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How to Deal With a Neighbour 'Stalking' You

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 17 Jan 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Neighbour Stalking Stalker Harassment

Stalking by neighbours – or anyone, in fact – is one of those crimes that is often joked about, but can be very unnerving and at times even frightening. If you suspect that you are a victim of stalking, whether it’s a stranger or a neighbour, one of the main things to do is to try and keep calm. Stalkers and people who are out to harass others are often just looking for a reaction, and if you try to stay aloof and appear unconcerned, even if you are feeling anything but, they may lose interest and leave you alone.

Harassment covers pretty much all forms of unwanted behaviour, from mildly irritating to actual physical violence. Harassment can be a criminal offence and Laws Exist To Protect You . If the neighbour concerned is also watching or following you, making constant attempts to contact you or even sending you unwanted gifts, harassment becomes 'stalking'.

It may seem innocent at first – a neighbour seems to be a bit over friendly perhaps, and in all honesty, it could be a misunderstanding or a one-off. But if the strange or unwanted behaviour happens repeatedly (and repeatedly just means more than once) or you’re feeling distressed or frightened by the behaviour, trust your instincts. Stalking is a criminal offence so don’t blame yourself and don’t think that you have to put up with it, whether it’s a neighbour or a stranger.

Keep Hold of the Evidence

If things escalate, make sure that you keep a note of all incidents that you consider to be harassment or stalking and tell people, other neighbours, or your friends and relatives, what’s going on. You can enlist the help of willing neighbours who might be able to keep an eye out for the perpetrator – if they deliver anything, or are hanging around your property, for example.

If the person who is stalking you also uses text, email, or the post to get to you, you should keep evidence of these as they can be used if you need to take the matter up formally. Don’t be tempted to respond – that’s what the stalker wants you to do.

In addition to hard evidence, Keep A Diary Of Events, making sure that you note down anything suspicious, times, dates and events. Write down anything that your neighbour says or does that could be construed as stalking as soon as it happens, as only evidence that’s recorded ‘contemporaneously’ – that is, immediately – can be used in any future court proceedings if they become necessary.

Being Stalked on the Telephone

If part of your stalker’s campaign involves telephone calls, you should keep a record of dates and times of the calls and anything that was said. If the caller hasn’t disguised their number, make a note of that too, or if being stalked via a land line, try 1471 to see if they slip up and reveal their number.

BT may be able to help if the stalker has your landline number. Call the BT Nuisance Calls Bureau on 0800 661 441 if you are a BT customer. On your mobile, save any malicious text messages for evidence.

If You Feel in Danger

If you ever feel as if you are in imminent danger, call 999 straight away and don’t worry about feeling foolish if the threat later dissipates – it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Try to stay calm and not show any fear or emotion. Don’t lose your temper or attempt to confront your stalker, again, the bully is looking for a reaction, so you should try not to let them have what they are looking for, even if you’re angry or frightened. If you notice your stalker, try to get away from them and into a public area or into your or a friendly neighbour’s home.

If the harassment carries on, your only option is to Contact The Local Police.

