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Hints and Tips on Dealing With Troublesome Neighbours

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 13 Jan 2022 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Dispute Problem Council

We all hope that our neighbours are going to be friendly and reasonable, but unfortunately some people just aren’t easy to get along with. While being tolerant is the key, there can be a point where tolerance is no longer an option and you really have to start dealing with any problems you’re having.

First Steps in Neighbour Disputes

Neighbourhood Disputes Are Common and it is always advisable to try the softly, softly approach first, instead of going in all guns blazing. Don’t approach a problem when you’ve had no sleep due to yours neighbours partying, or you’ve just found beer bottles thrown over your fence into your back garden.

1. A Gentle Request

Ask the offending neighbour if you can have a quiet word with them, and try to stay friendly. They may not have realised that you could hear so much, or that unruly children have been making a pest of themselves. Give them the benefit of the doubt and see if you can resolve any niggling issues without any bad feeling.

2. A Letter or Note

If you feel intimidated by your neighbour, you could always try writing a letter, rather than speaking to them face to face - Here are some templates we've produced to help you. Of course, some bad neighbours just don’t care what they do, and in this case you probably don’t want to inflame the situation, so you might want to try another tactic to deal with the problems. Don’t suffer in silence – there are avenues to go down for help.

3. Mediation/Involving Other People

Because problem neighbours are sadly a fact of life in many towns, there are dedicated Neighbour Conciliation and Mediation services now on offer, which aim to try to Mediate Between Neighbours who can’t reach an amicable solution to their issues.

You should be able to find your local service through your local council website or helpline.

4. Keep a Record of Everything

Once things have escalated to the point where you can’t resolve a dispute amicably, you need to start keeping evidence of why the neighbour’s behaviour is bad enough to warrant further action or mediation.

Make a note of every incident that bothers you – noise, mess, anti-social behaviour, and anything you think that should be included. Photographs, video, anything that proves your case will be useful – but be careful taking pictures of people as this could inflame the situation if you’re caught! If you write any letters, keep copies.

5. Environmental Health

Your first port of call is to Contact The Environmental Health Department of your local council. They will have policies and procedures in place to help you deal with problem neighbours, so ask what they are and whether you can see them.

You need to ask them if they will get involved on your behalf, and what you need to do to start action – all councils have slightly different ways of approaching the issue but they will all have some guidelines.

6. Legal Help with Problem Neighbours

Some house insurance policies include free legal advice services. so check your own policies to see whether you have access to any of these. They might be able to give you some good advice on the next steps if council intervention is getting you nowhere.

It might also be worthwhile trying to get a fixed fee legal appointment with a local solicitor, to see if they can help you by writing a letter to your neighbour. This is a last resort though – legal letters do have a way of inflaming already tense situations. Don’t start legal action unless you really have exhausted all other options.

