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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 14 Dec 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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I liveinasheltered housing community, we havecoffee morningsanda weeklybingogame,justrecentlyI havediscoveredthatthetwo lady'sthat prepareandrun theafternoonare beingverballybullied tothe extentthat theyhave both been in tearsand no longerwishtocontinue,we havetriedtotalktoour warden butare told that theyneed toremainimpartial. Thebully iscompletelyunapproachableand a few of the otherresidentshave now stoppedgoing to thecoffee mornings , I havesent anemailtoourHousingofficer wonderedifyoucouldgive me some moreadviceonhowtodeal with this .
wren - 14-Dec-17 @ 7:10 PM
Hello, My parents are being harassed by their neighbour - 1 male, 1 female and 4 kids - due to them being granted permission to build on their land. The neighbour has suddenly started making accusations about extended members of the family which is causing my parents severe anxiety and stress. I cannot stand to see my parents upset anymore - it's heartbreaking. I'm totally lost in how I can help them. What makes it worse is my mum befriended the mum and used to buy the kids Christmas presents. She now feels totally betrayed. The father has started to try and turn the other neighbours against my parents in a very childish way. My parents don't deserve this.
Sandra - 7-Dec-17 @ 10:14 PM
We are constantly harassed, intimidated and bullied by our neighbours.They throw trash into our garden and out the front of the house, have tried to break in at 5:00am, shine floodlights on our home and film us with a spy cam pointing into our house around the clock.We are bullied 24/7 and they are trying to set us up - getting people to stand outside our front door, and across the street looking into our house.We feel very isolated and are afraid to go out.We are stuck here now as we've had to report the issue - which means we won't be able to sell the property when rennovated.Our post started going missing and we were victims of attempted ID fraud.We have been followed home on numerous occasions and have no idea where to turn.They are very cunning, friends with everyone and probably related to most people in the street.We are really scared - I feel suicide is the only option left.We're scared that if we go to the police they will be relatives - it's a small town.We really need help and would greatly appreciate any advice on how to end this constant bullying.
Freedom - 7-Dec-17 @ 2:04 PM
Iv lived here in a small house for around four years, the walls are very thin. To start with we was not aware of this so we made noise as a young couple late at night. Our neighbours have done nothing but bully us over noise. Instead of talking to us like human beings or reporting us to the council they have sent their friends an family to have a go at us. It's very intimidating and wrong, why do they feel just because we used to be noisy that they are allowed to verbally abuse us. Sadly we got in n argument recently I was fed up an finally dared answer back which resulted in them calling social services on us. I just don't know if I should go to the police about the harassment we have recieved I want to because who gives them the right to go around bullying people. They also reported us to the council for apparently screaming late at night which we was not it was a malicious report because we got in to a disagreement. My point is got a problem with me report me because I'm sick of being shouted at an bullied. She thought I had put rubbish in her bin so she sent a friend to have a go at me for it. I had not put rubbish in her bin at all, she sent her friend to argue with us an with the neighbours on the other side too. Just really childish tac tics I'm so fed up of this woman
Zozo - 6-Dec-17 @ 12:20 AM
We have a 50 something neighbour across the street. I am male in my late 20s. For 10 years this guy has harassed and been aggressive to not only me, but my partner and my parents. He has threatened me multiple times (without actually doing anything) jumped on my mothers moving car, abused my father and previous partner and now knows we have CCTV so just mutters abuse when I walk in and out of my house. He is also the type to eyeball everyone, stands on his drive sticking his chest out. I get the impression he wants trouble, the reason is unknown. Police have been 4/5 times but never do anything. The guy wants a reaction all the time and is very aggressive and abusive when he gets going, his wife is just as bad. Any advice
Lop - 28-Nov-17 @ 5:20 PM
I have a neighbour that has bullying me for time this family has made my life a living hell they have bullied me and children for time.I am fed up mentally and physically having the whole flat bully us.I am an only parent i dont have the time to deal with my children crying because our neighbour feels like bullying saying that we should commit suicideand go mentally unwell we have done nothing wrong.ever since we moved to the flat they have made our life a living hell.all they do is spread false allegations about us they refuse us to be happy.we dont know why this family has it in for us but it is strange they have the audacity to bully us and get the neighbours to join in.Our family have never been miserable forthese years.i have never felt so unwelcomed in my home.they bully us and try to mimick us everything we talk about.I havent never felt so