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Personal Issues: When Disputes Get Nasty

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 10 Jan 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Dispute Harassment Gossip

Sometimes problems with the neighbours go beyond a bit of noise or mess, and the people around you can begin to make your life miserable. This can often start as a result of a previous disagreement, even over something relatively trivial which has been blown up out of all proportion. In some cases, it can blow up out of nowhere and you feel victimised for no reason.

Occasionally, you can even be the victim of discrimination. What ever the situation, personal problems with neighbours can be really unpleasant and take several different forms.

When your Neighbour Spreads Rumours

Gossiping neighbours have always been around, and often you won’t be the only target of the neighbourhood wagging tongues, so ignorance may well be the best option. If a neighbour is spreading persistent nasty or untrue rumours about you, and you find it intolerable, an approach to the offending gossip-monger might be in order. They might be mortified about upsetting you, or at least have the decency to be embarrassed about it. If not, you could Approach A Mediator to try to resolve whatever the issue is between you and your neighbour. In extreme cases, it’s possible to apply to a court for an injunction preventing them from making defamatory statements. This is a last resort though as it’s expensive and often a case of their word against yours.

Violence from your Neighbours

There’s never any excuse for violence, whether it’s an escalation of a dispute, comes out of the blue or is a result of discrimination. If you are a Victim Of A Physically Violent Attack From A Neighbour, you should report it to the police immediately. If a dispute escalates and turns into a fight, you may be able to take legal action against a neighbour if they actually assault you.

Harassment as a Result of Medical Problems

If you’re being harassed by a neighbour who has medical or psychological problems, it might not just be you who is being affected. It’s also worth treading carefully with a case like this – you don’t want to make things worse and you might be able to help them rather than jump in and start shouting about harassment. If they have a regular visitor, it could be worth having a chat with them about the behaviour, and asking if there’s anything they can do.

How to Deal with Personal Problems

In most cases, you don’t want to take legal action against an annoying neighbour; you just want them to stop harassing you or gossiping about you! This is what mediation is all about, a scheme where a neutral third party gets the people involved in a neighbourhood dispute to help to sort out the issues and find a solution. If there’s a community mediation service in your neighbourhood, approach them for advice, as it’s usually free.

Of course, this only works if the neighbours are willing to take part. If your neighbours aren’t willing to actually meet and discuss the problems rationally, a mediator can act as an intermediary and actually pass messages between you instead.

Involving the Authorities

If you are a victim of anti-social behaviour from a neighbour, the local authority can get involved, and you don’t have to be a tenant. They can apply for court orders preventing violent anti-social behaviour, nuisance and threats and may be able to evict the perpetrator(s) if the behaviour continues.

If you are being harassed or treated badly by neighbours due to your race, gender, disability, sexuality or your religion, your local authority has a legal responsibility to protect you.

Involving the Police

The police can take action over neighbours’ anti-social behaviour if they’ve committed a criminal offence. If you’ve been physically attacked, your property has been vandalised, or you’re being threatened, you should definitely Get The Police Involved. If you’re being targeted by discrimination, whether verbal or otherwise, you should also tell the police. The police have to deal with any complaints about anti-social behaviour that arises from discrimination of any kind.

