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How to Deal With a Neighbour 'Stalking' You

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 5 Jul 2020 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Stalking Stalker Harassment

Stalking by neighbours – or anyone, in fact – is one of those crimes that is often joked about, but can be very unnerving and at times even frightening. If you suspect that you are a victim of stalking, whether it’s a stranger or a neighbour, one of the main things to do is to try and keep calm. Stalkers and people who are out to harass others are often just looking for a reaction, and if you try to stay aloof and appear unconcerned, even if you are feeling anything but, they may lose interest and leave you alone.

Harassment covers pretty much all forms of unwanted behaviour, from mildly irritating to actual physical violence. Harassment can be a criminal offence and Laws Exist To Protect You . If the neighbour concerned is also watching or following you, making constant attempts to contact you or even sending you unwanted gifts, harassment becomes 'stalking'.

It may seem innocent at first – a neighbour seems to be a bit over friendly perhaps, and in all honesty, it could be a misunderstanding or a one-off. But if the strange or unwanted behaviour happens repeatedly (and repeatedly just means more than once) or you’re feeling distressed or frightened by the behaviour, trust your instincts. Stalking is a criminal offence so don’t blame yourself and don’t think that you have to put up with it, whether it’s a neighbour or a stranger.

Keep Hold of the Evidence

If things escalate, make sure that you keep a note of all incidents that you consider to be harassment or stalking and tell people, other neighbours, or your friends and relatives, what’s going on. You can enlist the help of willing neighbours who might be able to keep an eye out for the perpetrator – if they deliver anything, or are hanging around your property, for example.

If the person who is stalking you also uses text, email, or the post to get to you, you should keep evidence of these as they can be used if you need to take the matter up formally. Don’t be tempted to respond – that’s what the stalker wants you to do.

In addition to hard evidence, Keep A Diary Of Events, making sure that you note down anything suspicious, times, dates and events. Write down anything that your neighbour says or does that could be construed as stalking as soon as it happens, as only evidence that’s recorded ‘contemporaneously’ – that is, immediately – can be used in any future court proceedings if they become necessary.

Being Stalked on the Telephone

If part of your stalker’s campaign involves telephone calls, you should keep a record of dates and times of the calls and anything that was said. If the caller hasn’t disguised their number, make a note of that too, or if being stalked via a land line, try 1471 to see if they slip up and reveal their number.

BT may be able to help if the stalker has your landline number. Call the BT Nuisance Calls Bureau on 0800 661 441 if you are a BT customer. On your mobile, save any malicious text messages for evidence.

If You Feel in Danger

If you ever feel as if you are in imminent danger, call 999 straight away and don’t worry about feeling foolish if the threat later dissipates – it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Try to stay calm and not show any fear or emotion. Don’t lose your temper or attempt to confront your stalker, again, the bully is looking for a reaction, so you should try not to let them have what they are looking for, even if you’re angry or frightened. If you notice your stalker, try to get away from them and into a public area or into your or a friendly neighbour’s home.

If the harassment carries on, your only option is to Contact The Local Police.

