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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 24 Apr 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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Hi I have the same problem as you all. I live in UK. I've moved to my house 10 years ago,all started when neighbours discovered that I'm Polish. They would gather up at the front of my house and talk about me and my familly.The thing is all what they doing is always so subtle that basically I cannot prove anything. Their kids where constantly on our fence making comments how we talk what we do etc. I've felt like kind of animal in zoo.As they grow up they've change their practice,started to shoot to my son out of the nerf guns,with a plastic balls. I've bought for my son a trampoline which he used maybe twice as it was impossible for him to stay on the garden.We finally stopped going outside at all. Makes me stopped talking English and Polish.The worst thing is I've started to belive there is something wrong with me,got myself a depression and anxiety. Cnstantly telling my family to be quiet.Really don't know what to do as I really like my house and surroundings. Because im minority in this case everyone is trying to tell me to move out,but why I've never done anything bad.Somethimes I'm thinking is it worth it?
BlueBea - 24-Apr-19 @ 12:01 PM
Local neighbours are heavily involved with smoking drugs and bully me because I don’t want to be friends with them as their drug usage is not tolerated by me with their behaviour that of stalking intimidation and harassment....the red headed witch will continue to speak to my friends telling them she knows all about me, like wow how boring for you to be that obsessed I care to only know I stop hearing you watching me and driving round and round like I didn’t see you the first time, also your family I want Nothing to do with so why they think I’m their business and are so obsessed with me I do not understand but wished you’d all drop dead since you can’t seem to understand I’m not moving because of your sick obsession with myself, my friends and my family! Sickos. As for me being in medication even if I were it’d be none of your business but your the one medicated as you can’t stand this life as if you could you’d stop with the constant drive by watching us as we sit out side following us from out back yard to our front yard and constantly being caught starring at us like a pack of weirdos you are!
I’m not a druggie li - 22-Apr-19 @ 8:23 AM
Had a new neighbour move in a year ago with her 2 year old son , it started with her bins as she wanted them out of her sight and outside my door, she knows I suffer with mental health and been telling everyone I’m a fruit loop and obsessed with her she intimidates me only when she’s drunk or high and with her friends other then that she hibernates in her flat all day curtains drawn and silence , she has shouted at me and made up stuff to council and neighbours saying I’m a grass etc , I feel suicidal at times and wanna move so much , going to doctors soon to explain it all and ask if he can’t support me with a letter to council I’m at breaking point
CJ - 11-Apr-19 @ 1:23 AM
I have an elderly neighbour who plays loud music outside his house, so Loud I can’t hear the TV and it prevents me from enjoying my garden. The council have seen him and blames me!!! This has been going on for three years! The council are spineless!! He now plays with his genitalia when my daughter is outside. The police say I can’t prove it
Kay - 10-Apr-19 @ 9:30 PM
If lived in my flat for 2yrs n iv had nothing but grief from my neighbours one off them has just verbally threatens me and told me to watch my back I suffer mental health problems and I'm finding all this too much I really wish I had the guts to talk to someone and get help to move away
Mazza - 7-Apr-19 @ 7:45 PM
I have to keep my cats locked away in shed as neighbours threatened to kill them as their were pooing on new decking / driveways - now they let their dogs poo on my driveway because they say my cats are pooing still but not understand that there are other cats living in the road
Baileys - 21-Mar-19 @ 10:05 PM
This is the final straw for me. I moved into a property 4 yrs ago. Within 6 months the harassment started. The house was plastered and new bathroom and kitchen. I also have a disability car outside. I started to find glass in the garden so the pets would get cut.poison in the grass and on plants. I am one of then people who would help anyone but with this happening no chance would i help them even when it hurts to say no. Finally have to move as the police do not lbelieve me. When i ring the police they send anambulance to shut me up. All this has caused me to be depresse. All of this is because i don't work and have a nice car. Sad eh
b - 21-Mar-19 @ 8:05 AM
I am desperate to move from my awful neighbours.They have made my life hell for years. Now this morning i discover two of my tyres have been slashed i know it is them but cannot prove it . I am scared now for my family's safety
Jazz - 7-Mar-19 @ 1:02 PM
I hAve been beaten harassed for the past 2yrs by immediate neighbours. My son's old dog was poisoned to death and I was beaten so badly several years ago I had to have surgery and will always have memory issues because of it. I was registered disabled due to attack. Attacked on my own home 3yrs ago. Finally police did something. Reason for harassment? I am mixed race and my female neighbours are darker toned. I was seen as not black enough. My son become a police officer at a young age because of it. I have learnt to hate. It is so sadifferent what people do to each other. The police said it was due to jealousy. I don't agree. I think it was due to unhappiness.
