As responsible neighbours, we should all try to be a bit more vigilant and show a little more interest in those who live near us, especially Elderly Neighbours or those who live on their own, particularly with regards to any health issues they might have.
Telltale Signs that a Neighbour Might be in Poor Health
There are often many telltale signs that a neighbour’s health may be in jeopardy simply. Permanently open or closed curtains can be a giveaway, as can newspapers sticking out of letterboxes for an unusual length of time. There can be all manner of reasons why you might suspect something may be wrong but if you strongly sense that something is not quite right, there is no reason why you should not check to see if a neighbour is OK.
If you know their phone number or can find that out, take that option first. If you’re able to speak with the person concerned, just tell them why you felt the need to call and ask them if they’re OK. Alternatively, if you’re not their immediate neighbour, ask the neighbour who lives next door about the current situation before you take any action, as they may be able to reassure you that all is well.
Dealing with the Elderly
The elderly, in particular, are often most at risk of falling ill without anyone realising and they can also be renowned for being the most stubborn when it comes to accepting they are sick and in need of help. If you’re able to gain access to a house where you suspect an elderly person (or anyone of any age, in fact) is in poor health and in need of help, sit down for a while and just pass the time of day with them a little. Talking about life in general will often help them open up a bit more to you, and they’re more likely to discuss issues such as their general well-being.
Recognising they Might Need Help
You don’t need to be a first-aid expert or to have any kind of medical knowledge to determine whether or not a person’s health is a potentially life-threatening situation. Just sitting and chatting to them, observing them and their surroundings will often give you clear signals that all might not be well. Do they look clean, is the house reasonably tidy? Go into the kitchen. Does it look as though they’ve had a meal recently?
If they have pets, is there food and water in the bowls. Are there signs of pet urine or faeces? Do their pets seem fretful or concerned? Often, it’s what you observe around you which will tell you a lot more than the person concerned will express verbally.
What to Do in a Potential Emergency Situation
If you cannot contact a person or any of their relatives on the phone or gain access to their home, you may have no option but to contact the police or social services and report this. Obviously, you’ll need to have some reasonably sufficient grounds for them to investigate the matter. For example, if you know the person visits the same places at the same time each day and they haven’t been seen for days, then it’s reasonable to call the police or social services to ask them to investigate the matter further.
In the event you can gain access and the person has lapsed into unconsciousness or has some other serious health issues, you need to call the ambulance service straight away, carry out any first aid which may be needed and wait for help to arrive.
Non-Emergency but Worrying Situations
If you’ve been able to gain access to the house and have spoken to the person concerned, yet are still troubled by what you witness with regard to their health, try to find out if they have any relatives. You can always weave this into a conversation, by prompting them to give you the contact details of a relative they could get in touch with if they were to become ‘really’ poorly.
Then, if you’re able to get that information from them, you could always call the relative, expressing your concerns and simply advise them that it might be worth checking up on your neighbour. Perhaps the person themselves might be willing to offer you a key in return for you running a few errands for them so it’s easier to let yourself in. You could give them your phone number and tell them not to hesitate in calling you if they’ve got any problems.
All situations of this nature are very different and determining a level of concern isn’t always easy or straightforward. Often tact and diplomacy play a big part as well. Gaining trust is another issue and, where possible, you need to try to enlist the help of relatives to also act as ‘lookouts’.
Ultimately, however, if you think that a situation could be life threatening, you need to call the emergency services or, at the very least, get in touch your local social services department.
My neighbor a few doors down from my condo is constantly walking around her condo clapping
Also heard from other owners that she said she is going to kill herself
Was in a drug store in the makeup isle looking for vitamins then when she was brought to the correct isle she said she couldn’t see the vitamins and was driving to get home.
Should I be concerned?
