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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 23 Oct 2021 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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My bullies are Father son combo. Very crafty.. predator....antisocial... opportunist.. petty, low life thieves. At the beginning I gave them food,money groceries, whatever they wanted.Then another neighbour informs me that son trespassed on my property trying to evade police. When I confronted father and son they denied it at first then disregarded it.its been a year of me fighting myself to not go over and smash them. The father is a 60 something can't tell he is alcoholic and son 33ish can't tell drug addict...and I am a 60 year old woman.. to old to go prison mind you I don't have a record so I wonder what I could get away with. After a drunk yelling session which ended with two respected middle aged brother neighbours telling off father and son. So maybe now I can get back to ignoring them. Thanks to all who have shared. I do hope you all find your knights in shinning amour. All good to you us all
Teina - 23-Oct-21 @ 1:08 PM
Hi I am 64 chronically sick in constant pain and often too fatigued to go out. My neighbours have been bullying me for 14 years ( both sides) I live in a detached bungalow. I have had lies spread around the village.I've had plants and bushes chopped down poisoned. False reports to RSPCA that my dogs are neglected and to the council that my garden was full of dog poo. That I had rats in my garden. I was assaulted a few months ago when I retrieved my new recycling bins from my neighbours after they had taken them for their holiday property. The council told me they didn't have free bins and to get them back. She screamed in my face calling me a liar repeatedly. During lockdown inches off my face I had been shielding. Next day I found conifers I had planted to shield caravans belonging to caravan park from looking in my windows. They had been sawn through a foot from their bases.Called the police they went to see them. As soon as they.left they were up on their garage roof which looks into my livingroom and garden. talking loudly about me. Then this week they have sawn branches off my apple trees whilst bearing fruit grown from pips by my daughter and thrown them onto my raspberry canes know king them over. They ate also in fruit. Called the police. I have CCTV now so they are frustrated especially as I haveblocked my own see view with 6 foot fence just so they cant see me in my garden and start trying to wind me up. They have put nails in my tyres 4 times. Smashed my windscreen dented my bott with a wheelie wheelie in. Let my tyres down on virtually a daily basis. But they think they can do anything to me without repercussions because no one does anything to stop them. I have never done anything to them. I have suffered depression and anxiety and struggle to get through every day. Physically and mentally. What kind of people do this to a 64 year old chronically sick woman living alone?
Mayb - 23-Oct-21 @ 10:48 AM
Exactly the same happened to me in my ignorant suburbian neighborhood disaster touristbullies screaming in front of my home for years cuz I am a single mom into music art and educating , they don t dare to do this to anyone else ,All becuz they think I am weak or something? Plus the women who have nothing to do but have their man work for them , r extremely jealous at my occupation ,they ve robbed me and my family theyhave stalked their kids and their victim friendsintothrowning stones in my garden , try to run me over on purpose with their car , plus turned other neighbours against me with slander gossip. Never have I met such bad people anywhere elseI got good friends all over the world ?? happily there are nice people further down.That one doesnt loose hope for the future....
Joanne - 6-Oct-21 @ 9:23 AM
I have been being bullied for a while now at my apartment complex I did everything my landlord advised me to do for example call the police, report all issues to her , but it's as if she adds fuel to the flame intentional. I can't leave my apartment without being stared at , and called name's I'm currently living in constant fear for my kidssafety and mines. Any advice?
Angie - 5-Oct-21 @ 7:01 PM
We have two bullies in our block who are father and son, they only live a few houses apart. They constantly try to scare other neighbors into leaving. Because it's 2 families, it's really intimidating. At the moment they're making semi-daily complaints against a woman that they've hated for no discernible reason since the day she moved in. They haven't turned on us yet, but I feel like it's a matter of time. What's worse, I've noticed that some of the other neighbors are now doing their bidding to avoid becoming a target. It feels like a schoolyard out here.
