heard other people talking about me. The PCSO told me my neighbour was entitled to speak her opinion about me. I have told the police that no one is talking about me, my neighbour lied to protect herself. The police refuse to help.
West Ken - 20-Oct-18 @ 10:57 AM
I live in a flat in a nice quiet village until I had the neighbour from hell move under me .Spreading stupid rubbish lies about me things that are causing other neighbours to treat me in a horrible way .
Nessie - 17-Oct-18 @ 6:41 PM
My neighbor behind our house is Terra Bella irrigation district they lease out that property to a man that lets his cows die on the property behind us and does not pick them up unless told to do sothey have ababy calves out there and take in the mothersdead body away yesterday and left the calf to starvewe called the sheriff because the Humane Society wouldn’t come out I reported it to the property owner and he says that those are his friends and they can do what they want not his problem I feel that this is emotionallydistressing me and my family we fear for our lives the person leasing the property shot into our property and I almost hit my husband and try to scare us By intimidation tactics I know that’s illegal the officer never came to take the report now I’m afraid for my husband to go work on our ranch and I don’t like to be out there either without another person aroundI am in constant fear that something will happen to our livestock or one of my family members on the ranch we bought this house to enjoy it from day one they never gave us a chance they always caused a fight what can we do
Loni - 26-Sep-18 @ 2:33 PM
The neighbour where I live her father decided to fly tip in our back garden, small fence posts with concerate on the bottom plus other bits of wood, bits of bricks, grass, when I approached him he told me it was ours, I said to him your daughter has just had her fencing done and it’s her old fencing with terracotta paint on it, at this time our fence was painted green, I asked him to stop he did for a while, then the neighbor and mother came out hands on hips started mouthing it, I got back in my car were my 20 yrs old daughter was sat, I reversed back to get out of the private lane then he started throwing stuff back in the garden I drove back down and my car skidded on the grass ( no intention to hurt anyone) no where near her father, then he came around to my car window and started shouting how dare you, I said what!my daughter said my mum hasn’t done anything, my neighbor told her son to get her i pad she told her father to stand in front of the car where the bumper is and she took the picture, her mother told me I was trespassing in the lane I told her I have more right than you, anyway the neighbour called the police told them I was trespassing and I tried to knock her father down, the police came asked me what had gone on I told them my version he did say he had a look at the skid mark and just said be careful I told the police there was no intentions but I had to prove to the police I was not trespassing and had to show them our house deeds which they where happy withI just wanted him to stop fly tipping but they have caused trouble before over parking we’re I was told to park my car on my f...... drive and f... off back to where I came from by her ex husband, and he actually drew a line with his finger and said this is your part of the wall this is our part telling me not to park my car over the line!They don’t cause trouble when my husband is at home, I know she is talking about me because 2 of the neighbours who use to talk to me don’t, but they were slating my neighbour off anyway but I didn’t get involved in there dispute I haven’t spoke to my neighbour for 2 years but they have twisted things and tried to make me look bad, but I do believe in Karma!,
Honey - 18-Sep-18 @ 7:03 AM
One of my neighbours that I don't get on with said to me look at my own children. She said I and my friends got to be insane because of what we got involved in and believeswe want sombody to pray for us by the looks of what we are involved in as people with children..
Look at my children - 29-Aug-18 @ 4:56 PM
A neighbour keep planning evil against me like if they think they are the devil. And they are saying they are having fun. I pity them but at the same time is angry that they have no idea this is not what fun looks like and it's not laughable quite nornally. This shows Satan isa busy one and is keeping them busy To be honest I feel they should forget this jealousy , racism and hatred they openly displayed in bold and get on with their own lives. Focus on their priorities . I am fed up of their unwanted obsession and attention focusing on me. So we do not get on what's the big deal. In an ideal world you go your way and I go mine's. Just leave me alone Know when to stop. If you try to use me as an example you will look weak and like big bulliessince you bring in everyone else because it has already been revealed the housing is part of it. They all attacked me together . I feel so ashamed for them. This is low. They said they are having fun Wish they could really have fun doing something good and not evil.
Pissbuddies - 26-Aug-18 @ 10:59 PM
Maybe this is what having loads of fun looks like . Ongoing !!! racism non stop Not partying, not shopping,not genuine laughter Your confusion can't done Your heart is so heavy Lighten up
Good luck in life - 27-Jul-18 @ 5:03 PM
How does these type of people manage to convince others who you don't know or who don't know you to turn them against others. How do they get the guts to do it No wonder society is so sick? I really want these same people to write the answers of how you manage to put people one against the other and sleep so well. You are the true devil not the other you are pointing your finger at . I suppose you figure out what sick minds like yours like to hear. So you and the person can't see eye to eyeand everyone is you in your minds eye.One day you will talk to the wrong people who will ask you who are you talking about? That will be the day
Everyone is not you - 23-Jun-18 @ 11:02 PM
Yes gangs are usually very large But is it good?
