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What to do if Neighbours are Spreading Rumours About you

By: Jeff Durham - Updated: 20 Oct 2018 | comments*Discuss
Dealing With Neighbour Rumours Coping

Unfortunately, we live in a world where gossip and rumour-mongering is prevalent throughout the whole of society. Often, it comes about as a result of the person who is spreading the rumours about you being very insecure, and may even be jealous or envious of you for whatever reason.

Try To Rise Above It

Firstly, although nobody enjoys being gossiped about, it’s important to realise that most gossip and any rumours that are spread about you will probably be pretty harmless. Wherever possible, you should try to keep a cool head and let it rise above you.

Much of the time, the person(s) who is spreading rumours are hoping that they can provoke you into some kind of retaliatory action so the more you can ignore them the better. Laugh things off if another neighbour approaches you with some gossip, and the likelihood is that they will lose interest, too. The rumour ‘spreader’ is more likely to start to feel that they're the one that other neighbours are starting to pity.

What if it Starts Becoming Malicious?

Although most gossip and rumours are pretty harmless, even if they can be a bit hurtful, sometimes they can start to get out of control and, before long, you can feel quite victimised, especially if the person spreading the rumours have been able to coerce other neighbours to ‘jump on board’. This can sometimes be very damaging to the mental health of the victim.

You might start feeling as though everyone is laughing at you or condemning you and this can lead to you feeling paranoid or suffer symptoms of anxiety and depression. If this happens, there is a real case of harassment taking place now and you are Protected By Law Against Harassment. You may wish to approach the police or, perhaps a better course of action would be to contact your local authority’s anti-social behaviour team, if they have one, and explain the issue to them.

Confronting the Rumour Monger

Before considering taking any of the actions above, it may well be worth contacting the rumour monger first to discuss the situation. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll end up becoming friends with them but sometimes rumours originate as a result of complete misunderstandings, so it might help to ask them why they have been spreading rumours about you and on what grounds are they basing their assumptions.

It’s also useful to tell the person how their actions have affected you, especially if there are no grounds for the rumours in the first place. Even if you don’t get the desired response, it may be worth asking your neighbour if they’d be prepared to Speak To A Mediator with you to help reach some kind of agreement.

Taking Legal Action

Unless the rumours can be proven to constitute some kind of harassment, taking the person to court is fraught with danger. Firstly, you’ll need to be able to provide proof that their comments are slanderous and have caused defamation to your character, and that’s often quite difficult to prove. Also, not only will legal action be costly, a defamation lawsuit may not necessarily result in any restoration of your character, and may even damage your reputation further.

Therefore, simply ignoring or laughing off rumours are usually the best way to go about dealing with them and people will soon get bored. However, if they do start to cause you harassment and make you feel that you’re being wrongly persecuted, then the threat of involving the police or actually involving them is perfectly acceptable under laws to deal with harassment.