MarcyD - 4-Oct-21 @ 1:10 PM
My neighbours are 73 and 61, they have spent two years intimidating and bullying the other two neighbours, with words and actions. when we call authorities they put on "nice old people" act and nothing can be done. My neighbour is now on antidepressants and i have beta blockers for anxiety. they were screaming at the weekend because I walked across an open courtyard, they don't like that. no one sees the evil monster that screams and shouts at everyone, lets her husband pull ugly faces at my elderly neighbour as she stands there crying and then they laugh at what they are doing to her. we don't know what else to do.
fed up with it - 20-Sep-21 @ 11:52 AM
The issue with my next door neighbour has been going on since the day I moved here that was seven years ago. Firstly, they gave me two false names, I didn't have a problem with them at first, but I had to call the police because they began chanting homophobic words, threatening its really difficult to explain to anyone how that effects if its on characteristics. The police was useless, the council are useless and any continued reporting the behaviour is useless. And I can't agree with the information on this website to be the right approach. All that's changed they don't use homophobic words, but it's still mind games, name calling, stalking, violation and trespassing, damage to property. The last confrontation they refused to move from my backdoor. I told them its trespassing but their response was its their entitlement to stay there, (this happens 3am 4am in the morning sometimes) there are loops in the law they use to defend their behaviour. I've installed cctv their retaliation was to place a camera on me, and watch me coming and going. Its a horrible neighbourhood I wish I'd never moved here, regret it entirely.
Wolfgang - 15-Sep-21 @ 3:01 PM
I have a neighbour who is constantly bodyshaming me. Earlier husband used to tell to my parents to get me married off since age 10. Now it's the wife who has started body shaming. She is convincing my mother to tell me to do some exercise calling me fat. My mother instead of replying back agreed to her and pressurises me to do exercise which she said. It's just too much.
Ramya - 10-Sep-21 @ 12:33 AM
The reason why your neighbor bullies you is because he wants to make your life so uncomfortable that you give up and move out. Stand your ground, be assertive, it's a phycological warfare. Your bully neighbor is there to teach you a lesson on how to become mentally stronger. Try not to surrender and move out quickly, there is no guarantee that your next neighbor won't try to bully you again.
jeffsmith - 2-Aug-21 @ 3:20 AM
I don't know where to go I live next door to these people who arehorrible to me.My ex is black. They torture me. They send there pitbull out every time they see me. I've done everything to ask them to stop. They call me names. They had done this to my son years ago at 12. They called They police on him just walking home with his friends. Police think I'm crazy. I'm not. Last year she graduated and now teaches at plano isd. I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm a prisoner in my own house.
Jon - 27-Jul-21 @ 1:10 AM
I have a semidatached house. The neighbours on the left hand side they are council tenants. They keep removing my fence panels & throw it into my garden. This is deliberately done. When I put in new fence panels they move it around. I also painted the house recently. My choice was a bright yellow. They started critising the colour & swearing at me, while I was in the garden. What can I do further?
Glo - 24-Jul-21 @ 6:25 PM
Hi i am friends with a neighbor who has trouble with a man who lives on my street , he keeps coming to my house smashing my plants in garden and threatening me he has assaulted my neighbor by punching him causing him to brake his cheekbone! Now he wont leave me alone he keeps coming and banging on my door and threatening me ? This is nothing to do with me and i dont no what to do about it because if i call the police or anything like that i will get called a grass and im scared it will make it worse what can i do ?
Leeds - 13-Jul-21 @ 1:52 PM
2 of my neighbours keep reporting me and my daughter to the police because we park our cars in the crescent as we don't have a drive way those have drive ways where they park there's but because they can't fit all of them in there. They keep scratching my car. They reported my daughter saying her car wasn't tax and insured which it was. Now the police have been around again stating a report had been made she was smoking weed my daughter does not even smoke. These bullies are policeinformers so get away with selling drugs and everything else. The women keep shaking their heads at my 17 year old daughter. What can we do x
Louise - 10-Jul-21 @ 11:52 AM
Why are my comments being removed from this site? I used no offensive language and accused no one by name.
Desperate - 5-Jul-21 @ 3:34 PM
A person is very lucky to have a home with decent neighbors.You throw the dice when you buy or rent.Unless you have enough space around you, there is an good chance that some neighbor will be a problem.If you have a neighbor problem, there is a good chance that you won't get any help. All you can do is get out of a bad situation and hope you will get a better one.
Wally - 3-Jul-21 @ 9:00 PM
My neighbors especially the 19 year old son is trying to intimadate me he throws face masks out of his bedroom window throws weights on my ceiling walks past my window staring in shouts loud if I sit outside has damaged things in my garden council won't do nothing he is a black family that should not make a difference he's trying to drive me out making me very depressed
Sammy - 14-Jun-21 @ 6:02 PM
When I've got more time I'll tell you about my neighbour battles.It's a long story but finding all these people struggling hopefully makes me less alone.There HAS to be better firmer laws and legal help to eradicate so much that can go wrong living next to people who do the things just because currently They Can!!!! Their craziness which yes...like in my sorry saga that's gone off and on for twenty one years!!! is beyond comprehension.I've not been well for twenty eight years and I'm not moving until I get a fair price and frankly no one in their right mind would buy where I live.