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Me and my boyfriend have lived at a private rented property 3 years now. From day one the neighbour has progressed in her strange, intimaidataing behaviour towards us. She started out having a go literally eithon the first month we moved in there was an incident where she was quite rude to both me and my mum. Since then she has popped notes through out door at around 6 month intervals which are really nasty mainly about noise. We have not retaliated or written back, we have simply tried to be as quiet and respectful as we can but have felt quite intimidated by it all. she often bangs on the wall sometimes late at night when my boyf has gone to work and I am in the house alone. Then strange things have started happened like dead mice left in the garden, scratches on my car and items in the garden being moved. I was told by a neighbor that previously the gates that link the gardens had to be locked because she used to stare into people's houses. Many time as well as banging on walls I have bangs on the front door or in the garden. She has confronted us both many times, often drunk and also called the police on us for arguing/domestic incidents that she has just made up. Once we had literally just walked in the door and the police turned up claiming there was a complaint about noise! We explained we hadn't even been in when the complaint was made!! She even complains about me coughing when I have a cold!! Most recently I was in hospital for a week and went she came back she came round again with another note making all sorts of accusations about my boyfriend and told me to break up with him and that I should move out. I tried to act calmly and sent her away but I don't particularly want her on my property. I feel quite scared especially when my partner is at work at night. She seems unhinged and sometimes appears drunk. Her house is a state of disrepair, her fence is hanging off and there is rubbish all over her garden. We have never made a complaint about any of this but I wonder if other neighbors have and she thinks it's us? I have spoken to the police about her previously and reported the activity and shown the notes etc but it's so infrequent it's hard to build up a case. Just when we think she's settled down she kicks off again. The police offered mediation which we accepted but she refused. I feel like I am constantly living in fear. She has repeatedly told us she wants us to move, I have no idea why she hates us - she doesn't even know us! We don't want to move because we love the house and the village we are in, my parents are down the road and our neighbours on the other side are lovely. But after the last incident I am concerned this will just never end. I actually think she's not well mentally. Not sure what we can actually do. We don't want to antagonise her but at end of our tether. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Lyns - 6-Dec-16 @ 9:30 PM
At the end of September my home was broken in two and only a few things were stolen it was determined my ex roomate and her current boyfriend were the culprits. Shortly after I started to hear people on the roof and see lights being shown into my windows. Come to find out my neighbors on all sides have banned together to attempt to gaslight me into thinking I have lost touch with reality. They pick on me the most and as of late have been terrorizing my 2 year old daughter shining these projection gadgets into her room or on the wall where she can see it. At first I was terrified and I admit I still get worked up about it, but now I am mama angrey. My daughter wont sleep in any of the bedrooms and only feels safe on the couch. My husband still believes me, but he hasn;t experienced the full effect like I have. The people follow me when I leave my home I have had them waiting for me when I leave my friends hoes and they shie projection lights into my face when possible. I have tried to ctach them on video, but I only had my cell and a babymonitor posted outside. The protejections are hardly visiable and since there are no physical bodies on the property they have gotten away and the local police of the hill billy backwoods town have repeatedly suggest I check out a counslor. I am going to see a counclor for the trauma, but not because I all of a sudden have completely lost my mind. Last week I recognized the femail voice I had been hearing from time to time and realixed it came from a woan I am not on goood terms with. She is griends with my neighbor directly to the right of me. The lots are spread out so my next neighbor is over an acre away. Behind our home is a trailer park and I have pin pointed the lights orgins to three locations. We finally setup a trail cam and more lights to illuminate the dark trees that surround the house. I am not sure what the U. S. Laws are in the state of Oregon, but I know they harrass my minor daughter in her bedroom and am wondering if ther are strictor regulations for that? I had my windows blacked out but that gave them the ablity to get close without being seen. Now my windows are wide open and they are not shy about where they are or the noises they make. Not sure where to go from here. I feel stuck. Friends and family all know what is happening and luckily I am supported, becasue I have never been like this even with some of the other traumas I have endured in my life. I am resilliant and a Lioness when it comes to my baby. Just want to harness this strength in the most effective way to take them all down! Please tell me who people get around gaslight situations and what are the legal rammifications I need to focus on? Thank you!
Strength is my spiri - 19-Nov-16 @ 2:59 PM
My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me an email address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg mefor forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia AT g m a i l. c o m his website is prophetabuviasolutiontemple. webs. com
Sarahcoleman - 19-Sep-16 @ 11:15 PM
I have had two stalkers. The more recent one loved to let me know he was watching me without leaving proof for me to offer the police. As a result, I close my blinds at night and early in the evening. I can also be seen cracking my blinds and looking out for every strange noise. It's not for my neighbors, I am just afraid I am going to see him. So perhaps some of these neighbors that seem to be watching you are actually just being hypersensitive about their homes surroundings because of a similar situation where they live in fear. In that case, sorry neighbor that our kitchen windows are aligned, but Ima look out at night and that's that. Cuz if the wolf is there I am getting a picture of him for the police.
IsHeStillWatching? - 16-Sep-16 @ 2:51 PM
I have an nighboor whos in her 60s who waited when im not around and stock my autistic boyfriend at publix, it was on going until he told her that he heard strange things of her, (in other words he dont feel to right around her.) she told my autistic boy friend lies on me lol luckly he walks away thank god, rather then flip out. he new right their the nighboor was skeptical for approaching him.the nighboor tells her friends she watches people get out their car and watch every move they make, ect. She even mimics their conversation to others. What ever dirty job she dont do, she gets her 23 year old son to go to peoples homes and investigate why they dont talk to her anymore, when reality their just trying to stay away from her.(their afraid). She would also follow me and my autistic boyfriend around the nighboorhood in her van while we try to doodge it. I spoke to my counsiler, and she says maybe its jelousy she has with my (im 24) relationship i have with my boyfriend, with the stock, lies ect. People suggest shes the one going through my mail when im not around. People in the neighbhood wants to avoid her but she seems to find ways to get around that. Maybe jelousy is the link to a stocker maybe, just saying.
tia - 4-Sep-16 @ 4:20 AM
My mother has endured 10 years of living next door to a DIY fanatic.The wife is like a Rottweiler and we have both suffered verbal abuse.The husband has taken over the neighbourhood - he has signs saying private everywhere.They are loud, brash and aggressive.And all that we can hope for is that they eventually move.It is sooooo stressful for my mother and me.Why should we keep diaries, report their behaviour - that would just be something for them to feed off. Yes, bottom feeders that's what they are.
StressedOut - 24-Aug-16 @ 11:45 AM
GODZILLA - Your Question:
MY NIEGH BOR IS REAL OLD BAG SHE KEEPS PUTING NOTES IN MY LETTER BOX ABOUT THE STATE OF MY GARDEN WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP HER?