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My neighbour is spreading malicious lies about me, including that I am being investigated by the police for stalking. I reported this to the police who sent a PCSO to speak to her - my neighbour lied that she had heard other people talking about me. The PCSO told me my neighbour was entitled to speak her opinion about me. I have told the police that no one is talking about me, my neighbour lied to protect herself. The police refuse to help.
West Ken - 20-Oct-18 @ 10:57 AM
I live in a flat in a nice quiet village until I had the neighbour from hell move under me .Spreading stupid rubbish lies about me things that are causing other neighbours to treat me in a horrible way .
Nessie - 17-Oct-18 @ 6:41 PM
My neighbor behind our house is Terra Bella irrigation district they lease out that property to a man that lets his cows die on the property behind us and does not pick them up unless told to do sothey have ababy calves out there and take in the mothersdead body away yesterday and left the calf to starvewe called the sheriff because the Humane Society wouldn’t come out I reported it to the property owner and he says that those are his friends and they can do what they want not his problem I feel that this is emotionallydistressing me and my family we fear for our lives the person leasing the property shot into our property and I almost hit my husband and try to scare us By intimidation tactics I know that’s illegal the officer never came to take the report now I’m afraid for my husband to go work on our ranch and I don’t like to be out there either without another person aroundI am in constant fear that something will happen to our livestock or one of my family members on the ranch we bought this house to enjoy it from day one they never gave us a chance they always caused a fight what can we do
Loni - 26-Sep-18 @ 2:33 PM
The neighbour where I live her father decided to fly tip in our back garden, small fence posts with concerate on the bottom plus other bits of wood, bits of bricks, grass, when I approached him he told me it was ours, I said to him your daughter has just had her fencing done and it’s her old fencing with terracotta paint on it, at this time our fence was painted green, I asked him to stop he did for a while, then the neighbor and mother came out hands on hips started mouthing it, I got back in my car were my 20 yrs old daughter was sat, I reversed back to get out of the private lane then he started throwing stuff back in the garden I drove back down and my car skidded on the grass ( no intention to hurt anyone) no where near her father, then he came around to my car window and started shouting how dare you, I said what!my daughter said my mum hasn’t done anything, my neighbor told her son to get her i pad she told her father to stand in front of the car where the bumper is and she took the picture, her mother told me I was trespassing in the lane I told her I have more right than you, anyway the neighbour called the police told them I was trespassing and I tried to knock her father down, the police came asked me what had gone on I told them my version he did say he had a look at the skid mark and just said be careful I told the police there was no intentions but I had to prove to the police I was not trespassing and had to show them our house deeds which they where happy withI just wanted him to stop fly tipping but they have caused trouble before over parking we’re I was told to park my car on my f...... drive and f... off back to where I came from by her ex husband, and he actually drew a line with his finger and said this is your part of the wall this is our part telling me not to park my car over the line!They don’t cause trouble when my husband is at home, I know she is talking about me because 2 of the neighbours who use to talk to me don’t, but they were slating my neighbour off anyway but I didn’t get involved in there dispute I haven’t spoke to my neighbour for 2 years but they have twisted things and tried to make me look bad, but I do believe in Karma!,
Honey - 18-Sep-18 @ 7:03 AM
One of my neighbours that I don't get on with said to me look at my own children. She said I and my friends got to be insane because of what we got involved in and believeswe want sombody to pray for us by the looks of what we are involved in as people with children..
Look at my children - 29-Aug-18 @ 4:56 PM
A neighbour keep planning evil against me like if they think they are the devil. And they are saying they are having fun. I pity them but at the same time is angry that they have no idea this is not what fun looks like and it's not laughable quite nornally. This shows Satan isa busy one and is keeping them busy To be honest I feel they should forget this jealousy , racism and hatred they openly displayed in bold and get on with their own lives. Focus on their priorities . I am fed up of their unwanted obsession and attention focusing on me. So we do not get on what's the big deal. In an ideal world you go your way and I go mine's. Just leave me alone Know when to stop. If you try to use me as an example you will look weak and like big bulliessince you bring in everyone else because it has already been revealed the housing is part of it. They all attacked me together . I feel so ashamed for them. This is low. They said they are having fun Wish they could really have fun doing something good and not evil.
