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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 17 Jun 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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My neighbour is throwing bread into my garden ..its been goin on for 3 years..in aug last year i put up cctv..l now have 6 videos of bread coming over my 6 ft fence..is this anti social...this man has been doin more than this
Lisa - 17-Jun-19 @ 4:47 PM
My neighbour is throwing bread over my 6 ft fence...has been doing it for 3 yrs..l put up cctv..last august..l have bread coming over the fence l have 6 videos of this is this antisocial
Lisa - 17-Jun-19 @ 4:44 PM
The Protection From Harassment Act means nothing in Wiltshire because Wiltshire Police are so crap they try and avoid the hate crime being reported, they stop victims reporting it and they allow it to continue pretending nothing is wrong then they lie when they get complained about. People suffer the crimes because the Police wont do their jobs properly. The law means F All !!
BILL WEBBER - 17-Jun-19 @ 3:06 AM
We are having the same problems my neighbours gather in front us talk about us. The children constantly throwing balls and pressing our doorbell I told him off because we are picking up balls all thd time. They let people block our driveway they sell drugs they bang at nights when we are asleep we are awaken by loud bangs and this could be 2 and 3 8n the morning. The son comes out and cussing at us after 2 in the morning they slam their doors and now I just started to bang and dlam the door let them see what it is like. I am totally fedup with these people they throw garbage in out yard and spit in our garden this is never ending
Iamtotallyfedup - 16-Jun-19 @ 1:43 PM
In Jan 2018 new people moved in--I thought a nice family. Until then, despite being 73, I have had a happy active life, I live alone with my rescue dog, for the past 40 years with no trouble. We are in a terrace. After March they started making complaints about really petty things. At first I thought they were making a fuss over nothing, as I live a very quiet life and am--or was--quite independent.I realised eventually they did not want to be friendly or pleasant even in the most casual way over the fence--one of their threats being to take it down and build a higher one, despite the present one--built by me--is high and safe for my dog. Whether due to this or not I fell ill with shingles and my dog went to stay with friends as I had become housebound. After I improved enough to get out driving and my dog came back and employed dog walkers to help, my balance being affected, I got a complaint via Environmental Health that my dog was barking day and night, which was absolutely untrue, and I was "playing loud music" again untrue at "inappropriate times". I became the target of verbal abuse, like "We cant wait to see you in your coffin" and acts of petty vandalism. I have the police up several times and someone from anti social behavior , they all get fobbed off by this couple putting on the charm and denying everything. Recently they sent one of their relatives--a big burly thug-- out into their back garden to shout at me and my dog and say he is vicious and wants putting down. And so on and so forth. Frankly it was "got me down" to such an extent that I feel almost unable to keep going.
wuffalot - 1-Jun-19 @ 11:03 AM
Sorry you all are dealing with it. There's an old woman up here who constantly instigated the homeless people to harass and damage people's property. She is hated by her own family. One day I got fed up and called the police. They arrested her. She loves drama and is bitter . There's ways to get them back. Record and call the law ! Have witnesses.
Brit Brat - 28-May-19 @ 3:25 AM
I moved from the city to a village in the E of England 3 years ago.I am in the minority as I happen to be the only black woman in the village. It is a small one of about 1500 people. I knew this before I moved as I looked at the population statistics but I wanted the quiet life. The house is a semi-detached house and at the end of the road, so my neighbours and I are linked by a wall and separated by a fence. It turned out that there were 9 people in the house. A couple with 6 adult/teenage children ranging now from the age of 14 to 27 years old. The eldest son, 27 year old man also had his girlfriend living there. I did ask my previous owner about the neighbours, but she omitted to tell me nor did she say anything on the property form. The bullying started a week after I moved in to my new house. It was constant slamming of the front door. Banging on the walls during the night especially when I am asleep. Gawking whenever I go out into the garden or out to the front of the property. My previous car tyre was punctured. Constant dirt being thrown over the fence on to the patio and the conservatory. Beer cans thrown onto the front lawn Name calling Loud music Dead birds thrown on the lawn and into the garden I work from home. I began getting serious headaches which would last for hours. I would wake up with my head pounding. I went through several emotions and wondered what I had done apart from moving in. After a few weeks, I summed up the courage to speak to the parents. I invited them round for tea to discuss the problem. It turns out that 5 of the children have a form of mental illness so they are all registered with a disability. He said that the eldest son (who is the only sane one and the main culprit) will soon be moving out and that the second son was using drugs. The third son suffers from insomnia and is probably the one banging during the night. Then you have the girls and the last boy who have this faulty gene found in their mother. The mother had a stroke some years ago and he has had to raise them by himself. (Can you see the picture that I am painting?) In the eyes of the law, thay are all vulnerable people in society! After a lengthy discussion, I implored him to get help as it is not healthy to keep the children hidden from society. The oldest one workspart time as he is a named carer, but the others don't except for the last two who go to school and were always in the house at other times.I advised that they need something to keep them busy. The father agreed to move the 3 boys away from the front room where the banging was taking place during the night. This was not done as I was subject to the same anti-social behaviour during the night. After speaking to some friends, they said, I should be nice to them. I have a plum and apple fruit tree. I gave them some. Called one of the boys to come and hand pick some which I thought would appease them. It didn't change a thing as I was sti
Sandy - 11-May-19 @ 12:50 PM
What useless information. Who wants to befriend a bully and help them!! This is awful advice. Shame on you.