Round 3 - 13-Jun-21 @ 5:43 PM
Neighbour upstairs started banging on Xmas eve/day. With guests over etc. The neighbour next door was already doing it throughout night in bedroom. Upstairs started following from room to room and next door still on standby whenever I walk into bedroom. Handful of times I’ve shouted SHUT UP. I’ve been arrested, sectioned, mis-diagnosed with hearing things - psychosis, given 2 final warnings, had a sound machine (I was confident but it didn’t work), being forced to sign aba and being forced to take antipsychotics, meanwhile, my downstairs neighbour knocks to tell me he’s heard all the commotion over the last few days and finds me crying in the hallways.
Trapped - 11-Jun-21 @ 11:41 PM
I have 3 households intimating and bulling me I live on my own, my property out side has been damaged and I was accused recently of taking a photo of a neighbors child which is completely untrue. These neighbours have taken over the Close where I live All started of a dog off lead and myself fear of being bitten. I feel nervous of going outside now Help me please
Willow - 11-Jun-21 @ 7:10 PM
I finally had a psychotic breakdown and i am now on stronger tablets and visits to the psychiatrist because I was getting more and more paranoid and anxious every night because of my neighbours. They are still carrying on listening, moaning etc but I am calmer and leaning to ignore it. One good thing came out of this I definitely know I'm not doing anything wrong watching my tv with sound instead of subtitles. The doctor informed me that i am not doing anything wrong
Depressed - 6-Jun-21 @ 3:27 PM
We have been getting bullied by a barristers Clark. She is a racist and throws monkey nuts over the fence. She has a spy camera that points at our property at all times and she has just put cctv cameras with audio so she can listen to our conversations. She constantly complains to my landlord and to the police and has reported me to the DWP the lies is unbelievable and she abusers her power. So wtf ?? she’s evil
P - 31-May-21 @ 5:21 AM
Wonder if anyone could help Iv been bullied and harassed for about year now from my neighbour I have over 20 police incidents and now they using the walk way access to come across my garden and use that as excuse to bully me what can I do
Nicole - 27-May-21 @ 4:37 PM
I live in an apartment found out later how much I can hear my downstairs and upstairs neighbors so I'd remind myself and my company to keep it down respecting my neighbors. Above me was constant stomping so much noise if I didn't know I wouldve thought the Jesse white tumblers live and practiced up to here and didn't think much of it after a while I heard them walking around in cowboy boots and heels all day everyday not sure they ever slept or even ate so I thought I'd write a note asking if I'm disturbing them to let me know and I apologize nice neighborly letter and it pissed them off stomping around like a one man marching band bowling who knows but im not sure why it did I let it go and ignored it while later I'd make joke I swear the people upstairs are in every room I go to just a coincidence, but it happened way to often so they must see me somehow if they're following me from room to room to make a long story short I got a Rf detector detected devices in the corners of my ceiling walls and covered those areas after covering most my upper walls and ceilings they stopped and then started to hear alot of drilling and sawing then water pouring on my ceiling like buckets being thrown on my living room ceiling it started to make waves in it and sag in places but never seeped thru to cause water stains somehow it dried and have no evidence it's them that did it and now they're filling my walls up with something that's making them wavy and paint crack and bubble in some areas and now I got sick and been coughing for over a week now and finally made a doctor appointment the thing is my landlord doesn't believe me because the people upstairs are so nice and their best tenants and they would never do something like that everyone says I sound crazy but I live here and see and hear everything that goes on so that's what I'm dealing with today going on 4 months there's alot more to the story but way too much to put
Ness - 26-May-21 @ 9:31 PM
Since moving into my council flat 7 years ago,I have had constant and daily problems with the people living in flat upstairs.shortly after moving in,the woman upstairs sent her mother to knock on the door and ask me if I'd swap with a relative of hers who lives in a maisonette and couldn't manage stairs very well.when I said no and told her that I also have problems with stairs, they started withe the noise.slamming doors,dragging furniture across the floor,allowing their child to jump up and down and stamp his feet whenever he moves around,even when the child isn't even in,the stamping continues.they watch me whenever I go out,even with my dogs. I can no longer do the garden because they stand and watch me.I've tried contacting the council but they just keep telling me to fill inan incident diary.I've already filled in 6 of them,and handed them in personally,but they said they haven'treceived them.on a couple of occasions, I admit I did bang on the ceilingbecause the noise was unbearable. They contacted the council and I got a phone call the same day.when I asked why I had been contactedso quickly, I was told that certain incidents,such as assault or verbal abuse was dealt with quicker,but all I had done was knock on the ceiling.they must have told the council lies.in am a 57 year old woman,with arthritis and a bad hip.and since moving into this hell hole have not had one bit of help from the council to stop the noise.I now suffer from depression andanxiety,and am very reluctant to go out anywhere in public,as these people have other family members living in the flats next door and opposite me.
