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Being Bullied by a Neighbour? What You Can Do

By: Sarah Clark (ILEX) - Updated: 20 Feb 2024 | comments*Discuss
 
Bully Bullies Neighbour Harassment

If you, or anyone in your household, feel as though you’re being bullied in your neighbourhood or even your own home, it can potentially make your life unbearable. You have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood and protected from harassment, so don’t let a bully take that away from you or your loved ones.

Children Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem, especially with children. In some cases, a bullying incident may be a one-off, a trivial falling out between children, and isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.

Listen to what your child is saying about the bullies and keep an eye on the situation. It may all blow over.In the meantime, arm your children with strategies to deal with the actions the bullies are taking, such as trying to ignore minor things, asking the bully to stop, and telling an adult.

If a child is being picked on frequently, you could try walking with them to school, supervising play areas or speaking to the parents of the bully or bullies and trying to resolve the issues amicably.

In very serious cases, or examples where there have been actual physical violence, it might be possible as a last resort to take out a restraining order, making the parents and the bullies stay away from your child. If the situation has become that serious or dangerous, it’s advisable to involve the police, get some information on your legal options, and consult a lawyer. Thankfully, it’s rare for childhood bullying to need that sort of intervention.

What’s Considered Bullying?

Bullying and harassment, especially when adults are involved, can be subtle, hard to pinpoint and consist of many separate incidents which can turn into persistent bullying when they are carried out repeatedly or over a long period of time. It is important to know how you are protected under the Protection From Harassment Act.

If you’re being subjected to any form of unwanted behaviour from a neighbour, it can be described as bullying. It could take the form of constant harassment, physical or verbal abuse. Name calling or teasing constantly can be bullying if they upset you or cause you any distress. Some bullies may choose to simply 'blank' you or spread rumours about you. Serious cases may even involve threatening or anti-social behaviour.

In some cases, neighbourhood bullies can be so subtle and their actions can become so regular that their behaviour can be overlooked. That doesn’t make it right. Long term, bullying can cause mental and physical health problems, and affect your well-being.

What to Do if You’re Being Bullied

The very nature of adult bullies make them hard to reason with. You can try avoiding the culprit and hoping they get bored with annoying you, if the bullying is mild.

Kill them with kindness. If the bully sees you as a threat, try befriending them, even if you don’t want to. If you turn the tables and act as if you’re willing to be friendly, you could get a positive response. Try a friendly 'hello' or offer to help them with something. This might not work, but is worth trying as a first course of action.

Try being assertive, too. Use assertive body language, stand straight, don’t avoid eye contact, and confront them with statements like, "I've noticed that you seem to be trying to bully me and I would like you to stop."

If all else fails, or the bullying becomes serious or physical, involve the authorities.

If there’s a discrimination element (you’re being bullied because of your race, gender, disability, sexuality or religion), contact your local authority who may be able to take action. Some local authorities have Safer Neighbourhood Teams who work with communities to identify and address local concerns.

In some cases, a local authority can apply for a court order against the perpetrator, banning them from carrying out anti-social behaviour, nuisance or threats against you or your household, and even evict them if they carry on.

You may be able to take out a civil injunction against the bully. Take advice from a solicitor about your options and what you need to do if that’s the case. Find out more about the Proection from Harassment Act here.

