Sometimes it can be difficult to resolve a dispute, particularly if one of the parties is not prepared to compromise. Unfortunately if you are neighbours, the problem is unlikely to simply go away by itself.
If you have unsuccessfully tried speaking to and/or writing to your neighbour, you may need a more formal meeting, or even professional help to resolve the dispute. A mediator may be able to help keep any discussion on track (essentially refereeing the discussion) and so assist to resolve the matter.
If you want to go to mediation, you will need your neighbour's agreement to try this method of dispute resolution. Talk to your neighbour
Initially, try speaking to your neighbour to explain that you think a meeting or mediation may be the best way forward. If they always seem to be out, or you are no longer on speaking terms, try sending them an informal note. If that does not have the desired effect, try sending a more formal letter.
To assist, a template informal note and more formal letter are below:
Template informal note
Dear [name]
As you are aware, we have had a dispute over [brief summary - eg use of the shared driveway]. Whilst we disagree over this matter, we are neighbours and so do need to try to resolve this issue. I think that [a more formal meeting to clear the air / professional help from a mediator] may be the best way forward.
Please can you confirm that you are willing to [meet up / attend mediation]?
Best wishes,
[Name] [Your house number]
Template more formal letter
[Your Address]
[Neighbour's name] [Address / 'Delivered by hand']
[Date]
Dear [Neighbour's name]/[If unknown, just address as 'Dear Neighbour'],
Re: Dispute regarding [summary of problem - eg use of shared driveway]
As you are aware, I live at [address], next door. I am writing in relation to the ongoing dispute that we have over [brief details of problem - eg use of the shared driveway including number of cars that we can each park on the driveway and where these can be parked to avoid blocking each other in].
I have previously tried to speak to you informally about this problem, and have also written to you. Unfortunately the problem is still ongoing.
We are neighbours and so I am keen to resolve this matter amicably. I would therefore request that we meet to discuss the problem more formally and try to reach a resolution.
[CHOOSE MOST SUITABLE OPTION]:
I would request that we meet at [location - eg a local public house or cafe at a time when you could quietly talk about the issue] on [date] at [time]. If you are unable to make this date/time, please let me know when would be more convenient for you.
[OR]
I would request that we attend mediation with [name of mediation service - if in England and Wales you can search for one at Civil Mediation]. A mediator is an experienced independent party who acts as a sort of referee to the dispute. There is a fee for this service, which I would offer to split equally. This will usually cost less than if we were both to hire solicitors and take legal action.
Please confirm your agreement to the above meeting [and fees - if mediation]. I am keen to resolve this issue.
Yours sincerely,
[Your signature] [Your name]
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for the past 10 years i have lived with my wife in an upstairs flat in loveclough and the neigbourhood was a very respectable pleasant place the neighbour underneath us was a saint then he dicided to move out and the flat came unoccupied for a length of time.
Then one day this man pulls up in a car rough looking so he moved in an ever since then our lifes has been hell first of all he started playing loud music late at night which we had to go through the housing association so he got a warning for that then it stopped second he set his kitchen on fire in the middle of the night we had the fire brigade up the fire alarms was going off in our flat and was filled with smoke i have to get up at 4am to go to work . by the way the housing did not do anything about this. we usually park our cars at the front of the property as i had to put cctv up because one night he came back late with a woman in a taxi and she began writing on our cars the words( saying i see you )
meaning to our cctv we confronted them about this an we told the council about it nothing was done yet again. then his next move was when we went out he would move his car in where we would park just to spite us because he knew that most of the time we would park there so he would do it just to get us to say somethingbut we would laugh it off because we knew what he was doing i try to look after the neighbourhood by cleaning the area and we look after an old lady at the end of our block she is like my mother used to be very lovely and every friday she likes to come along to our flat to have tea just once a week as she is 87 years young he has never cleaned his doorway since he moved in leaves an everything build up and it is an ajoining path to his front door and my steps to my flat he just kicks them aroundall the time since he has been in the flat he has never once got a brush on it to clean it i have done it so my old neighbour does not slip in case she dicides to call when she needs us also to keep the place looking nice an clean well the leaves and papers are building up again in his door way and i dicided to go out and clean the doorway down as he will not do anything he just sits in the flat all day spying on us through his key hole in the door this day i was brushing the path and as i was cleaning he came to open his door andsaid i was brushing the leaves up to his door so it got heated as i am really losing my patients with him you see he does not work and he sits in the flat all day to try and goed us into doing something i think he wants me to lose my rag completely so i will hit him and then he can have me on an assault charge with the police i think this is his intention but i am normally really a calm guy and will not rise to him but now my patients is wairing thin an i dont know what to do as the council will not help us or anti social they just say write a form this is the first time i have been able to talk about it and it gets me an my wife stressed me mainly a
ollie - 13-Mar-21 @ 5:02 PM
for the past 10 years i have lived with my wife in an upstairs flat in loveclough and the neigbourhood was a very respectable pleasant place the neighbour underneath us was a saint then he dicided to move out and the flat came unoccupied for a length of time.
