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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 19 Apr 2021 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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We have been systemically bullied, first by a member of our board of directors of our block of flats, when my husband was on the board (he was on the board for 18 years).The board became so poisonous that all of the directors said they would resign and allow the building to start afresh.At the last minute the bully decided to remain.Life has become even more difficult for us here as a result.Bullies are manipulative, using innuendo and half truths and lies to garner support, which is what he is doing. When my husband was on the board, we had a new neighbour, who did a total refurbishment of her flat without any consideration to the common parts, which had just been redecorated.Many people in the block complained at the time.However, she continues to act as if we were the only ones who had issues with her thoughtlessness and has treated us with contempt ever since.Although we make every attempt to be pleasant to her and civil when we see her, and we thought that we had turned a corner, as she started to become a little more pleasant to us.However, in April 2020, at the beginning of the lockdown, my husband and I were coming out of the building and ran into this woman’s dog walker.I said something to my husband and the dog-walker accused me of talking about her and demanded to know what I said, that it was her right to know.I walked away from her, my husband following behind as she carried on yelling at us as we walked down the road.We thought we might complain to our neighbour about this extraordinary episode, but decided, given our history with our neighbour, we wouldn’t bother.The next morning our neighbour sent us an email, copying in all of the board members, accusing us of harassing the dog walker, adding that we have done this over the last few years.The email was horribly abusive and she closed by saying that she would not answer any correspondence from us.We wrote to the board asking for help.They offered none.This woman is a new member of board.Life over the last year has got even worse for us here. This saga goes on and on.We did get the help of a firm of solicitors, who were quite appalled by what was so evidently going on here.However, they had to resign from our case, because they were recently taken over by a firm of accountants and there was a conflict of interest.They did much of their work pro bono, because they were so shocked by the way we have been treated.We really can’t afford to go to other lawyers.So we are left unprotected and it really has made matters worse.The directors got all the residents behind them, asking them to contribute to getting legal advice against us.They told everyone that we were suing them and that they shouldn’t speak to us, because it might effect their case.We stated very clearly that we had no intention to sue anyone; we just wanted to enter into a dialogue with the directors.Their lawyers told them if we weren’t suing, they could walk away
flat dweller - 19-Apr-21 @ 11:29 AM
Every night between 18.00 to 23.00 sometimes midnight i can hear my neighbours talking very loudly. It starts off with them making fun of me and then they go onto whatever ever i have done or not done in my own house. I have bought headphones sobthat i can watch tv or my player without them moaning. My tv is on vol 1 and i put it on subtitles after 21.00 pm. Last night they were talking about how they would get into my house. My mental health has taken a dive. On the 28th of February after not being able to sleep and them talking and making fun of them. I went next door and in an polite manner I tried to sort it out. I got shouted at and verbal abuse that I ended up crying and going to stay in my support bubble over night. When i got home the next day the police were waiting for me and I got an caution for harassment i was a abusive which was rubbish I didn't threaten them and I used the words I just want to sort this out. I know i should have gone next door I was in the wrong then. But now they think they can win when they complain to the authorities. What can I do?