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I have recently moved into this home in Huddersfield and my neighbour behind me is one of the rudest in the world. She bangs on the walls if we even close our bathroom door when we cant close it any quieter. She yells through the walls and has never once been polite about it. Just today (13/1/2022) she yelled through the walls for my mother closing the bathroom door and she had to go because she was feeling really sick. I am still in college and cannot move out or even get a house of my own. So sadly i am stuck here until I am able to move. My mother has notified our Landlady on a number of time regarding the lady who is causing these noises. We seriously cannot do anything to be "quieter" as we are not making noise to disturb her or even anyone else. My other neighbours have a baby that cries and im not a person that has ever went to a neighbour and asked them to keep it down, This baby cries and i dont pay much attention to it as I know it will not cry for long, i wear headphones to drown out the noise and it works. But if you ever consider moving to the UK.... Then choose an area with no neighbours or don't completely, its not the best of places.
I've been bothered - 13-Jan-22 @ 10:47 PM
I have recently moved into this home in Huddersfield and my neighbour behind me is one of the rudest in the world. She bangs on the walls if we even close our bathroom door when we cant close it any quieter. She yells through the walls and has never once been polite about it. Just today (13/1/2022) she yelled through the walls for my mother closing the bathroom door and she had to go because she was feeling really sick. I am still in college and cannot move out or even get a house of my own. So sadly i am stuck here until I am able to move. My mother has notified our Landlady on a number of time regarding the lady who is causing these noises. We seriously cannot do anything to be "quieter" as we are not making noise to disturb her or even anyone else. My other neighbours have a baby that cries and im not a person that has ever went to a neighbour and asked them to keep it down, This baby cries and i dont pay much attention to it as I know it will not cry for long, i wear headphones to drown out the noise and it works. But if you ever consider moving to the UK.... Then choose an area with no neighbours or don't completely, its not the best of places.
I've been bothered - 13-Jan-22 @ 10:47 PM
We have had nothing but hassel for over 4 years since my old neighbours of 20 years died I found him a restaurant manger bought the house great we thought no it was turned into a cannabis farm I'm ill person and hubby worked men walking Iyour loft that got shut down then 18 migrants moving in with more moving in back landlord was fine about it all ,we got slandered threatening us then we have Indonesia family who think it's great.move mattress in people on 6 month visas who seem to have nothing next their got job money we did all the council stuff this property is making me so ill that's it now coming between me and hubby and our home bang doors covid party's being childminder which ofstead did go I'm and now she picks her noses eats it kids look ill and works with your frozen food cash in hand benefit scams and the landlord don't care and now council.dont see bothered we and three other house holds are all effected by the one family no taking to them and I just want to give her slap this is how it's pushed my mental health I can't sleep and have to cope with an ongoing health problems so 8 feel anyone pain I'm not racist but they just don't want to listen or I'm sorry if you sorry why the bloody he'll don't you understand this make get took down but I had to rant sick of it
Kenabs - 5-Jan-22 @ 3:49 PM
My neighbours are Polish and live like tramps! Their horrible children are always shouting and leaving rubbish in the shared hallway and they throw their rubbish everywhere in the street outside their front door outside the back communal garden! The amount of rubbish is insane! And they walk right past it. They never pick up their dog crap It is down right disgusting! Always fly tipping in the garden and nothing gets done about it !! Sick to death of them
Ellerep - 31-Dec-21 @ 1:47 PM
I've always had a/hole neighbours . If you can afford to move do it honestly the council won't help they will fob you off . The police unless you are threatened won't get involved either.It's so sad that nice decent neighbours have to deal with selfish people who think we all have to listen to them, their dogs, music, singing. Now one offs I understand I'm on about the ones that constantly make noise and causing so much stress to decent people who expect their home to be their sanctuary. Luckily I moved to a detached most neighbours are lovely but ones opposite wow I'm glad I don't share their wall. So believe me they are everywhere ! New laws should come in as it does affect your mental health esp at a time like now where we will be at home more.
Raquel - 21-Dec-21 @ 8:28 PM
Can't take anymore from next door. My wife and I are at the end. They have broken covid. They said police said we were malious denied by police They said council allowed a gathering new years eve 2020 denied by the council. December 2021 Saturday 11th until Sunday 12 until 6am they partied and they bang doors day and night .We want to move so far away from this situation.Nobody cares