Kay - 5-May-21 @ 3:42 PM
We have been systemically bullied, first by a member of our board of directors of our block of flats, when my husband was on the board (he was on the board for 18 years).The board became so poisonous that all of the directors said they would resign and allow the building to start afresh.At the last minute the bully decided to remain.Life has become even more difficult for us here as a result.Bullies are manipulative, using innuendo and half truths and lies to garner support, which is what he is doing. When my husband was on the board, we had a new neighbour, who did a total refurbishment of her flat without any consideration to the common parts, which had just been redecorated.Many people in the block complained at the time.However, she continues to act as if we were the only ones who had issues with her thoughtlessness and has treated us with contempt ever since.Although we make every attempt to be pleasant to her and civil when we see her, and we thought that we had turned a corner, as she started to become a little more pleasant to us.However, in April 2020, at the beginning of the lockdown, my husband and I were coming out of the building and ran into this woman’s dog walker.I said something to my husband and the dog-walker accused me of talking about her and demanded to know what I said, that it was her right to know.I walked away from her, my husband following behind as she carried on yelling at us as we walked down the road.We thought we might complain to our neighbour about this extraordinary episode, but decided, given our history with our neighbour, we wouldn’t bother.The next morning our neighbour sent us an email, copying in all of the board members, accusing us of harassing the dog walker, adding that we have done this over the last few years.The email was horribly abusive and she closed by saying that she would not answer any correspondence from us.We wrote to the board asking for help.They offered none.This woman is a new member of board.Life over the last year has got even worse for us here. This saga goes on and on.We did get the help of a firm of solicitors, who were quite appalled by what was so evidently going on here.However, they had to resign from our case, because they were recently taken over by a firm of accountants and there was a conflict of interest.They did much of their work pro bono, because they were so shocked by the way we have been treated.We really can’t afford to go to other lawyers.So we are left unprotected and it really has made matters worse.The directors got all the residents behind them, asking them to contribute to getting legal advice against us.They told everyone that we were suing them and that they shouldn’t speak to us, because it might effect their case.We stated very clearly that we had no intention to sue anyone; we just wanted to enter into a dialogue with the directors.Their lawyers told them if we weren’t suing, they could walk away
flat dweller - 19-Apr-21 @ 11:29 AM
Every night between 18.00 to 23.00 sometimes midnight i can hear my neighbours talking very loudly. It starts off with them making fun of me and then they go onto whatever ever i have done or not done in my own house. I have bought headphones sobthat i can watch tv or my player without them moaning. My tv is on vol 1 and i put it on subtitles after 21.00 pm. Last night they were talking about how they would get into my house. My mental health has taken a dive. On the 28th of February after not being able to sleep and them talking and making fun of them. I went next door and in an polite manner I tried to sort it out. I got shouted at and verbal abuse that I ended up crying and going to stay in my support bubble over night. When i got home the next day the police were waiting for me and I got an caution for harassment i was a abusive which was rubbish I didn't threaten them and I used the words I just want to sort this out. I know i should have gone next door I was in the wrong then. But now they think they can win when they complain to the authorities. What can I do?