Jo - 2-Sep-21 @ 11:46 PM
I am worry about my neighbor leave in apt 4. 7 people live. There including a kid in the past 3 day I didn't hear the kid he is allways playing aroud I believe they using drugs and the kid may be in danger
Sandy - 4-Aug-21 @ 1:58 AM
I'm worried about my neighbor, his not been seen or heard from in 6 weeks he has had people come and had no answer not even answering his phone to no one and his herbs that he was watering every morning have been left to die. What do I do. Can I call the police
Nikita - 9-Jul-21 @ 12:45 AM
I'm worried about my neighbours there 98 and 96 years old they normally go to bed at 7pm they have carers but I just phone cos her light were on when dog they thought it was morning now are both up said it's 930 in evening dint knowwhat to do
Gill - 18-May-21 @ 9:50 PM
My neighbour in a block of flats is always shouting and swearing out of his window he’s always on his own so clearly got mental health problems he seems to always be shouting at someone he believes is there. He’s being failed in regards to mental health support how do I report by worries and get him help, he’s not exactly approachable.
David - 15-Mar-21 @ 1:19 PM
Hi .A distant relative has either had her phone line cutoff or changed number ,un sure which . and a close relative is unable to contact her for quite some time. This relative needs to know if alls well with her as she is believed to be vulnerable . Where can this relative start without having police visit as this happened before.
Carer - 7-Mar-21 @ 3:02 PM
My neighbour's downstairs are heroin users and they are constantly shouting to each other. One lives in the front room and one stays in the bedroom. I've been a neighbour to them for over two years and I hear them everyday all day. The past couple of days I have heard nothing from them, not even from their dog. This is very unusual. What do you think I should do. They are not the type of people who would appreciate a knock on the door.
Bmck - 20-Feb-21 @ 10:29 PM
My neighbour is elderly in her 80s and just lost a sister to cancer. She cries everyday during the night and I am really concerned about her mental state. Mobility is poor and is home bound. I am not quite sure if she is able to cook by herself now.. i only take her bin out and in but we are not close.
None - 19-Jan-21 @ 8:30 PM
A neighbour 2 doors down has a mouse infestataion im having trouble also as a result.. entered his house today droppings everywhere.. he has no kitchen looked derelict no heating... either.. he lives upstairs with a little heater.. not sanitary or safe... what can i do
Matty - 7-Jan-21 @ 6:57 PM
I’m concerned about my elderly neighbours who lives with their son (over 50). Every evening for the past fortnight the son shouts and screams at them. This morning at 1am he was shouting at them, which woke myself and daughter up. We are growing more concerned for them. Unfortunately the son/family are not the sort of people you can talk to or reason with, we’ve hadbad interactions with them in the past. What can we do??
Andi - 29-Dec-20 @ 5:20 PM
There is a bungalow across from me where the lady has a fairly regular routine. Curtains are open every morning, you see her pottering around her garden and her lights are switched on in the front room at night. Today the curtains have remained close, its dark and there are no lights on and I haven't spotted her outside (working from home with an upstairs bedroom as an office straight next to a window I've come to notice her routine.) Someone did knock her door earlier but don't think they got an answer. I don't know this lady at all and wouldn't want to alarm her by knocking the door loudly. It could just be that she's out for the day. Would you all leave it for tonight and check in the morning?
Tallie - 17-Dec-20 @ 4:19 PM
Got my question answered by my other neighbour , she did the same thing to her when she moved in , as I have not long moved in , she's just lonely , I looked after my elderly father for nearly 10 years .
Dee - 10-Dec-20 @ 5:23 PM
Worried about my neighbour downstairs she doesn't speak English, Chinese lady keeps giving me things and I keep saying no but she keeps giving me things what do I do.
Dee - 10-Dec-20 @ 1:07 AM
Dee, please contact adult social services through your council and say you're concerned for a vulnerable neighbour.
Pix - 22-Nov-20 @ 12:22 PM
My neighbors husband died of Colon Cancer a few months ago. Ironically, he was taking care of her, because she hasn't been well for years...I am not sure, because they never said what was wrong. I know she is alone with a dog and a bird and her living conditions are horrible. I have brought over food and water, but I can't do it any more, it is hard to breathe in her house and her dog hates me. The house is dark and dirty and smells awlful, I wear a mask, but she doesn't. I don't know what to do to help her living conditions. She doesn't have family or any other friends.
