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How to Deal With a Neighbour 'Stalking' You

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 19 Jun 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Stalking Stalker Harassment

Stalking by neighbours – or anyone, in fact – is one of those crimes that is often joked about, but can be very unnerving and at times even frightening. If you suspect that you are a victim of stalking, whether it’s a stranger or a neighbour, one of the main things to do is to try and keep calm. Stalkers and people who are out to harass others are often just looking for a reaction, and if you try to stay aloof and appear unconcerned, even if you are feeling anything but, they may lose interest and leave you alone.

Harassment covers pretty much all forms of unwanted behaviour, from mildly irritating to actual physical violence. Harassment can be a criminal offence and Laws Exist To Protect You . If the neighbour concerned is also watching or following you, making constant attempts to contact you or even sending you unwanted gifts, harassment becomes 'stalking'.

It may seem innocent at first – a neighbour seems to be a bit over friendly perhaps, and in all honesty, it could be a misunderstanding or a one-off. But if the strange or unwanted behaviour happens repeatedly (and repeatedly just means more than once) or you’re feeling distressed or frightened by the behaviour, trust your instincts. Stalking is a criminal offence so don’t blame yourself and don’t think that you have to put up with it, whether it’s a neighbour or a stranger.

Keep Hold of the Evidence

If things escalate, make sure that you keep a note of all incidents that you consider to be harassment or stalking and tell people, other neighbours, or your friends and relatives, what’s going on. You can enlist the help of willing neighbours who might be able to keep an eye out for the perpetrator – if they deliver anything, or are hanging around your property, for example.

If the person who is stalking you also uses text, email, or the post to get to you, you should keep evidence of these as they can be used if you need to take the matter up formally. Don’t be tempted to respond – that’s what the stalker wants you to do.

In addition to hard evidence, Keep A Diary Of Events, making sure that you note down anything suspicious, times, dates and events. Write down anything that your neighbour says or does that could be construed as stalking as soon as it happens, as only evidence that’s recorded ‘contemporaneously’ – that is, immediately – can be used in any future court proceedings if they become necessary.

Being Stalked on the Telephone

If part of your stalker’s campaign involves telephone calls, you should keep a record of dates and times of the calls and anything that was said. If the caller hasn’t disguised their number, make a note of that too, or if being stalked via a land line, try 1471 to see if they slip up and reveal their number.

BT may be able to help if the stalker has your landline number. Call the BT Nuisance Calls Bureau on 0800 661 441 if you are a BT customer. On your mobile, save any malicious text messages for evidence.

If You Feel in Danger

If you ever feel as if you are in imminent danger, call 999 straight away and don’t worry about feeling foolish if the threat later dissipates – it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Try to stay calm and not show any fear or emotion. Don’t lose your temper or attempt to confront your stalker, again, the bully is looking for a reaction, so you should try not to let them have what they are looking for, even if you’re angry or frightened. If you notice your stalker, try to get away from them and into a public area or into your or a friendly neighbour’s home.

If the harassment carries on, your only option is to Contact The Local Police.