Depressed - 8-Apr-21 @ 10:08 AM
I need some help for me and my son thing s era getting so outa hand on this street with the bullying neighbours its getting to that certain point now
Hev - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:23 AM
My son keeps being bullied by my neighbours and adults because he's diffirent and not perfect like their son s and daughter s every time my son goes out on the street hes called unpleasant names when he goes out on his bike he gets had ago at for riding up and down the road this has been going on for quite some time im really struggling with it all at times it gets me down because he's down we have a had the police to our address because of my son reacting out towards me and breaking things including damage to the house I rent because he's had this for quite a long time it got to the point where he kept getting arrested and it was getting to the point where this was going to put my tenancy at risk so I advised the police on the last arrest that he couldn't come back even though I would have had my son back in a heartbeat no matter what hes done because I love my son so in August 2020 until the 28 01 2021 when my son returned to mine because he was given an hour to get out from a friends where he was living so I picked him up and brought him back as didnt want him on the street due to his additional needs vulnerability and him being so easerly lead by others I rang the local council as when social services was involved they sorted out for the council to have an appointment with my son he didn't want to but I advised my son he should take the help as he would need this as this was the only option me and my son had on the 10 03 2021 he got the keys for a place local to me which is semi supported living and hes been visiting me which I havent been told I cant have my son visit me and there's nothing in writing at presant either but I'm worried that the neighbours will cause that much damage to mine and my sons relationship as mother and son I just want us to be left alone number 11 started all this then she got in with number 14 then they started ive had 3 different neighbours live next door to me neighbour at 11 had arguments with the first neighbour who lived at number 10 and one of the other neighbours at the end of the road also felt forced to move out because she was always bullying them so they moved every time something goes wrong a doesnt suit there way of living they text and complain to get the other neighbours roped in so it makes it look like my son is a problem and they all go to the landlord and say he's done this said that my son only says things in the spur of the moment when he's being antagonised by these herendous bullies but nothing will get done people wont see the bigger picture its a form of control abuse bulling thats conting and im so drained and tired I just don't know what to do anymore its getting my son very down and me to the point the neighbours just don't understand the harm and damage this is causing to me and my son we want it to stop please can some one just help me us we need help we don't know who to turn to we've tried everything that we've been advised too I just don't want to end up never being a
None - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:12 AM
My son keeps being bullied by my neighbours and adults because he's diffirent and not perfect like their son s and daughter s every time my son goes out on the street hes called unpleasant names when he goes out on his bike he gets had ago at for riding up and down the road this has been going on for quite some time im really struggling with it all at times it gets me down because he's down we have a had the police to our address because of my son reacting out towards me and breaking things including damage to the house I rent because he's had this for quite a long time it got to the point where he kept getting arrested and it was getting to the point where this was going to put my tenancy at risk so I advised the police on the last arrest that he couldn't come back even though I would have had my son back in a heartbeat no matter what hes done because I love my son so in August 2020 until the 28 01 2021 when my son returned to mine because he was given an hour to get out from a friends where he was living so I picked him up and brought him back as didnt want him on the street due to his additional needs vulnerability and him being so easerly lead by others I rang the local council as when social services was involved they sorted out for the council to have an appointment with my son he didn't want to but I advised my son he should take the help as he would need this as this was the only option me and my son had on the 10 03 2021 he got the keys for a place local to me which is semi supported living and hes been visiting me which I havent been told I cant have my son visit me and there's nothing in writing at presant either but I'm worried that the neighbours will cause that much damage to mine and my sons relationship as mother and son I just want us to be left alone number 11 started all this then she got in with number 14 then they started ive had 3 different neighbours live next door to me neighbour at 11 had arguments with the first neighbour who lived at number 10 and one of the other neighbours at the end of the road also felt forced to move out because she was always bullying them so they moved every time something goes wrong a doesnt suit there way of living they text and complain to get the other neighbours roped in so it makes it look like my son is a problem and they all go to the landlord and say he's done this said that my son only says things in the spur of the moment when he's being antagonised by these herendous bullies but nothing will get done people wont see the bigger picture its a form of control abuse bulling thats conting and im so drained and tired I just don't know what to do anymore its getting my son very down and me to the point the neighbours just don't understand the harm and damage this is causing to me and my son we want it to stop please can some one just help me us we need help we don't know who to turn to we've tried everything that we've been advised too I just don't want to end up never being a
None - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:02 AM
So since October 2020 a Hindu family move into the blocks of flats myself and my sister live. When they first moved in there was some noise but obviously they were just moving in. However over time the noise level became more persistent and unbearable. They were constantly slamming doors, thumping, talking reallyoud, had their TV turned up so loud and allowing their child to constantly run up and down in and out each room, putting the child to bed at midnight or 1pm in the morning This has continued on which led myself and my sister to move out. The week leading up to us moving out they got even worse and they were scraping things across their ceiling, watching us in our own garage, thumpingslamming the doors even their wardrobe doors, the kid running up and down.
Cece - 14-Mar-21 @ 8:10 PM
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