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My neighbors both constantly smoke cigarettes. Then then they each sound like a t.b. Ward coughing and hacking.Now one in particular also smokes pot and seems to be sick all the time making himself gag as he walks by my apartment unit and I'm sick and tied of it, no pun intended. When I mentioned it to his wife one day that I appreciated it that he went around the corner to smoke and cough , well that was his que to make my life hell. That was several months ago and that's what I feel I get for trying to be polite.
Citizen Mom - 10-Jan-17 @ 2:18 PM
Advice please ... Been in my property 20yrs and am the home owner. New Year's Eve 2016 having a small party myself my husband and my 13yr old daughter and her friend. No alcohol involved just planning a joyful night. At 6.30pm put the karaoke on at a reasonable level (video evidence of this) at 7.45 the neighbour knocks the door in my husbands face stating turn the music down as her 42 yr old partner wants to sleep as it's the 1yr anniversary of his fathers death. My husband is still inside my house and has not left the premises. We reasonably explain (no shouting just normal talking) that it's New Year's Eve. And she said "he wants to sleep". I then say "and" she then shouts I'm phoning the police and she storms off. (We all grieve at new year essentially me and they awful year I have had) Myself and my husband then both say to her together "go on then" as my husband shuts the door he said F@&" off. 2 mins later my door is being aggressively banged approximately 10 times we get up and as we approach the door the partner shouts"come on you c&£! Do you want some come on" at that he kicks and punches my door causing it to crack and split the wood. At no time did I open my door and shouted I'm phoning the police. His partner was shouting him to go back in the house and he went shouting "f£&king phone them" When the police came we explained the issue and the damage to my door which he took a poor photo of.he stated that it's new year and that we were entitled to party and the level of the music was ok. He did state that because my husband swore at her as she walked away it was an offence (I'm unsure of this as it was not shouted and inside my own property which we own) we explained that if we had been approached in a better manner he would not of swore and the officer agreed and said he understood. Now the officer went round to the neighbour who was flat out with drink and his partner was denying that he had caused damage and stated that the door bangs anyway. The officer has said it's mine and my husbands word against his and hers. But how can this be when he was heavily intoxicated and possibly won't remember what he has done. Please help as I'm at my wits end. We have never had issues with any of the neighbors and this is totally out of the blue. He has stated he is suffering with depression but where does my family come into this my daughter was distraught scared and could not sleep for the fear of him coming around again. Help and advice needed please..
Fed up Mel - 1-Jan-17 @ 10:50 AM
Hi I'm a married mum we have 6 young kids , we have been living in our house for nearly 3 yrs now , we were friends with our neighbors when we first moved in , after a yr an a half of living in our home we found out we were expecting our little girl m , not long after our neighbor found out they started with being nasty , first they called about our dogs barking , then they rang the rspca , then nasty name calling through facebook , then telling people rumors about us , then more nasty names through facebook , loud Music , power tools , to the point I removed myself off Facebook because things just got to much , now the nasty name calling has started again , I've been called a junkie oxygen thief , paranoid retard idiots , thief , a mental case an the list goes on of the nasty things I'm being called , she got her mum to give me the full death stare the other day an I was standing in my own yard holding my 6 month old baby , now I've gotten to the point of locking myself inside for good , as she put on Facebook I'm a constant problem for everyone , a toxic sink hole , now I'm to scared to leave my house because of her , I can't walk our kids to school with my hubby an I'm scared an worried that she will end up hurting my hhusband or worse my kids or I , the other thing is she makes out I'm a trouble makereven when imI'm sitting inside our home or not even home , when she sees us leaving home to go out she sticks her rude finger up , if she drives past us on a main road we get nasty name calling from her an the rude finger , I'm at my breaking point now an being that I'm pretty much inside 24/7 what can be done to help my family an I , we shouldn't have to live this way , please any help would be so greatly appreciated
cookie - 13-Nov-16 @ 10:45 AM