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If I were to get a gun and start shooting up my roof, would I get in trouble?Im so tempted to do this because of the constant torment from low life creeps that harrass me morning, noon, and night.What about if I booby trapped my yard?Would I get in trouble if I hurt these creeps?I think it sounds fair but I would like to know if I would go to jail for declaring war on these jerks.Will someone let me know before I turn into Rambo...
MissChief - 19-Jun-18 @ 10:33 PM
Yes I need advice I moved into a beautiful handicap apt. on 11- 17-17and the person living above me and the first night after my family left a buzz came to my door which should have been a red flag but I didn't pay any attention at time I lived across from the laundry mat so this lady kept popping up at my door so about 2 weeks after I was slowly getting things in place and I begin to smell these strange orders to make a long story short low and behold it was coming in through the heat vents which is in the ceiling so I get in my wheelchair and take the elevator to her apt on the second floor i knock she answer the door i asked her was she burning anything no baby i'm not burning nothing i smell it to but the strange part was if i'm in my bed room i smell it very strong and so I go the the living room now when I go to the living room the air is all clear but shortly after the smell is coming into the living room i go to her door about 6times same questions same answer so I began to write dates times and what the order smelled like and I had quite a few notes so I got to management and the first thing she said was i can't prove it i asked don't you know your surrounding i showed her my journal she says keep manking note now i'm very upset so I kept complaining management wouldn't do anything about it so I went to her supervisor same results nothing to shorten my issue i just moved into a apt ment on the same floor I think I forgot to say I have empzema and i'm very sensitive to order and i'm in a wheelchair so I just moved to another apartment which I was told no one live above and I have one pedson on the left of me so I moved in 6-1-18 and low and behold theres a person above me and on one side of me so she lyed now I'm faced with the same problem burning following me through my apt even to the bathroom I go to bed their doing something I don't understand but it almost like someone having sex or something because at times it get very rapid like all day and all night i'm talking 24/7 I just don't understand and the only break i get from alk of this mess if I leave my apartment and go outside i get this up over my head so much it like i'm still vibrating and its very very ironing please I need help to get as far away from this place as possible..
Barb. - 9-Jun-18 @ 9:05 PM
I moved into my apts two years ago. An older lady maybe in her 50smoved above me and invited her daughter and grandkids over almost everyday so they could run back and forth and throw heavy objects above my head in every room I was. I spoke with the landlord and they called her. The woman was very nice so I can't imagine she said anything horrible. Well after that my neighbor wakes up as early as 2am (I know bc my walls are super thin and I wake up to her literally pacing loudly). Like many of you she follows me everywhere in my apt. From the time I wake up until I sleep she just follows me around my apt. I caught her staring into my apt in her car with an angry look on her face. I've sat in my living room and if I wasn't moving enough for her she would stand outside and then try to quietly come back in almost like she wants to catch me moving. This woman is completely crazy and it gets really bothersome.
Ali - 2-Jun-18 @ 5:08 PM
I've been being peeped in on an low talking no-one believes except my sister who has caught them several times its on going think they have embarrassing pics of me as well it is several people and it's making me look crazy as I do suffer from scitsophrania anxiety mania depression insomnia mood disorders I know what's inside and outside my head pleas e advise any will help
Shitty - 30-May-18 @ 5:44 AM
I have a neibour who tried knock me down and got put on a hd1 order then the stalking started constantly they sit in the dark watching ours I've caught him video and taking pictures of our bedroom window we have told the council and police and yet he and she get away with it apparently I'm presuming I've being accused by the same couple of hitting my other half and yet nothing gets said or done to them we need help but don't know who to turn too does anyone no any one that could help
Micky - 9-May-18 @ 7:57 PM
By observing the comments, I can see "some" people seem to have severe anxiety. Seek medical health people, you may have "mental illness" or "schizophrenia". While most of you are likely to experience antisocial behaviour, some of your stories are a little "extra". Like the story about the "homosexual" - why do you care? You are a grown man, just because someone is homosexual doesn't mean he or she is instantly going to stalk you - you are paranoid. And Gracie? You need help most of all. You are all over this website ranting about your neighbour. Solution to most of these problems? Move! And if that doesn't work - your the problem - get help.
G. Samunda - 5-Apr-18 @ 9:08 AM
I have read all the comments and all of this is the same pattern of my neighbor upstairs, following me round the house to every room, fitting sound monitors, other monitors which I have no idea what they are, laughing, shouting threats, which now have stopped since monitors were fitted, following me to the shop, anywhere, telling lies to other neighbors.The Council as you say, are not fit for purpose, what can we do, we are all victims in our own home, I totally empathize with you all, but do glad I have read theses as I know I am not alone, hope you all get there in the end ??
Mands - 19-Mar-18 @ 9:11 AM
my neighbor male tenant tried to ask me into his flat to which I outrightly refused. I am now dealing with psychotic behavior where he is reporting me for so called conctaing him directly indirectly there is no proof of this as its in his head. I have reported to police time and time again being followed halfway to the store and never goes as close as the cctv so not caught so it make sme look crazy this time he decided to follow me back I only heard him after he hit me with his bicycle wheel, he had me against the brickwork under the alleyway of the flat door, he told me to scream I did so said ring 999. I couldnt find mobile he repeatedly hit me with his bike and said to me go ahead report it nobody will believe you as im allowed through this entrance ill state this you were in my way and I wanted to get past. I walked off busted leg as he shoved past me...to neighbors knocked door they stated didnt hear me scream...I made my throat hoarse. they said dont know number for police...ok they arent from england but honestly! they wouldnt even let me in the house for help and no wouldnt ring cops...hmmm I wonder if they are dodgy too...everyone knows the police number surely its advertised on tv adverts everywhere well my legs swollen black and blue why the drugged up neighbor slams doors till 2am pounding wall he follows where i walk where I move he lives below me hes psychotic and reporting me as I live alone single he thinks its his right to prey on me, its fun its a game he has stated nobody will believe me and he is right...nobody will my word against his he says and yes it is... im scared...I rang 999 still waiting for them to turn up ive rung 111 as my leg is cut up...ye sim typing here on a tablet...im up im on my own and im scared...
gracie - 17-Mar-18 @ 12:27 AM
We are suffering a relentless campaign of stalking by depraved, peeping tom neighbours and desperately need it to stop. They are constantly camped outside our house despite having numerous parking spaces outside their own houses and large driveways.Their obsessive stalking appears to be their life-blood - we can't leave the house or tend our garden without a chronically obese, gender non-specific slug rushing out to hold up it's mobile phone to film us on our own property.These individuals are dangerous.We are aware that our terror & repulsion is exciting the stalkers - research shows that all stalkers have abnormal functions and become heavily aroused by their victim's fear.It is truly horrible to be a target of these perverts. Does any more repugnant life-form exist?Can anyone advise us how to get rid of them - we believe that they are planning to murder us?
Freedom - 14-Mar-18 @ 8:25 AM
And stuff, we NEVER complained to anyone...i wish she would just pretend i'm invisible, that's what i do i pretend she is invisible, my husband just says to ignore her because she's the type that likes confusion and arguing(she used to come home drunk and WAKE the whole neighbourhood, arguing, smashing her front yard metal front gates, fighting.....etc..) so much crap...It's like she is OBSESSED with me,with my life if she could wake up and be glued to my a * * all day i think she would do that! that way she would know exactly what the hell am i doing<---why DOES she even care?
justagirl - 7-Mar-18 @ 11:21 AM
CCTVexpert - Your Question:
I have video footage of my neighbour throwing sharp objects like nails/screws and broken plastic pens (but sharp) onto my driveway. Police decided not to prosecute as it's not "part of the public interest". How is this justified? As sharp object can puncture a car tyre and cause an accident on the road? Long story cut short, I am a true victim of constant harassment and intimidation but this person has got away with it so much after having harassed other females over many years, it's unreal.