unhappy by a neighbours like this.I have tried to be civil but they are currently refusing to do the same.i regret to move here with neighbours that bully you and try to ruin your life outside as well we are nice and approachable people but i dont understand why this family have the right to say they will put us in a hospital,i dont know how to confront these people but i need help seriously they seem to think it is a game when its a flat not owned by any of them, they seem to think they are smart but in reality they are trying to protect themselfs from people hearing what is really going in this flat.i have even been told to leave my faith to stay and rot home and commit suicide or go in hospital.I have had enough of there manipulative ways,they always seem to find out where my children are studying or going to eat, if you confront them they lie and act innocent if i get a job they are unhappy we have no one on our side to listen to our case we are fed up of them stalking and humilating us behind and upfront were are the real sense of humanity .What can i do to neighbours that bully us but wont leave us alone all they want to is see us miserable and unhappy.This a true story i would not lie in a million years i am sure some one has experienced this aswell
Katheern - 22-Nov-17 @ 9:07 AM
I am having a few issues with my neighbour. the tenant upstairs owns his and he acts like the big I am towards me.I have a bay window and in the summer I love having my windows open and him and his mates constantly made nasty comments over the summer towards me. really offensive name calling. also if we have had civil words to his mates and girlfriend he would take the mick out of what I said all I have done is try to be a friendly neighbour because I am very nervous they think they can make my life hell in my own home
jane84 - 14-Nov-17 @ 10:47 AM
My elderly mother’s neighbour has on two occasions removed my mother’s boundary fence & moved it to his gain & her detriment . I have spoken to him about it & expressed my mother’s wish to have the boundary fence put back in its original position & this spoken request has been backed up by a written request which he binned . My elderly mother is being bullied & harassed . What action should I advise her to do ?
Widd - 13-Nov-17 @ 7:45 AM
I ama singlewomanlivingaloneandhaveconstantlybeingbulliedandliveinfear. I'vebeencallednamesandthey... Husbandand wifetrytointimidateme. TheysaybasicallysinceI'ma renteranddon'townmyunitand rentthatI havenorights. I'vetriedtobenice... Buthavebeenunsuccessful
Winnie - 5-Nov-17 @ 7:36 PM
I have a neighbour who is deliberately trying to wind me and my husband up. My husband has had it out with him before when he used to get ppl to park outside our house so I couldn’t get off the drive. We have recently had our drive way done and I keep finding new nails on there,and when he washes the car he leaves the hose pipe running onto our driveway and not his. Caught him today blowing all the leaves off his driveway onto ours. We had a conservatory built and I was in there the other week and I saw something flying from their garden and it smashed on the roof,so I shot upstairs and he was locking his shed up and he looked up at our window so I just started at him and he was smirking ??. I’m at the end of my tether i can’t put up with it anymore it’s getting me down. ??
Lilyb - 5-Nov-17 @ 5:24 PM
I have a real terrible so called neighbor, she have not followed not one law on our lease, she is always on her worst behavior, and all family member that visit her is as well, I need for the property owner to make her follow the lease that I signed, I am not afraid of bullies, but if this continues I am afraid of the out come.
none - 4-Nov-17 @ 4:35 PM
My neighbour is 50 yrs old and large man he has been obsessed with me since I moved in. I'm a pretty 20 something year old I complaints to the housing association family mosaic about his obsession with me constant knockinf on my door ext and the women who dealt with it don't care because they are fat and ugly like him. He made comments about my body and I stopped answering the door to him after he started to stomp loudly above mg head and come to find out he had laminated flooring which he isn't allowed however family mosaic are lying and saying he has an old tenancy and he can have laminate they are lying and will do nothing about the harassment I have gone through because he made false counter claims and they choose to believe him. Or I personally feel the fat ugly women dealing with it just saw me now are jealous and want to make my life he'll out of jealously. He made false claims about me making noise when I wasn't in the country he has been caught out lying several times but family mosaic still pursue with trying to get me evicted. I'm waiting on a court date but the whole ordeal has stressed me out all because I was being sexually harassed by someone old enough to be my grandad I just wanted to be let alone I didn't want to be friends with him or him know my business. Family mosaic also purposely left the court papers in the communal area so he read papers which had my whole life on them they also put a hidden camera in the communal hallway trying to get me to react to something but of course they found nothing Family mosaic are racist bullies they allow sexual harassment and ignore disabilities and rscism. There is so much more to this case but I will be going to the daily mail when this is all over Family mosaic are scum of the earth.