Hi I'm a married mum we have 6 young kids , we have been living in our house for nearly 3 yrs now , we were friends with our neighbors when we first moved in , after a yr an a half of living in our home we found out we were expecting our little girl m , not long after our neighbor found out they started with being nasty , first they called about our dogs barking , then they rang the rspca , then nasty name calling through facebook , then telling people rumors about us , then more nasty names through facebook , loud Music , power tools , to the point I removed myself off Facebook because things just got to much , now the nasty name calling has started again , I've been called a junkie oxygen thief , paranoid retard idiots , thief , a mental case an the list goes on of the nasty things I'm being called , she got her mum to give me the full death stare the other day an I was standing in my own yard holding my 6 month old baby , now I've gotten to the point of locking myself inside for good , as she put on Facebook I'm a constant problem for everyone , a toxic sink hole , now I'm to scared to leave my house because of her , I can't walk our kids to school with my hubby an I'm scared an worried that she will end up hurting my hhusband or worse my kids or I , the other thing is she makes out I'm a trouble makereven when imI'm sitting inside our home or not even home , when she sees us leaving home to go out she sticks her rude finger up , if she drives past us on a main road we get nasty name calling from her an the rude finger , I'm at my breaking point now an being that I'm pretty much inside 24/7 what can be done to help my family an I , we shouldn't have to live this way , please any help would be so greatly appreciated
cookie - 13-Nov-16 @ 10:41 AM
I am a 52 year old widow and have been beaten by men and spread untruths and have family that are police and intimidation.Too much to go into detail and feel like I have know solution. Please help
LA C - 2-Sep-16 @ 7:36 AM
Ever since i bought this house on 2010 my neighbour's wife is insulting us with vulgar laungage but never mention my name until last year december she started mentioning my name and shouting evry day when she is drunk she is jealous because i am working she said ithibk i am better she is embarasing me and gossiping with me with other neighbours i am sick and tired now and i t is depressing me because she low down my dignity i dont answer i just close my door but this thing is getting worse i tried to talk to her last year she continued until i call the police to warn her and after that i tried to be nice and greet her she just ignore me,yesterday she started again shouting saying she will beat me i am nothing she hates me and insult me with disgusting words infront of my son and i just closed my door but it hurts me a lot this time things that she was saying about me shouting while for the whole community today i told my husband andhe spoke to the commite and the commite schedule the time to talk to her and she was drinking and continue insulting that she with show the commite who is she please help she even not scared of the police what sholud i do i feel very small i cant eat feel embarrased to go out because people are laughing at me
mpumza - 27-Aug-16 @ 11:17 PM
I moved into my house just over a year ago and from day one its been hell. Neighbour complained cause i was putting pictures up on the walls then it was cause I was replacing a fence no were near there house . then they complained cause i painted my side of the fence .even said it wasnt the right colour. Then it continued with pettie things . they disliked my young grandchildren staying , disliked me sing my baby grandson to sleep. Disliked me hoovering before dinnertime . and it still goes on that am waiting to move away from them.My grand children dont like sleeping at my house no more as she bangs on the wall when they are playing . the abuse towards me from them is awful . every day its some it or nothing . they are not old infacted they are younger than myself ..... I moved to be near my family and these people didnt know nothing about me before hand. Council and police wont do nothing as its just pettie abuse.
Titch - 8-Jul-16 @ 11:24 PM
minwee - Your Question:
Neighbours moved in about 2004. We fell out over something petty in 2004 & they've harassed us ever since. Me & Hubby are disabled and they shout 'fat disabled bastard' at him. He has been hit with cricket bat, I've been attacked and dragged over my front fence and now they have attacked my daughter!! Police won't do anythng even tho we have CCTV footage and an independent witness!! 12 years of crap from this violent family is more than enough. I cannot go in my front garden or walk to the local shops. My daughter moved out of town to get away from them but they've tracked her down and stalk her!! She has a 2yr old child and they've attacked her in front of him. I don't want to get up in the mornings and if we go out, we don't want to come home. We have lived here 30yrs, why should we move? That was the Polices response. They want us to leave our home. We have had so much violence aimed at us and so many lies told about us - I really pray this family would just die!!