Mono - 20-Dec-21 @ 9:27 PM
Really bad neighbours for last 2 years, evidence always obtained. Council and ASBO team no help, police and fire brigade have been involved. Last incident we was woken up at 4am with the stench of petrol in our home. Police and fire brigade was called, neighbour had spilt but was also found to have further large can of petrol in his shed very close to our property. Council was informed but don't know outcome of this but since this incident male had neighbour is continuing to play games on TV with surround sound till early hours of the morning which means our walls are vibrating and sleep is difficult. Anyone with any suggestions ?
D - 19-Dec-21 @ 12:40 AM
I have lived in a apartment complex for 3 years I moved in in 2020 in the front complex I had an apartment fire unfortunately lost half my stuff and has to relocate to another place. Then 6 months later I moved back to the same complex i live at when I was a young child. I have been having problems with a neighbor above me always fights and arguing with her daughter slamming things on purpose walking very heavy cracking my ceiling I've complained to the office numerous times they have sent out warning letters to her I've called the police and nothing seems to work she is rude and inconsiderate I have a job and I gotta have sleep living in a apartment is hard I'm from delaware and living in apartments the rules is no loud music or noise past ten at night kids are running in and out of the apartment buildings people have stolen things I've ordered off my door steps I can't take anymore after my lease is up this year I'm gone this needs to stop.
Ash - 20-Oct-21 @ 3:22 AM
My neighbour put a 11 foot ramp up on mt party wall just for spite as no one speaks to her in the culdesac,I ordered some fencing to cover the ramp as she can see in my room when she stands on it.when workmen come she was shouting and screaming as she doesn't want it up,she started all this it's like she gives but not takes,she has now thrown rubbish over fence just like a child would.shes a evil person who goes round opening gates to those who have dogs hoping they get run over.rubber bus will be coming for her soon
Marmite - 6-Oct-21 @ 9:47 PM
Me and my partner have lived in a massonete For 3 years were on 2nd floor The neighbour underneath keeps coming out he’s front door intimidating us sucking he’s teeth We’ve done nothing wrong we’re both scared To walk past he’s door
Wazza - 3-Oct-21 @ 4:30 PM
I have seriously had enough with my neighbour. They are from Portugal and NEVER stops having BBQ in the rain, snow - whatever the weather condition throughout the year, just literally ALL the time:( They dont care to block my driveway, throw rubbish in front of my garden porch, their horrible kids (2 young boys) scream maniac in the garden all the time. We cannot stay outside and once we have, they kicked a ball into our garden - no apologies but when I refused to return the ball without their apologies, they started shouting&swearing at us. I am a single mother and my kids were freaked out when the man climbed at the fence and shouted at my son. I have never been to Portugal but dont they have any manners? Any common sense? Why they are so self-centred and only care about their lifestyle??? I have contacted the local council several times but no help at all. Cannot afford to move the house - devastated.
Enough is enough - 13-Sep-21 @ 5:04 PM
Environmental health DO NOT intervene. Over 100 attempts to get them to actand nothing.
had it - 21-Aug-21 @ 12:25 PM
i have bad neighbours for over 10 years and i feel i am not getting any assistance wee have a cafe near us and they send people to my car my car has been smashed from one end to another my wife and i can t take anymore what must wee do
cuddles - 18-Aug-21 @ 10:15 AM
I have a neighbor who lives across the alley who accusing us if placing bowls of cat food in the alley by their house. This is not true. They are taking empty bowls and putting them in our mailbox and in front b of our door. I explained that the cat food is not from us yet they still harass us.What can be done to get them to stop
none - 21-Jul-21 @ 11:53 PM
I am being harassed and intimidated by 3 households in my flats The landlord is aware I have been given log sheets to fill in ! I am scared some timesto even walk out side my own front door Nasty spiteful comments and small gatherings of them making life unbearable for me I have lived in my flat for over 30 years these people not long I cannot afford to move out HELP
Tiny - 1-Jul-21 @ 4:28 AM
Tulip333 try your safer neighbourhood team either through the police or council. Police are better if it's malicious noise and harassment. The quickest way is to see a solicitor and get help that way down the private route as environmental health take forever if at all to do anything. Failing all that, the only other option is to move and choose carefully, do your research where you move.
Pix - 24-Jun-21 @ 4:58 PM
Hello out there , are there any support groups that can help me please . I have done 70 phone calls , endless emails to noise people , envirimental heath etc . They my neighbours are purposely doing noise , like a machine with differentsounds. Any ideas anyone. I am going mental .
Tulip333 - 24-Jun-21 @ 10:14 AM
