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How to Deal With a Neighbour 'Stalking' You

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 17 Mar 2020 | comments*Discuss
Neighbour Stalking Stalker Harassment

Stalking by neighbours – or anyone, in fact – is one of those crimes that is often joked about, but can be very unnerving and at times even frightening. If you suspect that you are a victim of stalking, whether it’s a stranger or a neighbour, one of the main things to do is to try and keep calm. Stalkers and people who are out to harass others are often just looking for a reaction, and if you try to stay aloof and appear unconcerned, even if you are feeling anything but, they may lose interest and leave you alone.

Harassment covers pretty much all forms of unwanted behaviour, from mildly irritating to actual physical violence. Harassment can be a criminal offence and Laws Exist To Protect You . If the neighbour concerned is also watching or following you, making constant attempts to contact you or even sending you unwanted gifts, harassment becomes 'stalking'.

It may seem innocent at first – a neighbour seems to be a bit over friendly perhaps, and in all honesty, it could be a misunderstanding or a one-off. But if the strange or unwanted behaviour happens repeatedly (and repeatedly just means more than once) or you’re feeling distressed or frightened by the behaviour, trust your instincts. Stalking is a criminal offence so don’t blame yourself and don’t think that you have to put up with it, whether it’s a neighbour or a stranger.

Keep Hold of the Evidence

If things escalate, make sure that you keep a note of all incidents that you consider to be harassment or stalking and tell people, other neighbours, or your friends and relatives, what’s going on. You can enlist the help of willing neighbours who might be able to keep an eye out for the perpetrator – if they deliver anything, or are hanging around your property, for example.

If the person who is stalking you also uses text, email, or the post to get to you, you should keep evidence of these as they can be used if you need to take the matter up formally. Don’t be tempted to respond – that’s what the stalker wants you to do.

In addition to hard evidence, Keep A Diary Of Events, making sure that you note down anything suspicious, times, dates and events. Write down anything that your neighbour says or does that could be construed as stalking as soon as it happens, as only evidence that’s recorded ‘contemporaneously’ – that is, immediately – can be used in any future court proceedings if they become necessary.

Being Stalked on the Telephone

If part of your stalker’s campaign involves telephone calls, you should keep a record of dates and times of the calls and anything that was said. If the caller hasn’t disguised their number, make a note of that too, or if being stalked via a land line, try 1471 to see if they slip up and reveal their number.

BT may be able to help if the stalker has your landline number. Call the BT Nuisance Calls Bureau on 0800 661 441 if you are a BT customer. On your mobile, save any malicious text messages for evidence.

If You Feel in Danger

If you ever feel as if you are in imminent danger, call 999 straight away and don’t worry about feeling foolish if the threat later dissipates – it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Try to stay calm and not show any fear or emotion. Don’t lose your temper or attempt to confront your stalker, again, the bully is looking for a reaction, so you should try not to let them have what they are looking for, even if you’re angry or frightened. If you notice your stalker, try to get away from them and into a public area or into your or a friendly neighbour’s home.

If the harassment carries on, your only option is to Contact The Local Police.

