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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 15 Jan 2022 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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Has anyone dealt with goading or taunting ? So basically we have to endure weeks and weeks of door slamming, loud music or tv until 1 in the morning. Washing machine being put on at 1-3 am and then us being absolutely exhausted. I don't bite for weeks and when I did knock at the door calm she would ring the police and state otherwise. She placed CCTV up which makes up audio and half my drive, still nothing happens about that. My whole life and cruel quotes shared publicly on Facebook but because my name isn't used then police walk away. I'm exhausted it's been going on since 2020 and I've offered mediation 4 times when in reality I shouldn't but I'm desperate to just get on amicable. When I bite and pass comment which isn't derogatory I have the police on me like I've just shoplifted. It's a joke I feel she pesters the wasp over and over , when it stings uses the CCTV like some weapon but doesn't disclose what she does in the background . Very clever individual
Working9to5 - 15-Jan-22 @ 6:49 AM
I sad to read so many suffering .I too have issues with vile neighbours . Like peaches, I tohearmechanical bang s day and night. Landlord don’t care. Police x useless. Council alsouseless.I have visions of me taking a bat and Smashinv b them and their mechanics. But I always x decide to stuff earphones in and try to c calm x they are absolute scum . Don’t work . The garden c has grown c horrible.They should be rehoused in a zoo. They Made me hate my once loving home . What can be done. I sleep o N ny settee so the noisec is a bitless in living room x I can hear them now x help x any advice
Niki - 14-Jan-22 @ 5:14 AM
I would like to report bullying from my next door neighbour they are informing my ex partner of everything that happens in my house even though me and my ex partner co-parent I am not having this and they try to intimidate me with her new fancy man which I know from previous encounters as he was my ex partners partner up until a couple of days ago and now he is trying to harass me through my next door neighbour my little boy of 7 is currently being tested for autism and is affecting him I would please like this sorting ASAP please
Tilly - 4-Jan-22 @ 7:14 PM
I am constantly bullied by my neighbour, I've lived in my house for just over 2 years.The lady that owned the house before me didn't fill in the property declaration form honestly and the day before signing she verbally told me my neighbour was difficult.I thought that if I kept myself to myself I wouldn't have a problem.How wrong could I be.He has troubled me with for all but 4 months, the 1st four months I owned the house. He has attracted rats to his and my property, just as the national lockdown started.I am a low end keyworker so was out everyday day working.He told me he was a beekeeper and not to kill his bees I was surprised he was telling me this assured him I wouldn't.A few weeks later he put a hive right upto the boundary fence.I had many problems with his bees, he would be one side of the fence in full protective gear whilst I had to leave my garden.Then the rats came, upon telling his wife about the rats in their garden and then mine my neighbour put a fully stocked bird feeder upto the boundary fence along side his bees.I felt I had no choice by then but to contact the council.Who said they had contacted my neighbour and his general response was the bees and the rats were nothing to do with him.They said as the county was in lockdown there was nothing they could do.He is now telling me we have a boundary issue as he is denying the boundary that my conveyancing agent says belongs to him and the deeds clearly show as his is not his and to quote him, good luck with sorting that.I have also had a letter from the council from him complaining about my music during the day.Which is a complete waste of time for the council who struggle to help people who are victims of noise during the night and I've had music on less than 5 times. He resently accused me of having parties while his wife was dying I have never had a party.Im at my wits end with this I would love to move but who is going to buy a house with 200,000 bees in the garden a very small garden at that and a boundary issue.I think my neighbour must like me a lot because he doesn't want to make it easy for me to move.