Our Response:
Is your garden very untidy? Maybe she feels very upset if it is and she has to live next door to it. Do you need help with your garden? Sometimes local voluntary groups will come and help if you need it.
ProblemNeighbours - 17-Aug-16 @ 10:30 AM
MY NIEGH BOR IS REAL OLD BAG SHE KEEPS PUTING NOTES IN MY LETTER BOX ABOUT THE STATE OF MY GARDEN WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP HER?
GODZILLA - 16-Aug-16 @ 11:04 AM
I met a woman at a local restaurant a few months ago after the father of my children left us. I didn't think anything about it until yesterday when found out she is one of my neighbors. She asked me to babysit her kids (we are strangers, I don't even know her name) and invited my children and I to meet her kids. Meeting her kids was a way to get me out of my house so that she could tell me that we were now dating, that she will make me a good wife, and to tell me that we would be sleeping together that night. I told her that I was not interested in any relationship at all because in the past six months I had been molested several times. She keeps telling me that sleeping with her will fix everything and that her girlfriend won't have to know. She came over tonight demanding to know where I had been all day and telling me that she would be back later to sleep with me. I am not interested in girls nor am I over the father of my children but that seems to make no difference to her. I have no idea what to do. I tried being polite but she just does not seem to understand no, no many how many times it's said or how it's said and I'm afraid she will take things further if I keep denying her. What do I do?
Sabrina - 14-Aug-16 @ 5:18 AM
My mother has a neighbour that always has their blinds closed but there is always small parting in them so they can watch what is going on. Their window is directly in line with my mother's bedroom window. She has to almost keep her bedroom blinds constantly closed especially at night as this is when the neighbour's blinds start twitching. When I visit my mother every day, as soon as they hear the gate opening, the parting in the blinds gets moved around until they can see what's going on. I have looked up and the gap in the blinds gets closed quickly. I think it is the daughters room but she doesnt seem to have any friends or go out unless it is with her mother. She is around 17 year old but doesn't miss a thing. I've been in my mother's kitchen having a cup of tea and their bedroom window can be seen from there and if there is the slightest noise outside the blinds are flicked both ways from left to right to see who or what it is. My mother lives on her own and is elderly and feels intimidated by this watching. She is now concious of it any time she moved near a window or goes out to her garden. I really feel like reporting them to somewhere but I wouldn't know where to start.
Samm - 20-Jul-16 @ 3:49 PM
Girls- Your Question:
Iv lived in my house 9 yrs in a grove my bathroom window faces a nabours living room window and the last 4 5 weeks her son stares out of the window aged about 40 some think into my bathroom or living room window baring in mind they have been there about 11 12 yrs Making hand gestures and drop his bottoms and messing with his privates what can I do about this as I have to young children and if they seen it I would be very very mad he don't seem to cares who see's please help