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We all have to rally against the foia and privacy acts that allow law enforcement and its affiliates to gangstalk under a veil of gaslighting
Gang Stalked - 17-Mar-20 @ 10:43 PM
I finally asked the creepy neighbour what his problem was and why he is always staring,Last week I caught him looking at me hanging out washing he just stood there from his window watching me for 5 minutes,I ran out front & asked what the f is your problem why are you always staring at me,He started banging his window like an angry psycho & saying he can look wherever he wants & if wants to watch me he will,I told him we'll look were you want but do not look at me or my house or my family,The next two days he was still at it & again tonight,I really think there is something wrong with him or he's a real creep or could be a racist as I'm now the only family in this housing complex who's from a particular race ???? it's really getting on my mental health now & I will not move or now down to his intimidating tactics
Chaz - 2-Mar-20 @ 11:10 AM
To I Just Want Peace,Can you switch phones with a relative? Like your mother or another trusted relative. My family has an HOA President stalking us. She's used her family members and even hired either a Rent A Cop, actor, or another relative of hers with some security guard training. To shadow us. We are positive that she was using some kind of GPS tracking device. Thanks for reminding us about our cell phone.
CAT - 21-Feb-20 @ 2:18 PM
Why does my neighbor make his dog bark when I go outside my house?Is he koo koo for coco puffs.
Dj - 14-Feb-20 @ 10:47 PM
My neighbor has always been a bit weird. He watches my kids playing in the garden, gets his post sent to my home and constantly goes over the top with usual annoying neighbor stuff (blocking communal pathway, disposing of cigarettes in my garden, moving rocks on the boundary fence to let my dog escape the garden) and in the last few weeks he's been working less and following me, places I randomly go to on the spure of the moment, and he's there! We have the same housing association landlord, and they won't do anything as he's not breached his tenancy..he hasn't commited a crime for the police to get involved.... My husband works and I'm mostly at home as my youngest child isn't in full time school yet. He has no children... And today has followed me to my kids school and is just sat watching. My husband has confronted him previously about his strange behaviour and he just laughs!! Our front doors are within 5 ft and he stands outside my door like he's about to walk in. I always lock my doors but feel like it's not enough... I usually wouldn't let an idiot like this bother me... But he has serial killer eyes and his past behaviour is unpredictable, I don't know what I can do??!
Feeling unnerved ?? - 21-Jan-20 @ 4:28 PM
My neighbor has always been a bit weird. He watches my kids playing in the garden, gets his post sent to my home and constantly goes over the top with usual annoying neighbor stuff (blocking communal pathway, disposing of cigarettes in my garden, moving rocks on the boundary fence to let my dog escape the garden) and in the last few weeks he's been working less and following me, places I randomly go to on the spure of the moment, and he's there! We have the same housing association landlord, and they won't do anything as he's not breached his tenancy..he hasn't commited a crime for the police to get involved.... My husband works and I'm mostly at home as my youngest child isn't in full time school yet. He has no children... And today has followed me to my kids school and is just sat watching. My husband has confronted him previously about his strange behaviour and he just laughs!! Our front doors are within 5 ft and he stands outside my door like he's about to walk in. I always lock my doors but feel like it's not enough... I usually wouldn't let an idiot like this bother me... But he has serial killer eyes and his past behaviour is unpredictable, I don't know what I can do??!
Feeling unnerved ?? - 21-Jan-20 @ 3:05 PM
My neighbour seems a bit of a stalker he's been here 3 months now and I've caught him numerous times now gawking out at me from his blinds,I want to ask him what his problem is or that it makes me feel uncomfortable with him seeing my comings and goings,I just finally got rid of the other stalker who now no longer hassles me after housing gave her a warning,But today this guy now came to the park watching me and my children,Another guy was in the park on his phone then texting then seemed to walk away once he knew I'd noticed him,The neighbour then was on his phone texting and left the park after I kept stiring at him with a look as if to say I Know what you are doing,What is with these people freaks who obsess over other lives with nothing to do with their own lives,An illness ? Or just plain right creeps??
Chaz - 19-Jan-20 @ 3:32 PM