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I'm being terribly bullied I suffer with mental health also I'm disabled,, the people who are bullying me I don't no why but they throw rocks at 1st now it's stones this has been going on for over a year and half if not more,,, they are buying there property and I'm in a housing association,I don't seriously no what to doI've never had anxiety but my god I suffer every day I've lost lots of weight pls can someone help me pls I'm 59 years old and I live on my own it's scary,I feel this isn't my home but more like a prison pls pls any help I would be great full many thanks veronica x
Roni - 20-Feb-24 @ 7:48 PM
I lived at 58 Wetherby Road EN2 0NS for 20 years. New neighbours moved in downstairs at No 14. We were friends at first then they switched and started alienating us, turning neighbours against us, turning the kids against my daughter Ashley who was 3 at the time. They harrassed us for two years, shouting c**t at me, they shouted at my family, they had our door kicked in and we were threatened my daughrer couldn't play outside no more and every time we left the house they would shout up at us, yelling us to F off, calling me a nobody, we couldn't pit our gas on cos the cupboard was downstairs outside their house, couldn't put rubbish in the bins cos they lived opposite and they were always outside all day, taking over the whole of downstairs and shouting at us all the time, terrifying my daughter Ashley. I kept having anxiety attacks, calling ambulance on a regular basis, I gad a mental breakdown andhad to stay at my sisters in Walton to get away from them. I had counselling a lot. After two weeks I moved in with my brother who lived closer so my daughter could go back to school, then my sister & dad paid over £1000 for me and Ashley to stay in a tiny converted garage in winchmorehill, then after two weeks thd council got my a hostel which was disgusting so I stayed there for a few weeks though wouldn't allow my daughter to stay there as it was that ndiaguating do I had to send her to my sisters. Thus was Christmas time 2021 and the harrassement started around February 2021. I didn't want to spend Christmas in that place without my kids so we went back to our home. We had been gone for 4 months was hoping they'd calmed down, but things got worse. They even got me arrested saying I was harassing them,I was in a prison cell for 14 and a half hours, of course the chatges were dropped because someone had videoed it. We kept our heads down, avoiding them as much as possible until the council found us a place. But from when we moved back in deceiver 2021 till September 2022 they carried on harassing us and we felt like a prisoner in our own homes and my daughter started having nightmares and started sleeping in my bed cos she was so scared. And yet no punishment was handed out to these people Natasha Knight & Charlie Bentley for their threats, lies, anti social behaviour, emotional distress and falsely accusing me of being the harrasser. We moved to 2 Grove Road West EN3 5SY 12th September 2022. Though the property had endless issues that has only just been fixed over a year later. So, the added stress of everything put me through a lot of stress and mental torture my daughter had to go stay at my sisters till I felt better. 3 weeks before summer holidays 2023 natasha Knight started coming to my daughters school, chase side primary where we'd been going for 2 years. The harrassement started up again. The school knew the history of the whole situation but now we had to start seeing this nasty family daily again which has seriously star
Lisa - 11-Dec-23 @ 9:26 AM
My problem with my neighbor started 11 years ago when I tried to do remedial work done on my external wall tried to eliminate the damp in my living room by their side of the servitude alley . I live in an end of terrace house andbetween me and my neighbor there is an alley which they said they controlled the boundary because it is in their land. Every attempt I have done over the years to have repair the damp was blocked by those two brothers and their mother who lived in next door. I even took them to court and had a court decision that I have a right to do remedial work to maintain my house however they told me that I lost they will never let me do have any work because i am tress passing their land. Several times the brothers came at my door took my picture, told me that their good will punish me and came to loudly banging at my door and window. I was and I am terrified and extremely depressed now that I can't feel safe in my own house. Recently I had government founded company approached me and was agree to do external wall insulation and unfortunately without telling me the company sent scaffolding company to take the scaffolding up around my house including the wall on their side. This made them crazy mad and came at my door banging and banging then my window as well. I was terrified and called the police, the police was not interested in and told me that I should call the council so I called my dear friend about it and he called the police and explained my situation then they opened a harassment file. The neighbor then put a letter through my letter box and saying " I have gone about wrong way" last year their mother died from heart attack and they were accusingof disrespect their dead mother. one of the brother was telling me in his letter that he is going to police to resolve the matter as if they were the victim while they have been bullying me and terrorizing me. Now that the company ECO TARGET back off and not doing the work they said they could and the scaffolding company took the scaffolding down on their side of the wall but they