Our Response:
Maybe you should make a complaint to the IPPC if you feel the police have not supported you. These events certainly seem more of a police matter than anything else.
ProblemNeighbours - 8-Jul-16 @ 2:19 PM
Neighbours moved in about 2004. We fell out over something petty in 2004 & they've harassed us ever since. Me & Hubby are disabled and they shout 'fat disabled bastard' at him. He has been hit with cricket bat, I've been attacked and dragged over my front fence and now they have attacked my daughter!! Police won't do anythng even tho we have CCTVfootage and an independent witness!!12 years of crap from this violent family is more than enough. I cannot go in my front garden or walk to the local shops. My daughter moved out of town to get away from them but they've tracked her down and stalk her!! She has a 2yr old child and they've attacked her in front of him. I don't want to get up in the mornings and if we go out, we don't want to come home. We have lived here 30yrs, why should we move? That was the Polices response. They want us to leave our home. We have had so much violence aimed at us and so many lies told about us - I really pray this family would just die!!
minwee - 6-Jul-16 @ 5:36 PM
We live in a house converted into 2 flats. We are in the ground floor flat. There is a man upstairs that bashes on our roof to the extent that our whole house shakes. We have a 1 year old and 4 year old, bit he little girls. He says our children make to much noise and run around the house. They are 2 quiet little girls that just play with their toys and watch dvds. We are too scared to move incase he starts bashing things on our roof. He yells at me and has threatened to make my life a living hell.My kids are being affected by this all. We are to scared to breath so as not to upset him. It is a housing association but I'm not sure they can or will do anything that will help. It might make matters worse, not that it could get any worse. I can't live like this anymore.
Leanne - 27-May-16 @ 5:36 PM
Harrased - Your Question:
In response to the question from Jaybee:I would like it noted that this is factually incorrect information provided.The couple in question have for many years harrassed and bullied the residents in this beautiful complex we live in, including the elderly residents she mentioned.She has failed to mention that the new residents 'gang' that are all responsible adults have decided that enough is enough and have stood up to their bullying and harrrassment of not only the residents but family members.The terrier which occasionally barks is trying to settle in to its new enviroment as moving to a new location has unsettled her. Everything is being done to settle her including having family members move in so that someone is with the dog, whence she is not left on her own everday. Even one of the neighbour's has a key to check on her.The residents are genuinely concerned about Jaybee's dog as it is left to roam the communual area and sits/lies in the driveway where cars regularly drive through. Many residents have trod in the dogs mess therefore it is not picked up straight away.The lease clearly states that only cars or motorcycles are to be parked in the allocated spaces which is why these issues have come to a head as Jaybee has had issues with this for many years and had not adhered to it.She and her husband have been very intimidating to the children of a resident and this has caused bad feeling along with other actions they have done against other residents who have evidence of this.We have not taken formal action as as adults we hoped she would back off but we would appreciate advice on how to resolve this matter. We are going to go to our solicitors to put a formal letter to them and the police have advised that if they do continue to intimidate and harrass us and family members then to contact them straight away. Is this the best route?