I have a neighbour who has installed a surveilance camera. I am not sure if they got permission from the realtor they have devulged this I have asked but have not been given an answer. Before this happened my umbrella was blown into the properties driveway. They came out of the appartment and deliberately ran over it. I went next door proceeded to take a photo of the crushed item. The door to property opened and I said you ran over my umbrella he I don't know what you are talking about. I heard you do it he then picked his phone and filmed. Now he is telling the agent I have visited the property on numerous occasions and the children are scared. His wife works as a manager in child care they are not her children go figure that out. The agent has sided with him as he has one piece of evidence against me. I have lived in my property for close to 23 years never had a problem with the neighbours. The umbrella turned up in my backyard three days later after being put in his bin after being destroyed by his car. This was Sunday just gone . Monday being Queens birthday weekend the security camera was being put up as came out to have my morning coffee and cigarettes. I feel like I am the victim but I am being looked at buy the agent as the trouble maker as I have been videoed once not the multiple times he is claiming that I have been to the property. The agent keeps asking me to give her evidence against him but hasn't requested to see any evidence that I have been to the property multiple times.
Blue - 18-Jun-21 @ 11:18 AM
We have been living at our property for over 30yrs and I have always got on with our neighbours mostly but we have had a lady living couple doors down she has been living there before we came to the street but she has never been neighbourly to us as a matter of fact she has gone about talking us bad to other neighbours making serious allegations against us which is untrue and damaging i loss my father 6months ago to COVID and now finding that this same neighbour has been telling other. Neighbours that we are racist very serious allegations with no evidence or prioof of this not to mention liesand untrue we are from Caribbean background my both parents and myself was born in the Caribbean so to find this out was damaging and shocking these kind of things should never be allowed to happen not to mention people like her should be held accountable for those vicious accusations and needs to be stopped.
Mk - 17-Jun-21 @ 5:09 PM
Landlord next to our house has just let to a DSS tenant for the first time. I’m sorry to say, she and her idle boyfriend have done nothing to challenge the stereotype that benefits claimants are lazy scumbags who would be better off in a Victorian workhouse (at least they’d be making use of themselves). Constant noise, day or night. Neglectful of the current only child. I’m hoping they have another so the council move them on…it’s only a 2 bed semi. The amount they shag, it doesn’t seem unfeasible. In the interim though they have made living here unbearable. We have cancelled plans to extend the house and will be looking to move next year.
AnnoyedNeighbour - 8-Jun-21 @ 12:52 AM
I have been living here for five years, and this couple just moved in a year ago. Things have turned into a nightmare.At first, I noticed they copycat everything I do.When I put fall season decoration at my front door, then neighbor buys the same stuff I had; I had Halloween decoration and pumpkins craved from my kids and put on the front doorsteps. The next day, the neighbors did the same thing I did, again with Christmas decoration, even bought some wreaths at my house. It became annoying for them to copy everything I do. Also, they copy everything we do in our yard. If I work on my landscaping, then the next day, they copied what I did. They don’t introduce themselves to the neighbors, not even say friendly hi at all. They stayed home 24/7 all day and didn’t interact with a neighbor or even offer help. I caught them watched us through their windows. I caught the guy stared at me the whole time when I was mowed in our backyard and gave me creeps. Also caught, the woman walks over to our backyard to take a look at what we have. It’s none of their business. Recently, we had an Easter egg hunt for my little toddler for fun. They did the same thing, but the kid is 11 years old. I don’t think 11-12 yrs old wanted to have Easter Egg hunts in their yard. Things got worse; when I was working outside and painting the house, this woman came out of the blue, looked angry, and refused eye contact, so I just ignored her.She walked into the house and slammed the door, and shut the curtains. My husband and I were like, what’s her problem. The following next day, I came home from work; this guy gave the creepiest look at me while I back up my car to my driveway. I tried to ignore him.He kept staring at me in a bad way until my husband came out from the house, then the neighbor guy looked it away.Then he started to harass me every time I go outside to get my mail or do yard work in the front of the house; he comes out and watches me. I don’t feel safe around them when they are home. It appears that he knows when I go out, then he comes out too. I caught the kid tom peeping through the window blinds while we are outside. We had put fences around our backyard to protect ourselves and wanted privacy as well. I stopped doing the yard work because of him. He would walk and watched me what I do. I told my husband I could not do the yard work or get mail because of him. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t feel safe around them while I am home alone. It seems they don’t get the message. I just wanted to the left alone and have privacy and peace at home.