Kk - 24-Oct-17 @ 6:19 PM
New wealthy investmenr banker neighbour and his wife director of some local society have moved in next door, promising they were doing no major alterations just minor interior. They moved out after 3montgs in March and their team of builders started work, 6 days a week and continuing after 6 months. They were friendly to start with and said how concerned they were with conservation (it's a central London conservation area) and apologised for the noise and disturbance we would have to suffer (considerable as I work from home). Then they hacked through our tree root when they said they guaranteed to protect its main roots. Then they cut great holes for steels by mistake into the garden wall. This made a previous large vertical crack in the middleof the wall caused by previous builders excavating a trial pit for a possible deep basement. I rang them on the number and complained about them hacking into the root and then risking the old wall by cutting great holes in it without any notice or safeguards. He then said your tree is damaging the wall. I replied that this was wrong and we sent him a historic building engineers report from when the wall got cracked by the excavations under it. He became very hostile. Then we were away on holiday and when we came back ALL my forty year old jasmine, clematis, hibiscus were torn down and stripped and broken right over on our side and branches of the May cut off about a foot or more within the boundary. In its place was a huge closed wooden fence with great big ugly posts right on top of the wall on our side. We know this was an illegal act of trespass and they also removed a small pretty section of willow fencing with all the jasmine around it and disposed of it. We complained and advised them we'd have to take down the fence and lower it onto their side. We said how upset we were over the damage to the whole side of our beautiful tiwn garden. They wrote and said they'd get the consents from the council. We emailed it was not a question of that, but of them not even asking and damaging plants and shrubs and the side of trees which it takes years of loving care to tend. They wrote back saying the answers to our question were "in our own behaviour" and lectured us about neighbourly behaviour. We mailed back what do you mean suspecting that a very malicious neighbour with whom we had a court case over their two year building excavation and extensions spree damaging the party wall and front wall on one side, had been speaking to them and to new neighbours who had also done extensive works, so it was apparent that there was a cabal afoot, I fear of tree henchmen. We denied that we had done anything at all to them to deserve such treatment. We then received a truly nasty letter apologising for erecting the fence without asking but pointedly not apologising for the upset and damage caused to the side of our garden which was years of work. They accused us of shouting at their daughter over a noise issue. This was n
DeSa - 23-Oct-17 @ 12:17 PM
I have neighbours next door in our terraced home. I was sitting in back garden when neighbour soaked my garden and me when watering his garden. I said I was sitting in garden. He said tough he was watering his plants. His wife now soaks me flick water over fence and muddy water pours through my garden. I have tried to ignore. Help I am a pensioner.
Jo - 8-Oct-17 @ 5:42 PM
I have this prombem about the neighbour and there in my new apartment on last two Friday and today she yelled at me and my friend said I or him are making to much noise., I sent a note to crh head office and I am going to see what they said and if it sill goes on i am going to the police about it i am 37 years old and i live alonei just move in aug 25 2017.
canada37 - 4-Oct-17 @ 8:35 PM
My neighbour has bi polar an takes to her bed every day,is out all night having a ciggarette,bangs door,then in and out bedroom all night,lm sick of it.
sandie - 4-Oct-17 @ 10:36 AM
D - Your Question:
My neighbor borrowed my Hoover 2 weeks ago and she has obviously decided to keep it without my consent so my question is can the police help me get it back cause I only lent her it for that 1 day and she has refused to give it back surly it should be classed as theft cause she only had permission for one day not 2 weeks aint theft a crime there has to be something that can be done about it

Our Response:
Refusing to return an item that you have borrowed is not automatically theft until you've kept it so long it's clear you don't intend to return it. You should send your friend a note asking for the hoover back by a certain date (say, one week away). If it's not returned by then, say you are taking civil action via court (it might not be worth doing so but it may be sufficient to force them to return it).