let the front and back side of the scaffolding up. Now the company has decided that they will not do any work, the scaffolding need to be taken down however the next door neighbor have been barricaded the gate and not letting scaffolding company they their scaffolding down. They need to use the alley to remove and take the scaffolding out from the back side of my house. It need s only one hour fro the company take it done and remove but it has been a month they have been unreasonable, uncommunicative and unreasonable. They even don't live in the house but they know I am a single woman with nobody to protect me. I have no families, no support circle so they know it and they say they can do it because they can. I am so desperate and depressed can sleep, lost 6 kilos. I have osteoarthritis and asthma which damp cause terrible pain and escalates my condition but he told me that he does not care that he w
Serap - 8-Dec-23 @ 7:22 PM
My problem with my neighbor started 11 years ago when I tried to do remedial work done on my external wall tried to eliminate the damp in my living room by their side of the servitude alley . I live in an end of terrace house andbetween me and my neighbor there is an alley which they said they controlled the boundary because it is in their land. Every attempt I have done over the years to have repair the damp was blocked by those two brothers and their mother who lived in next door. I even took them to court and had a court decision that I have a right to do remedial work to maintain my house however they told me that I lost they will never let me do have any work because i am tress passing their land. Several times the brothers came at my door took my picture, told me that their good will punish me and came to loudly banging at my door and window. I was and I am terrified and extremely depressed now that I can't feel safe in my own house. Recently I had government founded company approached me and was agree to do external wall insulation and unfortunately without telling me the company sent scaffolding company to take the scaffolding up around my house including the wall on their side. This made them crazy mad and came at my door banging and banging then my window as well. I was terrified and called the police, the police was not interested in and told me that I should call the council so I called my dear friend about it and he called the police and explained my situation then they opened a harassment file. The neighbor then put a letter through my letter box and saying " I have gone about wrong way" last year their mother died from heart attack and they were accusingof disrespect their dead mother. one of the brother was telling me in his letter that he is going to police to resolve the matter as if they were the victim while they have been bullying me and terrorizing me. Now that the company ECO TARGET back off and not doing the work they said they could and the scaffolding company took the scaffolding down on their side of the wall but they let the front and back side of the scaffolding up. Now the company has decided that they will not do any work, the scaffolding need to be taken down however the next door neighbor have been barricaded the gate and not letting scaffolding company they their scaffolding down. They need to use the alley to remove and take the scaffolding out from the back side of my house. It need s only one hour fro the company take it done and remove but it has been a month they have been unreasonable, uncommunicative and unreasonable. They even don't live in the house but they know I am a single woman with nobody to protect me. I have no families, no support circle so they know it and they say they can do it because they can. I am so desperate and depressed can sleep, lost 6 kilos. I have osteoarthritis and asthma which damp cause terrible pain and escalates my condition but he told me that he does not care that he w
Serap - 8-Dec-23 @ 7:21 PM
Is a older man and lady she is Italian and he is mixed ethnicity.I am younger by 30 years or more and ever since I came they have been nosey given a welcome card when moved in. I thought this was nice but odd as soon after my thoughts was right . Every morning she would say in the hallway (converted house thin walls and shared door way to enter) "is he home!?" I understand they have lived in the property for 20 years but is a council property forst of all that you don't own so don't get to choose who lives on top of you! This soon turned nasty as he told me when I first moved in that the lady in the place before me was very nice at first and then changed on them and became very nasty (ring a bell) I thought at the time way are you telling me about the neighbour before . I always take note how people speak about others as you'll be next . And boy was I right..so i am now enemy no1. After not wanting to engage with gossip and chit chat. The gentlemen has become very nasty and started doing strange things name calling and moving things . Leaving old food in front of my door and screaming n*iggaand f******* retardwhile banging the door in the mornings . I guess he wants a reaction I have been very good . Have spoken to councillor but not much use as they want to go to police and press charges I explained I have to live there still and don't want to add gas to the fire . I am also not having the best experience with police as being profiled and treated like a criminal has been my experience from a young kid growing in London.I think these people are not happy They don't leave the house . Once a day to walk the dog and he screams at her for not giving him sex it is very embracing to hear and feel sorry for her he says she wont let him touch her so I see why he takes it out on me I guess I have to be the bigger person and believe this is a lesson i will not fail this test i will stay positive and wish them love and peace as you give what you put out i believe.. i have come along way the old me would have called my cousin to day hello but honestly he is a sad old ugly man inside and out so why would I add to the stress of a person like that . One day he will answer for his actions every thing has a consequence.Stat strong if you have neighbour issues it is all apart of this school we call life . Stay strong and have faith you'll be rewarded for it !!