Our Response:
All posts are made anonymously with "nicknames" so the original post may not have related to you.
ProblemNeighbours - 16-May-16 @ 11:16 AM
In response to the question from Jaybee: I would like it noted that this is factually incorrect information provided. The couple in question have for many years harrassed and bullied the residents in this beautiful complex we live in, including the elderly residents she mentioned. She has failed to mention that the new residents 'gang' that are all responsible adults have decided that enough is enough and have stood up to their bullying and harrrassment of not only the residents but family members. The terrier which occasionally barks is trying to settle in to its new enviroment as moving to a new location has unsettled her. Everything is being done to settle her including having family members move in so that someone is with the dog, whence she is not left on her own everday. Even one of the neighbour's has a key to check on her. The residents are genuinely concerned about Jaybee's dog as it is left to roam the communual area and sits/lies in the driveway where cars regularly drive through. Many residents have trod in the dogs mess therefore it is not picked up straight away. The lease clearly states that only cars or motorcycles are to be parked in the allocated spaces which is why these issues have come to a head as Jaybee has had issues with this for many years and had not adhered to it. She and her husband have been very intimidating to the children of a resident and this has caused bad feeling along with other actions they have done against other residents who have evidence of this. We have not taken formal action as as adults we hoped she would back off but we would appreciate advice on how to resolve this matter. We are going to go to our solicitors to put a formal letter to them and the police have advised that if they do continue to intimidate and harrass us and family members then to contact them straight away. Is this the best route?
Harrased - 13-May-16 @ 9:47 AM
Jaybee - Your Question:
Ever since I asked a neighbour to try and stop his terrier dog from yapping all day whilst he & his wife were out at work (0700 - 1700), we have had nothing but problems with him.We live in a block of 7 flats, 4 of them are owned by relative newcomers and we gave been here for 9 years. My husband has a van which he parks outside our garage in our designated space. Our lovely neighbour has been through the lease with a tooth comb and says that the van has to go out on to the public road as the lease states that only a car" can be parked there. There is also a clause in the lease that states that animals should not cause any nuisance to ANY other resident.The newer residents have now become a little "gang". At our last residents meeting, they all complained about our dog, told us he had to be on a lead at all times in the car parking area and we must stop him fouling the communal area. We pick up after him every time if this happens. We were also told that we had to stick to a clause in the lease that says a light should be on from dusk to dawn outside every property. Our immediate neighbour never has his light on but, as he is part of the "gang", he gets away with it.I heard the offending dog yapping just as the people looking after it were going to get in to their car and drive off. I simply asked if the dog was OK being left like that (it can't be happy) and was told it would "settle down". It did.eventually.Once chummy heard about this, he came dun ranting and raving about how ee'd "picked on the wrong person" and that "it's personal" and we can expect a letter from his solicitor about the van. We haven't moved it because there are violationsome of the lease being made by other residents and nothing has been mentioned about them, and his dog continues to yap whenever it's left alone. I feel so sorry for the dog! Can we do anything about this vindictive behaviour? One of the remaining flats is empty due to a bereavement and the owner of the other flat has early onset dementia so we feel really helpless.