ProblemNeighbours - 2-Oct-17 @ 2:33 PM
My neighbor borrowed my Hoover 2 weeks ago and she has obviously decided to keep it without my consent so my question is can the police help me get it back cause i only lent her it for that 1 day and she has refused to give it back surly it should be classed as theft cause she only had permission for one day not 2 weeks aint theft a crime there has to be something that can be done about it
D - 29-Sep-17 @ 4:00 PM
Chewy - Your Question:
Hi I have a problem with my neighbour because I am a council tenant and they own there home they continue to complain about my car being too close to the drop curb but my wife is disabled and can't walk at all I have to get close to the curb, they swear at the kids grandkids their is always broken cars on the drive, they complain about the TV too loud the reason for that is that they are drill from 1800 to 2200 most nights I have tintaness so when they drill I can't hear the TV they also complain about my wife calling the dog in at night but they have there windows wide open at night I think they can do anything and we can't do anything about it is it right that if they have a drop curb that is a clear way at all times so no one can park on it even the people who live there

Our Response:
The Highway Code rule 243 advises the following:
‘Except when forced to do so by stationary traffic, DO NOT stop or park:
where the kerb has been lowered to help wheelchair users and powered mobility vehicles, or
where it would obstruct cyclists
in front of an entrance to a property’
ProblemNeighbours - 23-Aug-17 @ 11:50 AM
Hi I have a problem with my neighbour because I am a council tenant and they own there home they continue to complain about my car being too close to the drop curb but my wife is disabled and can't walk at all I have to get close to the curb, they swear at the kids grandkids their is always broken cars on the drive, they complain about the TV too loud the reason for that is that they are drill from 1800 to 2200 most nights I have tintaness so when they drill I can't hear the TV they also complain about my wife calling the dog in at night but they have there windows wide open at night I think they can do anything and we can't do anything about it is it right that if they have a drop curb that is a clear way at all times so no one can park on it even the people who live there
Chewy - 21-Aug-17 @ 10:34 AM
my nieghbours have made my life hell since moving here at first it was oldies then younger woman showing Interest in my man . nearly split up due to her now I be got same woman threatening me while in a car and I got you want ran down I get you effing ran down while in a black car and worse same woman goes to same primary school as my daughter goes to I've had evil states and verbul from her cronies friends at gate . I went in seen my lawyer as this was classed as a death threat towards me so I am clearly not safe in the area and other nieghbours are just as bad with the bad mouthing. so I clearly need to move for my safety and my family's safety also
kitten eyes1 - 12-Aug-17 @ 6:56 PM
I have had a ongoing problem with a bullying woman in my building. She threatens me and lies to others in the building who then join in. And there is an element of reverse bigotry involved that is making me feel like a target for the anger toward the raw deal they get from the police and others.
Dee - 3-Jul-17 @ 5:04 AM
Please help, I'm suffering harassment from a neighbours children, they start calling me when I go to my back door at night. They always are there, between 20.30 and 22.00, they start calling out, saying, lady, lady, we can see you, you're smoking, you're going to die, followed again by, Lady, Lady, hey lady...... and on and on it goes. It's driving me insane, I live in a nice area, but these two young girls are making my life a misery. I'm a nurse, working long hours and want to just relax in the tranquility of my own back garden in my own home, which is mine, not rented. Please help, any advice would be appreciated
Scooby doo - 22-Jun-17 @ 10:51 PM
I have been having a problem with my neighbour for the past 15yrs, but for the past 3yrs it's very very bad.. I'm in a townhouse, I share my bedroom wall with one of her bedrooms.. For the past 3yrs. she wakes up between 4 and 5am goes in that bedroom and drills on the baseboard, makes scraping sounds, and now she makes stunt gun sounds also, and what seems like firecracker sounds, I haven't done or said anything because then she'll do something worse, and about 6mos ago she must have said something about me to my other neighbour and now she is also drilling and making firecracker whistling sound noises..this goes on for a couple of hrs... On April 14,2017, both neighbours where going at the same time, my house was the noisiest I have ever heard it.. I'm afraid that if I get the police involved then they'll do something to us.. I'm getting sick on account of all this.. I live in a very nice area, these townhouses are upscale.. I live in Toronto, Canada the area is Woodbridge, Ontario... thank you.