Pissbuddies - 26-Aug-18 @ 10:59 PM
Maybe this is what having loads of fun looks like . Ongoing !!! racism non stop Not partying, not shopping,not genuine laughter Your confusion can't done Your heart is so heavy Lighten up
Good luck in life - 27-Jul-18 @ 5:03 PM
How does these type of people manage to convince others who you don't know or who don't know you to turn them against others. How do they get the guts to do it No wonder society is so sick? I really want these same people to write the answers of how you manage to put people one against the other and sleep so well. You are the true devil not the other you are pointing your finger at . I suppose you figure out what sick minds like yours like to hear. So you and the person can't see eye to eyeand everyone is you in your minds eye.One day you will talk to the wrong people who will ask you who are you talking about? That will be the day
Everyone is not you - 23-Jun-18 @ 11:02 PM
Yes gangs are usually very large But is it good?
Bad management - 15-Jun-18 @ 5:49 PM
The answer is that yourneighborbad spirit cannot stand your good spirit the bad spirits wants to dominate your good spirit in the name of the good spirit. So the bad spirit playing the good spirit is vexation to the good spirit So if allowed to weaken your goodspirit you good spiritcan't be freed. So what to do is a hard thing its called staying strong. Your complaint about yourneighbor is nil youwant to eat of forbidden fruit you can't your spirit is good dear . You are the good spirit so her spirit don't give with youher bad spirit. It will take you a long time to figure all this bad spirits are let lose around you causing vextation to yourgood spirit they are many that cause vextation to The only answerfor you is to try and stay strong. Can't you see God loves you. Conquering the lion of the tribe of Judah.
Your Version - 15-Jun-18 @ 5:30 PM
My partner and his daughter moved in to his sister house a week a go front the start the neighbors have done bad remarks from them his daughter as autism and as only just the past few month got the conference in going out last night was leaving my partners as the next door came out moaning to us that there live there and so does my about us having two cars next minute this other bloke came to the car and said I have a go at him and head butted him and damaged his nose he lost quite a lot of blood I rang police and never went to see the bloke she said she would be back today and not been yet they told the police that my partner had fell told them my partner had a go at them and he didn’t he always sees me of police didn’t he take a statement then this morning they been spreading rumours about him saying he causing trouble etc
Sarahamy - 9-Jun-18 @ 5:19 PM
They are playing with you they believe you are playing because you sneezed or even cough . Perhaps you are closing a window orthe radiator is expanding. They are told how to react . It was a severecase of it you can't beat them join them.PerhapsI should Join anegative gang . I will be ok mom thinks she knows people in high placesshe is not afraid lol
Peer pressure - 1-Apr-18 @ 11:32 PM
After a while I realised I was dealing with the highest level of witchcraft . After the apology so I picked up my bible . The society is riddled with witchcraft. Why the force apology and the very next daythey continued their antisocial behaviour. They were told that they should not apologised etc.Witchcraft is not only something from Africa its all around us look with your eyes see how people try to spread their negative around you continually . They do not feel happy and believe you are feeling hapoy. This is their way of hoping you will feel like then. I just got some new neighborsI do hope they are the kind with clean heart . All right thinking people like neighbors they could trust . AndI cansay a lot more. I hate ongoing confusionnot everyone like never ending confusion.Ifneighbors cannot get on how will hate ends . If law and order is not uphold who will trust who.Food for thought. Whsts wrong about writing the truth?Everyone is controlled maybe they really wanted peace who knows. When last you were allowed to useyour own mind freely ?You must have forgotton how good it feels to free your mind and useyour own mind freely. It's a healthy feeling. Give others mind a chance to decide themselves. It's only a matter of time before each of you victims realised what you are dealing with. These people are worshipping Satan and he like them so.If they try to be good Satan will wrestle with them. They can't take it. They does not know how to rebuke him but only how to do his work. Look around your environment any where you arefigure it out.
Wicked witch of D - 1-Apr-18 @ 11:22 PM
Pinky - Your Question:
My neighbour lady often interferes in my personal life.She keeps asking about my place of work, my age, my salary.If she comes to our house she goes inside our rooms, kitchen etc. Actually we have shifted newly so our house is a bit untidy and not segregated. So I heard recently that she keeps telling other neighbours about our house being untidy. But she takes help from us when being needed. I really hate her. I want to avoid her. But the problem is my mother who calls her inside our house whenever she sees her inspite of knowing about her. She tells me not to take it seriously and we should love our neighbours. But I want to avoid her completely. My mother will never understand. Pls give me some advice or tips.