Depressed - 8-Apr-21 @ 10:08 AM
I need some help for me and my son thing s era getting so outa hand on this street with the bullying neighbours its getting to that certain point now
Hev - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:23 AM
My son keeps being bullied by my neighbours and adults because he's diffirent and not perfect like their son s and daughter s every time my son goes out on the street hes called unpleasant names when he goes out on his bike he gets had ago at for riding up and down the road this has been going on for quite some time im really struggling with it all at times it gets me down because he's down we have a had the police to our address because of my son reacting out towards me and breaking things including damage to the house I rent because he's had this for quite a long time it got to the point where he kept getting arrested and it was getting to the point where this was going to put my tenancy at risk so I advised the police on the last arrest that he couldn't come back even though I would have had my son back in a heartbeat no matter what hes done because I love my son so in August 2020 until the 28 01 2021 when my son returned to mine because he was given an hour to get out from a friends where he was living so I picked him up and brought him back as didnt want him on the street due to his additional needs vulnerability and him being so easerly lead by others I rang the local council as when social services was involved they sorted out for the council to have an appointment with my son he didn't want to but I advised my son he should take the help as he would need this as this was the only option me and my son had on the 10 03 2021 he got the keys for a place local to me which is semi supported living and hes been visiting me which I havent been told I cant have my son visit me and there's nothing in writing at presant either but I'm worried that the neighbours will cause that much damage to mine and my sons relationship as mother and son I just want us to be left alone number 11 started all this then she got in with number 14 then they started ive had 3 different neighbours live next door to me neighbour at 11 had arguments with the first neighbour who lived at number 10 and one of the other neighbours at the end of the road also felt forced to move out because she was always bullying them so they moved every time something goes wrong a doesnt suit there way of living they text and complain to get the other neighbours roped in so it makes it look like my son is a problem and they all go to the landlord and say he's done this said that my son only says things in the spur of the moment when he's being antagonised by these herendous bullies but nothing will get done people wont see the bigger picture its a form of control abuse bulling thats conting and im so drained and tired I just don't know what to do anymore its getting my son very down and me to the point the neighbours just don't understand the harm and damage this is causing to me and my son we want it to stop please can some one just help me us we need help we don't know who to turn to we've tried everything that we've been advised too I just don't want to end up never being a
None - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:12 AM
My son keeps being bullied by my neighbours and adults because he's diffirent and not perfect like their son s and daughter s every time my son goes out on the street hes called unpleasant names when he goes out on his bike he gets had ago at for riding up and down the road this has been going on for quite some time im really struggling with it all at times it gets me down because he's down we have a had the police to our address because of my son reacting out towards me and breaking things including damage to the house I rent because he's had this for quite a long time it got to the point where he kept getting arrested and it was getting to the point where this was going to put my tenancy at risk so I advised the police on the last arrest that he couldn't come back even though I would have had my son back in a heartbeat no matter what hes done because I love my son so in August 2020 until the 28 01 2021 when my son returned to mine because he was given an hour to get out from a friends where he was living so I picked him up and brought him back as didnt want him on the street due to his additional needs vulnerability and him being so easerly lead by others I rang the local council as when social services was involved they sorted out for the council to have an appointment with my son he didn't want to but I advised my son he should take the help as he would need this as this was the only option me and my son had on the 10 03 2021 he got the keys for a place local to me which is semi supported living and hes been visiting me which I havent been told I cant have my son visit me and there's nothing in writing at presant either but I'm worried that the neighbours will cause that much damage to mine and my sons relationship as mother and son I just want us to be left alone number 11 started all this then she got in with number 14 then they started ive had 3 different neighbours live next door to me neighbour at 11 had arguments with the first neighbour who lived at number 10 and one of the other neighbours at the end of the road also felt forced to move out because she was always bullying them so they moved every time something goes wrong a doesnt suit there way of living they text and complain to get the other neighbours roped in so it makes it look like my son is a problem and they all go to the landlord and say he's done this said that my son only says things in the spur of the moment when he's being antagonised by these herendous bullies but nothing will get done people wont see the bigger picture its a form of control abuse bulling thats conting and im so drained and tired I just don't know what to do anymore its getting my son very down and me to the point the neighbours just don't understand the harm and damage this is causing to me and my son we want it to stop please can some one just help me us we need help we don't know who to turn to we've tried everything that we've been advised too I just don't want to end up never being a
None - 22-Mar-21 @ 2:02 AM
So since October 2020 a Hindu family move into the blocks of flats myself and my sister live. When they first moved in there was some noise but obviously they were just moving in. However over time the noise level became more persistent and unbearable. They were constantly slamming doors, thumping, talking reallyoud, had their TV turned up so loud and allowing their child to constantly run up and down in and out each room, putting the child to bed at midnight or 1pm in the morning This has continued on which led myself and my sister to move out. The week leading up to us moving out they got even worse and they were scraping things across their ceiling, watching us in our own garage, thumpingslamming the doors even their wardrobe doors, the kid running up and down.
Cece - 14-Mar-21 @ 8:10 PM
I didn’t mention in the previous email how he has a hose extending from his gutter to my fence. So when it rains the water is diverted under my fence and has caused erosion. Again when I sought help was told could do nothing about it.
JT - 10-Mar-21 @ 3:55 AM
I have a neighbor who is constantly blowing his leaves in my yard. Especially after I have cut my grass and treated it. He washes his sidewalk to push the dirt to the area in front of my house. He has thrown food over the fence (I have pets) he has cussed at me for no reason, and called me Names. I’ve contacted the HOA and they say it’s not their problem. I’ve called the police and they say It isn’t against the law. He does yard work for living. He knows better but does this on a regular basis.