i can totally relate to Annoyed and the problems that was posted. I am dealing with not only the guy(across the street), and how he uses his two kids, my sister(who lives next door to me)and her tweaker friends, my neighbor(behind me), and my neighbor and her husband(two doors down). They hear everything I say when I am talking at home, they seem to know what I have said because I've heard them talk about those things, they report to each other about everything I seem to do and even times I go to bed and wake up, and when I address this to my sister, her response along with these other people are made light of and make me out like nothing is wrong, I need to take my meds, im hearing voices, etc. They can be heard talking about plans for me or negative feeling vibes all day every day, and they make it a point about not giving me any kind of evidence of their actions or anything that I can use against them except what I record throughout the day when I write down everything i hear or experience about what they do or hear them say. These people seem to think that I am on some drugs and no matter what I seem to tell them, they are trying whatever they can to prove themselves right even though i am not on drugs.Its like they all report about everything i say and do like they wprk for the NSA or something.I hate that i cant physically prove anything except for records and a recording of a couple of them trying to break into my house(voice recorded).I don't know what to do and they know that i have mental health problems and its like they don't care.I worry more about my indoor/outdoor cats and their safety.But i would go to prison if anyone harmed or try to hurt them in any kind of way.Ive considered suicide a couple of times, too, and they've laughed and made fun about it, too.I don't know what else to do.I have prete4nded like it doesn't bother me, but i don't know what else i can do.Its been going on for months and i cant seem to get an actual response for their reason for doing all this or even how we can resolve this, to no avial. I cant hold onto my sanity for much longer and am alsoat my wits end.
kat - 15-Jan-20 @ 7:02 PM
I think Amanda next door two us 39 Charles crescent hoghton Preston is stalking us we live at 41 Charles crescent is there anything you can do to get it stop
Christine driver - 9-Jan-20 @ 7:51 PM
I live in Fort Lauderdale.If anything happens to me it was the police and boarding house across the street. I called 911 for help but they can do nothing. Terrorism for 22 years so I can not leave my house anymore.The police sit right outside my door and film my house 24/7.The police and their neighbors provoke me. They are getting other neighbors involved. My name is Mary I live on NW 52 Court in Oakland Park, Florida.Please pray for me.I picture myself walking with Jesus and the angels for my safety when I check the mail once a week and bring garbage out only once a month. Thank you. Amen
Lightbearer - 4-Jan-20 @ 1:14 PM
I am a victim of this type of harassment and it's called Gangstalking . It started in San Diego , ca and followed me to Tucson , Az! It's real and authorities won't do anything about it! They are often involved sometimes I know in my case they are .
Victim of Gangstalki - 16-Dec-19 @ 7:10 AM
I can’t even begin to tell you what the creep across the street has done to me and my family, my marriage is about over because of this creep and his friends and nobody will believe me because of the crazy things he does and when I try to tell anyone it makes me sound like the crazy one. This guy has set me up so bad Ithat when I called the sheriff on him I was the one hauled away because I was hysterical by the time the deputies got here. My husband won’t believe me , he drinks all day and sits on the computer so involved he doesn’t even know if I’m in the house or gone, can’t remember anything I tell him or show him things this guy has done to me and has convinced my sons that I’m crazy. I don’t know what to do anymore and this creep won’t stop and I believe it is all about the money my husbands inheritance that is a lot of money. I do mean a lot a very big inheritance and I think this creep thinks he is going to steal it somehow. My husband is a good man and has given me a good life. He too has worked hard his whole life and we are very comfortable and really don’t need his parents money but it will be nice that we will never want for anything and can live with no worries the rest of our lives but this guy will never be out of my life and has basically ruined the life I had. I do believe he will hurt me or worse and then go after my little family.There is only my husband, myself and our 2 sons and a niece who also inherits. Please if you hear about a tragedy about me please someone tell authorities about this letter. It was my neighbor that lived at 85 Middle Canyon Rd in Carmel Valley, Ca that did it, please someone please listen to me and don’t let this creep get away with it! Jodi Sherman Carmel Valley, Ca 93924
Jodi - 13-Dec-19 @ 12:31 PM
Unfortunately, I can identify with each and everyone of you, especially Jetty. I am so tired that when my lease is up, I'm moving to another state. I don't understand why a person would be so fixated on another person they don't know! As I'm texting this, I am sitting in a supermarket parking lot to find peace...I live in a two bedroom townhouse by myself and cannot find peace there. She tracks my location through my phone so she knows when I come and go. What seems to furiate her the most is when I turn off the location setting on my phone and she doesn't get to see who may have gotten out of my car with me! Why?? I don't know this woman! True incident: one day I left to go to a fast food restaurant in which I had a coupon for a free drink, but I wanted a shake....just the matter of me walking from my car to my home with two drinks drove that woman insane!! You could hear her very loudly racing from room trying to figure out who was in there with me and how in the world she could have missed him/her!!!! I'm really tired of this and the exact words of the officer at the police station was: ma'am there is nothing we can do unless she threatens you! Please let's all pray for our situations