Our Response:
We can't give you advice on how to completely avoid your neighbour as we try advocate a friendly and helpful approach as being the key to a successful relationship. You shouldn't however feel compelled to invite your neighbour into your home frequently if you don't want to. If your mother does this, then that's something you need to address with your mother.
ProblemNeighbours - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:14 PM
I have been told my neighborwas upset because she found out after a long enquiry by herself that my jeans was bought and paid for at Matalan stores . As crazy as it sounds I was still surprised to be told of this pure madness . I heard I smoke which I have never done in my life and that my GF is loud andmakes passes at my friends. Do you know anyone craxy as this?She is also inquing whether I work by night or from home. I feel violated and ask to respect people's privacy. The eye can't see so keep quiet . What the eye could see is everyone's business .
Princess Rumour - 25-Mar-18 @ 2:58 PM
My neighbour lady often interferes in my personal life. She keeps asking about my place of work, my age, my salary. If she comes to our house she goes inside our rooms, kitchen etc. Actually we have shifted newly so our house is a bit untidy and not segregated.So I heard recently that she keeps telling other neighbours about our house being untidy. But she takes help from us when being needed. I really hate her. I want to avoid her. But the problem is my mother who calls her inside our house whenever she sees her inspite of knowing about her. She tells me not to take it seriously and we should love our neighbours. But I want to avoid her completely. My mother will never understand. Pls give me some advice or tips.
Pinky - 24-Mar-18 @ 2:56 PM
My neighbor had been digging weeds out of my yard on several occasions without permission or prior discussion with me.She was also observed going through my mailbox which made me angry.I sent her a certified letter requesting that she stop these activities - in order to have documentation that I want her to stop.She is now angry which is understandable and spreading gossip about me to several neighbors in the area.I was angry when I sent the letter and admit that I should have spoken directly to her, but she could have spoken directly with me in the first place that she is upset I have some weeds in my yard.I have been using product to reduce the weeds which are not excessive, just typical for this time of year, and I do not understand why she is so upset about a few weeds.At this point, I do not know what to do going forward.Any advice would be appreciated.Thank you.
c - 21-Mar-18 @ 3:53 PM
If people keep troubling youthey are the mental ones they could be hearing banging that hasnothing to do with you.But will continue to believe every noise it's you even radiators expanding, after midnight, or you closing your windows they are mentally disturbed and believes you want to play a Game with them. They get up at night just to trouble you now this is insane . They are doing more damage to themselves than to you. The people setting them do not care about their well being either they help destroy them.This is not how fun is fun is to party, or shop,or have real joy that does not Involve hurtingothers . Why you have not confronted the police you have now started thinkingif they willnot stop they have the right of way sadly enough it will look that way right or wrong especially when it now comes down to very serious victimisationby the perpetrators .During the yearsreports of ripped open mails, keystealing from children,meddling in others livelihood ,witchcraft etcwillmake you start thinking whether you should report to the police or not? It can raise serious questionsnow on whether the perpetrators are covered.Perhapsyoujust have to wait for Karma since they respect nobodynot even the law obviously. They will be responsible for how their own children turn out if kids are involved in this .They don't believe in nothing this is why. Children are young and impressionable .I hope when the timecomes they remembers how they have treated others. People help shapetbeir children minds.
Poor little Penny - 2-Feb-18 @ 9:08 PM
I have had and still have some similar neighbors like you one of them thought I will report her because I knew certain things .She was jealous because I had a few acquaintance then she wanted to have a fight over a guy with some younger girls she was complaining to me, this is when the girls friend got upset and decided to lie to her telling her I don't like herson to get her off their backs for meddling with her then boyfriend . After that they ask her to be their friend since they decided to tell her they were her friend after going out with her boyfriend lol and lol again,they. Just wanted her off their back as she like as much confusion as they do. Putting their heads Together they were like Devils who made an oath so that things can turn around, can these people go to hell, making up Imaginary little boy and everything, what this people should realise some people are physic .The woman was pairing up people everything collapsedSR .....now she is asking to make up an imaginary child jumping same time fore day morning. How they so evil and mental,fake apologies and fake acceptance of your apologies tooIf you want fun go to a rave with friends or shoppingwith friends orask a foollonging to belongto walk to up the road with you after you take her boyfriend but just leave us alone in peace.Hear and play you don't hea because it's not your life.