Victim - 27-Dec-21 @ 4:55 PM
Hi, I moved into my housing association flat with my two daughters just under 2 years ago, previous to this we were forced into going the homeless route via our local council so have moved a lot over 5 years before being put in our current flat which is permanent. My 2 bed flat is above two lower flats both one bed both with single male occupants. The first year we had no issues at all and discussed with the tenant directly below regarding general noise from my children who are 9 and 13. I had carpet put down trying to minimize any walking around. The beginning of this year the tenant below out of the blue at 7pm started banging the ceilings underneath and shouting at us, this went on until about 10pm we were petrified didn’t know what to do. The next day I was approached by his mother saying it’s because of noise he can hear. At that time my children were sat eating no noise was being made. I contacted the police regarding it then my housing association. But from then on we are constantly worried about making noise and it made me quite ill for some weeks after, my daughters wouldn’t leave or enter the building alone. Time went on and when passing in the hallway we were on hello terms. Soon after this declined and the banging started again, for weeks we were too scared to even talk incase we made any noise whatsoever it mentally really took its toll. Last month it started again purposely at night while we were in bed as if to prove a point out of spite. I had enough by then and approached him directly at his door which ended up in an argument. I’m aware he has autism which I fully take into account but we are now at the point where I cannot raise my voice at all without him making malicious reports to social services which are aware of the situation regarding him so now view as malicious. I have 2 police incident numbers but I’m unaware if he has been approached by them or the housing officer after my countless complaints. It’s causing me to have regular anxiety episodes in the evenings and as you can imagine my children are constantly worried about being children incase they upset him. He has admitted he logs what time my elder daughter gets up for school and leaves ect. It has died down over the last four weeks after I approached him until last night. Both daughters in bed 10:30 came home started banging as if to provoke, ten minutes later his tv was turned fully up that I could hear over mine. This has resulted in me literally having a panic episode and being too worried to even move around, this has continued until gone midnight with his tv and I physically can’t sleep out of worry. I will be contacting the police to update them and my housing officer but regardless of that it’s physically making me Ill and I feel bullied and intimidated in my home really don’t know what to do anymore it’s becoming unbearable
Kim - 15-Dec-21 @ 4:54 AM
I have beenharassed for over a year and a half by a husband and wife trio they have been having me followedto work they werekicking my bedroom wall at now they have connectedsomethingunderneathmy bed that is making a knockingnoise all night they have even my neighborson the other side to helpthemany suggestionsonhowtostop this constantharassment
Peaches - 9-Dec-21 @ 4:36 PM
I'mcurrentlybeingharassed and stalked by a husbandandwifeneighbortrio they have paid ppl to followme they have constantlykicked my wall at night now they put somethingunderneathmy bed that is makinga knocking noise all night long I need some helpIhave called the cops filed a report any suggestionson what to do next
Peaches - 9-Dec-21 @ 4:26 PM
My neighbour has recently got a new boyfriend and he seems to have a problem with us, we have never caused harm to her in the past or had any issues although we have never spoke. He works sometimes from home as a mechanic and revs his engine or engines of other cars and turns around near our driveway and looks in our house. Thankfully I have cctv so I think this deters him. He gives my son dirty looks and will purposely leave his car door open when he knows my son is coming home just to make him feel uncomfortable. We have lived here for 17 years and get on with most the neighbours.
Lolo1980 - 30-Nov-21 @ 9:07 AM
Dear Rory Carson I would be interested to talk to you. I have been bullied and harassed by the tenant next door for 2 years and there is no support. The landlord doesn't want to know, the managing agent has told me to call the police and the police do not return my calls. It is horrendous.It has culminated in them filming me whenever I step foot out of my door. I have just issued them with a cease and desist notice but they were still filming me tonight so likely they don't care. Let me know if I can help you.
Louise - 23-Nov-21 @ 8:29 PM
I am very sorry for all the people who are being abused by their neighbours. Thank you for sharing your stories. They help other people feel less alone. I am so sorry Mayb. I think sometimes there is demonic forces at work. Think, "Get behind me Satan". Because people that are so wicked to their neighbour when Jesus says to love your neighbour, shows they are behaving wickedly. People egg each other on to behave very badly. And when you improve and they still hunt for something to complain about, that shows that their motivation is wicked.
Mari - 17-Nov-21 @ 4:54 AM
Hi there, Hope everyone is well - my name is Rory Carson, I work for the BBC, and just looking to speak to someone from this website, about some of the information you put up. I'm currently doing some research into the topic, and looking to speak to as many people as possible who have been affected, off the record. Thanks very much, Rory
RORY CARSON - 8-Nov-21 @ 5:04 PM
You cannot use kindness on a bully, they perceive it as weakness.Bullies thrive on making others hurt.The only strategy is to suck it up and be as mean and aggressive as them.Challenge them and you will find most are cowards unless their mates are encouraging them.