Wish - 30-Nov-23 @ 10:05 PM
I'm being bullied by my neighbours. There are three flats involved. They surround me. My bedroom is adjacent to one neighbour's living room. I live underneath another neighbour and my kitchen is adjacent to the final and most important neighbour. These people have taken it upon themselves to cause me mental anguish by laughing vindictively at me all night long from 11pm to 6 am 7days a week. You might think I'm being petty but this is a coordinated attack on my sleep and welfare. The laughter is loud and vociferous, and constant. There is no respite it is constant laughter. I've contacted the appropriate bodies for the informal complaint but have been literally laughed off as a petty minded git. It's no joke though the people in these three flats have given themselves the mission of mentally torturing me through laughter! Why? I cannot say. Yes I am mentally ill. And that can mean two things. A; I'm making this up in my own head. Or B; the perpetrators know this and are having fun with the idea that I would be seen as a mentally ill person making this upin my own head. Can you please believe me when I say it's not A? I'm not conjuring a fantasy through delusion. I'm not overreacting to a few giggles. This is full on nasty vindictive laughing in the dead of night purely made to intimidate, mock , jeer and mentally torment me. And there's nothing I can do about it.
Anon - 10-Nov-23 @ 4:20 PM
I agree wholeheartedly with Agma's comments below. Society is breaking down and people's behaviours are changing for the worst. Had enough of our next door neighbours who are drug addicts, inconsiderate, immature and lack any social curtesy. Police are useless, council mean well but appear to be powerless. The only option we've had is to take civil action, which we're part way through and it is costly. If this is what we have to do to be able to live without being harassed so be it, I hope it goes to court and we win and the judge makes the neighbour pay our legal costs as well as theirs. There's my dream
David D - 4-Nov-23 @ 9:28 PM
The truth is problem neighbours cannot be completely avoided unless you are well heeled and can afford to live in a detached rural property. If you are surrounded by neighbours, there is likely to be some sort of issue at some point; so if you are fortunate enough to have good neighbours around you make sure you value them and let them know you hope they don't move becouse it can turn the moment someone new moves in who turns out to be a nightmare. Harassment and bullying is usually a secondary reaction to a prior incident or issue between you and someone else. I am someone with a strong personality and will retaliate within the margins of the law to someone trying to bully or harass me, but I understand many are older, younger, or with families, who are not in a position to defend themselves. This is far more of a widespread problem now than 20 years ago becouse the morals, respect, and values of this country's society are breaking down due to all-levels of entrenched division and declining standards of education. Councils and police deflect, delay, and downplay, all approaches of noise and abusive complaints, and this is ruining many, many lives across the country. Liberalism, soft touch politics, and an ineffective justice system is behind our increasingly warring, vacuous, and fraying communities; and the problem is only getting worse as governments and their associate departments are in denial due to their ruinous policies and methods of national and local management.
Agma - 2-Nov-23 @ 7:10 AM
The truth is problem neighbours cannot be completely avoided unless you are well heeled and can afford to live in a detached rural property. If you are surrounded by neighbours, there is likely to be some sort of issue at some point; so if you are fortunate enough to have good neighbours around you make sure you value them and let them know you hope they don't move becouse it can turn the moment someone new moves in who turns out to be a nightmare. Harassment and bullying is usually a secondary reaction to a prior incident or issue between you and someone else. I am someone with a strong personality and will retaliate within the margins of the law to someone trying to bully or harass me, but I understand many are older, younger, or with families, who are not in a position to defend themselves. This is far more of a widespread problem now than 20 years ago becouse the morals, respect, and values of this country's society are breaking down due to all-levels of entrenched division and declining standards of education. Councils and police deflect, delay, and downplay, all approaches of noise and abusive complaints, and this is ruining many, many lives across the country. Liberalism, soft touch politics, and an ineffective justice system is behind our increasingly warring, vacuous, and fraying communities; and the problem is only getting worse as governments and their associate departments are in denial due to their ruinous policies and methods of national and local management.
Agma - 2-Nov-23 @ 6:58 AM