None - 4-Mar-19 @ 6:19 PM
My neighbour has been harassing me for years. Calling me a call c**t , f***ing W**ker ,and the like. She has no consideration whatsoever. Spread's nasty gossip about me in my road. She behaves atrousily , and expects me to behave considerately , weird.
Simon Mead - 28-Feb-19 @ 10:44 PM
I have a couple of married older neighbours, whom I feel have been harrassing for 3 years now. They stand outside all summer, everyday at the entrance of the building, and I have to pass by them to get in and out of my home. They talk to people about me, tell people if I'm in or out and even tell people at what times I usually leave the house. I find it very intrusive. My life should be none of their business. They have been making me feel I am always being watched. Sometimes if they see me out, they follow me around. It got to the point I even started to feel uncomfortable to go down to throw the rubbish or even leave the house. I know they are doing it intentionally to make me feel uncomfortable.
Maria - 21-Feb-19 @ 4:04 PM
some nearby newpeople have made official complaints about my dog barking day and night--untrue--andmy playing "pop music" at ???"inappropriate" times??? when I do not play pop music or hardly any music anytime, and other stuff, verbal abuse, parking etc. I am 73 years old, but the PTBEEhave simply sent me a list of these peoples "feelings and issues" , ignored my situation, and a list of preposterous conditions I have to abide by!!!!
wuffalot - 11-Feb-19 @ 8:57 AM
I did comebted not sure if it been sent i cant see ny comments
Doglady - 8-Feb-19 @ 9:42 AM
Since this neighbour moved to my county and it the flat hes been a nightmare and making cimplaints all he says it not him it the other nighbours. Hes couring other neighbours to full out with each other saying one off the neighbour was slagging me off big time. Now he tells another nighbour that i have been saying bad things to them i haven't. Then he makes a complaints about ppl comes into my home was saying about him coursing trouble and banging about. And sgouting and slaming doors as hes told the housing i was banging. The housing dont want to listen to the tenents. Becuse he dresses up as a woman he thinks hes un touchable and hes playing on this ans is a tension seeker and always lies and if cant get his own way he will report us. I been in my flat alot longer then him and it ok hes taking all these drugs and never sleeps and hes been told to stop banging and still bwnging it all petty and they didnt tell us they was Cumming banging on the door if you dont answer they will shout through the letter box. And it un usual fir me to answer the door as i do have bad depression and paranoia and hear voices in my head. I am a self harmer my self. I will do more harm dead then i am alive belive me they will get untrouble. I think ppl whose got mental problems should be protected. I had enough i been here 14yrs and he only moved in last year qs he caused alot off problems where he ysed to live and telling everyone his mum wws nurderd by his dad thst was a lie his num is alive..
Doglady - 8-Feb-19 @ 9:39 AM
I've lived in my home for 16 yrs and my neighbour caused my family living hell crimnal damage to my home verbal abuse and threats drug dealing, they were recentlyevicted not known if for good and have been threatening to harm my family and are still causing trouble the police won't do anything and I've been diagnosed withe depression this family won't stop harrasing us we don't know what to do.
Bex92 - 1-Feb-19 @ 10:06 PM
I've lived in the property for 5 months and I've had numerous noise complaints for during the day and of a night - they went to my landlord over it. I'm not a loud person, I work 6-7 days a week so don't stay up late. The past few notes I've received have been about music playing of a day cause the neighbour works nights. I explained that it was me as we were all in work till 5pm. This is happening so much and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I can't even breathe in my own place. And because they're friends with my landlord I can't even go to her. I have to live here for another 9 months.