Our Response:
The police may have decided not to prosecute but can still consider a private legal action via the courts if you so wish.
ProblemNeighbours - 6-Mar-18 @ 11:29 AM
I have video footage of my neighbour throwing sharp objects like nails/screws and broken plastic pens (but sharp) onto my driveway. Police decided not to prosecute as it's not "part of the public interest". How is this justified? As sharp object can puncture a car tyre and cause an accident on the road? Long story cut short, I am a true victim of constant harassment and intimidation but this person has got away with it so much after having harassed other females over many years, it's unreal.
CCTVexpert - 3-Mar-18 @ 3:20 PM
Hi My partner & I moved into our new home last September,our neighbours are a couple in their 70s, she is ok & friendly if a little nosy but he takes it all to another level. He constantly stands either at the window or in his garden watching us. We're doing work to the garden so spend much time outside & he's always there. When we leave the house he then climbs onto a step his side to look over into our garden (we have CCTV) its horrible & upsetting its making us not want to be here. If I'm at home alone I won't go outside for fear he us there. Can anyone offer some advice?
Ali - 29-Jan-18 @ 11:56 AM
Hello, I'd just like to let people know that I've been a severe victim of Antisocial behavior, harassment, stalking,hate disabidisability crime all at the same time it has been all out abuseand my council haven't done a thing about it even after a number of complaints also this has been taken to the police who like the council have tried to just through it under the carpet none of them want to do anything about itand this has made to people with disabilities very very frightened this man upstairs has been stalking us for 2years now from when I wake up in the morning until we go to bed at night he follows me to the bathroom to my kitchen he comes in and listens to all my phone calls from flat above I'm in those old Victorian houses made into three flats and you can hear almost anything move around and he uses this to stalk us he's a homosexual mañ and I am a heterosexual man this man gas been knocking on my ceiling at me early in the morning when my wife ud a sleep this man is everywhere I go in my own home he is following me from above all day long he follows us to bed every night and stands in th3 hall way trying to listen in to me and my partner when we being intermitt he waits their for hour's he is a pervert when I go oût he runs to the window all of this and I can't get help i feel as though this man is being protected for being homosexual because when I had meeting with council and the police they were both homosexual as well and I believe that they took afence because I said the stalker was homosexual I could tell because they didn't want to help and instead tried too say in other words that It must be in my imagination now I'm going to seek legal advice I am a true victim of all this abuse..
Victim 44 - 19-Jan-18 @ 12:24 PM
I work as a caretaker for a chalet park in the uk. about 7 months ago, a tenant sold his chalet to a heavily tattooed guy, who came across quite abruptly, though affable enough.I intoroduced myself as the caretaker and passed on my bosses details so he, the tenant could contact him. over the next weeks, i saw this tenant a few times, and all appeared well, we met and had a beer and i gave him a few lifts into town. one evening after a shopping trip, having a few beers, he made a sexual pass at me. I was a little embarrased, me being a guy and he the same, and i not being orientated that way.i politely declined and made no matter of it, as i did not want to cause any offence though i was a little troubled inside. we did not hang out again, i did not avoid him, he see seemed to want to avoid me, and i was somewhat relieved. i continued with my caretaking duties, and it was during a mowing session at work that the tenant came out and started to shout at me, telling me i was a fake caretaker. puzzled i spoke to my boss, who is sick with cancer, undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy. his elderly mother is at home too, so its a strain looking after them whilst this tenant continues to harras me. Things started to happen, rope went missing, petrol too, then i happened to come across this tenant helping himself to wood from the estate, belonging to someone else, with no permission, its theft. he has made complaints to my boss, complaints to the police, who, fortunately recognise him and his behaviour, for what it is. however, recently, i have heard the sound of a person on my roof, i sleep in a chalet at work, as security for the estate, i have also had a dark figure come into my garden, open my gate to my steps and come to my window when im in bed at 4.30am ish. Three nights go that occured. he regularly walks over my garden patch outfront, ignoring the boundary, footsteps in the recent snow showed he had walked up to my front gates, turned and walked away, funny, i found my padlock encased in ice, yet no rain? next day i found footsteps from his property to my hedge, they abruptly stopped, next day, i discover my water system has been destroyed. i have logged this with the police, but, what will he do next? he comes into my garden at will, climbs all over my roof and decking areas, i am going to get wildlife cameras so at least i can get footage of him trespassing and perhaps causing damage. he has leered at my children when i have to drive past him, stood in our way, shouted abuse at me in front of my children, scaring them. i cannot stand his aggressive behaviour and intimidation of my children, and attempts to itimidate me by all his night time pranks, never facing me as a man. what next?