I have been having trouble with my neighbours for over 4 years I am disabled I have server heart failure after having two heart attacks I can’t have anyone visit my home without them being intimidated they are not aloud to park near my home the neighbours have cars which they park outside my house to stop anyone to park near my home they have threatened me in the past where I have reported to the police and my local council they play loud music all day take drugs and they cars they have army taxed but still nothing done about it the police told me they wasn’t taken the threats any further as they was watching the house they live in and looking on the internet the male who lives there has done armed robberies house burglaries drug dealing and has attacked police officers in the past tits unbearable to have to live like this I have lived in my property from being born and never had anything like I am going through now and yet there is no help out there against these low life’s it is now having an impact on my health I am a prisoner in my own home
Corri - 30-Oct-23 @ 6:46 PM
I have been having trouble with my neighbours for over 4 years I am disabled I have server heart failure after having two heart attacks I can’t have anyone visit my home without them being intimidated they are not aloud to park near my home the neighbours have cars which they park outside my house to stop anyone to park near my home they have threatened me in the past where I have reported to the police and my local council they play loud music all day take drugs and they cars they have army taxed but still nothing done about it the police told me they wasn’t taken the threats any further as they was watching the house they live in and looking on the internet the male who lives there has done armed robberies house burglaries drug dealing and has attacked police officers in the past tits unbearable to have to live like this I have lived in my property from being born and never had anything like I am going through now and yet there is no help out there against these low life’s it is now having an impact on my health I am a prisoner in my own home
Corri - 30-Oct-23 @ 6:45 PM
I am amazed at how widespread the problem of bullying neighbours is. I bought my house (semi-terraced) in a new development 15 years ago. Since then one of my neighbours has harassed me no end. We share a very very short boundary wall. The northern side of my property faces a common driveway used by all neighbours. Because they do not have an exterior wall (but they have 2 gates) the developers put their post box, doorbell and entrance light on my wall. Big mistake! They consider the wall theirs. They changed the wall without saying a word to me. I saw it and unfortunately did not take action to keep the peace. But this made it worse because it convinced them perhaps that it was their wall. They've cut and poisoned plants that I have growing along the wall. I spoke with them, and the husband had the audacity to tell me that I should have come to them if I had problems with the wall. I politely told him that in fact since it was my property he should have spoken with me before touching the fence. After this the wife took to sweeping leaves, paper, cigarette butts, whatever was in the driveway, in front of my gate. I again ignored these antics and this riled her up even more. So she started throwing stuff over the wall into my property. At this point I reported it to the police and sent her a cease and desist from my lawyer. She was so enraged she started a stomping regime on the staircase which is on the shared internal wall. I couldn't invite people over because it was so embarrassing having this disturbance. I didn't stomp back or hit on the wall because I thought if they knew how much it affected me they would continue this behaviour. They then turned to complaining about my surveillance cameras. My lawyer responded but they were not happy at all. Now the wife takes to shouting obscenities in front of my property. She's also been spreading lies to the two neighbours that she's friendly with. While she doesn't speak to the others (there was some falling out or the other) she does not harass them. I agree with people here who say that ignoring them drives them crazy but it comes at a cost to your personal wellbeing. You need strength of character to not respond to some of the utter nonsense. No one should have to go through this and the police are helpful to a point. If I hadn't bought the house I would have already moved.
SW2023 - 13-Sep-23 @ 10:09 AM
For the last two years, I’ve been abused and attacked and have serious injuries to my left hand. Side of my body is 75-year-old man, and 74-year-old woman will not leave me alone. I have tried to take a personal order keeps putting it off I am scared for my life. I want to move to be back with my family but I cannot afford and no one will help me, I’m inside 24. Seven fearing for my life
Mosscat - 4-Sep-23 @ 6:58 AM
For the last 12 months, two years, I’ve been verbally abused and attacked at my fence by the neighbour I’ve taken a personal protection order to try and protect myself the 75-year-old man, and 74-year-old woman I cannot even go out my back door without them abusing me they throw rubbish over my fence. I can’t even get my clothes in or hang my clothes out or even put my hose on to water plants, I have planted for my granddaughter when she visits. I’ve been to court twice and the judge has put it off for another month. I am so scared for my life. I have all the windows and doors locked and too scared to go outside, unless my neighbour across the road is home , I want to move, but I can’t afford to, as I’m a pensioner bearable to live and I am scared for my life .
Mosscat - 4-Sep-23 @ 6:56 AM