JT - 10-Mar-21 @ 3:44 AM
I am currently experiencing a situation where my neighbour smokes crack cocaine. Unfortunately the smoke at night disrupts my sleep cycles and it irritates me during the day. My family does not speak to the neighbours due to past conflicts. What would you all do in a situation or scenario like this? I may call the police because i cant call or speak directly to them due to my parents relation with them. It would be weird lol. Im sry for all those who r experiencing bad neighbor probs. Just keep your head up, dont react badly, smile and most of all, be you. They hate love and goodness. Kill them with it. Silence...
BigJimi - 6-Mar-21 @ 3:47 AM
I’m a victim of gang bullying I live alone in a motor home up on the foot hills A care taker of 80acresbeen here got close to 30 years but the last 2years have gone from a peacefulquite life to a getting harassed by a gang every night . Sleep deprivationsabatoge my Auto I work and to come out to 3 flat tires At 5 am making miss work and loosing my job because of it. What can I do it’s hard to identify Them there very carefull not to being seen up close. Help I’ll take any advise
Me to - 6-Mar-21 @ 3:22 AM
I live in rural Maine and have been bullied and harassed by evil drug dealers next door for years.They go out in their tiny yard and shoot for hours into the woids, shoot birds and wildlife, ride mufferless snowmobiles and dirt bikes at all hours delivering drugs, push snow and trash onto my property damaging trees, play horrid music so loud my walls shake, deal drugs, never woek, on and on.Cops, there are none.Last time a cop showed up he was surley and would not help.I am senior woman afraid for my sanity, and cannot afford to move and who would buy my house next to their junkyard.Pure evil thugs and no help in sight, no escape during pandemic.Warning to all, do NOT MOVE TO MAINE, people are mean and will cheat you especially if you are old.
Beingharrassed - 16-Feb-21 @ 9:41 PM
I live in rural Maine and have been bullied and harassed by evil drug dealers next door for years.They go out in their tiny yard and shoot for hours into the woids, shoot birds and wildlife, ride mufferless snowmobiles and dirt bikes at all hours delivering drugs, push snow and trash onto my property damaging trees, play horrid music so loud my walls shake, deal drugs, never woek, on and on.Cops, there are none.Last time a cop showed up he was surley and would not help.I am senior woman afraid for my sanity, and cannot afford to move and who would buy my house next to their junkyard.Pure evil thugs and no help in sight, no escape during pandemic.Warning to all, do NOT MOVE TO MAINE, people are mean and will cheat you especially if you are old.
Beingharrassed - 16-Feb-21 @ 9:40 PM
Hello, I regularly pop in on my friend and her mum, who is elderly, and help out with a few chores, and sometimes have a tea and a chat. It's usually always nice for everyone involved. Alas she has a neighbour who is subtly aggressive and can be quite unsettling to encounter. The neighbour before now has never said anything to me until last night, when I'd done a few jobs and was leaving, she called me by name (which she didn't know, so must have asked my elderly friend), then with obvious agitation started asking if I'd seen the news lately, that there was a pandemic going on, and should I really being visiting people. Her tone was clearly unsettled and had a threatening quality to it. I was very polite and wished her well. The reason I'm seeking help now is because as I was driving away, I realised that my elderly friend had been acting "funny". I didn't think much of it in the moment, but then I realised that the neighbour had clearly been harrassing her for my name and details, and my friend was shaken and too embarrassed to admit anything to me. I'm now quite agitated myself that this scornful neighbour has so much power over my lovely friend who is long suffering, good natured and doesn't wish harm to anyone. Any advice about any action I can take to stop this intimidation would be most gratefully received. Thanks, Chad
C.Rob - 16-Feb-21 @ 10:39 AM
I have been the victim of mental/emotional abuse and harassment for 5 months by my neighbour. I befriended him at the beginning of lockdown as we both live alone and thought we would both benefit from the support. A few months in he started to bombard me with suicidal threats, even one saying his 'door is open' after insinuating he was about to kill himself. After a few more months of this happening constantly, loud wailing, shouting, banging, the same songs on repeat at all hours, the police bashing our communal door in and paramedics having wasted journeys purely because his friends, who he was also messaging, were at a loss of what to do (note: he's never once attempted anything), I told him I wish him well, hoped he gets tge help he needed but I just couldn't be 'that person' nor could I be friends with someone im actually scared of. Unfortunately, all of the above got worse - this included a direct violent threat, intimidation and manipulative messages about me to another neighbour. I sought help from the police, but the best they could do was ask me to keep a log of everything and said I'd have to just basically live with it. I've never had mental health problems, I'm a happy positive person. However, now I've turned into a depressed, exhausted nervous wreck always on edge. I dont know how any human can do this to another human during a pandemic. In my opinion, it's purely just because I've called him out of his selfish attention seeking, constantly putting me at risk and wasting valuable police and paramedic time. Its astonishing. If anyone can provide anything actually help apart from 'report it to the police', i would be eternally grateful.