Hollamberxxx - 1-Feb-19 @ 6:58 AM
I’m being buillied by the neighbors next door but one every time I go into my kitchen or garden the neighbor belches continually and very loudly he used to do it every time he passed my window I asked him to stop but now he does it even louder I’ve tried to be pleasant in the past but to no avail I’m feel very tormented by this and feel suicidel I don’t know what to do
Chikpeas22 - 21-Jan-19 @ 2:23 PM
I get accused of gawping/staring whichever way I look lituarlly I've contacted my landlord from that angle but it happens when I go out as well comments like that's her that my cousin described to me or that's her that my niece described to me every bit of noise is apparent my fault oh don't tell me she's deaf she gets away with everything because she's deaf and recently what's SHE doing walking wound they were supposed to kill her /mentioning block of flats where I live/ and they the ones doing it refer to it as the gawping campaign other stuff like the key to remember is /******/ did not start it we are allowed to get our own back the trouble she's caused and mama mama look who's passing now it they've being told if the want to say I have schizophrenia they've got to prove it once I was outside the co up and a female said if you want us to stop asking you what your looking at you've got to move there is more this is the basic just of it
Ricky the rat - 14-Jan-19 @ 10:21 AM
Well,my neighbors are somewhat racist. They don't like my landlord but somehow blames me for betraying our race(its a stupid excuse).She likes to swear and laugh at me when I walk by. At first I thought maybe I did something wrong and felt really alone until I read all your experiences. I don't want to report her fearing she'll make things worse for me. Like she actually made people in this street to hate me. And I don't want to keep arguing. But the good thing is I could see their attitude seems similar to demons. Imagine them being possessed by all kinds. That's how I see them now,as demons.Which means they don't deserve respect coz they're only humans on the outside and something else on the inside. Because we are not in that lowlevel with them, so we cannot simply respond to their nonsene.I just think,maybe we can be creative with our defenses. Let's not loose sleep worrying but loose sleep planning....I mean,I don't think this demons sleep.
Dolly - 18-Nov-18 @ 10:27 AM
We have lived in our house for the past 15 years with no problems. We own our house, but the house next door was converted into two flats, but we always got on with our neighbours, until 4 years ago when a nightmare family moved in. From the off they started allowing their teenage children to have drunken parties where condoms and cans were thrown over our fence, not to mention drunken girls sitting on walls and vomit in the shared entry. They complained about our cats and threatened to kill them. It got to the stage that they were in line for an ASBO, but the landlord read them the riot act and they quietened down. However, they continued to be rude and abusive - in particular their youngest son and thrown garden waste etc over the fence. Last week I saw the womans partner throw something over my fence whilst I was in my daughters bedroom , so (stupidly) I went down to confront him about him and ask him not to. I had only arrived and was in conversation with him when his soon to be stepson emerged out of the house shouting abuse - he called me all the names under the sun - being aggressive and threatening me. He backed me against a wall and I couldnt get away so I lashed out in self defence and left as quickly as I could, with both he and the neighbour jeering at me. It left me feeling both vulnerable, shaken and angry that I could be treated in this way. In hindsight (and its a marevellous thing) I know I should not have gone down, but why should I be silent? If my husband had done the same , would they have acted in the same way? The police became involved (both they and I reported the incident), but because I struck out, I will probably be the one to be charged and yet I feel that I am the victim, not him. Since then I am having a six foot fence erected between us and having cctv installed, yet I am still shaken - this despite that I have taught people of this boys age for the last 30 years and have four children of my own, all of whom would not dream of speaking to anyone like this. I am also angry with the landlord, that despite the record of this family, they are still allowed to live in the flat and that it is I who is having to contemplate moving from my home. Even today I am afraid to go out into my garden in case of reprisals - no one should make someone feel a prisoner in their own home. They are bullies - and cowards.