I'm also being harassed and being mentally tortured by our upstairs narcissitic neighbours, stamping on the floor constantly shouting and singing all night, deliberately keeping us awake every single night, trying to imtimidate us they think they own the whole building, they listen to everything we do, they don't work, hanging around outside our door whispering, also now turned another neighbour against us who is a criminal , we are frightened to go in and out of our flat, as we feel very threatened, they really want to hurt us, landlords don't do anything or the police, it's been going on now for 9 months now, it's affecting our health, and I feel absolutely exhausted, very hard to find somewhere else to live, how are they allowed to get away with it, it's shocking?
M - 2-Sep-23 @ 4:43 PM
For the last couple of months I have been harassed by my neighbors son and his girlfriend. I have called my landlord and all he says is he will talk to them. That doesn’t help. I can’t do anything and I mean anything in my house. If I take a shower, wash dishes or do laundry they yell and scream at me to turn my water off or they will shut it off for me. I have to turn my tv up just to drowned them out. I have been called a N lover (my husband is Black). They have threatened to beat my ass, cut my potbelly pigs throat, they have said that they violated my 4 1/2 year old potbelly pig. I had to put her down a month ago. They tell me to get out of their house and they are staying with mommy. They yell and scream 24/7, pound on the walls, stand outside my front door, and my window to listen to what I’m doing. I can’t even call my family without them listening. They have said that he will break in my house and rape me and my pig. I have called the cops and nothing gets done about it. I lost my job because of the situation. Can someone please help me this has gotten out of hand I’m scared to leave my apartment. I have put cameras in my backyard along with a motion sensor and a camera at my front door. My husband and I don’t bother anyone we go to work and come home, mind our own business. I’m desperate, scared please can someone help
Niky - 31-Aug-23 @ 2:21 PM
My have yesterday moved in kicking my door paralysed down my right side I'm 51 . They in the 20'ssick of it . I think they have done something wrong to my Cat.
Bazer - 31-Aug-23 @ 1:04 AM
Hi, im 18 years old and recently moved into a majority-white and close-knit suburb, 5 years ago. I can't say I've felt safe stepping out my house for the last 2 years, and even worse I worry even more for my family who seem more courageous or naive than me. I'm not particularly someone good at confrontation, which gives me a sort of impostor feeling, as prior to moving here I've mostly been respected by my peers, which now seems to be replaced with condescension. Now I have difficulty acting on justice myself, and being courageous enough to deal with it. And to make this worse, our neighbours started picking on us, until the neighbours from another house in front of ours, started doing the same, except their family was very impulsive for the worst; they were somewhat popular for doing acting out-of-hand. This escalated to the point where they started upsetting our comfort and safety as soon as we stepped one foot outside the front door. Whether it's yelling disrespectful insults at my mother, who is the kindest soul and still puts up so strongly, or flipping my brother off when he goes on a late night drive. Insofar, if I could take the brunt of everything they're facing and put up with it all by myself, I would do that without a second thought. I know its not my fault, but my ego won't allow me to simply let my family be disrespected and offended for absolutely nothing, and its so torturing, because despite this saviour-ego, my fear or lack of courage won't let me act. If I could count the amount of times I've tried to harness this 'said' courage or this magical shining light which suddenly turns me into a golden-plated mercenary, on command, I would probably have a hard time. And it hits me all the harder to admit this, as someone who has had the illusion or perhaps the reality of being a protective knight for my family all my life. Its just in the moment my courage falls, even when the assailant (or rather bully) is younger than me, and then this quadruples. And somehow despite all this, I still feel like my caution is correct, and that my family is naive and I know what reality holds, and though I can clearly see the cognitive bias making me think my courage-less self understands what may happen better, even a caution of threat towards my family is substantial for me, as I cannot stand for it. It may be said that my family can stand up for themselves and do not require me to do so, but I cannot accept that. One some side note there has been an incident involving my direct neighbours, in which we have had to call the police as one of their friends chased my dad with unknown intent. If something were to happen to my father that day, I would not have been able to contain my anger, and whether it ate me up or would've caused me to hurt these people is unknown. My mother also cried after this event, having experienced verbal abuse by some of the other neighbours' kids when putting bins out prior, which made me feel unsettled with
Msatd - 28-Aug-23 @ 8:35 PM