M - 7-May-21 @ 11:16 PM
My neighbour was very nice until she settled in and after that she has been a nightmare ,throwing eggs at windows putting a scruffy parasol next to my wall even if it's raining ,we all nickname her village idiot even though we live in a cul- Dec-sac with only six bungalows,she has only moved 6 houses away and I wondered why she asked me not to tell her neighbours she was moving. After she moved her old neighbours said you'll be sorry she moved next to you as they had 30years of her behaviour ,you can be sat in garden and all of a sudden a pan of water will be slung over fence. I've been in touch with antisocial behaviour people and it goes quiet for 2 weeks then starts again like picking rubbish up in street and cleaning guttering out and throws it all over my garden late at night.
Smileyiley - 4-May-21 @ 9:37 PM
We are from the UK.Opposite us are two dirty rapist Muslims who have had the police going back and fourth all the time.The police chopped one of the fingers off a man a few doors up which made the news and mostly every house in the street has dogs barking.The thing the pisses me off the most thought are the old bags moaning about the smell of cannabis.I have legal CBD bud that I order online and have smoked for 10 years here and now we have some old has been uneducated imbecile reporting us for smoking drugs.We have had the police here multiple times, shown them the CBD weed and they just tell us to try and keep the smell down.Why the hell are people so against the amazing smell of cbd cannabis? They moan about the smell of drugs while taking in little girls and praying to Allah, I don't understand what is going on in my street.I feel like I need to order a gun or some sort of defensive weapon to protect myself from these lunatics.
DadOnTheEdge - 29-Apr-21 @ 10:42 AM
I'm trying my best not to kill my neighbour, but just cannot stop hoping the family vanish from this estate forever. No day off with their f***smoke and kids are maniac screaming all evening everyday. REAL HELL.
Pissed - 21-Apr-21 @ 8:40 PM
Hi i need some advice on handling a strange situation .My naighbour a female living below me i believe has mental health problems . She cries contantly in her flat ( the walls are thin) and for some reason is always there where i go i feel like im being stalked by her .Shes plesant enough but knocks on my door asking how i am strange things like that . What should i do about it ???
Sparky - 31-Mar-21 @ 8:03 AM
I'm at the end of my tether.. Some how some electrical emissions is coming up into my flat from downstairs..flatest, with static shocks waves. I don't know how to get the relevant evidence to prove this criminal activity against me.. how is even possible to do it .. if anyone's got any ideas please forward it.it seems that everybody is an expert in flogging people off and not taking responsibility. my health has been impact so bad I've been in hospital seeing the cardiologists. Try to seek legal advice. Not getting anywhere far
Mon - 20-Mar-21 @ 7:58 PM
Rach please get proper help if your flat is council or housing association ring them and get advice, your quality of life and your child are being badly affected,
Victoria - 24-Jan-21 @ 1:34 AM
I've had harassment at all 3 of my last properties. First was a couple who lived in flat above me, loud music at stupid o clock on week nights, chucking dirty nappies and cigarette butts in my garden, she made comments if I was minding my own business in my garden. Moved to another flat where the woman in the flat below started making up lies about me and asking other residents to join in with the lies (they didn't), she stopped my daughter and her friend and asked them to leavd her kids alinecand shd told them they had bad parents! Her daughter then started stealing and had people coming round about it and then her daughter dropped a concrete door stop on her own brothers foot. I complained and eventually it got sorted. I'm now in a house and was okay until neighbour moved in 18 months ago. Screaming at her son constantly, pretty sure she hits him but son is screaming and up on his console keeping my daughter awake and as she is up at 6am sometimes, I complained and then she started screeching at me after the H.A spoke to her and she acted like a victim! I stood up to her though and she backed down. She'd already shouted at another neighbour previously who was making noise and keeping her awake but then when she did it,the old 2 face came out. Just record it and record it, housing associations must be regulated by someone you can go to directly.
Sjm - 31-Dec-20 @ 9:31 AM