A real person being - 1-May-19 @ 1:21 PM
I have neighbours from hell and I mean hell. It is a shared driveway and they refuse me to drive or even walk down it. So I have had to block my entrance to my back garden off plus they were entering my back garden and vandalising it. I now have to park on the road. They have now parked one of their 3 cars right outside my house so with me being on crutches I have to park halfway up the road and struggle with bags to my house and they stand either outside their house or watch through their window laughing. I have a disability and now they have parked one of their cars outside my house it is disgusting. They have a car parked on the driveway and one outside their house on the road and the other parked outside my house. What can I do. They are bloody evil. Have discriminated me with being on crutches and my disability and the police won't do anything. I live on my own so I have no witness but there is two of them and they collaborate with each other. If anyone can help me I would be so grateful. They would get away with murder.
Julie Callagan - 1-May-19 @ 7:32 AM
Hi I have the same problem as you all. I live in UK. I've moved to my house 10 years ago,all started when neighbours discovered that I'm Polish. They would gather up at the front of my house and talk about me and my familly.The thing is all what they doing is always so subtle that basically I cannot prove anything. Their kids where constantly on our fence making comments how we talk what we do etc. I've felt like kind of animal in zoo.As they grow up they've change their practice,started to shoot to my son out of the nerf guns,with a plastic balls. I've bought for my son a trampoline which he used maybe twice as it was impossible for him to stay on the garden.We finally stopped going outside at all. Makes me stopped talking English and Polish.The worst thing is I've started to belive there is something wrong with me,got myself a depression and anxiety. Cnstantly telling my family to be quiet.Really don't know what to do as I really like my house and surroundings. Because im minority in this case everyone is trying to tell me to move out,but why I've never done anything bad.Somethimes I'm thinking is it worth it?
BlueBea - 24-Apr-19 @ 12:01 PM
Local neighbours are heavily involved with smoking drugs and bully me because I don’t want to be friends with them as their drug usage is not tolerated by me with their behaviour that of stalking intimidation and harassment....the red headed witch will continue to speak to my friends telling them she knows all about me, like wow how boring for you to be that obsessed I care to only know I stop hearing you watching me and driving round and round like I didn’t see you the first time, also your family I want Nothing to do with so why they think I’m their business and are so obsessed with me I do not understand but wished you’d all drop dead since you can’t seem to understand I’m not moving because of your sick obsession with myself, my friends and my family! Sickos. As for me being in medication even if I were it’d be none of your business but your the one medicated as you can’t stand this life as if you could you’d stop with the constant drive by watching us as we sit out side following us from out back yard to our front yard and constantly being caught starring at us like a pack of weirdos you are!