Our Response:
Maybe you should consider reporting this to your local police if you think it's directed at you or if your children can easily see what's going on.
ProblemNeighbours - 7-Jul-16 @ 10:05 AM
Iv lived in my house 9 yrs in a grove my bathroom window faces a nabours living room window and the last 4 5 weeks her son stares out of the window aged about 40 some think into my bathroom or living room window baring in mind they have been there about 11 12 yrs Making hand gestures and drop his bottoms and messing with his privates what can I do about this as I have to young children and if they seen it I would be very very mad he don't seem to cares who see's please help
Girls - 3-Jul-16 @ 1:11 AM
I've lived at my property for about 18 months my neibours next door a elderly couple they certainly around when I first moved here and he kissedy cheek she kissed my neck creepy enough he now keeps coming around for stupid things like coconut milk for currys plastic bags for the bin even two slices of bread so stupid.so I have started to say no so he can get he's lazy backside and walk to the shops well now if Iout in the garden he makes comments about my tops not all tops just some and certain dresses I'm wearing it makes me feel vulnerable as a woman I wear these clothes as they are comfortableI can't even go and do gardening as he is always in he's garden talking at me telling me what to do with my garden the other day he looked at what I was wearing and said I hope you put sun lotion on youay get burned and about a week ago he looked at my garden and said it needed aams touch he's gf often comes out and asked him who he's talking to I'm considering moving my poor child won't go out incase they makes comments to
jkw1967 - 21-Jun-16 @ 8:34 AM
New neighbours moved in, we slowly got to know them, but she was kept dictating to us when her children could play with ours. Then her son who was 3 at the time kept knocking and knocking on the door all the time, we politely told him we were busy but he sat outside. She just didn't care about him. My daughter went over to play with her daughter but all the mother did was question my daughter about our family life and showed a great deal of interest in my husband.What a weirdo. She started getting another neighbour involved and they stirred up trouble dictating again when and where our children could play. They were so controlling. These two neighbours took upon themselves to take over the neighbour then scared my children away. Then she started on my husband totally ignoring me and she kept tying to get his attention, she just would not go away. She started stalking him and pestering him. We told her to go away and leave us alone, and I told her husband, who has no idea what she is like, he is never home, then she called the police on us and told them we were harassing her? The police believed her lies. She is still stalking us. Walking her dog outside my house looking in our windows. Why are people like that get away with it. I found out she stalked her siblings and caused trouble, they moved far far away from her. I told the police and they said she is just provoking me and ignore her, but she is crazy.
beingnharrased - 14-Jun-16 @ 11:28 AM
I moved into a block of 5units there was a sort of suspicious sticky Nose old man when me and my dad had a look at the property but I needed to make a quick decision. Anyway he invited me into his house to show me some of his handy man skills and made several extremely sexist comments about how he or my dad could negotiate furniture on my behalf.I figured he was a bigot caught in the last century.Anyway he lives at the front unit and started stopping me every time I walked or drove past asking what I was doing where I was going. I avoided him as best I could and did not take up on one of his offers to have coffee etc.Neighbours Later commented he would water his garden twice in a couple of hours. In wait for me. One of his lines we 'oh you work at x I bet you have some really good stories". (an attempt at being friendly. The right mind. You're own business.) Anyway one day I put a bin out super early as I hadn't worked overnight as I usually did.He later came and told me neighbour number 2 complained and woke him up.After a short think I was fuming I knew for a fact. Neighbour 2 disliked him as well.I stormed up to his door banging on it. and he smiled and tried to welcome me in.I'm a very quiet person and I started telling that he was crazy if he thought I would ever go inside his house and that he was making up lies about me and I had to put the bin out at that time because I was trying to avoid him and his behaviour not once was friendly in the slightest it was odd and unnerving and weird.He tried to say he was the body corporate president. (yes of a whole 7of us) and he would make a complaint about me. And my parents new him and met him .Well I lost it I spent hours screaming doe. The phone at my dad about this horrible man who I told me sad would have been a problem when we inspectedThethe place and I felt so unsafe living here am. My dad drove down from an hour a way and 2neigbbours came over to see if I was ok.He resigned as the so called president. He bribed a police officer to pull me over a month later (failing to keep left on a back country road yeah right). He also tried to say to me and other neighbours he had a physical degree and tried to tell me no one would believe he was harassing me because everyone loved him.I now stick my nose in the air when I see him and won't even look at him and will go out of my way to say hi to the other neighbours. I have started currently researching bad in my spare time anduit explained a lot..Narcissistic personality disorder but I want him too move or gave a heartattacj so he foes away.I'm 22and he's 67for the record.
Khloek - 29-May-16 @ 10:20 AM
Made friends with female neighbor. Stopped all contact after she told me she wants a relationship but told me I was lying when I said I dont feel anything for her.Being harrassed via calls and texts. Banging on my door and pressing buzzer. She lives in same block so my life is in danger everytime I leave property. Even more so when I go home as she sits in the window alot trying to interact with my other neighbours and looking out for me. If I could afford It I would have a bodyguard, she is that scary and intimidating. If you saw her and witnessed her ranting youd definately understand.
none - 27-May-16 @ 12:46 AM
Maceeexoxo - Your Question:
So my neighbor just got custody of her 15 almost 16 year old son so he moved in. I'm 13 years old. He started coming around me and my friends a lot just chilling and being friendly. I thought nothing of it honestly. Then, one day we were alone hanging out. And he got a little too friendly and I felt very uncomfortable and left. I started feeling like I was being watched every where I went. I've avoided him ever since he tried to make a move on me. He has knocked on my door 7 times in one day. I have told him to leave me alone and that I don't want to hangout with him anymore. He won't listen. My close friends told him that I don't want to hangout with him and he has basically given away the fact that he watches me sleep. He said these exact words " Have you seen her sleep, she is so cute." He's given me hints down the road to. Throwing things into open windows that I'm near. Well today drew the line for me. I'm started to get creeped out. Me and my friends were in my yard, having a conversation and he was watching us, we saw him. He seen that we realized. And he ran. Later he snuck back on us and my friend confronted him that he needs to stop. He acted violently and went home. His mom then came over to my house and yelled at me. He has been watching me through my bedroom window as I sleep. He has appeared at my school one time that I know of. I'm feeling very frightened.