This thread is full of people suffering abuse from neighbors and being ignored by those who should be helping them. Most of these posts ask for help, many have endured years of abuse. It's an indictment of societies when people are tormented without let up and no one helps. I am nearly 70 and live alone and I have been bullied by (downstairs) neighbors, this has gone on for nearly two years. I was bullied by two separate neighbors (both upstairs)at my previous address for four years; the police charged one with harassment but the commissioner overturned that charge. I went to the police about the second neighbor, and was told that the intentional disruption of my sleep by stomping on the floor at night above my bed for 8 months and being constantly followed room to room was normal. I rarely got more than 3 hrs of sleep on any night for nearly a year; I aged a lot in that time. After another two years of this same targeted abuse I really don't know what to do. There's a lot of advice for teens and school children on the UK who are being bullied, but nothing for older people. Moving seems impossible because there's a chronic housing shortage in the UK and what is available is very substandard or very high rent. I am thinking of putting most of what I own in storage and then what, I have no idea, only that living here is ruining my health on all levels. I've read all your stories and experiences above and want to say you don't deserve to be abused. None of us do and there needs to be meaningful intervention with deterrent consequences so that bullies understand that it is not acceptable and will be made accountable.
Mandy - 7-Jul-23 @ 11:53 PM
I have lived in my house for almost 7 years.The neighbour, who is in her late 40s has started to complain, over the fence about my dogs barking. She is in her 40s and I'm 74 yrs of age.In the last couple of weeks she has turned her attention from the dogs towards me, and has become verbally abusive, aggressive, threatening, and insensitive whilst throwing nasty comments around. This she does at the top of her voice so the whole neighbourhood must be aware of her behaviour. As we live in a very close-knit community of elderly people everyone keeps their eyes down. I have logged one incident of her screaming at me and drenching one of my dogs with a hose pipe.Since then I live on tenterhooks wondering when she will start again.Lucky for me my grandson is currently staying at my house and he is a good support, only now she's started having a go at him.I have contacted the dog warden who assured me that if my dogs are indoor pets who bark only when people arrive at the house or who pass by on a relatively quiet lane, their advice was not to worry.My biggest concern is that she might in some way harm the dogs. I can't say I'm afraid of her per se, I'm afraid of what she might be capable of.I'd like to know what course of action I can take that will make her back off and leave me in peace.
Katie - 14-Jun-23 @ 8:06 PM
The unit above mine (we're both owners) has been actively following me throughout my own unit. They are 3. I live alone with my small dog that never barks. Even now, heavy stomping, dragging of chairs, dropping heavy objects repeatedly right above my head, the minute I fall asleep, they start hamering, drilling, using a chainsaw, doing laundry and throws buckets of dirty water onto my property. They actively harass my dog by emitting high pitched sounds and dragging furniture nonstop wherever she lays. She's an elderly dog. My association refuses to help me because I'm black and the occupants in the unit above are not. I just returned home this morning. My dog is currently hiding. The police won't do anything because I'm black. The constant stalking and harassment is preventing me from sleeping, working from home as a certified court interpreter and living. I don't know who to turn to. They seem to have some ties to BSO. The HOA lawyer defamed me last week by contacting a friend of mine. He left a message on his mailbox last Tuesday 6/6/23 asking if I had mental issues. Then the HOA lawyer contacted my former colleague who I don't even talk to like that to ask if I had psychological issues. I'm in the process of reporting him to the Florida Bar. The police officer who came on Sunday basically told me to allow that attorney to treat me like a slave. This is unbearable. Why am I being treated this way in 2023. Sytemic racism is costing me my job, my sleep and my peace of mind.
Mimi - 13-Jun-23 @ 6:05 PM
I live in USA, we have a neighbor 2doors down, solisited by the next door neighbor, after5 years, who told us white people do not belong here, they think they are better than people and they need to leave. Have been threatened to be beat up, but they ran to police behind our back and said we are stalling them, we have put up 6 foot fence, but they constantly drive by house, and get people to follow us, mob mentality. These people scream out cat windows, they are Puerto Rican, no issues fir 5 years, until neighbor brought home 3rd wife from there in5 years and the screaming started
Shar - 13-Jun-23 @ 3:30 AM
We moved 2 years ago to a lovely welsh village , we went out most days to see this beautiful country so never really seethe neighbours ,but most them were pleasant , I must have looked at one of them wrong one day , as all of them completely ignore me , I went to the shop which is 22 Mile's away and there are 3 women that serve that throw me filthy looks and one on the tills threw all my Xmas shopping to the bottom of the belt when she scanned it , my husband thought it was because we were english , but I lately seen these 3 women live in my village ,I also found that they have taken my photo and spread it to all and sundry, I'm getting looks off people I don't even know even when we are miles away in another town ,in fact the 3 women I had never seen before so someone must have sent them my pic because how did they know I was from their village ,we did our shopping regular in the supermarket 22 miles away ,but I can't go in anymore as I feel I'm being harrased I really do hope these people get karma , I'm being persecuted and it is really upsetting me