caretaker - 20-Dec-17 @ 10:47 PM
You will know the neigbors are stalkers if they have ever done any or all of the following: a: parked in front of your house leaving their own driveway free b: sat in their car outside your house for hours. c:put a spy cam in their passenger seat to film you intimately in your home d:followed you home The above are the standard MO of stalkers. If they: d:Floodlight your house and film you intimately in your bedroom e:Try to break in your property This level of stalking is extreme perversion. Remember that stalkers are without exception sick cowards who get aroused by their victim's disgust.If they have done any of the above, carry a personal alarm at all times.If they haven't they're probably not stalkers .
LeaveUsAlone - 14-Dec-17 @ 11:45 AM
My neighbor and her husband are stalking me in every shape way form possible. They are completely delusional and will stop at nothing to victimise me in my house. They will not leave me alone always calling me names Listening to me all the time watching me the list never ends with these people. I never want to see them again but am unfortunately going to have to.
Delusionalneighbors - 9-Dec-17 @ 11:43 PM
My husband has also been stalked by the neighbours and their repulsive, perverted associates. Recently a chronically obese woman dog-squatted in the street and started filming him as he put the rubbish out.He was horrified - it appeared she was about to open her bowels on the street.She used her child as a human shield while she filmed him - on his own property putting out his rubbish.This peeping tom should be placed on a sex offenders register.
AntiStalker - 9-Nov-17 @ 10:47 PM
We have the most disgusting stalkers in the form of next door neighbours.Throwing soiled sanitary products and filthy baby wipes onto our property, parking outside our house with a stupid rigged up camera/monitor, pointing through a gap in our bushes.They shine flood lights into our home to film us inside our house, trespass on our property in the middle of the night to bang on our doors.I've realised that the guy is a pervert who is obsessed with filming my husband.His stupid friends have followed my husband home on several occasions.We're never free of their constant, cowardly harassment and intimidation.The woman, who is morbidly obese, seems to run some kind of large person's club and their tellytubby friends park and congregate outside our house giggling -in some state of un-natural excitement.Never outside their own house. They are pathetic cowards - It seems that my husband and I provide their only entertainment.
Nomad10 - 9-Nov-17 @ 4:17 PM
In answer to the letter from the young girl j, it sounds as though your neighbour has narrccississ personality disorder. My neighbour acts the very same way as yours. Best advice is to totally ignore completely as they hate that. Also read up on narrccassit personality disorder, you'll be amazed at how these people live.
Ellie - 11-Oct-17 @ 11:54 AM
My neighbor, who I used to be really good friends with, has been harassing me for months. It all started when he caught feelings for me and I didn't. I noticed it escalated when I started seeing someone or had any males at my house. It started off as him stomping on his floor, being loud, blaring music and running up and down his stairs. Since then it has escalated to him vandalizing my car, my yard and even threatening me and my brother. My landlord has yet to do anything even though I made the problems aware to him months ago... I'm terrified to be home alone as well as go to the cops in fear of his reaction.
Mer - 9-Sep-17 @ 3:18 AM
To the lady who looks out of her window because of her anxiety do not look out of the window. It makes it worse. I know!! I am a female and have harassment, intimidation, bullying on a daily basis and it does not help you at all. I used to do what you do. I never look through the window anymore. It took me a while to break the habit but I have stopped doing it now.
happydays123 - 21-Aug-17 @ 2:58 PM
SophJonners - Your Question:
I have severe anxiety, and often look out of my window to be reassured I am safe. The only problem is, is that I rent a property, and my landlady's son and wife have moved in next door. I do not want them two seeing me staring out of the window, and reporting me to their mum, as I may get chucked out. HELP!!! What do I do???