Our Response:
Firstly, tell your own parents if you are feeling intimidated, secondly, make sure you draw you curtains when you're sleeping etc, that way he cannot watch you. If you feel that he may be violent towards you, or that you are at risk in any way, then contact the police.
ProblemNeighbours - 24-May-16 @ 12:41 PM
I have never had anything like it before but I'm so scared i Of it I sometimes hallucinate things watching me. Something that might stop them is this film for your windows that is so you can see outside but people can't see inside. It doesn't mean full sunlight, but if it really is a sunny day then lots of sun will still come in.
Alienic - 23-May-16 @ 10:10 PM
So my neighbor just got custody of her 15 almost 16 year old son so he moved in. I'm 13 years old. He started coming around me and my friends a lot just chilling and being friendly. I thought nothing of it honestly. Then, one day we were alone hanging out.. And he got a little too friendly and I felt very uncomfortable and left. I started feeling like I was being watched every where I went. I've avoided him ever since he tried to make a move on me. He has knocked on my door 7 times in one day. I have told him to leave me alone and that I don't want to hangout with him anymore. He won't listen. My close friends told him that I don't want to hangout with him and he has basically given away the fact that he watches me sleep. He said these exact words " Have you seen her sleep, she is so cute."He's given me hints down the road to. Throwing things into open windows that I'm near. Well today drew the line for me. I'm started to get creeped out. Me and my friends were in my yard, having a conversation and he was watching us, we saw him. He seen that we realized.. And he ran. Later he snuck back on us and my friend confronted him that he needs to stop. He acted violently and went home. His mom then came over to my house and yelled at me. He has been watching me through my bedroom window as I sleep. He has appeared at my school one time that I know of. I'm feeling very frightened.
Maceeexoxo - 23-May-16 @ 4:48 AM
I had that experience with a set of neighbours after a few months i moved in with my boyfriend. They weren't friendly with me to start with but things got worse. On a number of occasions i got accused of 'shutting' them if the curtains weren't fully opened - privacy was not allowed! They started to blank me which was a relief as i don't think i could've playacted at saying hello to a couple of malicious stalkers. Things escalated where if i went out in the garden or put out the rubbish, they'd come out too and glare. Going out to work or returning at a regular time resulted in being followed by the neighbour. I was doing some decorating and putting things in the bin and then saw the neighbour come and snoop through the bin! My car was tampered with on a number of occasions, punctures, removing wipers etc. There were occasions when it was clear that someone had been in the garden and left signs or tampered with things; there were also uninvited house visits! One of them held keys to the house so it wasn't a poltergeist. If that wasn't enough, other neighbours joined in with this harassment. After a prolonged period, they stopped but it was replaced by excessive nosiness, repeated, unwanted house visits and some following by another neighbour. It's been a frightening experience and i hope that Karma knocks on their door at some point and gives them a gift they don't want.
Aloha - 21-Apr-16 @ 4:30 PM
I moved into my current property and the same evening my new neighbor had knocked my door. She gave orders on the front garden and TOLD ME that she shares my back garden. The first issues were she was taking letters from the previous tenant out of my letterbox, she seemed more interested in my mail than hers. She told me she had googled my name ( this I assume she found from dipping her hand in my letterbox. I was so angry. Whenever my door buzzes she's out like a flash to the door. She parks her car right by my front window and therefore can see in every time she enters and exits the car. The one day she asked for some milk and when I walked into the kitchen, she had walked into my flat and was looking around the living room.It got that bad, I've put security door chains on my front and back door and keep my curtains closed. She even knocked to ask if I was depressed because she'd seen my curtains closed in the day. I hate it so much I am applying to move. What is it with loners? They should get a life instead of worrying about other peoples.
Jaymiep77 - 17-Apr-16 @ 6:53 PM
My neighbour keeps staring, it freaks me out. He stares in through the living room window, he does strange things like emptying a washing basket into the bin, so he can stare in. I got into my car onto my drive, he was staring in his gateway, when i came back, he was still staring. Same when he walked down the road, he stared, and continued staring whilst looking back at me. I drove passed the house, to turn around in my car, he actually opened his front door to stare. I hate livingnext door to this...and the sad thing is there is no one to help in situations like this.