Kate - 6-Nov-21 @ 2:06 AM
My bullies are Father son combo. Very crafty.. predator....antisocial... opportunist.. petty, low life thieves. At the beginning I gave them food,money groceries, whatever they wanted.Then another neighbour informs me that son trespassed on my property trying to evade police. When I confronted father and son they denied it at first then disregarded it.its been a year of me fighting myself to not go over and smash them. The father is a 60 something can't tell he is alcoholic and son 33ish can't tell drug addict...and I am a 60 year old woman.. to old to go prison mind you I don't have a record so I wonder what I could get away with. After a drunk yelling session which ended with two respected middle aged brother neighbours telling off father and son. So maybe now I can get back to ignoring them. Thanks to all who have shared. I do hope you all find your knights in shinning amour. All good to you us all
Teina - 23-Oct-21 @ 1:08 PM
Hi I am 64 chronically sick in constant pain and often too fatigued to go out. My neighbours have been bullying me for 14 years ( both sides) I live in a detached bungalow. I have had lies spread around the village.I've had plants and bushes chopped down poisoned. False reports to RSPCA that my dogs are neglected and to the council that my garden was full of dog poo. That I had rats in my garden. I was assaulted a few months ago when I retrieved my new recycling bins from my neighbours after they had taken them for their holiday property. The council told me they didn't have free bins and to get them back. She screamed in my face calling me a liar repeatedly. During lockdown inches off my face I had been shielding. Next day I found conifers I had planted to shield caravans belonging to caravan park from looking in my windows. They had been sawn through a foot from their bases.Called the police they went to see them. As soon as they.left they were up on their garage roof which looks into my livingroom and garden. talking loudly about me. Then this week they have sawn branches off my apple trees whilst bearing fruit grown from pips by my daughter and thrown them onto my raspberry canes know king them over. They ate also in fruit. Called the police. I have CCTV now so they are frustrated especially as I haveblocked my own see view with 6 foot fence just so they cant see me in my garden and start trying to wind me up. They have put nails in my tyres 4 times. Smashed my windscreen dented my bott with a wheelie wheelie in. Let my tyres down on virtually a daily basis. But they think they can do anything to me without repercussions because no one does anything to stop them. I have never done anything to them. I have suffered depression and anxiety and struggle to get through every day. Physically and mentally. What kind of people do this to a 64 year old chronically sick woman living alone?
Mayb - 23-Oct-21 @ 10:48 AM
Exactly the same happened to me in my ignorant suburbian neighborhood disaster touristbullies screaming in front of my home for years cuz I am a single mom into music art and educating , they don t dare to do this to anyone else ,All becuz they think I am weak or something? Plus the women who have nothing to do but have their man work for them , r extremely jealous at my occupation ,they ve robbed me and my family theyhave stalked their kids and their victim friendsintothrowning stones in my garden , try to run me over on purpose with their car , plus turned other neighbours against me with slander gossip. Never have I met such bad people anywhere elseI got good friends all over the world ?? happily there are nice people further down.That one doesnt loose hope for the future....
Joanne - 6-Oct-21 @ 9:23 AM
I have been being bullied for a while now at my apartment complex I did everything my landlord advised me to do for example call the police, report all issues to her , but it's as if she adds fuel to the flame intentional. I can't leave my apartment without being stared at , and called name's I'm currently living in constant fear for my kidssafety and mines. Any advice?
Angie - 5-Oct-21 @ 7:01 PM
We have two bullies in our block who are father and son, they only live a few houses apart. They constantly try to scare other neighbors into leaving. Because it's 2 families, it's really intimidating. At the moment they're making semi-daily complaints against a woman that they've hated for no discernible reason since the day she moved in. They haven't turned on us yet, but I feel like it's a matter of time. What's worse, I've noticed that some of the other neighbors are now doing their bidding to avoid becoming a target. It feels like a schoolyard out here.
MarcyD - 4-Oct-21 @ 1:10 PM
My neighbours are 73 and 61, they have spent two years intimidating and bullying the other two neighbours, with words and actions. when we call authorities they put on "nice old people" act and nothing can be done. My neighbour is now on antidepressants and i have beta blockers for anxiety. they were screaming at the weekend because I walked across an open courtyard, they don't like that. no one sees the evil monster that screams and shouts at everyone, lets her husband pull ugly faces at my elderly neighbour as she stands there crying and then they laugh at what they are doing to her. we don't know what else to do.
fed up with it - 20-Sep-21 @ 11:52 AM
The issue with my next door neighbour has been going on since the day I moved here that was seven years ago. Firstly, they gave me two false names, I didn't have a problem with them at first, but I had to call the police because they began chanting homophobic words, threatening its really difficult to explain to anyone how that effects if its on characteristics. The police was useless, the council are useless and any continued reporting the behaviour is useless. And I can't agree with the information on this website to be the right approach. All that's changed they don't use homophobic words, but it's still mind games, name calling, stalking, violation and trespassing, damage to property. The last confrontation they refused to move from my backdoor. I told them its trespassing but their response was its their entitlement to stay there, (this happens 3am 4am in the morning sometimes) there are loops in the law they use to defend their behaviour. I've installed cctv their retaliation was to place a camera on me, and watch me coming and going. Its a horrible neighbourhood I wish I'd never moved here, regret it entirely.