maria - 7-Jun-17 @ 4:58 AM
I have had problems with neighbours since moving 2yrs ago. I am in a 4 block with all elderly, I am a single parent with a 6yr old and I know that is the main reason they have a problem. They cut my tree down without permission, took my fence down and chucked it (to put new posts in?!) I have complaints for slamming toilet seat at 1am on a sat night! Putting a hand blender on after 9 am! Leaving my windows open 1night! And was told when I was at f.t college not to put the Hoover or washing machine on after 5pm (so I couldn't do housework!) they nose into all my life! The neighbor thru the wall actually calls the neighbor underneath to complain about me-although she doesn't confront me. I had numerous complaints about my washing machine and had repair guy out-their machines are a lot more noisier than mine! It pathetic this is all they have on me. The neighbour through the wall tries to cause trouble all the time , in a sneaky way. Anytime (actually twice , I have raised my voice in the flat) they go on like I'm an animal-i sincerely apologised but was treated with contempt-I know its exaggerated as the other neighbour (elderly) said don't worry at all-things happen! We are a family for gods sake! I've started ignoring them and now I'm back at work its died down.they tried to bully me because they thought I was beneath them basically. I had complaints about when my daughter got her first pets (rats) and moaning about that before I even bought them! Fortunately the landlord has been great and I know the the previous owner was a single parent , who they say abandoned and shouted at her kid, and called her mum a slut for sunbathing in the garden! They were obviously forced out and now rent the property to me. They don't have a life
Nico - 21-May-17 @ 9:57 AM
My neighbor has threatened me messed with my electric bring drink and drugs to the house he picks on everyone in the house brakes windows brings drug dealers to the house. The list goes on and on he picks on who ever he sees he hsd ago at the lady that delivers my parcles one day just because he had to much to drink yet again you call the landlord he does nothing call the old bill they dont even come round to help i do t know what to do its making me ill all the stress when i leave my flat will he have ago at me hes pinched my post aswell taking signs down that i have put up for the post man its a joke
Locket - 25-Apr-17 @ 11:23 PM
L - Your Question:
A neighbour has been sending me threatening and abusive letters, some anonymous and making threats for almost 3 years. I have complained to police, the housing provider and the anti social behaviour officer at my local council. All they say is that she is not to send me anonymous letters. She came to my house for no reason day before yesterday, thrust her forefinger against my face and screamed at the top of her voice "How dare you!" (I don't know what I am accuse of, as I have neither said nor done anything to her. What can I do to protect myself against her. I am really frightened that next time she will physically attack me.

Our Response:
If you're concerned for your safety, you should contact your local police.
ProblemNeighbours - 20-Mar-17 @ 2:22 PM
A neighbour has been sending me threatening and abusive letters, some anonymous and making threats for almost 3 years. I have complained to police, the housing provider and the anti social behaviour officer at my local council. All they say is that she is not to send me anonymous letters. She came to my house for no reason day before yesterday, thrust her forefinger against my face and screamed at the top of her voice "How dare you!" (I don't know what I am accuse of, as I have neither said nor done anything to her. What can I do to protect myself against her. I am really frightened that next time she will physically attack me.
L - 17-Mar-17 @ 11:03 PM
So to put a long story short I have lived in my current place for almost 5 years the problems started due to my down stairs neighbours mum who doesn't even live in my street. My neighbour has been nice to me and knew me when I was child but his mum constantly harasses me and my partner. She constantly gives my partner and I dirty looks and will give us abuse for my dog been outside in my garden after I have taken her for a walk we let her run around the garden before we bring her in the house. We also have something in place to stop the dog from escaping the garden and the neighbours mum moves it to her sons back garden so I have to lift it back up and it is quite heavy. I spoke to her once about what she has been doing and she just started giving me abuse. I then spoke to my neighbour and he said he would speak to her about it but nothing has changed and I am at a complete lose on what I should do.
Lou - 25-Feb-17 @ 11:10 PM
We have suffered this over the last 11 years, police have visited numerous times and done nothing, it involves the neighbour across the street. Started with parking, we parked outside our own house, he didn't like it so parked his only car there (he has a drive for 4 cars) for the next 7 years, if anyone from our house parks there he is out staring and shouting. He has jumped on my mothers car bonnet because she parked there. Constantly staring at me. Constantly staring at anyone who visits our house. Stands in the window or on his drive just eyeballing you. We have cctv and he had calmed down, but now is starting again due to lights from our car shining on his house when we back down the drive (they are on auto) never seems to close his curtains though. I think the guy is after a fight, just a general dislike for us. Any advice appreciated.
JS - 23-Feb-17 @ 8:08 PM
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