Home > Resolving Issues > Personal Issues: When Disputes Get Nasty

Personal Issues: When Disputes Get Nasty

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 15 Nov 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Dispute Harassment Gossip

Sometimes problems with the neighbours go beyond a bit of noise or mess, and the people around you can begin to make your life miserable. This can often start as a result of a previous disagreement, even over something relatively trivial which has been blown up out of all proportion. In some cases, it can blow up out of nowhere and you feel victimised for no reason.

Occasionally, you can even be the victim of discrimination. What ever the situation, personal problems with neighbours can be really unpleasant and take several different forms.

When your Neighbour Spreads Rumours

Gossiping neighbours have always been around, and often you won’t be the only target of the neighbourhood wagging tongues, so ignorance may well be the best option. If a neighbour is spreading persistent nasty or untrue rumours about you, and you find it intolerable, an approach to the offending gossip-monger might be in order. They might be mortified about upsetting you, or at least have the decency to be embarrassed about it. If not, you could Approach A Mediator to try to resolve whatever the issue is between you and your neighbour. In extreme cases, it’s possible to apply to a court for an injunction preventing them from making defamatory statements. This is a last resort though as it’s expensive and often a case of their word against yours.

Violence from your Neighbours

There’s never any excuse for violence, whether it’s an escalation of a dispute, comes out of the blue or is a result of discrimination. If you are a Victim Of A Physically Violent Attack From A Neighbour, you should report it to the police immediately. If a dispute escalates and turns into a fight, you may be able to take legal action against a neighbour if they actually assault you.

Harassment as a Result of Medical Problems

If you’re being harassed by a neighbour who has medical or psychological problems, it might not just be you who is being affected. It’s also worth treading carefully with a case like this – you don’t want to make things worse and you might be able to help them rather than jump in and start shouting about harassment. If they have a regular visitor, it could be worth having a chat with them about the behaviour, and asking if there’s anything they can do.

How to Deal with Personal Problems

In most cases, you don’t want to take legal action against an annoying neighbour; you just want them to stop harassing you or gossiping about you! This is what mediation is all about, a scheme where a neutral third party gets the people involved in a neighbourhood dispute to help to sort out the issues and find a solution. If there’s a community mediation service in your neighbourhood, approach them for advice, as it’s usually free.

Of course, this only works if the neighbours are willing to take part. If your neighbours aren’t willing to actually meet and discuss the problems rationally, a mediator can act as an intermediary and actually pass messages between you instead.

Involving the Authorities

If you are a victim of anti-social behaviour from a neighbour, the local authority can get involved, and you don’t have to be a tenant. They can apply for court orders preventing violent anti-social behaviour, nuisance and threats and may be able to evict the perpetrator(s) if the behaviour continues.

If you are being harassed or treated badly by neighbours due to your race, gender, disability, sexuality or your religion, your local authority has a legal responsibility to protect you.