Then one day this man pulls up in a car rough looking so he moved in an ever since then our lifes has been hell first of all he started playing loud music late at night which we had to go through the housing association so he got a warning for that then it stopped second he set his kitchen on fire in the middle of the night we had the fire brigade up the fire alarms was going off in our flat and was filled with smoke i have to get up at 4am to go to work . by the way the housing did not do anything about this. we usually park our cars at the front of the property as i had to put cctv up because one night he came back late with a woman in a taxi and she began writing on our cars the words( saying i see you )
meaning to our cctv we confronted them about this an we told the council about it nothing was done yet again. then his next move was when we went out he would move his car in where we would park just to spite us because he knew that most of the time we would park there so he would do it just to get us to say somethingbut we would laugh it off because we knew what he was doing i try to look after the neighbourhood by cleaning the area and we look after an old lady at the end of our block she is like my mother used to be very lovely and every friday she likes to come along to our flat to have tea just once a week as she is 87 years young he has never cleaned his doorway since he moved in leaves an everything build up and it is an ajoining path to his front door and my steps to my flat he just kicks them aroundall the time since he has been in the flat he has never once got a brush on it to clean it i have done it so my old neighbour does not slip in case she dicides to call when she needs us also to keep the place looking nice an clean well the leaves and papers are building up again in his door way and i dicided to go out and clean the doorway down as he will not do anything he just sits in the flat all day spying on us through his key hole in the door this day i was brushing the path and as i was cleaning he came to open his door andsaid i was brushing the leaves up to his door so it got heated as i am really losing my patients with him you see he does not work and he sits in the flat all day to try and goed us into doing something i think he wants me to lose my rag completely so i will hit him and then he can have me on an assault charge with the police i think this is his intention but i am normally really a calm guy and will not rise to him but now my patients is wairing thin an i dont know what to do as the council will not help us or anti social they just say write a form this is the first time i have been able to talk about it and it gets me an my wife stressed me mainly a
ollie - 13-Mar-21 @ 4:50 PM
Yes I own property owner to the easement to the neighbors driveway, and frankly it's the entire front the house to a dead end of our road.The neighbor continues to have guests who speed down my dirt road sturring dust continuously and deals drugs. The home across the way belonged at one time to my grandparents. But they sold the home. The house in question was sold and I dont think the real estate property disclosed to the buyer of our easement.There is another access road to the home on the other side of the home. I never had problems with our neighbors since I've lived here for the last 15 yrs. And I have no problem letting other neighbors use my easement. I've asked the neighbors to have their guests slow down a few times. But they do not respect my request.What can I do legally.do.
Robin Giusti - 16-Sep-20 @ 5:36 PM
Neighbour is ex police officer.My Family have lived here for 35 years.ExPO’s father owned all land surrounding our properties but didn’t live up here.father has subsequently died.ExPO has moved wife and daughter onto the farm.All our rights being ignored.Permanently bullied by ExPO won’t allow deliveries, bin collections, coal deliveries, gas lpg deliveries or cesspit to be emptied.He is making my dad an mum an us (3 properties on one bit of land) lives miserable.Even though he is an ex police officer he is policing us and watching us all the time, intimidating harassing and bullying.Don’t know which way to turn.Police not very helpful as he is one of their own.Council doing their best. This morning he assaulted me knocking me off my feet with a green bin onto concrete ground outside.Help badly needed.
Umz - 8-Nov-18 @ 1:11 PM
Sr - Your Question:
There have been times, where I’m nervous and anxious to come hone as I hate seeing his van outside our house when there is always plenty of space to park.We both have to scheduale our cars around him because he’s so unpredictable.His van has been sitting outside our frontdoor since Wednesday afternoon. itsnow subday afternoon and he won’t move it until he goes to work. he’s been away on holiday and left it fir 2 weeks outside our house. It’s having an affect on our happy home and lives, we have even thought about moving because they bothers us so much. Any advice would be much appreciated, I feel as though we do have a stance on this, just don’t know where to go from here. I just want to feel safe and happy at home, not rush off or not go to the shops because - his van will park outside our house.