Jetcat - 21-Oct-18 @ 12:11 PM
Hi I am being bullied by my neighbours because they think I’ve complained about them when I haven’t anything d because when my neighbour who moved in below me moved in yes I did complain about him but he never turned his music down when I did so I complained because I was mad but I’ve only ever complained about him and no one else and today I heard them all talking about me calling me names and stuff. I’m not a noisy person I just keep myself to myself so now I’m scared to be on my own now and scared to leave my flat. What can I do?
Weekimmyxx - 14-Oct-18 @ 5:05 PM
I have lived with my partner and children for several years now. The family next door moved out and a new famlily moved in. We have had problems with music late at night, banging throughout the day, cars pulling on our lawn to get to theirs, groups hanging outside making noise, drinking and sometimes arguing with neighbours. I had spoke to them about issues regarding noise etc, they complied, however after a while the problems would arise again. Recently a friend of the neighbour attacked my partner, hitting her once. Since that day, i worry for my family of another attack, and this particular individual has been around my neighbours property more as if to intimidate. Im fuming, but through the worry of my property and family being targeted and left vulnerable, i try to keep it in and not say a word and so my best to have any contact with them. I feel my neighbour will not usher this individual on as they feel vulnerable too. Im not too sure what to do, as i dont want a retaliation of any sort, and dont want to hit this person as it may esculate things. Me and my partner feel so down, and feel the need to constantly look over our back for absolutely nothing. We both work, live a normal life for our children. The family next door are over crowded and not one works.
p - 21-Sep-18 @ 1:32 PM
HI i need help filling in an injunction form N16A.being abused by someone and need help to take out an injunction on them.how do i fill in the N16A form,thanks for your help.
luvovmoney - 17-Sep-18 @ 1:29 AM
Currently living in the same block of flats as a very troublesome and violent family. A civil injunction was awarded to the Housing Association to keep the son away from the offending flat. The injunction was breached two weeks later, and now every night. Let me say this. A Council or Housing Association do not care whatsoever about who your neighbours are. Whether they are criminals, drug addicts or bullies. Most are performing a statutory duty only to the 'lowest streams' of society. Their words, not mine. As long as rent is coming in, that is the end. It is incredibly incredibly difficult to get evicted for anti-social behaviour, and every bad tenant knows that. Go six weeks behind in rent arrears, and you'll be evicted no problem.
Cosjoh - 6-Sep-18 @ 7:12 PM
I have a friend who lives with her parents. A few years ago a woman moved in next door. From day one she would do work on the house continuing to banging on walls until 2am then again at 7 am. She also leaves the dogs outside barking at all hours. When my friend's mum knocked to ask her to keep the noise down the woman and her teenage daughter denied making noises and then said "anyway your old". To cut a long story short an argument took place. Since then my friend and parents have tried to ignore the consistent noise only occasionally knocking on the wall when the noise was happening in the early morning or late at night. Especially since friend's dad had a minor stroke at the beginning of the year due to the stress the noise was causing him. Then a few weeks ago she stopped friend's mum to say she was leaving because she had had enough of their moaning. She is still in the house continuing to make noises. Then tonight she was banging and scraping so friend's dad banged on the wall then his wife went and asked nicely if she could keep the noise down only to get the response"oh you're moaning again are you. Why should I and besides you're old" and started laughing. Can anyone advise us as to what to do please?