Piper - 9-Jun-23 @ 11:16 AM
Kill them with kindness.. No. It was kindness that made them think I was weak and easy to use. Saying no unleashed their narcissistic tenancies... silent treatment, smear campaigns.... Took me a long time to realise that they are what they are. I am not responsible for their warped behaviour.
She - 7-Jun-23 @ 11:01 AM
My neighbours are causing me no end of stress and anxiety. They keep threatening to remove the boundary fence, which is actually my fence. Their patio door constantly bangs against the fence and they have removed the buffers I applied. I have no idea what they have done with them. They cut my plants down without permission and are SO loud it is unbearable. This is before I mention their parking! One of the occupants has recently started working as a childminder and her 'customers' have so far blocked me in and use my front garden as a thoroughfare, almost scratching my car on numerous occasions. They often have fires and burn rubbish, including plastic in a huge metal barrel, I contacted the local council about this and nothing was done about it because they are private houses. They are making my life unbearable. I have previously tried to discuss these issues politely with said neighbours and was told to 'get a life'. I don't know what to do anymore!
ERW - 24-May-23 @ 8:24 PM
Physiologically, Emotionally distressed by an older woman who is my neighbor whom is also head of the residents committee association in bridgefoot street Dublin 8 I mind absolutely nobody at any time or any day I keep myself to myself and try to live as peacefully as possible,this woman has today verbally bullied me while I was in my local shop! She spoke under her breath as per usual.i feel extremely intimidated by her as she's absolutely far from a nice)kind person. I want to make sure I am not subjected to her belittled behaviour she brings upon me as she doesn't like me for reasons unknown to myself. She's mentally challenged my mental health,I'm extremely intimidated also overwhelmed by her presence and behaviour. I wish to live peacefully rather than put up with slide/ comments amd remarks towards me
Amanda - 22-May-23 @ 8:44 PM
Our neighbours are the pits... blocking the drive... told us to knock their doors to use our own drive... reported our dogs... name calling over the fence at my dog... and we think his son hit our car the towbar... he's done a lot of damage to his own car... but it's difficult to prove because the cameras don't reach...he has kareoke and loud music and his dogs always fight ... but I'm a firm believer in karma .
Tink - 21-May-23 @ 3:12 PM
We have neighbors who asked for us to chip in on a major yard project that had nothing to do with us.We refused. As a result we built a fence. Since them they have complained about the fence and a drain that has been on our property for 25 years. When we put in a video surveillance system he yelled out obscenities. We retained a law firm and they wrote him a letter of cease and desist plus to stay out of our property.Since them he has clamped do to being scared. But now his kid is yelling “we’re crazy”. What can we do. We are older and they are very young.
Peace lover - 21-May-23 @ 12:01 AM
Me and my family have suffered for many years, our children targeted by bullies adults included. How can these children that bully ever know right from wrong ? When their parents are just as bad. I have so much to say about this but no one ever listened when i spoke out. Police and local councils turned a blind eye. We have now moved area but I will still talk about it. Just this morning I’ve read that one teenage boy that bullied my small children as stabbed his mum. Such a sad scary world we live in. I’ve never sent my children to school I’m so glad they will turn out differently.
Mel78 - 12-May-23 @ 6:20 PM
I've lived in a suburban community for about 7 years and though most of the neighbors are either into themselves or tune me out, I've been made to feel uncomfortable by some as well.Again, most come and go and do their own thing which is what I prefer as a shy until I know someone type of person.One lady however I noticed corrected my parking not long after I moved in in the least friendly way possible and on another occasion even came right up to my car when I was orienting myself to leave a parking spot and again was gruff and undiplomatic, complaining she couldn't open her trunk, and not allowing me the chance to say I will soon be vacating the spot so she can access said trunk.Most recently she and some neighborhood maintenance folk were blocking half of a busy intersection from which I was attempting to make a turn to access a parking spot I desired.When they didn't use their antennae to move from blocking the area and thereby putting their precious convo on hold for a brief time frame, I was forced to ask them to please allow me to pass to which they begrudgingly complied but not without quickly snickering amongst themselves and giving me unfriendly glances at best.I've done my best to basically ignore this troublemaking neighborhood bully but must admit I cringe at the site of her.I'm curious as to how others here would deal with such shenanigans.It's not as if I live in a rental where I can easily up and leave, being in a coop, and being that my fiancé will soon be moving in, the more peaceful things are the better!One time I even found an insulting note complete with an expletive on my dashboard from someone complaining that I hadn't parked close enough to the car in front of me.Thanks in advance for listening!
Dave - 4-May-23 @ 9:24 AM
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