Our Response:
Sorry but you've not made the situation clear, are you unable to get out of your front door?
ProblemNeighbours - 4-Jun-18 @ 12:32 PM
There have been times, where I’m nervous and anxious to come hone as I hate seeing his van outside our house when there is always plenty of space to park.
We both have to scheduale our cars around him because he’s so unpredictable.
His van has been sitting outside our frontdoor since Wednesday afternoon... itsnow subday afternoon and he won’t move it until he goes to work... he’s been away on holiday and left it fir 2 weeks outside our house.
It’s having an affect on our happy home and lives, we have even thought about moving because they bothers us so much.
Any advice would be much appreciated, I feel as though we do have a stance on this, just don’t know where to go from here.
I just want to feel safe and happy at home, not rush off or not go to the shops because - his van will park outside our house.
Sr - 3-Jun-18 @ 2:53 PM
We have been living in our very first new build home (barratts) for nearly two years.
Before we had moved in we discussed with the company to have front door steps put in as our driveway was around the other side of the house and made more sense so we could access our front door easily.
Our house is a corner house and we have ‘visitor parking bays’ situated all around ur house. We knew right from the start this would be in use by visitors & workmen etc for the private estate. It was never a problem for us.
It states in our deeds that residents with work vans and are not to be parked in these bays.
Before we had moved in, our neighbours across from us (who have their own driveway) were parking their large work van right outside our house, kitchen window or front door!
Our first encounter with these people was a very angry one as we drove away one night from unpacking a few things, he came out of his front door and aggressively shouted,
‘you got a problem with my van?
what you looking at?
I can park where I like... etc
Which my partner replied, in shock!
‘We didn’t even know that was your van and you need to calm down! Why park outside our house when you have the whole street to park in? (Bear in mind there were no other residents in the street as it was still being built!)
This neighbourhas asked about our steps being put in by Barrett’s. Exclaiming that it implies no one can park there so he will park there when he likes!
* We found out from Barrett’s that these people were unhappy with their drive way and wanted it extended* which Barrett’s helped with a little bit couldnt extend it the whole way.
In all honesty they can fit both cars etc. We have watched them do it.
We have had to knock on their door several times to ask if they could just move the van down and they have been aggressive and rude most times.
We fully appreciate anyone can use the bays however this man deliberatly parks his van right outside our front whenever he can.
It causes so much stress and anxiety, I’ve been in tears because he is such a bully.
They will not reason with us and think they can do what they like.
We have to schedule our cats around him and his van just so he can’t park at our frontdoor.
We have tried to be polite and kind every time and try to come to an agreement but it never lasts.
Last time we tried to contact them was a few days before our wedding (we needed a little visitors car space as we had family and friends staying) and they wouldn’t answer... deliberately sneaked around us and e put a polite letter through their door, also popped up a Facebook message on the private residence page asking if they could just move the van slightly to let our visitors in. They then phoned the police on us (1week before our big day) because they claimed we were harassing and intimidating them!!!
We were so angery and upset that they tried to make us the bully’s when in fact we are the victims.
There have been times wh
SR - 3-Jun-18 @ 2:36 PM
xmissnatx - Your Question:
The owner of the property next door has for the past 5 years continued to harass myself and my family, to the point now I am getting really stressed about the situation. She is a lady that doesn't live in the property and the property is empty with a sold sign out the front and has been this way for past 3 months and yet she continues, she rings all sorts of people, for example we have had Police come to the house on numerous occasions, as she had rung saying our dog had knocked the fencing down, each time the police come out check the fencing and see that the fencing, which is our responsibility to maintain, and cost a lot of money to put up, has never been down yet they continue to come out and waste their own time as well as ours on utter rubbish this woman has fed them. We have had the RSPCA out saying that she had reported my dog having numerous litters of puppies and again was utter rubbish. We had the fire brigade out 1am saying we had a dangerous fire which was sparking on her decking, again was rubbish and the fire brigade made a note of it as they could see she was talking rubbish, we have had children's services out saying that my children were left unsupervised and again this had never ever taken place in fact the social worker gave us the most helpful advice about trying to stop this vindictiveness, however we found out without a lot of money taking a civil case out on this woman we were pretty much at a loss. This morning again the police have been out again for more lies and I want someone to listen to me as they clearly are ignoring the fact that this horrible vicious woman has never once spoken the truth there is no possibility in trying to discuss anything as she starts a verbal screaming match she is a pest and nothing more I need some professional advice on how to stop this woman from doing this please help me
Our Response:
Have you tried a solicitor? If what you say is true, you may be able to apply for an injunction.