Involving the Police

The police can take action over neighbours’ anti-social behaviour if they’ve committed a criminal offence. If you’ve been physically attacked, your property has been vandalised, or you’re being threatened, you should definitely Get The Police Involved. If you’re being targeted by discrimination, whether verbal or otherwise, you should also tell the police. The police have to deal with any complaints about anti-social behaviour that arises from discrimination of any kind.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
This is my story, i moved in this house nearly 7yrs now and i was befriended by one of the people that has made me a prisoner in my own house. I admitted stupidily i had mild disabiltys and couldnt work. I didnt know that both sets of neighbours who live either side of me are close family friends and have a history of victimising and bullying single vunerable women. I in beginning was a good neighbour, had them round for drinks and nibbles, even let out my garage free of charge and since i dont drive i offered them to use my car parking space. It started from the 1st night i moved in the couple on one side had violent fights, tnrew things at my wall, constant excessive noise all times day and night, music, DIY and rows. I thought befriending them would neutralize things, there were times i thought what they were doing were by mistake like pointing lights at my bedroom window and leaving them on all night, throwing rubbish in my garden, i know now that it was deliberate, and soo was befriending me soo they could find out my weaknesses. They in the end stole things, put barrages up on my parking space soo vistors of mine couldnt use it. Took total advantage for weakness my hospitality, destroying my property, terrorising me and my indoor cat at the window. Then targeted me outside and i cant go out anymore or do my own garden due to threatning behavior and terror. Ive lost all my friends as they intimdated them and frightened them all off. I have just applied to social services and one of their collegues wont work with me due to the intimdation and bullying of the neighbours. Ive gone to police, soliciotors who said it would take 5yrs to go to court and told me to drop it, i know cant get legal help, these neighbours have actually approached me violently and aggressively but cos they didnt physically manage to get to me police wont act. The council say not enough evidence either and now im agrophobic i have panic attacks, im oppressed and having a breakdown because theres no help or support from anywhere. I cant move on my own and all of us are house owners soo no tenancies, im at the end of my rope and i have no where to turn, i live in hell by neighbours from hell and i wish someone would help me as its im literally considering sucide now, only way to get justice, as it will all come out at my inquest and maybe then something can be done. If ANYONE from parliment reads this MORE NEEDS to be done for people like me and justice needs to be served against these vile evil perpertrators these people have DONE this before prior to me, a single woman on benefits with 3 kids, she got housed but i cant.
Steph - 15-Nov-19 @ 5:09 PM
Im being stalked and harassed by my neighbour. 9 years on and our landlord wont evict him,blaming me for not accepting mediation. Why would i mediate with a man that follows me,steals my property has threatened to kill my dogs,set his dog on me etc. You dont empower a bully by putting him in mediation situation with his victim. I cant afford to move plus i was here first. Social landlord is not looking after me at all,but empowering the stalker neighbour.
Poppy - 17-Oct-19 @ 7:03 PM
I feel for each and everyone of you....life is unbearable and there’s no-one to help.I’m afraidpeople have lost all sensibilities and are not accountable for their actions and no-one wants to get involved. I’m in a similar situation,I own my home...18 months ago a ‘delightful’ family moved in next door.Things seemed to be ok until the nice weather hit and they revealed their prolific drug use.I’ve tried talking to no avail....they delight in being vindictive.At a huge cost I’ve had to seal the adjacent walls under the floorboards,I’ve bought massive bamboos to form a screen in the garden and as for the authorities,why bother!The only remedy is to move but,in the meantime,I’ve been keeping a diary and once we’re away from the situation,I’ll be forwarding the detailed diary to the relevant authorities and they can do as they wish. If other neighbours are willing to testify,then you have a greater clout, as you’re not seen as a moaning neighbour. As I said to my son,I have plenty of patience and they will get what they deserve! I hope you all get a resolution to the disputes.
Spoonbill - 27-Aug-19 @ 8:16 PM
I feel for each and everyone of you....life is unbearable and there’s no-one to help.I’m afraidpeople have lost all sensibilities and are not accountable for their actions and no-one wants to get involved. I’m in a similar situation,I own my home...18 months ago a ‘delightful’ family moved in next door.Things seemed to be ok until the nice weather hit and they revealed their prolific drug use.I’ve tried talking to no avail....they delight in being vindictive.At a huge cost I’ve had to seal the adjacent walls under the floorboards,I’ve bought massive bamboos to form a screen in the garden and as for the authorities,why bother!The only remedy is to move but,in the meantime,I’ve been keeping a diary and once we’re away from the situation,I’ll be forwarding the detailed diary to the relevant authorities and they can do as they wish. If other neighbours are willing to testify,then you have a greater clout, as you’re not seen as a moaning neighbour. As I said to my son,I have plenty of patience and they will get what they deserve! I hope you all get a resolution to the disputes.
Spoonbill - 27-Aug-19 @ 11:41 AM