Our Response:
Does your neighbour have a dog too? Sorry it's not clear. It's perfectly fair to expect a dog to be on a lead in a car park area and to be taken to the toilet elsewhere. You can complain to the environmental health department about the dog that is left alone barking constantly. They may be able to serve an abatement notice. The van is issue is unfortunately one to do with your lease and the relevant parties would have to take legal action to decide whether the term "car" refers to vehicles in general etc. If you feel the neighbour is likely to become violent or feel very threatened by him, you could try reporting it to the police on a non-emergency number.
ProblemNeighbours - 9-May-16 @ 12:22 PM
Ever since I asked a neighbour to try and stop his terrier dog from yapping all day whilst he & his wife were out at work(0700 - 1700), we have had nothing but problems with him. We live in a block of 7 flats, 4 of them are owned by relative newcomers and we gave been here for 9 years. My husband has a van which he parks outside our garage in our designated space.Our lovely neighbour has been through the lease with a tooth comb and says that the van has to go out on to the public road as the lease states that only a car" can be parked there. There is also a clause in the lease that states that animals should not cause any nuisance to ANY other resident. The newer residents have now become a little "gang". At our last residents meeting, they all complained about our dog, told us he had to be on a lead at all times in the car parking area and we must stop him fouling the communal area. We pick up after him every time if this happens. We were also told that we had to stick to a clause in the lease that says a light should be on from dusk to dawn outside every property. Our immediate neighbour never has his light on but, as he is part of the "gang", he gets away with it. I heard the offending dog yapping just as the people looking after it were going to get in to their car and drive off. I simply asked if the dog was OK being left like that (it can't be happy) and was told it would "settle down". It did......eventually. Once chummy heard about this, he came dun ranting and raving about how ee'd "picked on the wrong person" and that "it's personal" and we can expect a letter from his solicitor about the van. We haven't moved it because there are violationsome of the lease being made by other residents and nothing has been mentioned about them, and his dog continues to yap whenever it's left alone. I feel so sorry for the dog! Can we do anything about this vindictive behaviour? One of the remaining flats is empty due to a bereavement and the owner of the other flat has early onset dementia so we feel really helpless.
Jaybee - 6-May-16 @ 3:53 PM
I have huge issue with my neighbour it started about 3 yrs ago she complained to the council about my dogs barking which is fair point. Since then it has been continual verbal harassment. The council have investigated several time and have found no grounds for the complaints every time there has been one I have took action and it controls the barking every dog has an off day. The last couple of years she continually shouts over the fence using disgusting language even in front of my one year old granddaughter. I have re homed 2 of my dogs just to put a stop to the harassment but this has made no difference I do not know what to do next
Kerry45 - 4-Apr-16 @ 6:20 PM
I have just ended the worst renting experiences of my life. The landlords (a couple) lived on an extension of the property and our garden was shared. They were also "managing" the property themselves. This was the worst decision of my entire life. It seemed to be fine in the beginning but gradually, the craziness started to emerge. When I was moving out, I rented a van to move my stuff and needed to park in front of the house to be able to move my furniture etc. They made sure to park their cars diagonally across that space so that I couldn't bring the van to an easily accessible place. They even called the van company and said that "someone" was blocking their driveway with one of their vans and they wanted it moved. After I moved out, they asked me to come back so that they could carry out an inventory inspection in the presence of their LAWYER. They were nitpicking about everything - even things like a tiny bit of wallpaper starting to crack at the base of one of the walls (on its own may I add) - as if I took a knife to it or something. As I was leaving, I shook hands with the lawyer to which the landlady remarked, "oh now you'll have to wash your hands". Can that be interpreted as a racist remark??? (She is white. I am not.) I would be inclined to think so as on one occasion I clearly recall her saying and I quote, "I can't believe it when I see white women on the streets with their "coloured" children. Why would they do that?" This whole ordeal has been so stressful that my depression and anxiety has really gone through the roof and I am just emotionally and mentally exhausted. I've been signed off work because of this and have been mostly lying in bed and feeling angry, sad and tearful. Is there anything I can do??? Oh and they also installed CCTV cameras in the (shared) garden and one in front of my front door without my consent. Is that even legal?
Wishy - 30-Mar-16 @ 8:45 AM
I've moved into a property aand been living here for only four months and have the neighbour from hell. I own 2 cats and when I moved house kept them in for about 12 days. On letting them out for the first time one of my cats got into a fight with the next door neighbours cat and this is how it all started. The women next door what a horrible nasty person honestly the day after the incident with my cats the door slamming started and I mean OCD with slamming them usually starts 9pm and continues until early hours at separate intervals and its that loud it makes me jump everytime and I'm getting no sleep whatsoever. One morning after 1am slamming the door and waking me up I went into my spare room in the house to use my computer as I was awake and iritable not knowing when the door slamming session was going to start again. On going into the spare room I went to shut the curtains only to see her outside by the side of my car if which she ducked down as she saw me. I didn't want a confrontation so carried on with what I was doing. In the morning feeling totally knackered I went to my car to go to work and one whole side of my car had been keyed. If only lived in my property 3weeks at the time. I've phoned the police waste of time but she phones them they then come out early hours again waking me up so infact using the police and nothing's happened. I've since found out the neighbour has a drink problem but I can't understand her behaviour as she's 57 yrs old!! All this over the cats getting in a scuffle. She still slams the doors heavily at night I can't take it anymore. I've not reacted and feel like I'm alone in dealing with this horrible vindictive person. Any advice would be welcome thanks
Sam Wilcox - 21-Oct-15 @ 11:48 PM
jellybeans - Your Question:
My parents have lived in their house for 47 years it bought and paid for and about 6 years ago an older couple moved in next door through the local housing association. My dad doesn't keep well he has Copd and has a disability courtesy space at the door. They immitate him breathing, curse and swear over the hedge, call them names, kill all their plants. The list is endless. We called the police who spoke to the housing association but that just fuels the fire. On one occasion the police went to their door and the neighbour slammed it in their face saying they didn't want to talk. My parents put up cc tv and have footage of the abuse and hand gestures both the police and housing association have this but refuse to budge. Neighbours now have a disabled parking bay but choose to use the one outside my parents and use the space outside their house for one of their two cars. This causes panic and fear in my dad as he cannot get into the house as he can't walk any distance. How do I proceed if the police and housing association won't help.? Writing a letter will not help.