when I moved into my flat 4 yrs ago..I had a drug addiction when I first moved in to my flat and the local housingput me on a 6 month about as there were lies getting toldabout me..at the time I never reported any of there vile comments..putting me down constantly...sitting alienated at summer when all sitting out in good weather and id be left sitting myself on the grass while they all would be speaking about me...I have a red alert on my address as I went threw domestic abuse n got moved from flat to flat for a long time so I have ptsd I have been off the drugs for two years.... I was then trying to fit into their ways cause I thought it was the normal but no I didn't like the so I pulled myself away from them and now that I am working with different volunteer services as I want to be a mentor for abused kids n women they dont like it and have turned every neighbour against meive had neighbours come to my door and tell me that my grandaughter won't be back to my flat ...thats them expecting a reaction from me but I just said ok thank you bye n closed my door...but since then there's pple that are moving into building and im telling them my past cause I know they will get told it anyway... and I shouldn't having to be doing that ..ive had them trying to get petitions etc to try n get me out the building and also done the same when my oldest son moved inwith me even though they are illegal but this is all to get a reaction out of me as they all know that I would get lifted by police or put out and made homelesswhich I think is very sad and pathetic considering the life ive pulled myself away from after 32 yrs of abuse ...but this is the last straw on emas eve I came back into building and I received a messagefrom one of neighbours threatening to kill me so for first time phoned the police as I was in fear threw my domestic abuse I went threw n my ptsd but ive been writing all the incidents down then on Xmas day after my parents left my oldest son got a message from one of neighbours and he went down n I saw what flat he went into and it is one of neighbours who sells cannabis and street valium and when he came back up he had a nasty side in him and ended up battering me n wrecking my doors I had to put him out n phone police on him..a friend came last night a Christian I go to church with coz he was worried about me n im sitting with black eyes etcso I think they were not expecting me to phone police but I know that his drink had been spiked n whether its my son or not I will not be abused in my own house and also one of neighbours who works in local hospitalhas looked up my medical files and ive not done anything about that ...I feel trapped in my flat and I am top flat so need to walk by them all its so unfair I know many things about there pasts and I dont use that against them I just need a bit of help with information with what to do I have the police incident numbers and everything else wrote down also 2 yrs ago when I c
anne - 26-Dec-20 @ 9:54 PM
when I moved into my flat 4 yrs ago..I had a drug addiction when I first moved in to my flat and the local housingput me on a 6 month about as there were lies getting toldabout me..at the time I never reported any of there vile comments..putting me down constantly...sitting alienated at summer when all sitting out in good weather and id be left sitting myself on the grass while they all would be speaking about me...I have a red alert on my address as I went threw domestic abuse n got moved from flat to flat for a long time so I have ptsd I have been off the drugs for two years.... I was then trying to fit into their ways cause I thought it was the normal but no I didn't like the so I pulled myself away from them and now that I am working with different volunteer services as I want to be a mentor for abused kids n women they dont like it and have turned every neighbour against meive had neighbours come to my door and tell me that my grandaughter won't be back to my flat ...thats them expecting a reaction from me but I just said ok thank you bye n closed my door...but since then there's pple that are moving into building and im telling them my past cause I know they will get told it anyway... and I shouldn't having to be doing that ..ive had them trying to get petitions etc to try n get me out the building and also done the same when my oldest son moved inwith me even though they are illegal but this is all to get a reaction out of me as they all know that I would get lifted by police or put out and made homelesswhich I think is very sad and pathetic considering the life ive pulled myself away from after 32 yrs of abuse ...but this is the last straw on emas eve I came back into building and I received a messagefrom one of neighbours threatening to kill me so for first time phoned the police as I was in fear threw my domestic abuse I went threw n my ptsd but ive been writing all the incidents down then on Xmas day after my parents left my oldest son got a message from one of neighbours and he went down n I saw what flat he went into and it is one of neighbours who sells cannabis and street valium and when he came back up he had a nasty side in him and ended up battering me n wrecking my doors I had to put him out n phone police on him..a friend came last night a Christian I go to church with coz he was worried about me n im sitting with black eyes etcso I think they were not expecting me to phone police but I know that his drink had been spiked n whether its my son or not I will not be abused in my own house and also one of neighbours who works in local hospitalhas looked up my medical files and ive not done anything about that ...I feel trapped in my flat and I am top flat so need to walk by them all its so unfair I know many things about there pasts and I dont use that against them I just need a bit of help with information with what to do I have the police incident numbers and everything else wrote down also 2 yrs ago when I c
anne - 26-Dec-20 @ 9:54 PM
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