I just want peace - 8-Dec-19 @ 8:16 PM
My lunatic neighbor thinks it's okay to spy on me and my family in our own home. They are extremely passive aggressive and jealous individuals. Very paranoid themselves. At the moment they seem to have an odd fixation on me.they even seem to get their friends and family involved. When ever I go out I see maybe one or two individuals that go out of their way to make sly and nasty comments regarding my personal problems and my own situational issues. I know this seems like madness but it isn't. They have looked at me in the eye whilst doing this so I'm not making it up. But they do it so slyly that I cant get much proof.it seems like they have been acting as the victim in all of this so that they can get others on their side.they have called me stupid dumb ugly ect. They listen to us just so they can get information about us to gossip. In my opinion I just think it is childish and pathetic but I know that it isn't my fault.
Annoyed - 25-Nov-19 @ 3:03 PM
unfortunately it seems these idiots are everywhere and there is no valid reason for their behaviour, obviously they are more than a little bit unhinged and pick their 'victims' for entertainment purposes..after reading quite a few comments on here its bizarre that these individuals show very similar if not identical behaviour and so i wont bore anyone with my problematic neighbor..you know how it is!! i understand now that people dont need a reason or an excuse to be horrible, they just are! its nothing you or i did or didnt do, so let them do their thing because its their own time they waste by putting all that pathetic effort into you and that says a lot about them dont you think? keep being nice and dont change your routine because of them..once they realise they aren't getting the desired reaction from you they'll find another passtime or risk exposure and they won't let that happen..so, please dont worry, things will work out fine, take care of yourself and your loved ones because they are the only ones who matter..
bomdiggy - 5-Nov-19 @ 9:16 PM
My neighbor in Atlanta ga has lied to try to get me evicted watches me and my kids called animal control and lied walked and banged on my door park up on my window had his friends threatened me mr Kendrick has constantly lied on me have the other neighbors Harris me to the point I don’t feel safe I have a restraining order but he keeps harassing me he needs to be arrested and evicted him and all the narcissist social paths
Cecee - 25-Oct-19 @ 11:26 PM
Think I have worst neighbors ever. They have broken into my place weekly (dozens upon dozens of times), command their dogs in German to attack me pretending to sneeze, sell drugs and women in my yard, drive by our heads trespassing blaring loud music night and day, they have shot at us, film me, stalk me, wave guns around, chronically tamper with security cameras, escort me everywhere I go on my property, run me off the road, but sheriff and his deputies, who are friends with my neighbors, gaslight me. Authorities tell me to move and accused me of making everything up. It’s been a nightmare. No one polices the police in north GA mountains.
Mobbee - 23-Oct-19 @ 8:42 PM
I have a neighbour who constantly watches me. When I go to take my dog out she's there standing on her landing. She goes in when I'm gone then watches me thru her kitchen window. Then she appears on her balcony just glaring. I come back in she's there again on her landing. She then says. What do you want. I carry on walking in. As she lives above me. She then shadows me from room to room. Bangs all the time for 5 hrs. On and off. If anyone comes to visit. She hears my buzzer go. She checks who it is. Then tells my guest she can't come in. She don't live here. My friends don't visit me any more apart from one. I took a photo of her staring into my home while I'm sat on my sofa just glaring at me. Half the time I don't know she's there and she makes me jump. I'm a nervous reck. If she.hears me in bathroom I hear enter her bathroom or need to go toilet. She stands listening to me. I feel like she's watching me thru the ceiling that's how bad my mind has got. It's invasive. I cannot do anything in my home or go outside iin garden. She listens to my conversations if I'm at my front door. She stands on the stairs. There isn't anything in my life that is private. Yet. Nothing has been done. I would like to know why.
Jetty - 18-Oct-19 @ 11:31 AM