Our Response:
You can't be evicted for looking out of the window, please try not to let your anxiety stand in the way of reason. Do you have any support at all, someone you can talk to about this?
ProblemNeighbours - 21-Aug-17 @ 1:42 PM
I have severe anxiety, and often look out of my window to be reassured I am safe. The only problem is, is that I rent a property, and my landlady's son and wife have moved in next door. I do not want them two seeing me staring out of the window, and reporting me to their mum, as I may get chucked out. HELP!!! What do I do???
SophJonners - 18-Aug-17 @ 9:08 AM
Ricky - Your Question:
Everytime I come home from school, training or whenever I sit on my bed near the bedroom window, this old man stares thru his window at me EVERY SINGLE TIME! And even right now he is and sometimes theres a old lady there, today he was gettin rude with me just cuz 4 balls have gone over and he threatened me and said he gonna tell the police so I started swearin back and finally he shut him mouth, but he kept starin at me thru the window I feel unsafe now any advise on what I shud do?

Our Response:
If you feel threatened at all, you should mention this to your local PCSO. They will be able to advise you on how to handle the situation.
ProblemNeighbours - 3-Aug-17 @ 11:14 AM
Everytime i come home from school, training or whenever i sit on my bed near the bedroom window, this old man stares thru his window at me EVERY SINGLE TIME! And even right now he is and sometimes theres a old lady there, today he was gettin rude with me just cuz 4 balls have gone over and he threatened me and said he gonna tell the police so i started swearin back and finally he shut him mouth, but he kept starin at me thru the window i feel unsafe now any advise on what i shud do?
Ricky - 31-Jul-17 @ 8:34 PM
I believe my neighbors are watchingfrom their front porch, through the cracks hein the curtains and blinds. I can hear them commenting on what I am doing. It happens daily. What should I do about this?
Scared - 9-Jul-17 @ 4:56 AM
My next door neighbour follows me down to the local shop, when I take my dog out and go into town for a walk round the shops. They always stay in their car. Raise their voices to make threats through the walls. A couple of weeks ago he broke my fence climbing onto my back garden. He has been doing it for years. After discussing with my father my intent to get back into employment one afternoon, he waited until my father had gone out and indirectly made threats when sitting outside that if I get a job where he cannot follow because it is too public he will start doing the same to my father whom I live with.I've never even spoken to him or met him but it started with a tonof council complaints and later progressedto where it is now. His behaviour has intensified over the past five months but it started when I was 14. I am now 27 and I'm worried.I just don't understand his motives or what he intends to achieveby making me scared to leave the house. What does a person like that even get out of it? What's worse is he is always laughing and joking with the neighbours that surround my house I don't know what to do.All the stalking advise sites indicate his behaviour is dangerous, but there is no clear solution.Also what annoys me alot of the advise is for ex lovers. My stalker is a married man in his forties who likes power games.
j - 29-May-17 @ 6:50 PM
How would you know if they're looking in if the blinds are closed? Maybe your posting in someone else's name....
Anne G - 23-May-17 @ 8:23 AM
Hi, Im afraid about my privacy. My neighbors directly looking in to my windows. I living in ground floor bud still Its wierd, even When my blinds are down they try to look inside.Im aftaid about stalking any advice please ?
Jacob - 22-May-17 @ 8:58 PM
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