Distressed - 8-Feb-21 @ 6:02 PM
Hello everyone, I am in a similar position with being bullied by couple next door.They fight constantly and the only thing that unites them is bullying this 70 year old pensioner.I live alone following the loss of my husband.I decided to fight back.All of you save up and get a cctv recorder that starts up with sound or movement - you then have REAL evidence.The police are legally bound to deal with these bullies.Let's not let them get away with it or take excuses from the police.It is always useful when someone - the police or whoever, says 'I can't do anything about that/it is not a police issue/we can't help you/we don't have time to deal with disputes - etc.Just say 'OK, I hear that and I am advised to ask you to put that in writing and sign it' (even better if you have a pen and piece of paper on you - pass it to them.They will soon deal with it.Empower yourself.
JJ - 7-Feb-21 @ 7:55 PM
We live in a rural area kidder rd Cranesville pa.Our neighbors are very odd to say the less without using much more derogatory language. The neighbor across the street had a son who lived in his car and made meth and mustard gas, often spoke of killing people of certain ethnicity. One parent worked in the Criminal justice system of the area , so when the son caught the car he lived in on fire the police did nothing. He had the connections to encourage the police to threaten us, and not even consider our side of the events when there was no evidence and we had outside of area witnesses. There is another neighbor who lives adjacent to us he has called every agency he can get to listen, they would investigate his claims. All of his claims would be resolved , since there was no evidence to substantiate his claims. We have a farm, he would claim animals on his property , animal abuse, smells, farm machinery not registered , noise , etc. Then there is another neighbor, they were cutting our fences had witnesses that saw it, our dog bit one of them . The local magistrate and Police were on their side because I believe nepotism , we had to put our dog asleep because of this and pay a fine. We got a video camera after our cow got shot and nothing was done, anytime we had something happen the police would investigate but do nothing. The neighbor who likes to call agencies had his house shot, the police came with a search warrant stating I did it because he called the police that day because our cows were out. I had video footage to prove they were lying , the girard state police told me this was a civil matter, so making stuff up was ok .I wasn’t really mad it was the status quo, the neighbor who had his son living in the car stated we did it and time stamped the shots. Well I wasn’t home have video footage to prove it .The state police removed hunting rifles never returned them threatened us, and continued this behavior until I posted video footage of them harassing us with no mask. The neighbor with the son moved thank God, the neighbor who got bit , I have video footage of them threatening my daughter and a tow truck, police told us it is ok the road is a public domain and he can sit in front of our house and threaten us. But he didn’t like it when it was posted so he leaves us alone . This is not the type of country life people think of , it reminds me of funny farm with chevy chase
Living in the countr - 2-Feb-21 @ 6:36 PM
We have a neighbor running a meth lab.Local authorities checked trash say its clean but we smell string chemicals everyday a d my wife keeps a log. This neighbor from hell wont let us use our front porch or our back yard. She makes derrogatory statements.When we exit house she comes out and verbally threatens us. We cant watch tv if she hears it on shes installed a amplified bass system against our wall. At 1am to 6am she pounds on wall. Slams door up to 3 times so loud we shake. Plays loud bass music during quiet times. Hangs signs saying BLM and were white trash. Follows us throughout the home with some surveillance equipment.Listens to our phone conversations. Then yells thru our door and repeats what we said..my sons having panic attacks and cant sleep at night. He is a forklift driver and its affecting his job. What do we do
Rod - 2-Feb-21 @ 1:51 PM
My neighbours are still making me upset. I have a sad pitiful life where the only joy i have is my tv and home theater. I live on my own. I don't have parties never have done. I don't have any visitors. My tv is on volume 1 and my surround is now on 5. My mother has her tv on louder and her neighbours don't complain about her. I am constantly being harrssed by their children. I can hear them making fun of me all day when I'm off work. It is really getting to me. I always think im the one in the wrong and feel guilty. Can someone please help me?