ProblemNeighbours - 6-Feb-18 @ 10:19 AM
The owner of the property next door has for the past 5 years continued to harass myself and my family, to the point now i am getting really stressed about the situation. She is a lady that doesn't live in the property and the property is empty with a sold sign out the front and has been this way for past 3 months and yet she continues, she rings all sorts of people, for example we have had Police come to the house on numerous occasions, as she had rung saying our dog had knocked the fencing down, each time the police come out check the fencing and see that the fencing, which is our responsibility to maintain, and cost a lot of money to put up, has never been down yet they continue to come out and waste their own time as well as ours on utter rubbish this woman has fed them. We have had the RSPCA out saying that she had reported my dog having numerous litters of puppies and again was utter rubbish. We had the fire brigade out 1am saying we had a dangerous fire which was sparking on her decking, again was rubbish and the fire brigade made a note of it as they could see she was talking rubbish, we have had children's services out saying that my children were left unsupervised and again this had never ever taken place in fact the social worker gave us the most helpful advice about trying to stop this vindictiveness, however we found out without a lot of money taking a civil case out on this woman we were pretty much at a loss. This morning again the police have been out again for more lies and i want someone to listen to me as they clearly are ignoring the fact that this horrible vicious woman has never once spoken the truth there is no possibility in trying to discuss anything as she starts a verbal screaming match she is a pest and nothing more i need some professional advice on how to stop this woman from doing this please help me
xmissnatx - 4-Feb-18 @ 11:17 AM
Toosey - Your Question:
Why more people don't opt for mediation, I have no idea; many mediation centres are closing due to lack of use. Am I correct in thinking that neighbours can act as mediators in any disputes? I would be overjoyed if my immediate neighbour and myself could speak again, if only to say hello. We seem to have reached the point of no return and it troubles me greatly. The raised voices and snapping over the years has not been pleasant for either of us and I am worried that matters may be taken further - police, court, fine, jail. I would avoid that route at all costs as it would do irreparable damage towards forgiveness and healing. We need to bury the hatchet and get right with each other before it's too late. Mediation would be a great help.
Our Response:
We do hope you manage to persuade your neighbour to attend meditation with you and that our letter template helps.
ProblemNeighbours - 24-Oct-17 @ 12:11 PM
Why more people don't opt for mediation, I have no idea; many mediation centres are closing due to lack of use.Am I correct in thinking that neighbours can act as mediators in any disputes?I would be overjoyed if my immediate neighbour and myself could speak again, if only to say hello.We seem to have reached the point of no return and it troubles me greatly.The raised voices and snapping over the years has not been pleasant for either of us and I am worried that matters may be taken further -police, court, fine, jail.I would avoid that route at all costs as it would do irreparable damage towards forgiveness and healing.We need to bury the hatchet and get right with each other before it's too late.Mediation would be a great help.
Toosey - 21-Oct-17 @ 9:56 PM
About two months ago my two children and myself moved in with an elderly woman we met from church. She has a whole seperate wing on her house that has 5 bedrooms. Anyway, she has this elderly gentlemen neighbor who is quite sickly. He needs a lung transplant and goes through multiple oxygen tanks a day. Originally both myself and my children got along good with him. Then recently I told him I was going in for some dental surgery to have a tooth extracted. He asked if I was getting Percocets for the pain. I told him I had no clue but I didnt like Percocet. So inevitably he asks me to tell the dentist I need them and I could just give them to him. Well, I wasnt doing that. So a couple days after my surgery he calls and I told him they only gave me Tramadol which I like better. (and that is what they gave me) He then started yelling at me and said I was lying and keeping all the Percocet for myself. From that point on he's been telling the neighbors Im a liar and a drug addict. Hes even called the elderly woman I live withover to his yard (while Im out front with my small kids) telling her Im on drugs so I can hear him say it. I went inside upset and then later that night I sent him a text telling him to stop telling people Im a liar and a drug addict. (Incidentally, the drug addict claim comes from the fact he believes I was prescribed Percocet and took them all and just didnt want to give him any.)
Im at the end of my rope with him and he just doesnt stop gossiping. I have no idea what to do.
lorelei - 16-May-17 @ 3:47 PM
I live onresidential road in Sheffield. And was told that the house I own could not be made in to a business. Only to find the house directly a cross from me as been given planning to be a business with people working there large vans coming delivering just envelopes blocking people drive's tenents living in the upper part of the house and all the down stairs full of computer the government keep saying we have a shortage of house and Sheffieldwith hundreds of empty office
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