IV been getting abused and attacked for 7 years now by two of my neighbours IV been assaulted threatened they have been homophobic towards me damaged my property s. Come into my garden and attacked me smashed my garden furniture up threatened me with a crow bar threaten to fed me dog crap . Give me the Afician beating of my life they tried running me over twice and thrown glass and cat crap at my front door . They abuse me in the street shouting dedrogatry things saying I should be stoned and die for being gay that I am a freak of nature . That it's no surprise I'm an orphan being such a sick freak I make them wanna vomit. They poisoned my dog killing her they tried to do it again to my other dog .who ended up really sick .. IV been hit with fence post verbally and mentally abused by both neighbours ... they throw rocks over fence smashing my garden table they throw chunks of wood over with rusty nails in hitting my dog who's blind .. etc .. they have thrown water through my windows smashed my pictures on window sill ... I'm disabled and have to use wheel chair on occasion and the kids even take the Micky out of the fact I'm unable to walk properly and they shout abuse in street and the mother drops them on my drive every day from school n sits there laughing .,, The day after a visit from housing being told to stop it lol they erected a 16ft trampoline right up against fence so they can see into my lounge n throw things into my house and invade my privacy and when I go to sit in garden they throw things at me and abuse me .. IV reported to housing and police and they have done nothing .. I'm totally alone I feel like a prisoner in my home coz they threatened to batter me her husband has already pushed his way in my door putting his fist in my face n calling me a dirty gay sicko ..I have serious health issues including fits and I live alone and have no body supporting me ..
Sammie - 6-Aug-19 @ 2:05 PM
I have been havinbg constant harassment. Verbal and mental torcher from my neighbour since we bought this house ( 3 years ago ) My neighbourf just got back from holiday and the first thing they said to us was OH it was you that effing bought it was it? We were told by our solicitor that they had actually put a bid in for the house and it was not acepted because the owner had already acepted ours. That is when it all started. They hated the fact that we got the house and they didn't. We are not sure if they wanted to make there house bigger or there mummys boy of a son living next door to them again. So they have done alsorts including stalking my wife . Thumping on the door at ANY little noise we make. They have now built a concrvetory and we have lost privicy unless we build a breeze block wall 20 feet high or grow fast growing bushes / trees and not I am not joking. They have of late kept the spot light on all night in the back garden which shines off the glass on the new buliding straight onto our bedroom window.We have had enough now so are off to the local council with a diary of all events and photographs and CCTV footage of all the harassment and bullying and noise there dog constantly makes ( we have dogs but ours are not allowed to even breath without his permissiong ) We also know where this person works and have conttated his CEO. with copies of everything that has happened.and photos. Best way to hurt a bully is in there piocket. With a bit of luckhe will be sacked loose his private pension and his free healthcare. Thos of you having issues. Start a diary. Write EVERYTHING down gather as much evidance and go to your council.
Want to move - 29-Jul-19 @ 1:08 AM
I live next door to my elderly father but not longer speak to my siblings. A few days ago my sister was visiting my father and painted his side of my fence. I don’t have a problem with this. However, when I came home from work yesterday my husband had noticed that there is fence paint splatter over 2 of my patio doors, facia, glass, threshold step. Up the wall and even on the pole that hold a sky dish on the side of my ground floor extension. There is ABSOLUTELY no way this was an accident for the distance and height that the paint has travelled. I have txt her and received the usual abuse. Don’t want to involve my elderly father however I may have to claim on his house insurance. Is this a criminal act? Vandalism or anti social behaviour? I am beyond furious that she has caused so much damages to my property. The paint doesn’t even scratch or wash off and I am not willing to try chemicals on them. She also painted the concrete posts brown at the very top of the fence. She was clearly looking for a reaction from me which I haven’t really given her up to this point. Any advice is greatly appreciated as to how to proceed. Thanks in advance.
Toffee - 16-May-19 @ 8:07 AM
i have lived in this quiet street for ten years i knew the young lad a few doors away but never bothered with him i was going through bad time in life as washe he had lost his mam at 10yr old was brought us with a few sisters and his dad who passed when lad was 26 so i somehow ended up talking for hours we became good friends and for 4 year i tried helping him through his grief and giving him advice he often got angry smashed phones tvs his and a few of mine g never rang police i felt sorry for him being alone his sister's came and went couldn't put up with his kick offs then he moved as house was to big and he was on his own g thought once he moved i wouldn't see muchof him i didn't eventually but lately hehas started turning up late at night shouting swearing if i ignore door heis nasty with his mouth and stands for hours until i open door he isn't the same person i used to sit talking to if g tell him to go he shouts calling people who live in the street i dread him knocking and am unsure what to do about it because he has said he will make stuff up about everyone not that he would be believed but its unfair on the people who helped him as he lived in this street his whole life he is 28 and a tall lad some people will find him intimidating i never used to but i am unsure how he would act now who do i talk to ?
Nico - 26-Apr-19 @ 5:18 AM
June 2015 we moved into a new community, only a few residents living in homes at the time one being this crazy woman who immediately showed up at our home asking to help unpack our household goods? She did this with each and every new resident. Getting to know her, I knew pretty quickly she was off her rocker i.e. she invited me to bingo but said come over for dinner first so I did but when I got to her home she handed me a plate and sat me at the table then left to go outside with her husband? I was eating alone, then at bingo we set our cards up and she wanted to go outside and smoke so I went out with her and she got on the phone with a friend? So I went inside and waited (10-15 minutes) where bingo had already begun! Anyway this is an example and I’d told her about things she did that bothered me and she replied “we’re not friends anymore”, then it began the harassment. All the people she’d introduced me to know longer spoke to me? Her and her family spread rumors, would honk their vehicle horns in front of my home, specifically visit next door neighbors when some moved in to spy on me, for two years they blew their fireworks up on their cul de sac but then on an empty lot right in front of my home they got tons of people together and blew them up covering my property with rocks, mud, fireworks debris, the police said I could have made them clean it up or hired a company and billed them