I’m not a druggie li - 22-Apr-19 @ 8:23 AM
Had a new neighbour move in a year ago with her 2 year old son , it started with her bins as she wanted them out of her sight and outside my door, she knows I suffer with mental health and been telling everyone I’m a fruit loop and obsessed with her she intimidates me only when she’s drunk or high and with her friends other then that she hibernates in her flat all day curtains drawn and silence , she has shouted at me and made up stuff to council and neighbours saying I’m a grass etc , I feel suicidal at times and wanna move so much , going to doctors soon to explain it all and ask if he can’t support me with a letter to council I’m at breaking point
CJ - 11-Apr-19 @ 1:23 AM
I have an elderly neighbour who plays loud music outside his house, so Loud I can’t hear the TV and it prevents me from enjoying my garden. The council have seen him and blames me!!! This has been going on for three years! The council are spineless!! He now plays with his genitalia when my daughter is outside. The police say I can’t prove it
Kay - 10-Apr-19 @ 9:30 PM
If lived in my flat for 2yrs n iv had nothing but grief from my neighbours one off them has just verbally threatens me and told me to watch my back I suffer mental health problems and I'm finding all this too much I really wish I had the guts to talk to someone and get help to move away
Mazza - 7-Apr-19 @ 7:45 PM
I have to keep my cats locked away in shed as neighbours threatened to kill them as their were pooing on new decking / driveways - now they let their dogs poo on my driveway because they say my cats are pooing still but not understand that there are other cats living in the road
Baileys - 21-Mar-19 @ 10:05 PM
This is the final straw for me. I moved into a property 4 yrs ago. Within 6 months the harassment started. The house was plastered and new bathroom and kitchen. I also have a disability car outside. I started to find glass in the garden so the pets would get cut.poison in the grass and on plants. I am one of then people who would help anyone but with this happening no chance would i help them even when it hurts to say no. Finally have to move as the police do not lbelieve me. When i ring the police they send anambulance to shut me up. All this has caused me to be depresse. All of this is because i don't work and have a nice car. Sad eh
b - 21-Mar-19 @ 8:05 AM
I am desperate to move from my awful neighbours.They have made my life hell for years. Now this morning i discover two of my tyres have been slashed i know it is them but cannot prove it . I am scared now for my family's safety
Jazz - 7-Mar-19 @ 1:02 PM
I hAve been beaten harassed for the past 2yrs by immediate neighbours. My son's old dog was poisoned to death and I was beaten so badly several years ago I had to have surgery and will always have memory issues because of it. I was registered disabled due to attack. Attacked on my own home 3yrs ago. Finally police did something. Reason for harassment? I am mixed race and my female neighbours are darker toned. I was seen as not black enough. My son become a police officer at a young age because of it. I have learnt to hate. It is so sadifferent what people do to each other. The police said it was due to jealousy. I don't agree. I think it was due to unhappiness.
None - 4-Mar-19 @ 6:19 PM
My neighbour has been harassing me for years. Calling me a call c**t , f***ing W**ker ,and the like. She has no consideration whatsoever. Spread's nasty gossip about me in my road. She behaves atrousily , and expects me to behave considerately , weird.
Simon Mead - 28-Feb-19 @ 10:44 PM
I have a couple of married older neighbours, whom I feel have been harrassing for 3 years now. They stand outside all summer, everyday at the entrance of the building, and I have to pass by them to get in and out of my home. They talk to people about me, tell people if I'm in or out and even tell people at what times I usually leave the house. I find it very intrusive. My life should be none of their business. They have been making me feel I am always being watched. Sometimes if they see me out, they follow me around. It got to the point I even started to feel uncomfortable to go down to throw the rubbish or even leave the house. I know they are doing it intentionally to make me feel uncomfortable.
Maria - 21-Feb-19 @ 4:04 PM
some nearby newpeople have made official complaints about my dog barking day and night--untrue--andmy playing "pop music" at ???"inappropriate" times??? when I do not play pop music or hardly any music anytime, and other stuff, verbal abuse, parking etc. I am 73 years old, but the PTBEEhave simply sent me a list of these peoples "feelings and issues" , ignored my situation, and a list of preposterous conditions I have to abide by!!!!
wuffalot - 11-Feb-19 @ 8:57 AM
I did comebted not sure if it been sent i cant see ny comments
Doglady - 8-Feb-19 @ 9:42 AM
Since this neighbour moved to my county and it the flat hes been a nightmare and making cimplaints all he says it not him it the other nighbours. Hes couring other neighbours to full out with each other saying one off the neighbour was slagging me off big time. Now he tells another nighbour that i have been saying bad things to them i haven't. Then he makes a complaints about ppl comes into my home was saying about him coursing trouble and banging about. And sgouting and slaming doors as hes told the housing i was banging. The housing dont want to listen to the tenents. Becuse he dresses up as a woman he thinks hes un touchable and hes playing on this ans is a tension seeker and always lies and if cant get his own way he will report us. I been in my flat alot longer then him and it ok hes taking all these drugs and never sleeps and hes been told to stop banging and still bwnging it all petty and they didnt tell us they was Cumming banging on the door if you dont answer they will shout through the letter box. And it un usual fir me to answer the door as i do have bad depression and paranoia and hear voices in my head. I am a self harmer my self. I will do more harm dead then i am alive belive me they will get untrouble. I think ppl whose got mental problems should be protected. I had enough i been here 14yrs and he only moved in last year qs he caused alot off problems where he ysed to live and telling everyone his mum wws nurderd by his dad thst was a lie his num is alive..
Doglady - 8-Feb-19 @ 9:39 AM
I've lived in my home for 16 yrs and my neighbour caused my family living hell crimnal damage to my home verbal abuse and threats drug dealing, they were recentlyevicted not known if for good and have been threatening to harm my family and are still causing trouble the police won't do anything and I've been diagnosed withe depression this family won't stop harrasing us we don't know what to do.