Our Response:
If you cannot get any help from the police of the housing association you may have to resort to legal action.
ProblemNeighbours - 15-Oct-15 @ 11:37 AM
I have scumbag neighbours, my youngest daughter is Autistic, I was nothing but nice to these when they moved next to me, 2 years ago, after 6 weeks, they were screaming out the front, retard, mong these horrendous names were meant for my youngest daughter, The parents of these children were present when the abuse was being shouted, they laughed and were smoking a cigarette, it has made my depression worse, police did nothing, I wish these people and the brats they spawned would go away, my housing association suggested moving is, I have been there 19 years, I can't face waking up on the mornings, I dread every day
Tweetypie - 15-Oct-15 @ 8:45 AM
My parents have lived in their house for 47 years it bought and paid for and about 6 years ago an older couple moved in next door through the local housing association. My dad doesn't keep well he has Copd and has a disability courtesy space at the door.They immitate him breathing, curse and swear over the hedge,call them names,kill all their plants. The list is endless. We called the police who spoke to the housing association but that just fuels the fire. On one occasion the police went to their door and the neighbour slammed it in their face saying they didn't want to talk. My parents put up cc tv and have footage of the abuse and hand gestures both the police and housing association have this but refuse to budge. Neighbours now have a disabled parking bay but choose to use the one outside my parents and use the space outside their house for one of their two cars. This causes panic and fear in my dad as he cannot get into the house as he can't walk any distance.How do I proceed if the police andhousing association won't help...? Writing a letter will not help...
jellybeans - 14-Oct-15 @ 10:21 AM
Foxy - Your Question:
My dad has lived in his house for 55 years which he ownsand has a lovely garden he is 80 years old a good 80 my mum passed away in april my dad is always out in his garden keeping busy He has a girl and her son next door which she bought and moved in over a year ago the other day he was trimming away overgrown hedge which was growing onto my dad's side she came out and started shouted and swearing at him say what are you doing you stupid old f r you've no business touching that. My dad's just lost my mum and just wanting to keep his garden nice he is always helping others and would do anything for anybody what can I do x