Dee - 22-Nov-20 @ 10:23 AM
My next door neighbor hasn't made a sound for weeks. He's elderly and I haven't seen him or seen his usual shopping deliveries for a while. We don't speak often and I don't want to knock on his door in case he thinks I'm being nosey what should I do? Thankyou
concerned - 31-Aug-20 @ 12:22 PM
I can see into the back bedroom of my elderly neighbours house from my garden and can see that the walls and ceiling are covered in mould. There has been a tarpaulin on the badly damaged roof for years and has never been fixed. He is fully mobile and seems to happily help everyone else but I'm concerned about the state he himself is living in. We arent on talking terms, I've only just moved in.
Concerned - 9-Aug-20 @ 12:01 AM
Sometimes being to nose hurts too sometimes people have there way of living and don’t want to be disturbed Some people are just plan nosy I know I just stay in my house because I don’t like people and sometimes older people don’t like others meddling also Mabey they can’t eat or they don’t have money so getting them involved with well fair and stuff like that could be bad just nock once check offer a meal or advice and if ur truly concern they do it but becareful trying to get someone into deeper for how they like to live Mabey they live in the old days and like to live like someone in there time or in the mountains not all people love modern and do things what some people call normal let people let live. Unless ur truly concerned
Whatever - 30-Jul-20 @ 10:10 PM
I have a semi detached house with neighbours in flats adjoining that have chimney fires.One neighbour has mental health issues and the other night the fire alarm went on for 1 hour, I investigated and could see no obvious signs of a fire apart from chimney smoke.Prior to this the other neighbours chimney has had sparks coming out of the chimney.My concern is for the state of both adjoining chimneys and obviously for potential house fires.What can I do to raise my concerns.Should I take it up with the fire brigade?Both neighbours are not approachable in the normal sense of the word and I am concerned there will indeed be a house fire one day.Your advice would be gladly received.Many thanks
Concerned - 17-Feb-20 @ 10:07 PM
I've been watching an elderly neighbour walking around in her nightclothes, tending her garden for the last week or so [Nov. 15 2019] current temperature5 degrees and its 17:00 hrs,
>its dark its bitterly cold and its spitting with rain, she and her dog are in the garden in her bedclothes>
I attempted to inform my local social services and have been told in no uncertain terms "because you're not a family member, 'we' can't take your report" so I called the Police, apparently according to the officer, "I'm over thinking the situation" and I should mind my own business and let the family deal with the problem...
So much for being a 'good Samaritan' in my neighbourhood...
so my question: what's blue and kills old people?
well done ***shire social Services and Police Force
Frosty - 15-Nov-19 @ 4:57 PM
I am caring for my elderly Mother and have been considered by our local council housing to be a grade 2 priority for a move to be nearer my Mother for the last 5 years. In all that time I have not seen my next door neighbour. I, and others, have contacted our local authorities and landlords and yet the flat remains empty. Do I contact the Police??
Small teeth - 14-Sep-19 @ 8:55 AM
When my elderly neighbour's door is open the smell is overpowering of urine. I think he may need some kind of help. I am disabled so unfortunately unable to help. Should I call adult social services. Any help would be appreciated.
Rowan - 3-Aug-19 @ 1:15 PM
I am currently living with my 97 year old grandmother while I am studying in London. But I am almost at the end of my course and will be leaving very soon. My mother lived and cared for my grandmother until my mother got sick and died 2 years ago. My grandmother has been alone after my mother's death, by living with her this year I have come to the realisation that she can not be alone. She sometimes leaves the key in the front door, or the front door wide open. She has forgotten she has left the pan on the hob, I do not think she can physically take a shower or have a bath. She insists she is independent but I worry that something will happen. She is legally blind in one eye and often can't see when food has gone mouldy but will eat it anyways. Her daughters visit her once a week or every two weeks. I am concerned about her once I leave and I am liable as a the house owner if anything should happen to her. What should I do?