Bex92 - 1-Feb-19 @ 10:06 PM
I've lived in the property for 5 months and I've had numerous noise complaints for during the day and of a night - they went to my landlord over it. I'm not a loud person, I work 6-7 days a week so don't stay up late. The past few notes I've received have been about music playing of a day cause the neighbour works nights. I explained that it was me as we were all in work till 5pm. This is happening so much and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I can't even breathe in my own place. And because they're friends with my landlord I can't even go to her. I have to live here for another 9 months.
Hollamberxxx - 1-Feb-19 @ 6:58 AM
I’m being buillied by the neighbors next door but one every time I go into my kitchen or garden the neighbor belches continually and very loudly he used to do it every time he passed my window I asked him to stop but now he does it even louder I’ve tried to be pleasant in the past but to no avail I’m feel very tormented by this and feel suicidel I don’t know what to do
Chikpeas22 - 21-Jan-19 @ 2:23 PM
I get accused of gawping/staring whichever way I look lituarlly I've contacted my landlord from that angle but it happens when I go out as well comments like that's her that my cousin described to me or that's her that my niece described to me every bit of noise is apparent my fault oh don't tell me she's deaf she gets away with everything because she's deaf and recently what's SHE doing walking wound they were supposed to kill her /mentioning block of flats where I live/ and they the ones doing it refer to it as the gawping campaign other stuff like the key to remember is /******/ did not start it we are allowed to get our own back the trouble she's caused and mama mama look who's passing now it they've being told if the want to say I have schizophrenia they've got to prove it once I was outside the co up and a female said if you want us to stop asking you what your looking at you've got to move there is more this is the basic just of it
Ricky the rat - 14-Jan-19 @ 10:21 AM
Well,my neighbors are somewhat racist. They don't like my landlord but somehow blames me for betraying our race(its a stupid excuse).She likes to swear and laugh at me when I walk by. At first I thought maybe I did something wrong and felt really alone until I read all your experiences. I don't want to report her fearing she'll make things worse for me. Like she actually made people in this street to hate me. And I don't want to keep arguing. But the good thing is I could see their attitude seems similar to demons. Imagine them being possessed by all kinds. That's how I see them now,as demons.Which means they don't deserve respect coz they're only humans on the outside and something else on the inside. Because we are not in that lowlevel with them, so we cannot simply respond to their nonsene.I just think,maybe we can be creative with our defenses. Let's not loose sleep worrying but loose sleep planning....I mean,I don't think this demons sleep.
Dolly - 18-Nov-18 @ 10:27 AM
We have lived in our house for the past 15 years with no problems. We own our house, but the house next door was converted into two flats, but we always got on with our neighbours, until 4 years ago when a nightmare family moved in. From the off they started allowing their teenage children to have drunken parties where condoms and cans were thrown over our fence, not to mention drunken girls sitting on walls and vomit in the shared entry. They complained about our cats and threatened to kill them. It got to the stage that they were in line for an ASBO, but the landlord read them the riot act and they quietened down. However, they continued to be rude and abusive - in particular their youngest son and thrown garden waste etc over the fence. Last week I saw the womans partner throw something over my fence whilst I was in my daughters bedroom , so (stupidly) I went down to confront him about him and ask him not to. I had only arrived and was in conversation with him when his soon to be stepson emerged out of the house shouting abuse - he called me all the names under the sun - being aggressive and threatening me. He backed me against a wall and I couldnt get away so I lashed out in self defence and left as quickly as I could, with both he and the neighbour jeering at me. It left me feeling both vulnerable, shaken and angry that I could be treated in this way. In hindsight (and its a marevellous thing) I know I should not have gone down, but why should I be silent? If my husband had done the same , would they have acted in the same way? The police became involved (both they and I reported the incident), but because I struck out, I will probably be the one to be charged and yet I feel that I am the victim, not him. Since then I am having a six foot fence erected between us and having cctv installed, yet I am still shaken - this despite that I have taught people of this boys age for the last 30 years and have four children of my own, all of whom would not dream of speaking to anyone like this. I am also angry with the landlord, that despite the record of this family, they are still allowed to live in the flat and that it is I who is having to contemplate moving from my home. Even today I am afraid to go out into my garden in case of reprisals - no one should make someone feel a prisoner in their own home. They are bullies - and cowards.
Jetcat - 21-Oct-18 @ 12:11 PM
Hi I am being bullied by my neighbours because they think I’ve complained about them when I haven’t anything d because when my neighbour who moved in below me moved in yes I did complain about him but he never turned his music down when I did so I complained because I was mad but I’ve only ever complained about him and no one else and today I heard them all talking about me calling me names and stuff. I’m not a noisy person I just keep myself to myself so now I’m scared to be on my own now and scared to leave my flat. What can I do?
Weekimmyxx - 14-Oct-18 @ 5:05 PM
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