Star - 14-Apr-16 @ 4:16 PM
I have a housing association property.I have a problem with the boundary I have only moved in 2 months ago.The neighbours fence is right next to my front room window. Every day since I've lived here the neighbour is out planting next to the fence or hoeing or watering plants etc or just banging my wall that goes into his garden.He is always looking in my window and watching me either watching TV or eating etc.He doesn't just look innocently once he continually stares at me.I've had a privacy panel placed next to the window now but he still is looking in as I didn't want to block all my light coming in the window and has a trellise with holes for plants to grow up at the top.The housing association don't seem concerned at all.I'm getting more concerned as it's not just the front room he's doing it to he's now taken to starting in my daughters bedroom.There is nothing I can do and I have to put up with it.I am actually scared as he looks the typical odd ball and I know it's wrong to stereotype by how someone looks but I am very nervous and scared living next door to him.Would you be worried and concerned to?
MissH - 26-Mar-16 @ 12:25 PM
Tired of being stalked sounds almost exactly like my situation.I totally understand.My neighbour and her husband does very similar stalking/harrassing behavior. If I hadn't gone through it, I would never understand. These people are masters of harrassment.They try, and often succeed in making a person who is being stalked look paranoid, but this is far from the case. Imagine year after year a neighbour(s) who go out of their way to stalk you.Their behavior can be so low key, that your average on-looker sees nothing wrong:So what if she is standing by her window watching you?!But imagine it happens every day you come home, for months, then years.The person doesn't work, and her husband joins in. Some people have not life, or the life they have is so unappealling this behavior gives them a feeling of power... It is a no win situation--at least not for the person being stalked. A similar situation happened to my mom years ago.When we moved, the husband divorced his wife within 1 year.See?For a behavior to go on like this, they have to get something from it.Harrassing my mom, meant they were not dealing with conflict in their relationship.Once my mom moved, they had to deal with each other, and that was the end of the relationship. My best advise is move.It is not a cop out.You are not losing anything.In reality, it is probably the best thing you can do for yourself and the worst thing you can do for them.
DB - 8-Mar-16 @ 8:04 PM
I have a psycho negibor who has 8 people or around their living in their house. I live alone with my dog and this neghibor is always watching what I am doing, (come home, leave, go outside, check the mail, have someone come over to give estimate on yard cost, grocery delivery, delivery of packages, watches my back yard, etc.) This neghibor will have everyone in the living room and will turn around when I come home and look out the window. They don't look just for a second they look until I pull in the garage. If I park in my driveway they keep staring. My friends who come over have told me they all watch them come up to my house. They have thrown a dirty diaper in my yard, put a phone number in my mail box and then laughed about it. They laugh at me, talk crap about me when I go outside, they hide in the dark sometimes so you don't know their watching you if you go outside. They're constantly watching and I do not feel safe anymore. I have to go check my back yard before I let my dog out everytime because I don't trust them. I am moving. Just recently their kids are playing in my yard now. They just want problems. I have never talked to this neghibor or any neghibor for that matter and they have hated on me since day 1. I believe their racist Hispanics because I am white. Sounds racist to me and harassment. Constantly stalking me...
Tiredofbeingstalked - 4-Mar-16 @ 10:11 PM
Hiiiiiii..bless ..I'd just like to say I can sympathize with so many comments on here as recently we moved from this very situation In question, although as observing the comment from Belleh, paranoia Isn't the complaint or Issue here... It Is that of the stalker...which the word Paranoia Is linked to the stalker then linked to mental Illness.. People have to understand someones situation before they can judge on medical grounds as these people do really exist and It's very annoying having to run out to mow the lawn while they take their children to school...but at least you get a some peace... I sympathize with you all on genuine grounds as we weren't pot smokers ...It was them who were the potty smokers In this case and we certainly wasn't paranoid... Be aware that they will have a cover up mission by trying to make yourselves feel the bad