Fake boy Child - 22-Jan-18 @ 5:43 PM
If you think you had enough oddly and strange enough these ones has stopped to the lowest year go year come.they have even given feed back on how many time I splash etc.I wonder what this life has come down to when human are allowed to listen to you in the bath get upset because you are enjoying a bath, rip open your mails, steal your driving licenceplus other things, get you fired from your job and still walk with their head up and expect you to walk with yoursdown after they have continued to Shane themselves and their kids , they are supposed to fake genuine apologies after ganging up on you and not giving you a chance to be yourself .Maybe they never had come across genuine people and this has blown their minds. Everyone have their life to live , you come quietly to pick up news to carry , you dictate other people's life. You tell them how to use their minds , you have taken their minds to the lowest level. Karma is yours for the taking, you have created it.But please stoptrying to drag others down with you Yourgot to remember your life is yours and their life is theirs.What are you with a certain limit?Why are youhitting yourself at a brick wall?Your fun is strange.Do you find this sickness in your head funny?For real?
Flowers - 22-Jan-18 @ 5:21 PM
One of my neighbors stole my tenancy agreement at the law centre . At the time I was so disorientatedwith lack of sleep I did not expectto see adishonest trouble maker likeher doing voluntarily work there . But I keep say how this look like the trouble maker next door Then she told me she do t know what I come here and do, knowing she is just a lay about , I then began to put two and two together and realise who it was and what had happened to my tenancy agreement I intend to go back to the Law centre about it. What a wicked thing to do, this is just one of the many wickedness she has achieved in her life.These are places to help peopleall people.
Donkeyface voluntee - 19-Jan-18 @ 7:42 PM
These people totally enjoy endlessly terrorizing others as I said make a chart of 0% to 100% they are forcing you to give them attention you do not want to give them. In this chart of zero to a hundred you can give 0% to them if they get 5% its unavoidable as you are human but never be their equal in being malicious or else it will look to them like you and them are on the same levelof spitefulness and this is their life. Having babies or children will make some of them more crazy because of the karma they have created for themselves.Nothing goes unpaid even when they feel they got away with it God's eyes is everywhere.
Worms child - 19-Jan-18 @ 1:31 PM
They keep laughing at me they say how I take the last woman on earth and she treats me like crap. My mother say get my straight and leave her. Is my mother set me up with her . What can I do?She also cuss my mother real loudbut my mother order me to bring flowers after this disrespect.I am afraid karma is folowing us because of my mothe wickedness she hate to live a good life and keeptrying to continually destroy other people.
You are not me - 19-Jan-18 @ 12:39 PM
There are people who will kill you if they make you their enemies or you no longer get on with them. They have tbeir own kind of friends who are not suppose to meddle with you. They can't get on with theireir lives therefore it becomes an obsession. They believe you are not suppose to have friends or even family or acquaintances this is how sick thesequality are . Instead of seeing it as we don't get on as simple as that. Theyblow everything out of proportion.That's life for some folks. While other will just simply say we don't get on there are some born trouble makers out there. And birds of a feather fliock together. This is life though . Just pray not to be evil like them.
The Last woman - 19-Jan-18 @ 12:30 PM
No let them come toyou if they know how to ,after all they have said and done they are suppose to approach you as they do not even care how their behaviour has affected you or the community this was their evil plan in the first place . If they have so much mind they will come because the victims are not to approach them or it will be another storyIf you know exactly!!! who some of the people are I feel you are not to approach them. Let them bring theirfake apologies as they are told to doso they can feel better. They need to feel better.
Holiday voodoo - 19-Jan-18 @ 12:20 PM
I don't like how the moderator jumble up my wordsifyou don'twant complains don't ask for the truth. I havehit the space bar each times . I suppose I am the bad one and the trouble maker .Just leave me alone or I will give them something to watch as I usually do.Dear enemies I have more for you to watch and turn crazyespecially to thevoodoo woman you can't make it with me. I am too strongtry the weaker ones.
Worms Child - 19-Jan-18 @ 11:48 AM