but I just cleaned it up myself. After that some time had gone by and she drove by my house and I’m a gardener so I’m outside all the time and she wanted to glare and for the FIRST time I lost it and started to yell at her and that’s it. Not long after the police show up at my home and I’m arrested for harassment and a no contact order served ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Long story short from September 2017-May 2018 court appearances and it was dismissed because she lied in her statement, purgers herself, I had tons of video footage (I have home surveillance) she failed to follow her own know contact order by standing at the end of my driveway and following me to shops! This angered her so much, she had even during the process gone to each and every neighbor to try and get them to go to court with her (told to me by my immediate next door neighbor), defamation of character. She is a serious narcissist. I also had at least a dozen character references from neighbors I’d lived near before as we are retired military. Then another unfortunate incident happens to me, I’m in a town of very scary people. I was at a restaurant and long story short I was assaulted by several store employees, somehow after I got away and called 911 I got arrested saying I hit someone, not the truth. I’m mortified, devastated. This is serious, so June 2018-March 2019 court hearings and thank goodness yesterday the judge said “nally” not prosecuting. But get this, ms. narcissism had been coming to the hearings (the one that did the no contact who feared for her life), when the verdict was said
Liana - 23-Mar-19 @ 4:16 PM
Hi I'm looking for any advice aboutneighbours as it's been 5 years and she and her friends are still going in for me and my family over instatant with her son and my son she as had my car done 4 time's keeps talking about me and my family in the street and keeps moving my bins and bangs on my Wells day and night and watching us come in and out of my house my husband as started to give it back as he had a enough from it now I feel like it's going to make worse ?????? x
Moo11 - 12-Mar-19 @ 12:36 PM
Age is also a protected characteristic. When will people get this?
Ness - 30-Dec-18 @ 7:56 AM
I’m caught between an environmental health dispute going on between my brother and his fiancé and their neighbours a Mormon couple with whom I get on well with. I do not know the full story, but from my relatives end they claim the neighbours plus the other neighbours in the street are now making snide comments and trying to victimise them after they made noise complaints about them to environmental health. I’m not disputing this, but I’ve not seen evidence of it either, if it’s the latter it sounds like tit for tat behaviour. I was unaware that my relatives had involved environmental health over noise concerns because I don’t take much to do with their business and the neighbours who obviously don’t have open communication with my brother discussed with me on the passing what was going on from their end and the letters they got etc from environmental health. I appreciate the communication because from what she said this whole thing seems to be a misunderstanding and I think they just wanted to get it out into the air because they don’t have that same level of communication with my brother and his fiancé as they are on edge not because they are looking to jeprodise the investigation or that. My opinion is that the noise is unintentional, but I’ve been careful not to discuss anything they have said about my brother or vice versa because the last thing I want is for it to jeprodise the findings of the environmental health on both parties because although I highly believe it’s unintentional there’s always that risk either party could engage in tit for tat behaviour and it soon becomes something else. All I’ve advised my relatives and the couples to do (as they both do not wish to mediate as its past the point of no return) is to follow the rules as set out in their letters, to call the police on each other if it gets out of hand (I’m not going to favour one party over the other) and that by law they will always have to be notified of steps in the investigation anyway so that way I can still resume being friendly to both parties without getting involved as I do not want to look like I’m playing each other off etc. Was this the right advice and what else should I look out for to ensure that my relatives and the neighbours don’t get themselves into trouble and keep themselves right?
Joanrae - 29-Apr-18 @ 2:26 AM
You are not alonewith the way you feel fj82 my neighbor has been taunting me for a few months now and I feel all of what you are feeling. I don't want to go out in my garden anymore incase she sees me, she has been pestering me for months on end, making up false allegations against me and there she is doing all of what she says we do. She pretends to be nice to my faceand behind my back she is a devil in disguise. She trys to get information from all angles about us. I think she might even be a witch to be honest, nasty women. God I can't wait until I never see her again.
Twistedneighbor - 28-Jan-18 @ 4:55 PM
fj82 - Your Question:
My story starts when I was 17. I was starting to go out to pubs and clubs with what I thought at the time were freinds, I met a local girl and we started seeing each other and on one drunken night out we got into an arguement about her seeing someone else and I said some nasty things as did she but without my knowledge the person she was seeing was standing close by and heard our arguement. The next day I was walking down the street when I was confronted by the person she was seeing along with his gang ordering me to go and apologize to her, I felt so intimidated and scared because im not a fighter and have a problem with confrontation I went home and didnt leave the house for 6 months thinking they would forget about me and leave me alone. When I did eventually go out I got badly beaten up by the person she was seeing, so once again I went back into hiding only this time I havent been able to go out of the house by myself for nearly 15 years im to scared to because the guy, his gang and thier freinds keep driving by my house everyday because it turns out he and the girl I was seeing are together. I cant get a job, a house or have a family because they have made me so paranoid, so depressed, so anxious, so stressed and so afraid I think even if I did manage to move away I know they would still track me down and hurt me. Ive got to the point were I cant take this anymore and im either going to have to kill myself or them, those I feel are the only 2 options I have left. I dont want to, I just want them to leave me alone.