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My neighbour stares in my window constantly . Every single day She copies everything I do . My friend bought me flower and I put them at the window with a big bow round it . Following day she had flowers at window with obv the big bow!!! ??? Everything I do she does . This is a form of stalking, harassment and making people feel uncomfortable . I want to keep my blinds down so I don’t see her but why should I? ? I am a strong independent person and not changing my routine to suit someone else . The thing is, she is 55 years old and her daughter is 33 it’s not Even her house is her mums at 80 years old . She is squatting there rent free both of them because she is a complete psycho and every man leaves her
Kk - 5-Jul-20 @ 2:58 PM
Hi I live in a small suburb outside York by the babe if H I have a neighbour who lives two doors down he is a weirdo he is white oldhas a slight oval shaped face wearsbucket hat and dark glasses he always looks at every single thing in my garden in a funny way like trying to steal.He never says hello to me when he sees in my garden he ignores meand onone occasion when he was talking to a neighbour he stared at mein my garden he stares and watches me in my garden he did that yesterday yesterday his car drove up outside my house when I came to my window this happened again but with a different neighbour guy he was white had a dark brown bears late 30s had a black dog he stood and stared at me through the window I was seated on my sofa he was looking at me at eye level it frightened me when I came to the window he ran off I never saw him again in other words he never dud it again I'm not sure whether to report it to the police or not I wasn't quick enough to put my cam era onto live should I report it to the police
Ron - 4-Jul-20 @ 12:05 AM
My neighbour perverts listen to me in my bathroom or having shower I'm going to council and going to get police involved all you guys make your recording and keep diaries for evidence
Av - 30-Jun-20 @ 8:53 PM
Oh my goodness. Interesting comments. Thank you for sharing as I thought that I was the only one. Unfortunately mine has been going on for years despite ignoring him and his desperate attempts for attention. More recently, he has been found guilty of harrassment to his ex-wife and yet the police are not concerned despite our children being referred to Safeguarding due to his well documented nature and special, but self claimed characteristics. Question: Has anyone actually received any proactive help from the police?
Nobody - 23-Jun-20 @ 2:37 PM
I am currently being stalked by my neighbour. He has two cameras directed at my house and whenever I move to the front or backyard he always seems there. He bangs his sliding door whenever he moves in or out of his house plus bangs on anything to scare me. Two days ago he took out his phone and began videoing me while I was in my front yard. He has broken my relationship with my boyfriend as he constantly peeps and peers over the fence. When he drives in and out of his house he reverses to stare at my house. I feel like he has invaded my house and that he watches me inside as he seems to know my moves. I want it to stop. I want him to focus on his wife and children. I do not want an old man obsessing over every move I do.
Lynn - 21-Jun-20 @ 1:13 PM
I never thought I'd be able to convey what I've been going through with my elderly upstairs neighbor until I read some of these comments. The constant watching, following and appearing outside or in town at the same time as me, littering my space, cutting my plants and telling lies about me. I thought nobody would believe it because even the police didn't seem to but I see others have very similar experiences. She is elderly, lives alone and this behaviour seems to be her main occupation. The patterns of behaviour are very similar to what others have described. Thanks for sharing these difficult experiences.
Z - 18-Jun-20 @ 10:37 AM
My neighbors is stalking me. Everyday since I’ve lived here he has been outside my door. All day all night he stares at me get out of my car with a group of men giving me dirty looks EVERYDAY. I got an alarm system and he watched the entire time. He lurks around me home everyday. He’s never inside he sits outside day and night it’s HORRIBLE!!! I moved here October 7th. He was greeting me as I moved in. He told me never to call police because he’s always watching he’s got cameras. He’s always gathering around so I’m corned in I live way in the back he has plenty of cars and he parks all his cars surrounding my car making it hard for me to move in and out of my parking space. I don’t come outside at night when I look outside my window all I see is him.
Gerliesse - 14-Jun-20 @ 8:32 AM
Make the group and comment how to add in to it and I will request as we have to be careful what we put here to hide our identitys incase they looking us up nightmare neighbours HEY
Charley - 7-Jun-20 @ 3:08 PM
Yet again more stupid games to play!!!! Mrs nankey kaur singh
Singh - 6-Jun-20 @ 2:14 AM
I would also like to know why he is creepy and is it because he feels superior to me?
Singh - 6-Jun-20 @ 2:02 AM
I would like to know why my neighbor is so jealous of me?
Singh - 6-Jun-20 @ 1:57 AM
I am having a similar problem with my next door neighbor. He has been harassing me since I was 15. I am 25 years old and he just keeps escalating. The other night I caught him on my run camera trying to pick my locks on multiple difference occasions. The last time he finally succeeded in picking my locks and was caught by m me at 3am before he could enter my apartment. I called police and they refused to help because he didn’t actually enter my apartment. I am so depressed scared and angry. I feel alone and paranoid all the time. I would really like to join your support group. Or at least talk to someone who understand my situation
Jenn14725 - 5-Jun-20 @ 5:27 AM
My neighbour has been caught be me multiple times a week standing at the back fence looking through, they watch my kids play and my wife sunbath. I am currently not only keeping a contemporaneous notes, but also video footage, Its both the husband and the wife seem to have a pathetic need to watch. I have bit back several times and confronted there behaviour only to have the police land at my door as they say i have been anti social. Thankfully the police seen through the BS and warned them about using the police as a tool. The scum next door has said a number of times that 'we are going to keep complaining until you are kicked out' By the end of this week/next week i plan for formally make a complaint for police intervention, will update how I get the perverts dealt with