Thesepeopledescribedyou are not missinganything becauseyouhaving them as a friendtheyare mischievousandsneakyto youwhile youthinktheyare your friendandeven morespitefulas your enemies becausethis i swhothey are.They are very jealous and malicious . Theyknowswhat they areanditeats and tear up their Insides that theyarenot a person like youandwill neverbeaskind,natural, trueand kindbynature .This is aalso part of their jealousy towards you. Don'tbe alarmedjust continue to live your life Shakespeare:"Naturehasframedsome strange fellows in her time " I hadsome vpeoplewho apologised to me for their behaviour butitwas just for their plan B .Itwas not long again that I realised they are a rotton set without the freedom of their God given mindsetwhich is sad .There are people who will not say no if you bring your own mind to them for control by them.I can be just as bad if I choose to be. If you control your own mindset how much you feed into these sorts is upto you . You can blankthemout or give them anything from 0%to100%attention . If they get as little as 5 percentattention from you because itis unavoidable then you area winner because they simply hasbrought themselves to survive with your attention.The less attention you give themore unnecessary!!!noise they will make but EmptyVessels makes the most noise. Show these people you have very little or no interest in their lives if their behaviour is to hurtand destroythe communities. Some of them will be directed what to do as you continued to get on with your lives but dont be alarmed it will backfiresooner or later . Continue progressingsetbacksby them are just temporary as good will triumph !! over evil all the time. Happy 2018be courageous. Think positive keep a clean mind cleanliness is next to Godliness . HAVENO FEAR??
Worms child - 19-Jan-18 @ 11:18 AM
I had a neighbor similar . I was so glad when she was gone from the area even though they keep coming back only to createand look for more trouble to create in the said neighbourhood . She did not want us to progress.v Silly people who should be watching them keep on watching us.To them she is clever to me she is foolish , clever yes because of who she wants to do battle with,foolish to me because I got the common sense she wishes she had.I rebuke this family they are nothing to look at. Their behaviour is nothing that attracts a person like me unknowing to them. I am glad she left somehow.Why they keeps coming back when they should be ashamed to show their faces in the area it beats me, how brave or how crazy.They got what they deserves so many times for what they have done to others and more will come since they have more to pay for,after a calm will come a storm for the rest of their pretensive lives.They keep following me on social media asking questions sending inbox messages to my friends and going all crazyabout my life, my life is mines nothing to do with them, can somebody put them on the straight andnarrow , they only want to live where I live because they do not know how much I want to leave that area.They think if I live there they too deserve to be in the area, what I want is for these sort of folks to forget me completely and drop their obsession by seeking counselling and get on with their own lives, get a life a real life that does not involve thinking about me or anyone who is my family.Lord hear us Lord graciously hear us, I rebuke and cancel all their negative energy and bad wishI sew up all my clothes pocket so they can't sit inside my pocket to watch my whereabouts,sheand her son wasted five years planning against us and it always backfiring on them Regularly, which the physco think is funny. They could have graduated from a high learning institution during those years of planning how to make our lives a misery. Foolish pestilence get a real life,you will learn your own lessonone of these days,God eyes is everywhere when people think they get away with evil they don't, the wages of sin is death don't get it twisted
A walk on the darksi - 16-Jan-18 @ 9:26 PM
Hi, this is becoming more and more common in society. It's usually some person who has very little going on in their life that starts rumours. These people have very little intelligence and are mostly ignorant. It's the only way they can gain attention. There needs to be a law put into place to put a stop to this madness. It is driving people to suicide.
Donald - 5-Jan-18 @ 11:12 PM
I have this neighbor who is spreading lies about me all because I am mentally disabled. I wasn’t on the right medication two years ago and walked next door to her house and asked her for a cigarette. Two years later she befriends my best friend who is also my neighbor. Now that she is spreading lies to about three different neighbors. One of the lies is she told my ex friend that I walked to the other neighbors house askeing for pain pills when her husband died. I live with my mother and this could have caused some serious problems but luckily my good neighbor told her absolutely not. That she would know too if I would have walked over there because she has a house sitter. I don’t know what to do. I am wrought with anger. I want to yell across the lawn at her. I want to call the police on her. But I can’t make any waves Right now because I have something going on that I can’t allow any scandals jeapordize this. Hopefully this will all blow over but it’s new gossip so I don’t know. I’ve sought counseling through a priest.
None - 24-Dec-17 @ 4:41 AM
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