Two of my neighbors creep me out and make me hate this neighborhood (Coastal Central Florida).I'm only going to write about the first fool: male, 50ish, barrel-shaped, shirtless, a smoker.He does nothing but sit in his open garage from 7am until approximately 10pm staring across the street at my property.He has two lawn chairs in there, both angled toward my house, with a small table between them.He has actually moved his vehicle to the grassy area between his and his neighbor's house so he has an unobstructed view.This is every day when he's home, all day long.It's been going on for years.If you are coming or going or collecting your garbage bin he has to try to engage with you.Shirtless, smoking, and annoying, and speaking with a dopey sounding New Jersey accent.LOSER.When he has company, they park across the street, in front of my property.No cars in his driveway, and never a car in the garage.I live for when he leaves to do some errands.I quickly run out, mow the lawn, collect my mail....I'm truly sick of this disgusting ugly creepy staring bastard.Get a hobby and get a life or go jerk your micropenis INSIDE your home.HIDE YOURSELF YOU ABOMINATION.
Tired of It - 4-Oct-19 @ 7:03 PM
I have the worse neighbours they listen to me and my music day and night they harassed me for up to three days I yell back at them it's like they can see me they tell me to try on things in my wardrobe and I cant find anything they remind me of they call me names when I'm starring at the mirror I get so mad I use to shout it looked like I was shouting at myself I'm convinced they have a speaker in my house not only so they can hear me but also so I can hear them it is so frightening they are so creepy and such bullies they want the authorities to think I'm crazy it could be the walls are thin. Believe in yourself there bullying is because they are jelouse they call my boy friends prostitutes and they see no worth in me so they say.I have a beautiful son and life and they are very evil bullies.Unfortantly people are very evil minded and very crazy and not normal. I guess my music scares them. I've also had all these young girls gossiping about me they are like little biddy busy bodies gossiping away outside my house they are always armed with there phones to talk there gossip about me as the walk past my house. The stalking is gossips they have put a mic on me my watch alarm went off the whole street could hear it it was coming from my wrist the alarm was so loud the echoing through the street.They act out scenarios of my life also I think it's try hard actors or narcotics police acting out stuff. There also are plant hangings in the local cafe plants held up by nooses I called the cops they won't take them down I'm very frightened. Also the lady up the road with two kids as she walks past my house pretends to be my best friend she mimiks her accent it is so creepy. I wish I could move.I think they have keys to my house also.They are harassing me because I'm a single woman.This play acting about my life happened in London also when I was living below two very nasty jelouse ugly Australian women.Its just not a normal thing for people to be doing.I wondered if anyone has heard of such stalking.
Heather - 4-Oct-19 @ 5:10 PM
That don't work for my stalkers I will ignore them for months an even a year had went by I stay away from home they just find methey just won't stop bn stalked now that I noticed going on 3 years dont know what else todo. I have contacted police of feared my life an leave my home nothing works with my stalkers they even have dromes they watch me an look through my windows with.
Shell - 25-Sep-19 @ 6:04 AM
Thankyou Kay for your reply, it's very unfortunate to be on the receiving end of neighbours like this I can only describe it is uncomfortable and scarey, not knowing what they will do next, not a nice way to live.
Jlo - 14-Sep-19 @ 9:39 PM
You all need to educate yourselves on. Narcissism, malignant narcissism, sociopaths, psychopaths and dark triads. Many of your neighbours have borderline personality disorders, you are not crazy just very un lucky. Educate yourselves to keep your sanity and move address they will never change!.... Good luck!
Kay - 11-Sep-19 @ 4:20 PM
I have a neighbour who moved in next door two months ago, everytime anyone is coming or going from my house she races to her front door watching them in full view and just stares, she also uses the key hole to peer through. She constantly looking up at my windows when out walking her dog and I feel so uncomfortable as I hate being watched, she is in her 40s and doesn't work. When she first moved in she roared at me one day in front of my children, then another day shouted 'fanny' in my face, she then encouraged her dog to growl and behave aggressive towards me which I finally phoned the police about. How can I get this idiot to stop, it's such bizarre and creepy behaviour.
Jlo - 11-Sep-19 @ 10:13 AM
Dreadwitch that kind of comment someone who would side with a bully would make. Yes. Some of the stalking that happens is nuts. Thats cause the stalker is nuts. Its a draining demoralising exhausting experience being tracked and urevery move watched. Try living above my neighbour who peers thru my letterbox and hangs about outside monitoring my shower usage as aparantly the sound of water going down is too loud. Every noise i make she moans. Had a relative of hers follow me in car once to see where i went thru day. Saw him and heard them discuss it later. Im fully sane and this is driving me to move. Thats the only nuts thing about it. Try empathy.
T - 28-Aug-19 @ 2:44 PM
Pervious landlords Ronald Phillips and wife Carman Henderson I had put court papers 03102016. Because they our on some crazy deranged religion and had their tenantes to harass me and threading me. The pervious landlords send me a 30 day notice to vacate. I moved here next to a neighbors who so happen to know pervious landlords who had been harassing me by putting a smell at wall down stairs where my living room is during the day and at night up stair's hallway a smell coming from next door between the hours of 12 am and 5am. I report it to CPD's dispatcher they send a officer out by the time they get out neighbor moved the smell. And the following me when I go up stairs or be down stairs and that's the bathroom and when I leave my home they has their associates follow me. The pervious'landlords Carmen Henderson the wife of Ronald Phillips like I said got mad because her husband was I guess paying attention I guess to me. She had her associates to shoot off a gun at 2692 Divot PL Columbus Ohio 43211 because I'm saying in the privacy of my home how this neighbor all in my mouth how I wish they find something else to do.911 was called I give two addresses because I was two nervous 2684 and 2692 Divot PL Columbus Ohio 43211 CPD's officer did not check for no gun. Everything I say and do is monitored by 2692 Divot PL Columbus Ohio 43211 one time I was in the privacy of my home saying who ever lived in 2696 was nasty this neighbor's visitors contacted pervious tenants and let them know what I said.No privacy living in Ambiance vallas rental office plus I let rental office know about the neighbors and their visitors harassing me and threading me 06072019 . Columbus Police department' s their dispatcher thinks since I have a disability I don't know what I'm talking about concering this neighbor and their visitors harassing me and threading me . Plus I told CPD's dispatcher why this neighbor and their visitors doing it the CPD's disregard my complaint or asking for help. The CPD's officer knock on door two different occasions 2692 Divot PL Columbus Ohio 43211 door no answer Can I get some advice
Bunmy - 26-Aug-19 @ 2:54 PM
After reading lots of these comments it seems most times the issue is with the person writing them not their neighbours. Most of you seem stark raving bonkers and you would be much happier if you focused on something else rather than neighbours going about their daily lives. Several of you would drive me absolutely crazy if you lived next door to me....maybe look at yourselves before accusing normal people doing normal things of stalking you.
Dreadwitch - 24-Aug-19 @ 5:05 PM
I have lived in my condominium for three years.Everything was peaceful until an older Persian woman moved in upstairs.She lives alone. When I first met her she said I was wondering when you would come to meet me.This statement alone made me frightened.The woman looked up at one point and I swear I saw evil in her eyes.I quickly made an excuse to run back to my place.A few weeks later she left a can of cookies (which I threw away) and a note to join her for Persian food and tea.I was Leary of contacting her so I didn’t.Now she stalks me wherever I walk in my place and listens tomy telephone conversations.Sometimes she stomps on her floors.This evil woman is relentless and won’t stop.Any advice on how to handle my situation?Thank you.
BluMartini - 22-Aug-19 @ 1:41 AM
We have lived here for 13 years and the neighbours on the left have some sort of fixation with me and my daughter. It's a woman in her late 50s and her elderly mother, brother and son. They copy clothes, shoes, handbags. Pot plants, curtains our car, every conceivable thing and opportunity. They burn firewood in an area where it us banned and only really affects us, as we are right next door. Every single time we go into the back garden and I mean EVERY SINGLE time, the younger woman comes out to bang around and be heard. If I start to mow the lawn shegets hers out and starts mowing, regardless of whether she did it the day before. I immediately stop mowing and move to the front garden. She immediately stops and then moves to the front too. In the last 2 years her behaviour has grown even more stalkery. We do not talk to this family at all. In fact we keep our distance. The more we ignore, the more desperate for our attention the younger woman is. We have logged in excess of 60 times she has come into the front garden when we come home. She bangs her binsvery loudly for attention, which we ignore. She will not stop watching us. To put things into perspective, the other neigbours we really like, have never encountered them in the garden at the same time more than 10 times in one year. Sick of the unwanted attention.
MG - 16-Aug-19 @ 10:54 AM
We have creepy neighbours that use their kids to make noise in front of our house, stay awake all night making odd noises trying to freak us out, and we believe listen in to our conversations through a vent that runs under our house and more... It’s totally creepy. What a bunch of freaks! To all out there dealing with this odd people, may lord Jesus be with you and your families, and protect you from the evil that surrounds us.
Jesus is King! - 8-Aug-19 @ 5:46 AM
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