Our Response:
Can you talk to the police about this? If there is a genuine threat from this person, they should be able to help you.
ProblemNeighbours - 9-Jan-18 @ 2:58 PM
My story starts when i was 17. I was starting to go out to pubs and clubs with what i thought at the time were freinds, i met a local girl and we started seeing each other and on one drunken night out we got into an arguement about her seeing someone else and i said some nasty things as did she but without my knowledge the person she was seeing was standing close by and heard our arguement. The next day i was walking down the street when i was confronted by the person she was seeing along with his gang ordering me to go and apologize to her, i felt so intimidated and scared because im not a fighter and have a problem with confrontation i went home and didnt leave the house for 6 months thinking they would forget about me and leave me alone. When i did eventually go out i got badly beaten up by the person she was seeing, so once again i went back into hiding only this time i havent been able to go out of the house by myself for nearly 15 years im to scared to because the guy, his gang and thier freinds keep driving by my house everyday because it turns out he and the girl i was seeing are together. I cant get a job, a house or have a family because they have made me so paranoid, so depressed, so anxious, so stressed and so afraid i think even if i did manage to move away i know they would still track me down and hurt me. Ive got to the point were i cant take this anymore and im either going to have to kill myself or them, those i feel are the only 2 options i have left. I dont want to, i just want them to leave me alone.
fj82 - 8-Jan-18 @ 4:26 PM
for 5-6 years we have lived in a council house and our neibours moved in with 5 kids into a small 3 bed council house , westarted getting banging noises against walls turns out playing darts until 3-4am in the mornings, kids banging on walls till early hrs, local council was involved as kids were out of control , wiping human waste from there bottoms outside my house , scrathing new car we worked hard for while mother is there, she split up with original partner who may i add was a smack head, and trouble causer, we went to council for some advice they told us to do daily diary of which we did, turns out 3 years of a diary they had lost them , told me i should have gotten a recipt to prove i gave them into local council utter joke, then council stated to put recording equipment in so we had that installed inbetween 2-3 years , they kept warning next door that they would be doing this, so what is the point in this as you might as well neibours are recording you, stupid law really, the point is to catch them doing wrong if not then fair enough,,so this continued for 2 years nearly.. and little incidents started to happen like car being scratched, nails in tyres to my car,, then people would pull over while i walked dog ,, ( yeah thats him ), threats to my daughter and son,, under age of 16, police told me to stop phoning in, as waisting police time,, so reported it to police complaints commision,, with the most pathetic excuse was sorry were under staffed,, i phoned 999 it took 16 minutes to even answer a 999 call as her mother threatened me with what looked like a knife at silly o clock in the morning, useless. then phoned 999 again as getting threats of violence, people driving past on my cctv with them with phones out of windows, in bmws and new flashy cars,, friends with local cab firm who are also involved passing info to them what time i leave the house, she plays this butter wouldnt melt. BS,, but evidence is building up on a daily basis, im keeping on with this as i know sooner or later one of them will make the mistake. as they seem to think i dont know where its all comming from , last week i confronted my neibour , her face told me everything i just knew the look on her face that it was her, her whole family are involved with drug dealers, the ASB team leader drinks with her sisters could be the reason she is not bothered and when audio recorder was installed they were quite everytime it was installed.. tells me all i need to know my neibour has some serious issues her sisters and brothers are involved in drugs, kids run wild, when there teenagers god help up,, council put them there , therefore there responsible so are the police ,, between council and police they keep passing the book , who is responsible for the issues, even had audio fitted, and can see people comming to house asking for drugs, from her brother , and even tried to ask my son for stuff unreal... sick of it but cant afford to move spent a fortune on this house so i c
humphries - 19-Nov-17 @ 8:28 PM
Reluctant to correspond with my neighbour any more as this may be construed asunwanted communications. Wish to mend fences between us but perhaps it is better now to leave things be.Matters have got nasty so I have no wish to provoke anything which may end up before a judge.I meant no malice towards her but did make silly comments from time to time which may have passed as harassment in her eyes. Other blogs cover similar matters and many comments advise staying away. Because my neighbour has a violent temper anyway, it is probably sound advice. We live directly opposite too, so maybe the best thing is to ignore and have nothing to do with each other.Neither smile or wave as these actions could cause trouble - the more you stir muck, the more it stinks.
Toosey - 22-Oct-17 @ 4:53 PM
Dee - Your Question:
When I moved in my sheltered bumgalow nearly 3 years ago. I thought myou neighbour was being helpful by helpingoing me but as soon as she was in my property she started screaming that if I didn't do what she wanted ASAP she would make my life a living he'll to which she has. She has a hate campaign going on towards me with other neighbourstuff which is understandable truths. HA are hopeless. Police run from her. This week I drew a line as she has started destroying my new fence. I have no trust in local police as Victim support said she is a manipulator and good actress. I've lost my savings due to her destroying my property and we believe she poisoned one of my cats. Tried poisoning my young dog and the list is endless. I'm a poorly lady living with disabilities. Apparently she did the same to the 94year old woman that lived here before me. Housing won't do a thing but told me to move? I cannot afford to a different just spent a fortune on fencing. Her friend on Facebook told her to take an axe to me. What do I do I cry most days as I feel I'm to frightened to go out because I don't know what I will see on my return home.