Ab 67 - 5-Sep-18 @ 11:42 PM
I have a learning difficulties uncleand an aunt who is 80 years old live in coucil flat. They are brother and sister. He is a smoker. They both speak a little bit loudly due to natural hearing problems. I have noticed that one of their negibour keep blaming and targeting them by sayingthey always speak loudly and they slam the door. That is not ture I stay with them. so I know my aunt and uncle.they do not slam the door and they close the door very gently. My uncle woke up at 5:30 pm to smoke cigarette and I do not woke up as he open the door to go out and close the door. If he slam the door , I would wake up first. She can hear he slam the door at 5:30pm and it woke herup. If he slam the door very loudly, other negibours and I also wake up too. But other negibours also not far from my aunt.and uncle flat. But they do not wake up. My aunt and uncle are Asian and speak very little English. So They know my aunt and uncle cannot defend for themselves or to complain about them to police or council. I also heard other negibours slam their door when they close the door from living room. She does not complain but she only complain my aunt and uncle. So how do I stop? I need your help
Sky - 4-Sep-18 @ 8:50 PM
I recently have become the target of bullying in the block of flats I have been living in and I am not sure what to do!A woman moved in 6 months ago who became friends with another woman who lives here and they both constantly would sit in the only entrance to the block and would leave their garbage as well as smoke constantly under my window.I asked them many times to please not do this for the general consideration of all who live here.I asked them to please not block the door and pick up the garbage.The new woman has since lost it on me several times for closing the door (it closes on it's own unless propped open and many other people in the building close it not just me). I guess b/c I said something to her in person she has targeted me and blamed me for everyone's complaints about her (as others have written letters to her rather than confronted her in person).She deliberately chain smokes under the window, refused to move when I try to go inside she completely blocks the entrance so I have to walk over her and her friend or her son.This week she has taken up to getting a group of other women from the other block of flats to sit under my other window for hours drinking and smoking.All of them have their own green space but deliberately are sitting under my window to intimidate me, I don't know what to do as if I confront them there is a gang of them and I don't feel safe, I don't know what to do as they are making my life at home hell and I'm afraid to go outside when they are there.I also don't understand why they have decided to pick on me, normally I am a really quiet person who minds my own business.I only asked them to clean up their mess b/c it was getting really out of hand.
Slata1979 - 3-Sep-18 @ 9:07 PM
I have a neighbour from hell living next door with her partner and kids. Since I was trying to help a young person with serious mental health problems a year ago who sadly I have now had to have a restraining order placed upon my next door neighbour has started a hate campaign about me in my street where I have lived for approx 3 years longer than her. She continuosly spreads malicious untruths amongst the other neighbours making it now impossible for me to walk past any of their houses which as I am disabled is difficult due to them continuosly being outside their properties and the atmosphere is intimidating. I have been accused of numerous things along with reporting her to social services which I wouldn't have wasted a call and reporting another neighbour to the RSPCA neither of which I have done but she has a hate offensive against me which is making it intolerable to live in my own home. I am a quiet single person who is probably picked on as don't have a man in my life to support me with this matter. I am in tears most days as feel total injustice to be accused of things I have never done. I have no idea where to turn to get help on this matter
Shay - 28-Aug-18 @ 9:45 PM
Moved. In. Semi detached. May last year.Next door. Has been a night mare phoned police to say there was disturbance in my housepolice came one 1 o’clock in morning my children all in bed.To ba calm house to see there was no disturbanceto phoning tency before that she knocked my door or called me to complaine she could hear the children. And shouted at me for my 2 year old throwing is. Garden toys over the gardenshe then started screaming in my face saying she could hear all my business I then stoped talking reported her behaviour to council who investigated then closed case opened it up brcause she phoned then. There was. Basically saying that why are those people you have moved next door. She reported me talking my 2 year old out at 830 in night. In car journey. Saying my partner leaves my house at 430 and she can hear him.He was going to work saying I slam door and we are having domestics this is not true.Talking. To every one like she is the victim.People are. Not talking to us.And staring at are house the other nearbours next door are best friendsso are having difficult time off them and have said to me we just can’t get used to u.I. Am determined not to leave.And stand my ground has I have done nothing wrong.
Sadie123 - 26-Aug-18 @ 3:12 AM
Hi everyone I recently moved home in may this y at since moving in my neighbours constantly harass and bully my self and my kids call my 8 year old son a weirdo and a brat I’m an unfit mother I have community safety on the case police Scotland and victim support my kids can’t play in there rooms after school because they bang up slam doors come to my front door shouting in my fav now effecting my mental health to the stage o struggle to keep food down have picnic attacks high blood pressure and can’t sleep much due to the stress does anyone know anything else I can do to resolve this
Miss x - 17-Aug-18 @ 2:26 AM
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