Depressed - 24-Jan-21 @ 9:55 PM
Hi all, Here's a message of hope to everyone who has had the misfortune of the fateful bully experience. I had never been bullied in my life before and consider myself to be a fairly regular guy with wife and child and generaly hard working normal life until now. Until we moved to a rural part of the UK where I have experienced the phenomena of gang stalking and collective community bullying. This is very subtle to begin with but if the bullies sense any fear or weakness they try to exploit it to see your reaction and to see how far they can push you. If you are a decent respectable person you will not understand how on earth such malice exists in this beautiful world but it does and the sooner tbat is accepted the better. BUT HEAR THIS, the bullies are poisoning themselves with their malice and it will eat them up. Imagine how you would feel if you were to exact some of the horrors o to someone that you have experienced, you couldn't live with it and neither can they. They are literally killing themselves by inflicting harm on you. It's a Buddhist mantra but what you do to others you do to yourselves. So all the good people here have nothing to fear because life can be and is sweet for those that have no malice.
Jim - 24-Jan-21 @ 9:30 PM
I'm disgusted by all these creeps aka bullies they will face god one day don't worry guys everyone stay strong. My neighbours call me names druggie, pervert etc they have managed to get the whole street against me daily i'm also mentally ill with chronic pain so they try to make me worse calling me every name in the book. Not one says hello that is how I know they are jealous of me and every single precious person writing on here too! they just form an alliance against nice people who are suffering because nasty ppl are rotten to the core x
Lila - 22-Jan-21 @ 1:01 AM
Don’t want to use my actual name but I’ve had a full neighbourhood bully me an ex so called friend spreaded rumours about me which arnt true calling me a prostitute saying I have diseases and all sorts of hurtful things she even tried to set me up people have been gang stalking me in cars and making videos of me they have the complete wrong idea of me because I have an alcohol problem which has not made things any better it’s made them a lot worse I’m in and out of hospital it’s just rediculous my mental health is so bad
Jess - 15-Jan-21 @ 12:45 PM
Agree with person before me none of this works, there is nothing you can do, nobody will help, and if you are unlucky for looking a certain way in my case and there is more than one neighbour, telling the police will just make things worse. How is 1 person supposed to deal with the aftermath of a bunch of people warned by police, you simply can't! Next comes even more verbal abuse, damage, feaces and vandalism to property because the people who are supposed to help you put you in a worse situation than before
Visitor - 14-Jan-21 @ 9:28 PM
There's NOTHING you can do, this article is a waste of time. There's only one way to deal with bullies and that is extreme violence so they're too scared to ever bully again. Let's face it, most of us being bullied don't want to do physical violence so just get literally bullied to death.
Anon - 6-Jan-21 @ 12:33 PM
Sad world when neighbours can't be nice to each other. Kindness and respect is all that is necessary. Easy...you would think!I had wonderful neighbour for 16 years. Unfortunately died. Family moved in. OK at first. Wife and 2 children. Seemed pleasant. Oh boy....was I in for a shock! I live in a house but it feels like a flat! Kids 6 and 10 thump up and down stairs and jump on ceilings until 11pm at night!! Slam doors all day and late into evening. When I complained I was told in no uncertain terms they would live their lives as they want to and basically told me where to go! Lost count of things thrown over fence. And damage done to my house because of their door slamming. Solicitor wrote kind letter to them. To no avail. I'm an elderly widow living alone. I'm sure if I had a man living here this behaviour would not continue. Therefore this in my opinion is bullying. It has all taken a toll on my health. So....yes.....these sort of abhorrent neighbours do exist and will continue to exist. This Punfortunately is the world we live in. Sad but true.
Artymarty - 28-Dec-20 @ 10:46 PM
My drive was blocked by a neighbour’s visitor - asked to move as I was literally going out - she said you will have to wait and didn’t move. Another neighbour told lies and gossip about the incident which led to a very aggressive encounter - calling me names punctuated with vile words. Now her teenage daughter has a car and literally reverses ontothe edge of my garden - she couldn’t do this when the bins went out so she decided to put empty bins left out behind my car and wrote RAT on the wall - aimed at me. I am going to try to move as I own my house but not easy when single, working part-time and 61 years old.