Our Response:
He is perfectly entitled to trim back any growth on his side of the boundary. It may be worth letting this person know the impact of their poor manners and swearing. Firstly regarding the hedge, here is some informationthat will help. Write a note to the neighbour explaining that how your father has lost his wife, is very proud of his garden and just wants to keep it looking nice. Suggest that he has been hurt by her comments and her manner and ask if she'd mind being pleasant when next she sees him. Tell her you haven't told your father about the letter. Then leave it to the neighbour, if they've any feelings, they'll seek to make amends or at least not attack your father in this way.
ProblemNeighbours - 21-Sep-15 @ 10:09 AM
My dad has lived in his house for 55 yearswhich he ownsand has a lovely garden he is 80 years old a good 80 my mum passed away in april my dad is always out in his garden keeping busy He has a girl and herson next door which she bought and moved in over a year ago the other day he was trimming away overgrown hedge which was growing onto my dad's side she came out and startedshouted and swearing at him say what are you doing you stupid old fryou've no business touching that. My dad's just lost my mum and just wanting to keep his garden nice he is always helping others and would do anything for anybodywhat can I do x
Foxy - 18-Sep-15 @ 5:24 AM
My nightmare neighbour moved in last September.Right away a lot of barking and shouting started.We have two dogs that only really bark when someone is at the door but there 4 dogs bark and howl and they shout at them which makes it worce.My husband and I sleep in back bedroom upstairs but 2 of the nieghbours started coming out at about 12.30am each night and started making all sorts of noise wisks and shouting and of cause the dogs barking to.My husband has to be at work for 7.00 in the morning so we asked them to be a bit quieter.We got mouthfull of abuse from them but they were a bit less loud.A couple of days later the Mr of the family came to our door and accused us of blocking his kitchen drain. We tryed to be nice and unblocked the drain for them and the Mr apologised.Then they started blocking my husband motorbike in outside along the road where we live.So we took photos.Then they put CCTV cameras up pointing right into our conservatory.My husband asked them to move them and got futher abuse.So we phoned the police who came out and told them to move them which they did but moved them back.Again we informed the police.The neighbours told the police we were going on there property by jumping over there locked 5ft gate.Im disabled and cant jump 2 feet without help. Ive been sprayed with water while painting my fence sworn at theatened.There landlord gave them 4 weeks to go but changed his mind probablybecause they paid him more rent.We had mediation which lasted 3 days.We have spent money on CCTV equipment recording equipment alarms and repairing damage done by them in fits of rage. So now we have had the council in to record the constant barking and footage of them calling us names and we are taking the landlord to small claims court to get back the money we have had to spend because of these neighbours who are by all account mentally ill.The police are doing some kind of order to stop the harrisment after louds of calls E-mails and keeping months of diarys.The only advice I can give is you have the right to be safe and peacefull in your own homes unless you fight and keep trying you will not get any where. Inform the police the council your MP keep complaining. Stand up to your right to a normal life use your garden and ignore the strange behalvour wear sun glasses and pretend everything is great it works.
Campy - 13-Jul-15 @ 10:38 AM
I don't know what else I can do but I'm miserable living here and struggling to cope . I have constant noise from above banging shouting foot steps TV and music full blare it like its my TV etc on full blare . At the moment I haven't slept in five days I'm shattered and have 4 month old baby . I can't even sit in shared garden for break with the noise because next door is aggressive and threatening when ever he sees me . I can't sit in the garden I can't use the washing line without getting called every name under the sun and him shouting in my face to move its his ( it's not his it's shared ) housing does nothing but push it on to us . If I say about noise it well you have baby . My baby cries when they wake her up she's pretty much a angle and never cries . Plus all neighbours have told me they don't here us or her . I complain about next door then get told this has happened and I did it but don't even know what they are on about . Like he threatened me I complain then housing said something was thrown at his home I was pregnant and I'm disabled I can't throw anything . Everything is automatically our fault because we moved in last not they are making our lives hell . She threatens to throw us out for things that are nothing to do with us . Don't get me wrong I want to move but I can't get thrown out as won't get anywhere else . I just don't know what to do it's effecting my health mentally and physically
Lt - 9-Jul-15 @ 10:36 AM
@RS. If you cannot simply ignore it, why not try writing a note to your neighbours giving an account of what happened (in a non-vindictive way). Ask that they continue to be friends with both you and your other neighbour.
ProblemNeighbours - 6-Jul-15 @ 11:19 AM
I have lived here 3 years. About a year and a half ago,the person (female) lived upstairs and were friends for a while. She soon began to be abit much,coming round 7-8times a day,borrowing things,my partner even had to stop a boyfriend she broke up with attacking the front door of our flats! Eventually i fell out with her. Didnt speak at all. 8-months ago a family moved downstairs & my little family & I have gotten along with them well. About 2 weeks or so ago she started to speak to them and has got very pally. Thats when my neighbours all of a sudden started getting very strange with me. Wouldnt stop to talk anymore,gossiping and whispering below my balcony and deliberately avoiding me. Its obviously her saying things but i cant prove it. Its making me feel horrible,she is shutting me out and i feel constantly on edge as im being watched,gossiped and having noses looked down on. Im afraid to make a wrong move in case it adds to the fire. I had just started to enjoy living here (after 3 years) and she has ruined it for me. The family below aren't young! Parents in their 40's with nearly 2 grown children. I find it hurtful that they would believe it all & take her side. I really need help,dont know what to do
RS - 2-Jul-15 @ 12:34 AM
@disden. Surely the police do not follow up on these complaints? They will eventually be cautioned by the police for wasting time if it carries on.
ProblemNeighbours - 15-Jun-15 @ 10:33 AM
I am a single mum with three kids and we have a couple at the back of us that report my kids to the police only because my kids accidentlythrow toys over the fence but that got stopped a year agobut its no good by talking to them because all I get is verbal abuse how could I solve it
disden - 9-Jun-15 @ 4:49 PM
Only last week I had a knock at the door .It was the police saying my neighbour had made a complaint about me and my family saying that we were staring at her and banging the walls .I could not believe what I was hearing how dare she when actually she and her boyfriend are the ones doing the staring and as for banging the walls we have had to put up with months of banging every day continuous with his DIY attempts .I didn't realise the police came out for such stupid things .Also she said my daughter had TOUCHED her car I said what had been damaged since she thought it nesecary to contact the police over it .They said "no theres no damage she just said your daughter has touched her car " pathetic I said .It was different when her son used to play football out the front and kick his ball up the side of my car and run in and out of my garden fetching his ball ,but maybe she had forgotten about that .I told the police we had had words last year about the car touching thing cos that's when it happened and id said to her then whats your problem what have I done that makes you dislike me so much her reply was "You think youv got the best car and the best house in the street " I said "oh my god your jealous ". So now because iv got a jealous neighbour shes making stuff up about me to the police all because I don't stand on the gate post gossiping to all the neighbours and just keep myself to myself she don't like it .Also she told me to hurry up and move cos no one likes us .What do you you do when youv got this living next door to you ????
zigzagg - 28-May-15 @ 3:14 PM
My neighbours have been bullies since i moved in to my house. The first time she spoke to me she was gossipping about all the neighbours and dishing the dirt. Ive had nothing but petty issues happenning but when i applied for planning permission for an extension the issues got worse. Last night i went round to sort out why they kept throwing plastic bits on my drive and by my front door and over the fence, this is the first time i have ever tried to speak to them about their behaviour and i was met with insults and her husband flying at me red raced with fists raised but when he realised i was going nowhere he suddenly stopped in his tracks. my neighbours called the police on me saying I physically attacked her!!!Now im seen as the bad one. I now live in fear of them calling the police and making up more lies. I will now have to buy a security camera to protect my innocence which will wind them up. I cant win. Being nice got me nowhere.
tonkster - 4-Mar-15 @ 8:00 PM
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