Sandie - 23-May-19 @ 9:44 AM
I have a neighbour who takes vallium in large doses...she never seems to go out and looks like she hasn't washed in weeks she does have a mobility problem due to operations on her legs after a major operation. I suspect she's back on heroin as well... she knocked on my door and was clearly high as a kite so I helpped her back to her flat which to be honest is trashed as she has these lads staying there from time to time these lads have ripped lighting of the ceiling and smoke alarm and there is bear wires hanging out also there is a hole in the wall from apparently two lads fighting in her flat... her only son has washer his hands of her because she spends all her money on pill drugs and I suspect heroin and her only relative her dad wants nothing to do with her... she looks terrible
Booboo - 3-May-19 @ 12:11 AM
We have a neighbor who is very nosey.My MIL, early 90s, lives next door to us and her children look in on her daily.One stays several days a week overnight with her and takes her to the doctors.MIL is in okay health but suffers anxiety attacks, many of these are caused by the nosey neighbor who repeatedly tells her what another neighbor with dementia says about her.MIL's primary care physician had to increase her meds to cope.This nosey woman, in her late 80s, takes the mail out of MIL's box, looks through it, then bangs on her door to hand it to her and often wakes her up.MIL is deliberately trying to avoid this woman because my MIL feels like she has no peace to even take a nap or go to the bathroom.The same woman bangs on my door even though she knows I work from home.She wants to know all the details about my MIL's doctor appointments, meds, etc., which are none of her business.It's not concern; it's being nosey.Two neighbors are fairly young and both have newborns.This neighbor bangs on their doors because she wants to see the babies.If the parent says no, the woman pushes her way inside.MIL's children have told her to call first, to quit getting the mail, etc., but she ignores all of us.There are concerned neighbors and there are busy bodies who cause trouble even though they think they are doing good.Ours even talked her pastor into visiting MIL after MIL was recovering from an illness.The daughter was with her when MIL told pastor and neighbor she wanted to sleep and didn't want visitors.I'm disrupted at least twice a day.If I don't answer my door, she keeps banging on it until I do.This neighbor has been this way for decades.Her own kids know she does it but laugh it off.It's not funny.Not all neighbors are benign.
DIL - 8-Feb-19 @ 9:35 PM
Hi! I Have a neighbour,an elderly couple,which the husband is her carer and he himself is not well.. and they are both stress up and arguing all the time of little things. She would call me meddling between them.Wondering what help can be given to them. Alwas in up paramedic called, cause the wife got a heart problems and he can't hardly walk thus days because of legs or skin problems it's really worrying.Hope you can direct me to any organisation. Thank you.
lisa - 5-Feb-19 @ 9:15 AM
Im worried about my next door neighbour as I think he is finding it hard to look after his self he is a elderly man yesterday he told me he had no electricity in the house 8 tryed to help him out but I dint know what to do and it's winter also he has no food in the house and he look like he finds it hard with his personal care eg washing shaving and his day to day living
Simon Barker - 11-Dec-18 @ 6:07 PM
my mum lives next door to a lady in her 80's who lives alone. for around 6 years she has kept my mum awake each night by talking and shouting really constantly through the night. My father died 2 years ago from cancer and this did not help whilst he was ill as he also was being kept awake.My mum is in her 60's and is having to miss doctors appointments etc because she is not sleeping with the noise.In addition to the constant talking in the night, this lady is also very dirty looking and smells strongly of urine, she has been spotted wearing a black bag as underwear, she is very lonely and often tries to talk to people but because she is deaf can't difficult to speak to her. Her family don't bother much. her garden is a mess and my mum has even had to get pest control round as mice were coming in from the old ladies house. She also regularly gets locked out of her house and then bangs on my mums door for help.Recently my mum was in the shower when the lady started banging on her door.When my mum managed to get out and dressed she went to see what she wanted and was screamed at for not answering her door because she had locked herself out and needed help!The lady has a carer who comes in the mornings and mymum has spoken to her about this but nothing is being done.my mum suffers from anxiety and high blood pressure and not being able to seep properly for years is making her ill.The old lady refuses to go into a home and my mum is at the end of her tether because it is never ending.What can we do? My mum has also contacted her family who don't seem to give a stuff and environmental health but still it is going on.
monzo - 29-Nov-18 @ 8:17 PM
HiI am very worried about an elderly lady , she has very bad memory problems is very confused and doesn't have anyone to look after her , she's 85 . Who do I contact for help ? Tia.
Emu! - 29-Nov-18 @ 7:59 PM
Hello, I am concerned about one of my neighbours (flat, private block). When I was leaving something next to my entry door (e.g. charity bag, umbrella), she would move it elsewhere or damage it. I know I won’t leave anything outside from now on, but I don’t feel safe about being around her. She is about 45-50 years old and lives alone. I think she may have issues, who could I talk to about this? Thank you!