Ray - 25-Dec-20 @ 10:04 AM
My 72 year old neighbour who is female had been spreading lies about me. I don’t talk to her or have had cross words with her but she has taken a dislike to me because l am friends with people she has fallen out with and one her next door neighbour. She talks to my next door neighbour and tells everything l do and twists things and they comment about me and things that just are not true to hther neighbours. The last straw was Monday when l was moving my car to outside my house and having just gone out with her husband in their car they popped back and she was staring at me. My son who is 29 was at the door giving me instructions on how much room l had as l parked and she saw him see her stare at me and pulled a face at my son. My son responded the same and she then called him a stupid fat git twice. He said what have l ever done to you which he hasn’t because he keeps himself to himself and just got back in her car. We heard o mmb her telling neighbours about it and twisted the story to make out it was him initiated it and then said she called him a fat slob to them. She then was proceeding today to tell my next door neighbour. I have not told anyone about what she is like and she is going round verifying me. I opened the door as they were talking and told her to grow up as they are acting like children and then my son came out and again she said at leastl am not a fat slob. She also said people call us the odd couple “ not that l say it but people say it to me” which is all lies as she is saying it. I am getting so stressed now with having the constant lies. I feel depressed and almost suicidal at times. Please can you advise how l can deal with it. I know l should ignore her but its so hard when you can’t defend yourself when you hear her saying this vile stuff.
Marlyan - 24-Dec-20 @ 8:47 AM
My 72 year old neighbour who is female had been spreading lies about me. I don’t talk to her or have had cross words with her but she has taken a dislike to me because l am friends with people she has fallen out with and one her next door neighbour. She talks to my next door neighbour and tells everything l do and twists things and they comment about me and things that just are not true to hther neighbours. The last straw was Monday when l was moving my car to outside my house and having just gone out with her husband in their car they popped back and she was staring at me. My son who is 29 was at the door giving me instructions on how much room l had as l parked and she saw him see her stare at me and pulled a face at my son. My son responded the same and she then called him a stupid fat git twice. He said what have l ever done to you which he hasn’t because he keeps himself to himself and just got back in her car. We heard o mmb her telling neighbours about it and twisted the story to make out it was him initiated it and then said she called him a fat slob to them. She then was proceeding today to tell my next door neighbour. I have not told anyone about what she is like and she is going round verifying me. I opened the door as they were talking and told her to grow up as they are acting like children and then my son came out and again she said at leastl am not a fat slob. She also said people call us the odd couple “ not that l say it but people say it to me” which is all lies as she is saying it. I am getting so stressed now with having the constant lies. I feel depressed and almost suicidal at times. Please can you advise how l can deal with it. I know l should ignore her but its so hard when you can’t defend yourself when you hear her saying this vile stuff.
Marlyan - 24-Dec-20 @ 4:29 AM
I have had several sets of incredibly unpleasant neighbours, (whom I would describe as borderline personality disorder types) who seem to take pleasure in making loud noises the minute I go to bed and/or am quietly sitting at my laptop. (multiple door slammiing, bangs, thuds). However when I play a musical instrument (always quietly) or rush around tidying up, or have the radio on,there is no noise.It's as if they can't be bothered to slam doors,because me being "occupied" (to their ears) means it won't affect me as much.I have been described as an unusually quiet neighbour.Whenever I play piano (low volume, digital piano), all neighbours stop their noise instantly.It is the only way I have often been able to get them to stop their noise.Sadly I now equate the piano(something I love) with something unpleasant (stopping the noise). Several themes intersect with many of the neighbours - smoking, cannabis,alcohol, gambling, hypocrisy (pretending to the outside world that they are nice/pleasant), dislike/suspicion/hostility of anyone not like them,taking pleasure in squashing down people that are kind and gentle, gaslighting - making you look at fault if you dare to raise the issue of their noise, would be interested to know if any readers resonate with this?
Susanbythesea - 21-Dec-20 @ 11:06 PM
i have some jealous minded neighbours who have been constantly bullying me and trying to get me to kill myself i need your help they have been doing everything to encourage me to leave my work
dion - 15-Dec-20 @ 9:09 PM
I m wanting peace and quiet and no one expects their neighbours to treat them like dirt . Cheap cow name them ?
Lise - 13-Dec-20 @ 3:01 AM
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