Our Response:
Have you tried Citizens' Advice? They may be able to direct you to some free/low cost legal advice. It might be worth contacting your MP or local councillor for help in taking further action especially if this person is making other neighbours' lives a misery as well.
ProblemNeighbours - 19-Jun-17 @ 12:10 PM
When I moved in my sheltered bumgalow nearly 3 years ago. I thought myou neighbour was being helpful by helpingoing me but as soon as she was in my property she started screaming that if I didn't do what she wanted ASAP she would make my life a living he'll to which she has.She has a hate campaign going on towards me with other neighbourstuff which is understandable truths. HA are hopeless. Police run from her. This week I drew a line as she has started destroying my new fence. I have no trust in local police as Victim support said she is a manipulator and good actress. I've lost my savings due to her destroying my property and we believe she poisoned one of my cats. Tried poisoning my young dog and the list is endless. I'm a poorly lady living with disabilities. Apparently she did the same to the 94year old woman that lived here before me. Housing won't do a thing but told me to move? I cannot afford to a different just spent a fortune on fencing. Her friend on Facebook told her to take an axe to me. What do I do I cry most days as I feel I'm to frightened to go out because I don't know what I will see on my return home.
Dee - 15-Jun-17 @ 5:33 PM
Hello I have lived in this housing association flat for the past twenty years and 18 years ago the bullying neighbour moved in. She has a family and grand children and great grandchildren all around most of the time. The adults all have criminal records and the women is a known police informer. A vindictive and nosey vicious women who watches from her first floor window. The language between her daughter - a drug dealer and her grandson who has been in and out of detention centres and prison is foul and degenerate. Because of the layout of the flats that are all very closely built and all very small, it is impossible for me to get to my front door and leave my flat for whatever reason without being watched. In the last seven years (and for many more years) this has also included being abused verbally with foul language. Oh I used to lend this women money and do errands for her even bake bread for her and do every thing I could in a neighbourly way to get on with her - why? because I thought that would be the best solution under the awful circumstances. When I stopped behaving like a poodle with this bully then she took the gloves off…that was ten years ago. The the lies started. But she then reported me to the DWP three times …even the man who interviewed me advised me to move from this flat. No charges were brought against me of course - there were no charges to bring. it is like living next door to the gestapo. I reported all of this to the police. I first reported her evil nasty narcissistic behaviour five years ago. She and her daughter have so far received two warnings from the landlord in the presence of police witness. Their behaviour obviously has not changedand they are not abiding by the terms of the agreement. The sheer nastiness continues…. Two years ago I created a garden for the enjoyment of all the neighbours here and I had permission from the landlord to do so. During Holy Week this year I got an email telling me I had twelve days to move my trees and shrubs out of the garden. That same week two friends of mine also died. I decided to give away some of my trees and shrubs to two neighbours but then thought having seriously compromised and thinned down the space that I was not going to move anything else. Neighbours were supportive and could not understand what on earth the problem was with creating something so beautiful. Everybody knew who was responsible for the complaint. After two housing officers showed up to see the cleared space and before three witness - i.e. three supportive neighbours, the garden was agreed and I have now in writing again permission at present stocking levels. Over the weekend I have learnt that the vindictive neighbour contacted the landlord immediately after their here to complain about the garden. And then she asked one of the supportive witnesses - "why has "kandinsky" still got the garden?" You would think that in the present time when there are so many p
kandinsky - 30-May-17 @ 9:05 AM
My neighbor dispute started 10 years ago when our new neighbors inadvertently placed a fence on our property. We paid to have the boundary resurveyed to be sure we were not midtaken about the line. Since then the wife has been openly hostile, paranoid and downright nasty. She refuses to see anyone's view but her own. She sent letter to me full of nonsense accusations and refused to accept a letter in response to these accusations. The letter has made me very nervous about her mental state. She states she wants no contact. I guess I will have no contact with any of them. Her letter was just so insulting and inappropriately hostile. As I stated, I am concerned about her stability
Annie - 12-Feb-17 @ 11:24 PM
Advice please ... Been in my property 20yrs and am the home owner. New Year's Eve 2016 having a small party myself my husband and my 13yr old daughter and her friend. No alcohol involved just planning a joyful night. At 6.30pm put the karaoke on at a reasonable level (video evidence of this) at 7.45 the neighbour knocks the door in my husbands face stating turn the music down as her 42 yr old partner wants to sleep as it's the 1yr anniversary of his fathers death. My husband is still inside my house and has not left the premises. We reasonably explain (no shouting just normal talking) that it's New Year's Eve. And she said "he wants to sleep". I then say "and" she then shouts I'm phoning the police and she storms off. (We all grieve at new year essentially me and they awful year I have had) Myself and my husband then both say to her together "go on then" as my husband shuts the door he said F@&" off. 2 mins later my door is being aggressively banged approximately 10 times we get up and as we approach the door the partner shouts"come on you c&£! Do you want some come on" at that he kicks and punches my door causing it to crack and split the wood. At no time did I open my door and shouted I'm phoning the police. His partner was shouting him to go back in the house and he went shouting "f£&king phone them" When the police came we explained the issue and the damage to my door which he took a poor photo of.he stated that it's new year and that we were entitled to party and the level of the music was ok. He did state that because my husband swore at her as she walked away it was an offence (I'm unsure of this as it was not shouted and inside my own property which we own) we explained that if we had been approached in a better manner he would not of swore and the officer agreed and said he understood. Now the officer went round to the neighbour who was flat out with drink and his partner was denying that he had caused damage and stated that the door bangs anyway. The officer has said it's mine and my husbands word against his and hers. But how can this be when he was heavily intoxicated and possibly won't remember what he has done. Please help as I'm at my wits end. We have never had issues with any of the neighbors and this is totally out of the blue. He has stated he is suffering with depression but where does my family come into this my daughter was distraught scared and could not sleep for the fear of him coming around again. Help and advice needed please..