ones & the only advice I can give are try to do your activities when they are doing something else, be out when they are in, maybe change your routine around a lot, keep a note of their weird behaviour...never feel self guilt for ignoring them or only a quick Hi .. as the nicer they may seem the more knowledge they become about you...This could be a problem...although you have nothing to hide anyway the situation only gets worse...When their children walk up & down on your wall all day shouting and screaming we also had stones thrown & the whole family also sit on your wall so they can peep into your kitchen window constantly ...it Is a tiny bit annoying...It went on for years, they never stopped harrassing us ...so was sooo pleased we found ourselves In a position to move... Soooo free from that stressful situatiion, would recommend a couple of shots of Brandy In the evening to relax! There are some difficult situations out there and people have to experience them to understand, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone... best wishes you guys!! X
MG - 29-Feb-16 @ 9:55 AM
I live in a set of townhouses and across the parking lot (the next row of houses), the man who lives there looks through his window into my kitchen window and also my neighbors window and watching her when she is going out for a smoke (the whole time she is out there or my mother and I are in the kitchen).This has been going on for a couple months now and it happens almost every night around the same time of 5-9ish.Also the man stands there shirtless and just watches.I am just so confused as to what I should do or if it is even considered "stalking".We have drapes that partially cover our window so it is possible to see in (we are changing that soon), so i know not to stand in the window but even when we leave the house he is there watching and it is progressively becoming more and more creepy and I don't know what to do.It has almost gotten to the point where my mom doesn't want me to go outside by myself when he is out there.Does anybody have any advice on what we should do?
molly022 - 16-Feb-16 @ 10:25 PM
I have a one life troll next door....! Arm your self with a digital video recorder, night vision cameras, PTZ are best. Arm your self with three smart phones with a plug in roxy microphone to record any noise. Phone one for personal use, phone two to record evening noise, and phone three to recored when you sleep to the time you leave for work. Never make personal phone calls at home, they are listening. If you fined you having a problem with wifi, they are probably using baby monitors against you. Always use cabled equipment not wifi, to stay safer. Move if you can, no one wants to live next to these people. They will never stop, your stuff is not safe if it is not protected. And you also may not be safe. Believe me! Life trolls are not right in the head, they will use anything in their power to make your life a living hell. It's quite sad that a person could be such a sad act. Remember it's them, not you that's messed up in the head! Tell the police and the environmental agency. Keep a diary, but remember that it all come down to this. Move, or you must stay and fight them, but it's all going to be down to you. You can win if they mess up given time. Take them to court yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you. The police can only act if they commit a criminal act, and if you have cctv or audio evidence. Enviromental health is a gost council department. They don't have the money and wil power to help you. Much easier to fob you off with threats or labelling you the trouble maker. Stay safe good people, life is about living not lowering your self to their level. And to all life trolls, your all going to hell.
Banished - 11-Feb-16 @ 11:31 PM
jade - Your Question:
The man downstairs is stalking me and my housing association will do nothing about it, he has admitted to doing some things but they take his side a lot because he is old and they constantly close the ASB I log against him. Just today I was packing stuff in my car and he stands at the window watching me, everytime I open my bathroom window he goes in the garden to look up at my window and he has followed me to the end of the road. They keep saying he is making "noise complaints" about me but how does this mean its okay for him to stalk me? lets say I was making noise, so his stalking behavior is justified to them because I am making UNPROVEN noise? Should I just go to the police? this has been going on for a year now, he used to flush his toilet as well every time I was in the bathroom but I KNOW if I told anyone this they would think I was crazy.

Our Response:
If you feel this is genuine stalking you should contact the police (on a non-emergency number) not the Housing Association
ProblemNeighbours - 11-Feb-16 @ 9:33 AM
@angie they must have got hold of your post some how. Have any letters not been delivered?
jade - 9-Feb-16 @ 1:25 AM
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