Wolfgang - 15-Sep-21 @ 3:01 PM
I have a neighbour who is constantly bodyshaming me. Earlier husband used to tell to my parents to get me married off since age 10. Now it's the wife who has started body shaming. She is convincing my mother to tell me to do some exercise calling me fat. My mother instead of replying back agreed to her and pressurises me to do exercise which she said. It's just too much.
Ramya - 10-Sep-21 @ 12:33 AM
The reason why your neighbor bullies you is because he wants to make your life so uncomfortable that you give up and move out. Stand your ground, be assertive, it's a phycological warfare. Your bully neighbor is there to teach you a lesson on how to become mentally stronger. Try not to surrender and move out quickly, there is no guarantee that your next neighbor won't try to bully you again.
jeffsmith - 2-Aug-21 @ 3:20 AM
I don't know where to go I live next door to these people who arehorrible to me.My ex is black. They torture me. They send there pitbull out every time they see me. I've done everything to ask them to stop. They call me names. They had done this to my son years ago at 12. They called They police on him just walking home with his friends. Police think I'm crazy. I'm not. Last year she graduated and now teaches at plano isd. I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm a prisoner in my own house.
Jon - 27-Jul-21 @ 1:10 AM
I have a semidatached house. The neighbours on the left hand side they are council tenants. They keep removing my fence panels & throw it into my garden. This is deliberately done. When I put in new fence panels they move it around. I also painted the house recently. My choice was a bright yellow. They started critising the colour & swearing at me, while I was in the garden. What can I do further?
Glo - 24-Jul-21 @ 6:25 PM
Hi i am friends with a neighbor who has trouble with a man who lives on my street , he keeps coming to my house smashing my plants in garden and threatening me he has assaulted my neighbor by punching him causing him to brake his cheekbone! Now he wont leave me alone he keeps coming and banging on my door and threatening me ? This is nothing to do with me and i dont no what to do about it because if i call the police or anything like that i will get called a grass and im scared it will make it worse what can i do ?
Leeds - 13-Jul-21 @ 1:52 PM
2 of my neighbours keep reporting me and my daughter to the police because we park our cars in the crescent as we don't have a drive way those have drive ways where they park there's but because they can't fit all of them in there. They keep scratching my car. They reported my daughter saying her car wasn't tax and insured which it was. Now the police have been around again stating a report had been made she was smoking weed my daughter does not even smoke. These bullies are policeinformers so get away with selling drugs and everything else. The women keep shaking their heads at my 17 year old daughter. What can we do x
Louise - 10-Jul-21 @ 11:52 AM
Why are my comments being removed from this site? I used no offensive language and accused no one by name.
Desperate - 5-Jul-21 @ 3:34 PM
A person is very lucky to have a home with decent neighbors.You throw the dice when you buy or rent.Unless you have enough space around you, there is an good chance that some neighbor will be a problem.If you have a neighbor problem, there is a good chance that you won't get any help. All you can do is get out of a bad situation and hope you will get a better one.
Wally - 3-Jul-21 @ 9:00 PM
My neighbors especially the 19 year old son is trying to intimadate me he throws face masks out of his bedroom window throws weights on my ceiling walks past my window staring in shouts loud if I sit outside has damaged things in my garden council won't do nothing he is a black family that should not make a difference he's trying to drive me out making me very depressed
Sammy - 14-Jun-21 @ 6:02 PM
When I've got more time I'll tell you about my neighbour battles.It's a long story but finding all these people struggling hopefully makes me less alone.There HAS to be better firmer laws and legal help to eradicate so much that can go wrong living next to people who do the things just because currently They Can!!!! Their craziness which yes...like in my sorry saga that's gone off and on for twenty one years!!! is beyond comprehension.I've not been well for twenty eight years and I'm not moving until I get a fair price and frankly no one in their right mind would buy where I live.
Round 3 - 13-Jun-21 @ 5:43 PM
Neighbour upstairs started banging on Xmas eve/day. With guests over etc. The neighbour next door was already doing it throughout night in bedroom. Upstairs started following from room to room and next door still on standby whenever I walk into bedroom. Handful of times I’ve shouted SHUT UP. I’ve been arrested, sectioned, mis-diagnosed with hearing things - psychosis, given 2 final warnings, had a sound machine (I was confident but it didn’t work), being forced to sign aba and being forced to take antipsychotics, meanwhile, my downstairs neighbour knocks to tell me he’s heard all the commotion over the last few days and finds me crying in the hallways.
Trapped - 11-Jun-21 @ 11:41 PM
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