Fed up Mel - 1-Jan-17 @ 10:50 AM
Hi I'm a married mum we have 6 young kids , we have been living in our house for nearly 3 yrs now , we were friends with our neighbors when we first moved in , after a yr an a half of living in our home we found out we were expecting our little girl m , not long after our neighbor found out they started with being nasty , first they called about our dogs barking , then they rang the rspca , then nasty name calling through facebook , then telling people rumors about us , then more nasty names through facebook , loud Music , power tools , to the point I removed myself off Facebook because things just got to much , now the nasty name calling has started again , I've been called a junkie oxygen thief , paranoid retard idiots , thief , a mental case an the list goes on of the nasty things I'm being called , she got her mum to give me the full death stare the other day an I was standing in my own yard holding my 6 month old baby , now I've gotten to the point of locking myself inside for good , as she put on Facebook I'm a constant problem for everyone , a toxic sink hole , now I'm to scared to leave my house because of her , I can't walk our kids to school with my hubby an I'm scared an worried that she will end up hurting my hhusband or worse my kids or I , the other thing is she makes out I'm a trouble makereven when imI'm sitting inside our home or not even home , when she sees us leaving home to go out she sticks her rude finger up , if she drives past us on a main road we get nasty name calling from her an the rude finger , I'm at my breaking point now an being that I'm pretty much inside 24/7 what can be done to help my family an I , we shouldn't have to live this way , please any help would be so greatly appreciated
cookie - 13-Nov-16 @ 10:45 AM
Hi I'm a married mum we have 6 young kids , we have been living in our house for nearly 3 yrs now , we were friends with our neighbors when we first moved in , after a yr an a half of living in our home we found out we were expecting our little girl m , not long after our neighbor found out they started with being nasty , first they called about our dogs barking , then they rang the rspca , then nasty name calling through facebook , then telling people rumors about us , then more nasty names through facebook , loud Music , power tools , to the point I removed myself off Facebook because things just got to much , now the nasty name calling has started again , I've been called a junkie oxygen thief , paranoid retard idiots , thief , a mental case an the list goes on of the nasty things I'm being called , she got her mum to give me the full death stare the other day an I was standing in my own yard holding my 6 month old baby , now I've gotten to the point of locking myself inside for good , as she put on Facebook I'm a constant problem for everyone , a toxic sink hole , now I'm to scared to leave my house because of her , I can't walk our kids to school with my hubby an I'm scared an worried that she will end up hurting my hhusband or worse my kids or I , the other thing is she makes out I'm a trouble makereven when imI'm sitting inside our home or not even home , when she sees us leaving home to go out she sticks her rude finger up , if she drives past us on a main road we get nasty name calling from her an the rude finger , I'm at my breaking point now an being that I'm pretty much inside 24/7 what can be done to help my family an I , we shouldn't have to live this way , please any help would be so greatly appreciated
cookie - 13-Nov-16 @ 10:41 AM
I am a 52 year old widow and have been beaten by men and spread untruths and have family that are police and intimidation.Too much to go into detail and feel like I have know solution. Please help
LA C - 2-Sep-16 @ 7:36 AM
Ever since i bought this house on 2010 my neighbour's wife is insulting us with vulgar laungage but never mention my name until last year december she started mentioning my name and shouting evry day when she is drunk she is jealous because i am working she said ithibk i am better she is embarasing me and gossiping with me with other neighbours i am sick and tired now and i t is depressing me because she low down my dignity i dont answer i just close my door but this thing is getting worse i tried to talk to her last year she continued until i call the police to warn her and after that i tried to be nice and greet her she just ignore me,yesterday she started again shouting saying she will beat me i am nothing she hates me and insult me with disgusting words infront of my son and i just closed my door but it hurts me a lot this time things that she was saying about me shouting while for the whole community today i told my husband andhe spoke to the commite and the commite schedule the time to talk to her and she was drinking and continue insulting that she with show the commite who is she please help she even not scared of the police what sholud i do i feel very small i cant eat feel embarrased to go out because people are laughing at me
mpumza - 27-Aug-16 @ 11:17 PM
I moved into my house just over a year ago and from day one its been hell. Neighbour complained cause i was putting pictures up on the walls then it was cause I was replacing a fence no were near there house . then they complained cause i painted my side of the fence .even said it wasnt the right colour. Then it continued with pettie things . they disliked my young grandchildren staying , disliked me sing my baby grandson to sleep. Disliked me hoovering before dinnertime . and it still goes on that am waiting to move away from them.My grand children dont like sleeping at my house no more as she bangs on the wall when they are playing . the abuse towards me from them is awful . every day its some it or nothing . they are not old infacted they are younger than myself ..... I moved to be near my family and these people didnt know nothing about me before hand. Council and police wont do nothing as its just pettie abuse.
Titch - 8-Jul-16 @ 11:24 PM
minwee - Your Question:
Neighbours moved in about 2004. We fell out over something petty in 2004 & they've harassed us ever since. Me & Hubby are disabled and they shout 'fat disabled bastard' at him. He has been hit with cricket bat, I've been attacked and dragged over my front fence and now they have attacked my daughter!! Police won't do anythng even tho we have CCTV footage and an independent witness!! 12 years of crap from this violent family is more than enough. I cannot go in my front garden or walk to the local shops. My daughter moved out of town to get away from them but they've tracked her down and stalk her!! She has a 2yr old child and they've attacked her in front of him. I don't want to get up in the mornings and if we go out, we don't want to come home. We have lived here 30yrs, why should we move? That was the Polices response. They want us to leave our home. We have had so much violence aimed at us and so many lies told about us - I really pray this family would just die!!