Bad management - 15-Jun-18 @ 5:49 PM
The answer is that yourneighborbad spirit cannot stand your good spirit the bad spirits wants to dominate your good spirit in the name of the good spirit. So the bad spirit playing the good spirit is vexation to the good spirit So if allowed to weaken your goodspirit you good spiritcan't be freed. So what to do is a hard thing its called staying strong. Your complaint about yourneighbor is nil youwant to eat of forbidden fruit you can't your spirit is good dear . You are the good spirit so her spirit don't give with youher bad spirit. It will take you a long time to figure all this bad spirits are let lose around you causing vextation to yourgood spirit they are many that cause vextation to The only answerfor you is to try and stay strong. Can't you see God loves you. Conquering the lion of the tribe of Judah.
Your Version - 15-Jun-18 @ 5:30 PM
My partner and his daughter moved in to his sister house a week a go front the start the neighbors have done bad remarks from them his daughter as autism and as only just the past few month got the conference in going out last night was leaving my partners as the next door came out moaning to us that there live there and so does my about us having two cars next minute this other bloke came to the car and said I have a go at him and head butted him and damaged his nose he lost quite a lot of blood I rang police and never went to see the bloke she said she would be back today and not been yet they told the police that my partner had fell told them my partner had a go at them and he didn’t he always sees me of police didn’t he take a statement then this morning they been spreading rumours about him saying he causing trouble etc
Sarahamy - 9-Jun-18 @ 5:19 PM
They are playing with you they believe you are playing because you sneezed or even cough . Perhaps you are closing a window orthe radiator is expanding. They are told how to react . It was a severecase of it you can't beat them join them.PerhapsI should Join anegative gang . I will be ok mom thinks she knows people in high placesshe is not afraid lol
Peer pressure - 1-Apr-18 @ 11:32 PM
After a while I realised I was dealing with the highest level of witchcraft . After the apology so I picked up my bible . The society is riddled with witchcraft. Why the force apology and the very next daythey continued their antisocial behaviour. They were told that they should not apologised etc.Witchcraft is not only something from Africa its all around us look with your eyes see how people try to spread their negative around you continually . They do not feel happy and believe you are feeling hapoy. This is their way of hoping you will feel like then. I just got some new neighborsI do hope they are the kind with clean heart . All right thinking people like neighbors they could trust . AndI cansay a lot more. I hate ongoing confusionnot everyone like never ending confusion.Ifneighbors cannot get on how will hate ends . If law and order is not uphold who will trust who.Food for thought. Whsts wrong about writing the truth?Everyone is controlled maybe they really wanted peace who knows. When last you were allowed to useyour own mind freely ?You must have forgotton how good it feels to free your mind and useyour own mind freely. It's a healthy feeling. Give others mind a chance to decide themselves. It's only a matter of time before each of you victims realised what you are dealing with. These people are worshipping Satan and he like them so.If they try to be good Satan will wrestle with them. They can't take it. They does not know how to rebuke him but only how to do his work. Look around your environment any where you arefigure it out.
Wicked witch of D - 1-Apr-18 @ 11:22 PM
Pinky - Your Question:
My neighbour lady often interferes in my personal life.She keeps asking about my place of work, my age, my salary.If she comes to our house she goes inside our rooms, kitchen etc. Actually we have shifted newly so our house is a bit untidy and not segregated. So I heard recently that she keeps telling other neighbours about our house being untidy. But she takes help from us when being needed. I really hate her. I want to avoid her. But the problem is my mother who calls her inside our house whenever she sees her inspite of knowing about her. She tells me not to take it seriously and we should love our neighbours. But I want to avoid her completely. My mother will never understand. Pls give me some advice or tips.

Our Response:
We can't give you advice on how to completely avoid your neighbour as we try advocate a friendly and helpful approach as being the key to a successful relationship. You shouldn't however feel compelled to invite your neighbour into your home frequently if you don't want to. If your mother does this, then that's something you need to address with your mother.
ProblemNeighbours - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:14 PM
I have been told my neighborwas upset because she found out after a long enquiry by herself that my jeans was bought and paid for at Matalan stores . As crazy as it sounds I was still surprised to be told of this pure madness . I heard I smoke which I have never done in my life and that my GF is loud andmakes passes at my friends. Do you know anyone craxy as this?She is also inquing whether I work by night or from home. I feel violated and ask to respect people's privacy. The eye can't see so keep quiet . What the eye could see is everyone's business .
Princess Rumour - 25-Mar-18 @ 2:58 PM
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