Davy - 1-Jun-20 @ 2:47 PM
Hi Guys I’m experiencing the same thing and much worse with the neighbours upstairs. It’s beyond frustrating, creepy and vile. I feel harassed and as though I have 0 privacy. Did someone say something about starting a group chat? I’d be up for this. We could do it on Telegram or something similar. Other people don’t understand this unless it’s happened to them. I’ve given up trying to tell my landlord and I’m a new tenant here. Definitely could do with some empathetic support - I think we all could as this is driving me to despair! Who’s in? I could start a group or Charley, as suggested. Let me know. Thanks
Tora - 1-Jun-20 @ 12:00 AM
Some real awful experiences told on here and its dreadful for people to have to live with awful neighbours. I have too lived at my home for 24 years. Around two years ago my next door neighbour's changed towards me for no reason at all. They had been a bit noisy on and off in all those years but I never said anything or made any complaint. However, two years ago, the woman of the couple had a huge pool put into her garden and every summer is horrendous as they have large groups of people in there making dreadful noise. Also, I was finding litter in my garden and I couldn't sit out my garden, and still cant as she would spray me over the fence with toxic chemicals. My home is spotless so it is not as If I have a dirty home that smells to warrant anything like this from someone. I actually have not used my back garden for more than two years. It has got to the point where I am moving in the next few weeks and I cant wait. There is nothing worse than living next door to a jelous, sneering,alcoholic gobby family.
Sal - 29-May-20 @ 10:53 PM
Thoughts and input would be appreciated. What is this? I moved to a particular area over a year and half ago. There's a mentally ill neighbour that live across the hall. I seem to have become the fixation of his attention. A guy that has no life and nothing better to do with his time. And also does not work for years at a time. I have been threatened indirectly repeatedly almost every other day occurrence. And constantly targeted in many ways by this guy for simply living next door to him. The guy seems fixated on everything I do. He even sometimes lingers outside my front door almost as though he's trying to listen in? I've also started to notice that this guy might be stalking me too. When I leave the building go stroll into town (On foot). This guy then suddenly leaves the building shortly after me. Which is unusual as he's a shut in that rarely leaves the building. For him to choose to leave the building moments after I leave is suspicious.... when he has every other day to do this while he's sat around being a bum.... Thoughts anyone.... Its both creepy and frustrating having to deal with a crazy middle aged nut bag...
LD - 28-May-20 @ 3:09 PM
The neighbourmight be using the toilet at the same time But if its more than one neighbour chances are thet are gangstalking especially if ain't got jobs you have and your getting anoyonmous notes or letter(s)
Scotty - 28-May-20 @ 12:27 AM
I am convinced my neighbour checks on me and the way it's been is rather creepy. Since I live in a house with paper thin walls, the bathroom is where I can hear her / him or them being near by, so whenever I go there, I hear a toilet flush from next door. This has become more than a coincidence as it has happened way too many times and I fed up with it. I'm afraid to confront them about it because the issue is personal. Just wish they will go away.
Her - 20-May-20 @ 11:37 PM
Who wants a group chat give eachother mental support and fight these bullies gonna need some info or a profile for you to all contact me on and I personally phone all of you
Charley - 15-May-20 @ 12:56 PM
Is it in a block of 6 where you live I have the same problem. They hang around doors and like to listen to telephone conversations
Charley - 15-May-20 @ 12:49 PM
I suffer with mental illness, the kind that causes paranoia to the point of feeling constantly threatened even in my own home. The confusing thing in my case is that I can’t tell who started it, me or him, but one way or another we are BOTH perpetrators now. The floors in our building are paper thin. Literally. We hear everything from a very faint footstepto a full blown breakdown (which unfortunately I have many of, of which I am doing my best to work on.)anyway, one day I walk through my hallway which happens to have the communal hallway outside and I home in on my neighbour supposedly leaving his flat and locking up, I think nothing of it and carry of with my routine, about 15 minutes later I notice I didn’t hear the main entrance door slam shut and a thought came into my head that I didn’t like, i quietly walked to my front door and proceeded to unlock it, but as my keys jingled I heard someone literally scurry away, like they were stood really quietly in the hallway just listening to what doing and it’s really unnerving, but at the same time I suppose I am doing the exact same thing? This is a total mind f***and I have been looking for more affordable accommodation for a few years which I have been unable to do so far. What concerns me most is, I am probably causing the same unease and distress to other tenants and I’m trying so hard to be calm because of this but it almost makes me more triggered! Like I have to act sane all of the time, even in my own home..where I sometimes need a space to vent and not feel judged or like a burden. To be totally honest I think it’s all just down to cheap and quick renovations on old properties that needed properly sound proofing in order to be called a private property, I feel like I’m living in a bedsit.
Mega - 30-Apr-20 @ 2:04 PM
I have neghibors who for years seem like they are stalking me in a strange way. A little over a year ago I comforted one of the neghibors about smoking marijuana in hallway (duplex common area). Now in this duplex apartment I live downstairs they live upstarirs..when I ask the neghibor could she "at least light spray the hallway after she was done smoking i'd appreciate it..because I'm raising a 6 year old who plays in this hallway." She became very disrespectful, calling me out my name and just plan rude and loud. I call the landlord and havn't had a problem since. However..when im in my apartment. and I walk in a room for awhile (say my office) and I cough or make I sound, I could hear footsteps coming into the room over head, then constant back and forth walking. At first I thought it was just a coincident but when it started happening in every room, especially the kitchen and bathroom, Ive become frustrated. 9 times out of 10 everyday for a least over a year...anytime of day im in my kitchen they are above in their kitchen...anytime of day or night 9 times out of 10 they are in the bathroom over my head (I know because every time im trying to use the bathroom I hear their toliet flush) this could be a 8am, noon' 4pm, 3 o clock in the morning..9 times out of 10 they are there. I believe if I confront them they'll just deny it...but its obvious they are doing something very strange and I dont know what to do. What kind of evidence could I gather to prove this strange behavior?
Me - 27-Apr-20 @ 2:25 PM
I've felt increasingly threatened by bizarre creepy neighbours who live within a tenement left of my flat. An old woman who lives above me tracks every one of my movements and has initiated a hate campaign against me that the entire tenement/boring old lame people on my street participate in. I've dealt with this for over 12 months and am sick of her intense obsession with me. I own my flat and she seems committed to evicting me and harasses me every second, it's literally akin to living beneath the gestapo. She's a 70 year old lunatic granny and clearly doesn't have any hobbies, friends or exciting things occurring within her life. Each time I walk to my patio for a cigarette she coincidentally seems to walk her dog. It's vile. i've never felt so harrassed and threatened in my entire life and don't know how much more I can deal with prior to involving lawyers.
CR - 24-Apr-20 @ 3:31 AM
Hayley & Stuart who live in Hailsham, England are constantly watching a friend of mine. They are regularly seen hiding behind their blinds watching. Their security camera was pointing at her 12 year old daughter's bedroom - don't know what is going on there, but it is worrying. Their windows are opened when we are outside so they can listen to conversations. The blinds open slightly when they hear us so that they can watch. They are trying to find evidence to get my friend evicted but she has done nothing wrong This is vindictive behaviour and I understand they are breaching uk privacy laws by using a camera to look into someone else's property, and spying on a young female could be taken a number of ways. it certainly isn't normal. The woman comes out to the bins or her car when she sees my friend talking to people and she watches and listens. My friend can't open her lounge blinds because she is being spied upon. We are now making a note of every time this happens and will go to the police if it continues. These people really need to get a life, it is beyond pathetic.
sick of juvenile nei - 12-Apr-20 @ 7:05 PM
Reading some of these comments, I kinda understand what this is. We happen to live near overly vigilante, inquisitive people who are hyper aware of everything and everyone. Once they latch on to you, it's game over. Our personalities may also attract these people. Personally speaking, I'm a quiet individual and having this type of persona is like nectar to these people.
JackShea - 11-Apr-20 @ 10:59 PM
I've been dealing with this for more than a year. It's not just one though, it's many neighbours. They follow/monitor me when I go to shops, school, work. They've recruited young and old to do their bidding. I believe they think they're doing the lord's work. I can only assume that they think I'm a bad seed. Sad thing is, last year I quit my job because it was becoming unbearable. I worked as a carer and I really enjoyed it but I simply couldn't go out and about with my clients knowing full well I was being watched. Initially I thought, why me? But with each passing month, things are becoming clearer (something definitely happened behind the scenes but no one has informed me). Furthermore, I've always existed on the outside so it makes sense that I'd be a target. It's affected my reputation, my livelihood... everything. I don't know how to gather evidence. They don't say anything, just watch. One sprayed perfume as I was approaching one time, so there's that. I have no one to talk to about this. Most people will think I'm insane so I just keep it to myself but it's bad man. It's so bad.
JackShea - 11-Apr-20 @ 10:44 PM
We all have to rally against the foia and privacy acts that allow law enforcement and its affiliates to gangstalk under a veil of gaslighting
Gang Stalked - 17-Mar-20 @ 10:43 PM
I finally asked the creepy neighbour what his problem was and why he is always staring,Last week I caught him looking at me hanging out washing he just stood there from his window watching me for 5 minutes,I ran out front & asked what the f is your problem why are you always staring at me,He started banging his window like an angry psycho & saying he can look wherever he wants & if wants to watch me he will,I told him we'll look were you want but do not look at me or my house or my family,The next two days he was still at it & again tonight,I really think there is something wrong with him or he's a real creep or could be a racist as I'm now the only family in this housing complex who's from a particular race ???? it's really getting on my mental health now & I will not move or now down to his intimidating tactics
Chaz - 2-Mar-20 @ 11:10 AM
To I Just Want Peace,Can you switch phones with a relative? Like your mother or another trusted relative. My family has an HOA President stalking us. She's used her family members and even hired either a Rent A Cop, actor, or another relative of hers with some security guard training. To shadow us. We are positive that she was using some kind of GPS tracking device. Thanks for reminding us about our cell phone.
CAT - 21-Feb-20 @ 2:18 PM
Why does my neighbor make his dog bark when I go outside my house?Is he koo koo for coco puffs.
Dj - 14-Feb-20 @ 10:47 PM
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