Our Response:
Maybe you should make a complaint to the IPPC if you feel the police have not supported you. These events certainly seem more of a police matter than anything else.
ProblemNeighbours - 8-Jul-16 @ 2:19 PM
Neighbours moved in about 2004. We fell out over something petty in 2004 & they've harassed us ever since. Me & Hubby are disabled and they shout 'fat disabled bastard' at him. He has been hit with cricket bat, I've been attacked and dragged over my front fence and now they have attacked my daughter!! Police won't do anythng even tho we have CCTVfootage and an independent witness!!12 years of crap from this violent family is more than enough. I cannot go in my front garden or walk to the local shops. My daughter moved out of town to get away from them but they've tracked her down and stalk her!! She has a 2yr old child and they've attacked her in front of him. I don't want to get up in the mornings and if we go out, we don't want to come home. We have lived here 30yrs, why should we move? That was the Polices response. They want us to leave our home. We have had so much violence aimed at us and so many lies told about us - I really pray this family would just die!!
minwee - 6-Jul-16 @ 5:36 PM
We live in a house converted into 2 flats. We are in the ground floor flat. There is a man upstairs that bashes on our roof to the extent that our whole house shakes. We have a 1 year old and 4 year old, bit he little girls. He says our children make to much noise and run around the house. They are 2 quiet little girls that just play with their toys and watch dvds. We are too scared to move incase he starts bashing things on our roof. He yells at me and has threatened to make my life a living hell.My kids are being affected by this all. We are to scared to breath so as not to upset him. It is a housing association but I'm not sure they can or will do anything that will help. It might make matters worse, not that it could get any worse. I can't live like this anymore.
Leanne - 27-May-16 @ 5:36 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments